"Jack Meet's His Match"
A Third Season Episode
Scene- Apartment
Jack: Girls, I'm going to the Reagle Beagle to meet my blind date.
Chrissy: What happened, can't get a girl who can look at you?
Jack: *Impersonates Chrissy's Snort* Larry set me up with her. He said she's really nice, if you know what I mean.
Janet: I can't believe your taking out a girl with such bad taste!
[Ropers Come In]
Mr. Roper: RENT!
Mrs. Roper: Stanley, you should say 'Please'
first!
Mr. Roper: Okay, Helen. Jack, Janet, Chrissy, can I please have the rent or should I send you out on the street?
Jack: Mr. Roper, don't you know it's National Tenant's Week?
Mr. Roper: What's that?
Janet: What kind of landlord are you if you don't know your national holidays.
Mr. Roper: I'm a good one, a good one. Chrissy, can you refresh my memory.
Chrissy: Okay! During National Tenants Week, tenants can be late with the rent!
Mr. Roper: Oh, I knew that. I was just too excited!
Mrs. Roper: Excited! Thanks kids!
[Ropers leave]
Jack: Well, I have to leave for the Beagle!
Janet & Chrissy: Bye Jack!
Scene- The Reagle Beagle
Jim: Hey Jack! A woman named Donna Lato is waiting for you. She's (points) right there.
[Jack walks there]
Donna: Are you Jack Tripper?
Jack: I sure am, unless someone's impersonating me.
Donna: [Laughs] You seem like a nice guy!
Jack: Well, thank you!
[They talk for a bout 1/2 an hour]
Donna: Do you want to go to my place?
Jack: Excuse me?
Donna: You know what I said.
Jack: Ahhhh, that's what I thought you said. Well, um, yes, I mean no, wait.. I guess.
Donna: Then lets go.
Scene- Donna's house
Donna: This is my humble home.
Jack: It's very nice.
Donna: Make yourself comfortable while I slip into something more comfortable.
Jack turns on television.
TV (Narrator): Hi! Susie Chaffree has decided to change her name to Susie Chapstick.
TV (Susie): Ohh, this is real chapstick weather.
TV (Boy): It's Susie Chapstick!
[Donna comes in, with a nighty on, and turns the TV off]
Jack: Why did you do that?
Donna: Jack, lets let nature take it's course.
Jack: What!?
Donna: You know, the birds and the bees. Buzz, buzz, buzz.
Jack: Oh....OH! Wait Donna, I have to get something out of the car.
Donna: You don't have a car!
Jack: Did I say car? I meant bag.
Donna: Well, hurry! Your bee's waiting for you. Buzz, buzz.
Jack goes running through the night, to the apartment, with Donna chasing after him.
Scene-Apartment
Chrissy: I wonder how Jack's doing?
Janet: He's probably shocked by her ugliness.
Chrissy: Snort Snort
Jack runs into the apartment.
Chrissy: Hi Jack! Is she that ugly?
Jack: She's a maniac!
Donna comes in, buzzing.
Donna: I see! You have dates with them, don't you?! Well, good-bye, Jack Tripper!
Donna leaves
Chrissy: I'm going to set that girl straight.
Jack: Don't, Chrissy!
Janet: Why shouldn't see?
Jack explains.
Janet: That's horrible!
Jack: I know! Look what she did to my shirt!
Jack's shirt is ripped.
Janet and Chrissy: We're so sorry! (They start smooching Jack.)
The End!
A Third Season Episode
Scene- Apartment
Jack: Girls, I'm going to the Reagle Beagle to meet my blind date.
Chrissy: What happened, can't get a girl who can look at you?
Jack: *Impersonates Chrissy's Snort* Larry set me up with her. He said she's really nice, if you know what I mean.
Janet: I can't believe your taking out a girl with such bad taste!
[Ropers Come In]
Mr. Roper: RENT!
Mrs. Roper: Stanley, you should say 'Please'
first!
Mr. Roper: Okay, Helen. Jack, Janet, Chrissy, can I please have the rent or should I send you out on the street?
Jack: Mr. Roper, don't you know it's National Tenant's Week?
Mr. Roper: What's that?
Janet: What kind of landlord are you if you don't know your national holidays.
Mr. Roper: I'm a good one, a good one. Chrissy, can you refresh my memory.
Chrissy: Okay! During National Tenants Week, tenants can be late with the rent!
Mr. Roper: Oh, I knew that. I was just too excited!
Mrs. Roper: Excited! Thanks kids!
[Ropers leave]
Jack: Well, I have to leave for the Beagle!
Janet & Chrissy: Bye Jack!
Scene- The Reagle Beagle
Jim: Hey Jack! A woman named Donna Lato is waiting for you. She's (points) right there.
[Jack walks there]
Donna: Are you Jack Tripper?
Jack: I sure am, unless someone's impersonating me.
Donna: [Laughs] You seem like a nice guy!
Jack: Well, thank you!
[They talk for a bout 1/2 an hour]
Donna: Do you want to go to my place?
Jack: Excuse me?
Donna: You know what I said.
Jack: Ahhhh, that's what I thought you said. Well, um, yes, I mean no, wait.. I guess.
Donna: Then lets go.
Scene- Donna's house
Donna: This is my humble home.
Jack: It's very nice.
Donna: Make yourself comfortable while I slip into something more comfortable.
Jack turns on television.
TV (Narrator): Hi! Susie Chaffree has decided to change her name to Susie Chapstick.
TV (Susie): Ohh, this is real chapstick weather.
TV (Boy): It's Susie Chapstick!
[Donna comes in, with a nighty on, and turns the TV off]
Jack: Why did you do that?
Donna: Jack, lets let nature take it's course.
Jack: What!?
Donna: You know, the birds and the bees. Buzz, buzz, buzz.
Jack: Oh....OH! Wait Donna, I have to get something out of the car.
Donna: You don't have a car!
Jack: Did I say car? I meant bag.
Donna: Well, hurry! Your bee's waiting for you. Buzz, buzz.
Jack goes running through the night, to the apartment, with Donna chasing after him.
Scene-Apartment
Chrissy: I wonder how Jack's doing?
Janet: He's probably shocked by her ugliness.
Chrissy: Snort Snort
Jack runs into the apartment.
Chrissy: Hi Jack! Is she that ugly?
Jack: She's a maniac!
Donna comes in, buzzing.
Donna: I see! You have dates with them, don't you?! Well, good-bye, Jack Tripper!
Donna leaves
Chrissy: I'm going to set that girl straight.
Jack: Don't, Chrissy!
Janet: Why shouldn't see?
Jack explains.
Janet: That's horrible!
Jack: I know! Look what she did to my shirt!
Jack's shirt is ripped.
Janet and Chrissy: We're so sorry! (They start smooching Jack.)
The End!