限界
genkai | limit

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Kazehaya's not a good person.

He's a good, upstanding citizen, and would make a terrific student body president if he cared to join, but he's not a good person – not really. It's either because he thinks about locking the door of his room behind him or because he feels a very animalistic urge when he interiorizes that yes, this is his girlfriend, and yes, she is in his room, and he could actually do the things he wants to do to her – the things he imagines when it's late at night and the rest of his family is asleep.

He regrets not having cleaning it up because that's what everyone would think, but when he tries feeling guilty over having shirts thrown about all he can think about is Sawako's bare body inside one. Sawako's wide eyes are on his, her face a little pink, and he swallows, thinking about all the porn magazines he keeps stashed under his bed. Thinking about Sawako sitting on his bed, her skirt rumpled, her mouth bruised.

Shit. Okay. Okay, breathe. In, out. Great.

He's doing great (not really) at keeping a cool head when she says his name, in a tiny, sweet voice, and Kazehaya decides he's always been absolutely terrible at being a cold person, so why even bother, right – and he leans in and kisses her, his hand over hers, against the wooden floor of his bedroom. It's not enough, not really, and his stomach is fluttering and starting to constrict, despite his attempts to think of things that aren't Sawako's lips, her face, her neck, the buttons of her blouse, how they would feel between his fingers if he just –

He pulls back, face aflame. Sawako's pink, but she's smiling abashedly at him. He licks his bottom lip, their noses brushing, and then, in a decidedly thoughtless movement, he brings his free hand to her jaw, relaxing it for her, and then presses his mouth against hers again. Sawako squeaks in surprise; his stomach almost lurches in her direction and he wants it to but manages to control himself. Her tongue is warm and she's shivering under his palm, but she replies. Slowly and embarrassedly, yes, but she replies, and that's all Kazeyaha wants (for now). Her fingers tighten around his and his left hand soothes down her jaw, behind her ear, brushing back her hair.

Sawako trembles against him, with a quiet sound, and Kazehaya stops, pulling back with a sharp take of breath. His face is so hot. His stomach is so hot. Sawako opens her eyes, face red, and purses her lips like she's just put lipstick on, once, twice, thrice.

Shit, Kazehaya thinks, his left hand almost, almost gripping at her hair.

"Ah, um," she stammers, eyes avoiding his in a quick, adorable movement. She doesn't say anything else, just ducks her head. Kazehaya almost sees the steam blowing out of her ears.

"Sorry," he says, letting his hand fall. "That was—" and then he cuts himself, scratching at the nape of his neck.

"It was … nice …" Sawako murmurs, her bangs still covering her face, but he notices her ears, and they're as red as he feels. Kazeyaha almost jumps on the spot, overwhelmed by another urge to snake his arms around her waist and bring her into his lap—

"Shōta, is Sawako-chan staying for dinner?" his mother calls, from downstairs, and just like that the illusion is lost. Sawako jumps on her feet, looking alarmed – she probably needs to go home soon, too – and Kazehaya gets up and shouts a "no" after poking his head through his open door.

She doesn't let him take her home, saying it's fine, it's still soon, and she's on her merry way before he can find a way to kiss her goodbye without his family witnessing it.

Slumping on his bed, feeling tired and energetic at the same time, Kazehaya throws an arm over his eyes, biting down on his lip, picturing things very detrimental to his health.

Definitely not a good person, he thinks, replaying the sounds Sawako had made in his head.