Need You Now
Summary: Set after Severus calls Lily mudblood. Sev is desperate to make up with Lily and although Lily is angry, she misses him. From Sev and Lily's POV. Songfic set to Need You Now by Lady Antebellum. SevxLily. One sided LupinxLily.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters and I do not own the song. The small extract from HBP is also not mine, but JKR's.
I cannot believe I destroyed everything I had with Lily Evans with one simple word. Only, it's not a simple word, it's highly offensive, and now Lily is never going to speak to me again. Not that I would blame her, but Lily Evans was…is, the best part of my life. I couldn't possibly love anyone more than I love her.
But of course, me being the absolute idiot I am, I have ruined everything. I lie back on my bed and close my eyes, multiple images of Lily flash before me.
The first time I ever laid eyes on her. She was eight years old and already perfect, her family were just moving in. She hopped out of the car, her waist length fiery red hair glimmering and shining in the summer sun. She spun around, her wide green eyes met mine and she smiled. I waved back shyly before running away, her sisters' uncontrollable laughter ringing in my ears.
"Shush Tuney!" I hear her insist before I get out of earshot.
I saw Lily many times after this as she only lived a short walk away, and I instantly knew she was special. I used to hang about the park and stare at her while she played with her older sister, who was not so pretty and rather annoying. It was when I was watching her in the park I first realised she could do magic, she was a witch. She was like me.
The more I watched her, the more I longed to talk to her. I was scared though, scared she would reject me. No one had ever given a damn about me, so why should she?
One day I was alone in the park when she walked towards me confidently and stood in front of me. We were nine now.
"Is your sister not with you?" Was the first sentence that popped into my mind. It was the first time I had ever spoken to her.
"No." She replied sweetly, flipping back her long hair. "Do you want her to be?" She asked quietly, self consciously.
"No." I hurriedly replied.
She smiled. "I'm Lily Evans." She offered me her small hand.
This was the day I learned her name, the name that will stay with me forever.
I took her hand in mine, it was soft and warm. I found myself grinning. "Severus Snape." I replied through my grin and we shook hands.
I've noticed you watching me." Lily prompted as we dropped hands and she took a seat beside me.
"Yeah, I guess I have." I admit shyly, there was no point in denying it; the girl who sat next to me was clever.
"Why?" She enquired in her sugary sweet childish voice, looking intrigued.
"Because I think you're lovely." I feel myself blush furiously as I admit this to her.
"You should have came over and said hello." She suggested softly as she began to twirl the ends of her long flame red hair around her fingers.
"I was scared you wouldn't like me." It seemed so stupid as I was saying it.
"That's silly." She reasoned with a giggle.
"Yeah, it is." I agreed with a laugh.
"Lily?" Came a female voice in the distance.
"I have to go." She frowned. "Come by the house any time, you know which one it is." She gave me one last beautiful smile before skipping away.
I never did take her up on her offer; I didn't want her to find out about my awful home life. So I continued to watch her from afar, sweet little Lily Evans, and as time passed she displayed more and more signs of magic.
I eventually plucked up the courage to approach her again, in the run up to our eleventh birthdays, before we would receive our Hogwarts letters. After listening to her arguing with her sister I jumped out of my hiding place behind a clump of bushes. "It's obvious isn't it?" I asked. Her sister shrieked loudly and ran back to the swings. Lily remained where she was.
"What's obvious?" Asked Lily.
"I know what you are." I can remember that my insides were tingling with excitement in that moment.
"What do you mean?" I had confused her, she gazed at me inquisitively.
"You're…you're a witch." I whispered to her.
"That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody!" She stormed back over too her sister, nose in the air.
"No!" I yelled, I hadn't meant to offend her. I followed her to the swings.
"You are." I said to Lily, trying to convince her. "You are a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard." I told her enthusiastically.
Lily's sister burst out laughing, a cold unfriendly laugh. "Wizard!" She shrieked, evidently amused. "I know who you are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's end by the river!" She told Lily. "Why have you been spying on us?" She demanded.
"Haven't been spying." I insisted weakly, she was making me uncomfortable. "Wouldn't spy on you anyway, you're a muggle." I smirked.
"Lily, come on, we're leaving!" She exclaimed angrily, storming out of the park with Lily hot on her heels, glaring at me as she left.
'That went well' I thought sarcastically.
My next memory of Lily Evans really was picture perfect. We were sitting on the grass by the river, cross legged and facing each other.
"…and the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside school, you get letters." I inform her.
She came back to me and now I am telling her everything I know about out world. She listens to my every word eagerly, her beautiful green eyes sparkling with excitement.
I sigh loudly as out current situation plagues my thoughts. We used to hang onto each others every word, now I'll be lucky if I can get within ten feet of Lily without her running away.
I have to talk to her, need to talk to her. My mind already made up I push myself out of bed, shrugging my Slytherin robes on over my pyjamas and making my way to Gryffindor Tower.
"Lily?" A soft questioning voice breaks me out of my trance. "Have you been crying?" The soft voice asks.
I look up from the fire to meet the gentle eyes of Remus Lupin. He flashes me a sympathetic smile. "No." I deny, my voice still thick from the tears.
Remus gives me another gentle smile as he crouches down in front of the battered armchair I am occupying in Gryffindor common room. He reaches up to my face, gently sweeping away the remnants of the tears from my cheeks. "Talk to me." He whispers.
I let out a long sigh. "I really thought he was my friend Remus." I can feel the tears build in my eyes once more but fight to hold them back.
"I know Lily." He says softly, moving to rest on the arm of my chair, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "He doesn't deserve you."
I lean into his embrace, wrapping an arm around his waist. "I thought he loved me." I whisper sadly.
I feel Remus brush my long hair away from my face. I am thankful the common room is empty but for the two of us. If James heard about me being in a close embrace with one of his best friends I dread to think what he would do. "Maybe he did love you, but would he have called you that if he truly loved you?"
"I don't know." I frown. I really don't know what to do; the only men in my life are James and his bunch of misfits, except for Remus who is definitely not a misfit, and Sev, who always meant so much to me.
"Remus?" I murmur.
"Lily?" I hear him reply.
"I think I love him." I whisper gently, a single tear begins to fall down my cheek.
Remus smiles sadly. "I care about you a lot Lily." He pulls me closer.
"I know." I close my eyes and take a deep breath, this is hard. "You're a good friend Remus, I'm sorry I don't love you in the same way you love me." I reply softly.
"It's okay." He says in barely a whisper before pressing a kiss on top of my head. I cant tell if he's really okay or not, he doesn't give me enough time to contemplate this.
"Do you really love Snape?" He sounds calm, his arms still around me.
"I nod slowly. "I know what he said was awful," I begin chewing thoughtfully on my lower lip. "But I miss him." I admit.
"Then, why don't you go and talk to him?" Remus suggests.
"Really?!" I cant hide the tone of surprise from my voice. This was the last thing I expected him to say.
"You don't have to sound so surprised." He retorts, I feel him grin where his head is rested against mine.
"Sorry." I smile.
"Well, are you going to talk to him?" He enquires.
"What, now?!" I question.
"Again with the tone of surprise." He smirks; I can't help but grin back. "Go talk to him Lily." Remus advises.
"Thank you." I murmur, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. "You're an amazing friend."
"I try." He smiles sadly.
"Good luck." I hear him call as I push the portrait open.
I rush down the Grand Staircase, praying that I don't bump into any of the Prefects on my travels. I dread to think of the consequences for Gryffindor House should I get caught.
As I walk up the stairs from the Dungeons, I realise this is my last and only chance to make things right with Lily. This thought alone keeps me going as I reach the top of the stairs. I check, slowly peering round the mouth of the stairs to see if there are any Prefects around. By some stroke of luck the Prefect supposed to be patrolling the Entrance Hall is slumped fast asleep against one of the stone walls. Smirking I sprint as fast as I can towards the Grand Staircase.
I rush up the first flight of stairs before they can change, intending to use a secret passage on the first floor that will take me to the fifth floor. This is when I bump into someone. "Shit!" I curse loudly, believing I have bumped into a prefect.
"Sev?!" Comes her soft, surprised voice and I can feel her hand rested on my upper arm.
"Lily?!" I blink stupidly, not quite believing it is her. I must look like a right tit! I frown.
"Who goes there?!" Comes the sharp voice of a prefect from a few floors above.
"Shit!" We curse in unison as we hear the advancing footsteps.
"C'mon." She grasps my hand, beginning to run and pulling me away from my position frozen to the floor. I obey her and immediately we begin to run down the first floor corridor.
Lily runs slightly ahead of me but never once let's go of my hand, her long red hair bouncing and dancing along behind her.
"Where are we going?" I gasp breathlessly.
"Sshh!" She hisses before pulling open a classroom door, yanking me in and releasing my hand. She pushes the door shut as quietly as possible.
"Lily?" I question.
"Sshh!" She hisses once more, pressing her ear to the door. I lean against the door next to her, my hand unconsciously resting on the small of her back.
We listen quietly; the prefect who heard her meets another prefect directly outside the door of our classroom.
"No sign of them." He sounds disappointed.
"C'mon, we don't have to patrol for much longer. Lets go back upstairs." They begin to walk away and I can hear mine and Lily's hearts pounding furiously in our chests.
"That was close." She sighs in relief as we move away from the door.
"Tell me about it." I flash a small smile. "What are you doing out of bed Lily?" I question softly.
"I was looking for you." She replies equally as softly. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. Why are you up?" She asks.
"Same. I couldn't get today off my mind. I miss you." I answer simply.
"Oh." She looks surprised.
"I love you Lily." I gush, before she opens her mouth to speak once more.
Lily's face breaks into a smile. I smile back.
"I love you Lily." The words I never thought I would hear escape from his lips. For a minute I am shocked and not quite sure how to react. Then, I smile and Sev smiles back. "You love me?" I repeat, as a question this time.
"I do." He confirms. "Lily I am so, SO sorry about this afternoon." He takes my hand. "Please forgive me." He pleads.
I sigh loudly. "You really hurt me Sev." I whisper.
"Lily, you and I are perfect for each other. I know you think so too." He tries to convince me.
"How do I know you won't say that to me again?" I demand loudly. "How do I know you won't choose those creeps over me? I'm scared I'm not enough for you Sev." I confess.
"And I'm scared you'll end up leaving me for James bloody Potter!" He yells at the top of his voice.
"Sev…" I whisper softly, not quite sure what to say. "Please I don't want to argue. We're fifteen; let's talk about this as adults." I plead.
"Well maybe it's about time we had an argument Lily." He shouts back.
"I don't believe you! You've just told me you loved me and now you're screaming at me, I can't win!" I throw my arms up in exasperation and walk down the classroom away fro, him.
"Why do you always have to be so dramatic?!" He calls, crossing the room to meet me, folding his arms across his chest and standing in front of me defiantly.
"I'm being dramatic!" I place my hand on my chest. "You called me a fucking mudblood, that's what I call dramatic!" I scream, anger now coursing violently through my veins.
"Lily, please?" He asks a lot gentler. "I need you Lily."
"FINE! I love you! But I'm terrified you'll keep hurting me!" I scream at the top of my lungs, sounding rather hysterical.
Sev gazes at me. "You talk too much." He murmurs gently.
"You talk too much." I murmur before placing my hands on her slim waist, pulling her close and finally pressing my lips to hers.
She resists for a moment, trying to push me away. I feel her tears splash gently onto my face. I hate that I am making her cry.
Mere moments later, to my absolute joy, Lily wraps her arms around my neck and begins to move her lips against mine. The kiss is soft, sweet and perfect. I never want to let her go.
We break apart and Lily rests her forehead against mine, letting out a gentle sigh.
"I'm going to love you till the end of time." I whisper, meaning every single word.
"I really do love you Sev." Lily whispers, gently brushing her lips against mine once more.
"I'm never going to let you go Lily Evans; I would give up my life for you." I swear to her.
"Let's just live for the moment. You never know which day could be your last." She whispers softly, gently brushing my hair away from my face.
"I'm never letting you go again." I reiterate, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead and enveloping her in my arms.
"I'm glad." She replies gently, resting her head on my shoulder and wrapping her arms around my waist.
"I love you." She whispers into my ear.
"I love you too, forever and always."