Chapter One
Jasper
I am a monster despite what others try to tell me, if I wasn't then I wouldn't be here now, hiding my shame in the forest away from the family who took me in and the girl who gave me hope. My whole life, first as a human, then a vampire has been a series of disasters with just tiny pinpoints of light here and there. I was the second eldest of four boys born to parents who had a small farm in Texas. My mother was a wonderful woman who loved us all and sheltered us as much as she could from our father. Michael Whitlock was a bully and a drunkard who took out his anger and frustrations on whoever was closest when he got home. I grew up from a baby to the sound of fists on soft flesh, fell asleep to the sobs of whoever received the beating that day. My eldest brother Samuel died when I was eight years old, he tried to get between my father and mother and was punched in the head. Two days later he collapsed in the fields while ploughing and died a few hours later, bleeding on the brain the doctor said, caused by Samuel hitting his head on a rock when he collapsed but we knew better. With Samuel gone I became the eldest and came in for more attention from my father. My mother stepped in when she could but I felt her terror and pain as if it were my own, and my own was easier to deal with.
When I was twelve my mother died, not of abuse but weariness, she faded away before my eyes, not eating and sitting in her chair for hours looking at something in the distance only she could see. I took more abuse than ever during her illness to stop my father hitting the ghost she was becoming. The two younger boys Joe and William became sick drinking polluted water from the creek when my father stopped them from using the well during a dry spell. Michael was lucky, he died quickly but Joe survived, a very weak child who became my fathers favourite. I was glad when the Civil War started and ran away to join the Confederate Army, it was that or stay as my fathers punch bag. The army was my first brief point of light in the darkness that was my life up to then. I had a good tactical brain and rose through the ranks to become the youngest Major they'd ever promoted and that was using my fictional age, I was too young to join up really but I was tall and strong from working the fields so was able to lie my way in. I understood the men I had under me, I felt their fear, their confusion and was able to help them through it all.
This small peaceful interlude, yes I know a strange thing to call war but for me it was, ended abruptly when I met Maria and her friends. We had just escorted a group of women and children to safety and I'd sent the men back to the headquarters staying on just long enough to pick up new orders and letters from home for the men then set off back, expecting to catch up with my men in a few hours. Instead I encountered a small group of women and thinking they must be stragglers from our convoy I stopped to find out what had happened, that was the biggest mistake of my young life. I had no idea these beautiful pale skinned young women were anything other than they appeared and I found out too late I was wrong as Maria the leader of the group attacked biting me in the throat and starting the chain reaction which would end with my transformation into a vampire. The transformation was torture as my body burned for the next three days destroying my human tissues as it did so.
When I became aware again I was a blood crazed violent creature, a monster who was ruled by his creator. Maria taught me how to ease my thirsts, firstly by killing and draining humans and then by taking me to her bed. I was her right hand, training and disciplining her army of newborns that I created. During all these years I felt every pain, every fear of both the humans I killed and those I changed and ultimately killed too, just a year later. It destroyed the last of my humanity, I was taught humans were good for two things, quenching my thirst and fighting. At first I was injured myself by some of these newborns but as the years passed I became excellent at what I did, the most feared vampire involved in the southern wars. Humans would kill themselves rather than face me, vampires would run rather than fight me, I was simply the best there was, but inside I was destroying myself, there was no Jasper Whitlock any longer, only The Major, Maria's Major. If this was the only way to live I thought I would rather die myself but that wasn't an option for a vampire.
The second point of light came with Peters transformation he, like me, was running from a past he wouldn't discuss and when I saw that he was an excellent soldier I approached Maria to keep him alive at the end of his first year. She hated being told anything and I paid for raising the idea but Peter lived on and I sported a few more scars from my creator, my lover. Peter and I worked well together and Maria was satisfied. What I didn't know was that Peter had formed a relationship with one of the female newborns, a certain Charlotte. I remembered her because she had attempted to fight me when I changed her and I almost drained her instead but something about her reminded me of my mother in her early days, her courage and stubbornness. I turned a blind eye to Peter and Charlotte when I found out, they were doing no harm just helping each other to survive in our bloody and dangerous world.
When it came time to cull last years newborns Maria gave me a list of names and Charlotte's stood out among the others. Peter as my second in charge had the job of rounding up those on the list for the cull but when he saw Charlotte's name on it he begged me to spare her, knowing I couldn't disobey Maria's orders. She would soon see Charlotte was still in the compound, Maria missed nothing which is what made her such a force to be reckoned with. As the cull started I pushed Peter to one side with Charlotte and turned my back giving them a chance to escape and they took it, disappearing into the undergrowth fast as I carried on with the task at hand but maria had her spies and she soon found out what had happened. She was incandescent with rage and I was in disgrace and considerable pain for some weeks after but it had been worth it.
I felt for the first time since I became a vampire that I had done something worthwhile, something I could be proud of. After that time Maria never trusted me wholly and I was watched, her rages became a more frequent thing with me on the receiving end. If she had known that Peter came back for me on a few occasions she would have killed me herself but he was careful and skilful, begging me to join them on the outside but I had no idea how to survive outside Maria's camp. I was scared of being alone in a world I no longer had any rightful place in. I probably would have stayed with Maria for the rest of my unnatural life but the terror and pain of my victims was crushing me and I began to feel I couldn't cope much longer when I overheard her talking to my new second in command, Peters replacement Nathan. He was ambitious for my position at Maria's side and in her bed, both positions I would gratefully yield. His new orders were to kill me and I found to my amazement that I was still prepared to fight for my existence, as poor as it was.