Author's Note: Hey you guys! I had this typed up in my head but I never got a chance to actually type it, I know, that's stupid. Anyways, I love this one. This might just be my favorite fiction of mine. :) Don't mean to toot my own horn or anything. However, as always, I do hope you enjoy. :)
Love in Black and White
"What light is for lovers? I caught the queen of diamonds... I caught the queen of diamonds staring back at me."
-Chiodos
I sat there with my head in my hands on the sofa in our living room and you're across from me, head down, and looking tired and worn. I can't think straight. My head is all jumbled and incoherent. How did we get here? Did I cause this? Did I hurt the one I love? But, didn't you hurt me too in this game we call love? My mouth is dry from lack of not talking. My back is sore from being hunched over in this position for twenty minutes too long. I slowly pull my head up from the palm of my hand and look at you. You do the same. I can feel the haunting air around us. The stale air that tells us that this wasn't how things were supposed to happen between us. We weren't meant to be here in this position. We can still survive. Sometimes I know that we may feel like we're drowning, but our heads are still above the waves. I should have known the tides were getting higher... we can still survive. I know we can. We have to. Though, it wouldn't be the first time that this would happen.
I still held her gaze. My eyes met hers like it has done on so many other occasions. I scoot to the edge of my seat and can't begin to fathom how things escalated to this point. I know the trials we went through. Both bad breakups. We both suffered from heart ache. We somehow managed to pull each other back up and fix the broken pieces. Then problems came when you questioned my love for you. I don't know how you could do such a thing. I wouldn't be with you now if I didn't. Some where along the bumpy road of our relationship, I found myself asking you the same. Did you still love Duncan? Do you still love him? Then the question comes back into my mind. Do I still love Gwen? I think I can honestly say, no. No, I don't love her. So, when did all of this begin? I open my dry mouth to speak, but no words came. I closed my mouth shut and then opened it back up again to try to speak once more.
"Did I do this to us? Did I drive you away?" I asked her softly, afraid of what your answer might be. Your head snaps up and you look at me. You slowly shake your head no as you, too, scoot to the edge of your seat. You look at me with a somber expression on your face. And when you look at me like that, I know what you'll say. You say it all the time. I break into a small smile.
"Oh, sing one we know," you speak, softly with a small smile on your face. I reach over to you and softly place my right calloused hand on you small, smooth cheek and caress it. I know what you mean and it's more than reassurance. I may not be as much as a tough guy as Duncan was to you, but I can promise you this, I'll always look out for you. It's what I'll do.
I say, "oh."
And you grin too. I pull you into my arms and hold you there, close to my heart. Where you'll always remain.
"My heart is yours," I tell her softly in her ear. You nod. You whisper the same sweet nothings in my ear. "It's you that I hold onto, not Gwen. Not anyone else in this world. I promise you that. And I know that I was wrong for doubting what we have, for doubting you. But, I won't let you down," I whispered in your ear. Though, I can't shake the nagging sound in the back of my mind. It taunts me in a bitter and melancholy voice it whispers to me.
Oh, yes I will. Oh, yeah I will. Yes, I will.
I burry my face in the crook of your neck and I say a broken, "Oh," I cry, "Oh." As you run your fingers through my hair in a calming manner. I never want to let you down, ever, but I know I will. I can't help it. I know I will let you down when I let my emotions get the better of me. I know will let you down when bitter memories of Gwen and I resurface because I know I will do all those things and you will have your share too. I know this because when you're in love with someone and they love you back they have the power to break your heart, that I do know. I'm scared to hurt you. I'm scared to let you down. I don't want to you lose you. I'd do anything not to hurt you, but it hurts me more to know that I will since I have that power.
I can't shake my inner turmoil. I wish I loved you first. I wish that things can be perfect. I don't want to hurt you with the constant fear of Gwen and my love I once had for her. I'm scared for myself with your questioning love for the rebel. I pull away from our embrace and slam my lips on yours, desperately. As soon as I felt my lips against yours, with a tinge of hope.
I saw sparks.
Hey! I hope you all understood what happened. If you didn't figure it out by now, the two people are Trent and Courtney. Basically, they, in the past, have been having problems with each other dealing with their past loves. Due to those problems, the two find themselves questioning each others love for one another. Trent is feeling like he caused this, but we all know that Trent is one for thinking of too many things at one time and over thinking them. So he asks Courtney did he cause the this part in their relationship and tells him no. But he still can't shake the feeling in the back of his mind that he did cause this and he will continue to let her down. So he breaks down, mentally. He doesn't want to hurt her, but he know he will because you sometimes hurt the ones you love. Though, in the end, the kiss leaves him feeling sparks. That tinge of hope is telling him that it will be okay.
So voila! There you go. :) I hope you all enjoyed it, I'm starting to doubt it's greatness (-_-"), but oh, well. And if you're feeling generous, review!
