Iceland is not a superhero

neither am I

Nor are we 'team volcano'

Vomiting lava isn't a superpower

I shouldn't try to get revenge on Japan for pearl harbour

Dad did that for me with some atom bombs forever ago

I must not hit California with my ukulele

Or Oregon … or Washington... Or anybody else, for that matter

Kilauea is not an excuse to get off school

Kona Coffee is not for children

I must not try to make a spam smoothie

I must not give the spam smoothie to California

will NEVER draw a swastika on Germany's forehead ever again.

Unless I want there to be a ww3

Netherlands is NOT Edward Cullen

Nor is he Cedward

I am not allowed to stick fries in my shave ice

They taste awful like that

I shouldn't give Sealand valentines day cards

Wy will kill me

I'm not allowed to hit Wy with my ukulele

Even if she is a snob

Australia will kill me

I am not allowed to hit Australia with my ukulele, either.

Or Australia's crocodile

It makes my ukulele go out of tune

can't call England 'Whales's Brother'

Nor can I call Japan 'Robo-island'

Iceland doesn't like it when I follow him around singing 'ice, ice baby! Volcanoes, glaciers,

GRAVY'

Iceland doesn't even have anything to do with gravy

I must not call Wy a consonant

Or a 'sometimes' vowel

Wy is not a letter

Nor is she little miss no – vowels

I must not give France a pedobear suit for christmas

Alaska is not ' Canarussiamerica'

that doesn't even make any sense

States are not allowed at world meetings

Even if they bring Sealand with them

If I ever get to go to a meeting, I should not do a presentation about humuhumunukunukuapua'a

nobody else can say it

I should not randomly shout POIIIII ~

I should not take examples from Italy

pearl harbour day is not an excuse to chase Japan with a broom

I will not invite New York over for summer vacation. It will involve aircrafts of some sort

New York is scared of anything that flies and isn't a bug or a kite

Ukraine's boobs are not 'bigger than Mauna Kea'

When in Iceland, do not ask to see the famous museum.

I may not randomly glomp Sealand, even though I'm not heavy enough to knock him over

California is not the' boob job state'

The other states can call me the 'disaster state' if they want.

They call me this because I am prone to natural disasters

Calling me the ' disaster state' is not punishable by being hit with my ukulele

Or a dictionary

I am not allowed to throw dictionaries at Rhode Island

Even if he does need a proper definition of 'Island'

I must never invite Massachusetts to a tea party

I must not chant 'pineAPPLE!'

PineAPPLE is not my catchphraze

I must not touch the honu in the ocean

Cycling down Mauna Kea was the STUPIDEST idea in the universe

I should not roller skate down it, either.

Kiluea is a volcano. Volcanoes are NOT for toasting marshmallows over

I shouldn't kidnap random nations and hold them hostage at Mauna Kea Observatories

The lack of oxygen might make them pass out

Sealand is petrified of giant land snails

I shouldn't let the one from my back yard slither up his leg

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a is not code

I need to stop saying it is

Scones are not good bricks

They're too weird a shape

Blowing bubbles in my milk at some fancy French diner is forbidden

And France has Cafés, not diners

Only New Jersey has diners

And I shouldn't be in France anyway ...

Khop is short for Ken's House Of Pancakes

It is not code either

I must not tell Sealand the story of Kapo

Just because I know stuff like that, doesn't mean he should

I shouldn't bodyslam other unsuspecting states.

Even if I'M the one who gets hurt

I must not compare Kilauea to Eyjafjallajökull

Iceland doesn't like it

Neither do I, actually

Hákarl does NOT make a good breakfast

Even if Iceland eats it

Being able to eat Hákarl doesn't make Iceland a superhero, either

Poland's pony doesn't taste like raisins

And I shouldn't lick it to find out

England's food is not a chemical weapon

I must not mumble 'bork, bork, bork' whenever I see Sweden

Nor may I run away screaming

Dad is not captain America

England is not the Former British Emperor Of A Bunch Of Random Places

He is the Former British Empire

Or something like that

Japan is not ' anime land'

that sounds to much like a theme park

Trying to juggle Greece's cats is a REALLY, REALLY bad idea

So is stealing Hungary's frying pan

She will hit me with China's wok

Getting hit with China's wok really hurts