Antonio is sitting at the kitchen table on the phone with Feliciano. Lovino is not to be home for another half hour or so. When Lovino walks in from work, he enters unnoticed. He was also early getting home, so Antonio wasn't expecting him yet.
"Which one should I get him? What kind do you think he would like?" Antonio asks into the phone.
"Feliciano what should I do, it's getting closer every day. I need to tell him and ask if it's okay, but can't if I'm not prepared." Antonio says, "oh, okay, yeah I will… yeah um I don't know yet. Okay bye see you later."
Lovino hears Antonio talking in the kitchen but thinks no one else was home since Antonio usually told him things like this.
"Who was that?" Lovino asks startling Antonio, causing him to jump and turn around simultaneously, since Lovino walked into the kitchen unusually quiet. From what I heard, it sounded like he has something to ask of me or for me to do. He said he needed to be prepared, but for what? Is… is he thinking of breaking up with? Why? What for? Is it my temper? My attitude? Has he fallen out of love with me and with someone else?
While these thoughts run through Lovino's brain Antonio is taking a while to come back to reality. Antonio, finally back down to Earth, answers quickly, "Huh. Oh, on the phone." Lovino nods. "Well that was Feliciano and-" Lovino stops him with a small quiet voice before he could finish.
"You l-like Feli more than me. You don't love me anymore because Feli is more likeable"
What brought this on? I didn't do anything suspicious. What have I done to lead to this type of misunderstanding? Antonio asked himself. "No, I don't Lovi. How could I like your brother when I have you instead? Even if I did like him, he has Ludwig so he'd never look at me anyways."
Shock, confusion, and bewilderment are easily sketched on his face but there is another emotion there and it looks like hurt or… betrayal.
Oh, he is taking that as some sort of confession to liking Feliciano. "Lovi you know I didn't mean it like that. Don't take it the wrong way. You know I love you."
"How? How do I know that? How do I know that this isn't some game you've been playing with me? You take everything as a joke and you're so carefree I don't know whether anything you say to me is real or not anymore." Lovino looks close to tears.
"Lovi. You know-"
Lovino cuts him off with, "Do not call me that!" he expresses angrily.
Antonio looks at him, "Lovino please, what are you trying to say to me about your brother?"
"What I am trying to say is that you love him, not me," Lovino is very close to shouting, although he whispers, "Because I'm… n-not love-able."
"Yes you are. How are you not, Lovino? You're ador- er well you are bea- well" Antonio is trying to say these things without Lovino getting mad. How can I say this without making him angrier with me than he already is? Antonio thinks to himself and leaves Lovino alone in the dark, guessing at what it is Antonio is going to say.
See, you idiot, trying to make up cover stories and lies on how you love me when you clearly don't. Lovino thinks to himself while Antonio is configuring the best way of stating his feelings for him. "See you don't love me. You can't even think up of a good lie to tel-" Antonio cuts him off abruptly.
"What are you talking about? I am trying to think of a way to tell you that you are cute, adorable, my darling angel, the love of my life, my only reason to live, and how I don't remember how I lived before I met you. Don't you understand? We have been together for five and a half years if I didn't love you, don't you think I would have left? " Lovino can feel his face burning up, so he looks down to conceal the flush of redden color creeping its way on his face.
"Stop lying to me." Lovino is caught off guard, because his head is facing the ground, when Antonio pulls him in a giant bear hug and is squeezing him tightly in case he runs away.
"It is the truth. Why would I ever lie to you unless it was to protect you from harm's way?" Antonio questions but asked it more like a statement than a question.
"Then what were you doing on the phone with Feli when I came home?" Lovino asks trying to hide his tears and shaken voice from him as he hides his face in Antonio's clothes, still looking down at what is now their feet.
So that is what this is about. Wait, just how much of my conversation with Feliciano did he hear? Antonio looks down at Lovino with worry and asks "Lovino, how" he stutters now very worried that his secret is discovered. "How much of the conversation did you hear?"
"What do you mean, 'how much did I hear'? Answer my question first!" Lovino is not patient anymore with the thought of Antonio cheating on him stuck in his head.
"Oh…um… the one question that you asked about what I wanted with Feliciano…on the phone, right is it that one?" Great, what do I tell him, what do I do? What can I say that won't give it away? Antonio thinks to himself silently panicking without showing it on his face.
"Yes. That one." Lovino responds slightly irritated with his games by now.
"Oh, it was going to be a surprise, but I was on the phone with Feliciano earlier when you walked in through the door, about ten minutes ago because," Goodness just say it already you idiotic bastard. Lovino thinks while Antonio starts rambling. "Because I didn't know what to get you for your birthday this year and so I asked Feliciano for help, but then you caught me, so the present will still be a surprise cause I will, absolutely not, tell you what it is until you open it on your birthday in two weeks. And I don't know what to get so I thought I would ask early, and decide, depending on what Feliciano suggests." Antonio explained.
"Oh. Well you could have just asked me for ideas beca-"
"No I couldn't, because I want it to be a surprise and if I asked you for ideas then you would sorta know what I would be getting you. Weren't you listening?" Antonio clarified, and continued. "I mean, I know that we have been going out for at least five and a half years but I'm still nervous that what I get you, you won't like it and you'll get mad about it and le-" Antonio stopped.Wait. What on earth am I saying? He wouldn't leave due to something as minor as that. At least I don't think he would. But, I never know with him, since he is always mad at me for any reason that enters his mind.
"I will get mad and what?" Lovino demanded.
Oh shit. What will he think if I answer him truthfully? That I have no trust in him even after six and a half years of knowing him? Or that I… expect him to… leave?
"That you'll leave me alone…by myself." Antonio says hesitantly, instantly regretting it.
Lovino tries not to let the astonishment he feels show on his face. He fails. After about a minute or two, he finally speaks obviously shaken "So" a lengthy pause, "you think that… I would…I would leave you…over something so trivial…such as not liking a gift you got me." Lovino is clearly not taking what Antonio just said well.
"Uh Lovino. Um it's getting late let's go to bed and we can finish this in the morning. Is that okay?"
"Antonio" Antonio can tell from his voice that this is not going to be good. "How could you think that of me? I wouldn't leave purposely," Lovino starts to back up towards the door, while saying, "but I may now."
Antonio finally registers what is happening and chases Lovino towards the door, barely making it there in time to stop the door, closing it all the way, and hugging Lovino to keep him near himself.
Antonio approaches the words he would say, carefully, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" he whispered softly and full of truth, "I didn't mean for this to happen. I don't want us to fight any longer tonight so if you forgive me, we can go to sleep, or if you don't you can keep the bedroom and I'll sleep on the couch or the guest room." He states hoping for the first but would comply with either, depending on what Lovino said.
"I don't forgive you, but … you" he paused again, "can sleep in the bedroom too if you want."
Fortunately, it looks like he will forgive me.