A/N We do not own NCIS or Tiva or anything else you may recognize... Enjoy & please review! :-)
Chapter 1
There comes a time in every person's life when they have to concede that their dreams will never happen. That the almost attainable will never be attained. What was once within arms reach will never be touched again.
These thoughts came crashing down on Tony everytime he looked at the desk across from his dreams were starting to turn into could always count on his sleep to keep her with him. Flashes of moments, memories of touches, they helped to keep her somehow close. Now it was all the stuff of nightmares. Now he tried not to sleep.
His were now his worst fears come to life. Sometimes he found her dead body. Sometimes he was helpless to do anything, but watch her die. The worst one of all, the one that happened last night, was hearing her screams, and not beng able to find her.
He sat at his desk andturned on his computer. It was five a.m. What did it matter? He opened a case file and tried to numb his heart and blank out his mind. He glanced at thedesk across from him. How many agents had they sent in to assist and temp for the team? Like thirty?
How was he supposed to move on? How was he supposed to move forward? She'd been right there. RIGHT THERE! For eight years and he had done nothing! Everyone and everything he had ever wanted or loved had been ripped away from him! He was so fed up with feeling like this!
"Hey, Tony."
He watched McGee set his stuff by his desk. Was it seven already?
"Your here early," McGee mentioned thoughtfully.
Truthfully, Tony had been arriving to work earlier and earlier, partly because he was avoiding his nightmares.
"Yeah, well, the cases won't solve themselves," He bit back roughly.
McGee sat silently and turned on his monitor. They both worked in silence until Gibbs arrived. He walked in silently without so much as a grunt. Tony looked at him. He had his same stoic expression, but the lines were deeper, his brow furrowed tighter, and his eyes were filled with caution. He looked up as if sensing Tony's stare. His eyes were apologetic. Something had happened.
"Something on your mind, boss?"
Gibbs cleared his throat and stood.
"We need to talk."
"Ok?"
"My office."
Tony followed Gibbs to the elevator. The doors closed and silence followed.
"Boss?" Tony tried.
"You and I have experienced some pretty serious stuff together. We've weathered some nasty storms. Regardless of the jokes and sarcastic comments, I know you've felt some violent blows. Yet, you've always trusted me,and stuck by me."
Tony stared in awe. This was definitely an out of body experience. What was coming?
"So has McGee, Boss."
Gibbs was silent again. What could be so hard to say?
"I'm sorry, DiNozzo," Tony's eyes widened," I never meant for any of this to happen. I just wanted to warn you. Vance is planning on filling the spot permanently."
Tony clenched his jaw.
"But, boss..."
"I know," Gibbs interupted, "I tried. But the fact remains, we're one short. The spot has to be filled. He tells me he's held off for as long as he can."
"SO WE'RE JUST GOING TO THROW SOMBODY IN THERE?! JUST LIKE THAT? PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED?" Tony exploded.
"DiNozzo," Gibbs barked sternly.
"Eight damn years!" Tony whispered, "Eight. She took the flack for getting his revenge, and he just wants to replace her, for screwing the agency name!"
"Tony!" Gibbs hissed.
"Its the truth."
"He's given us a year."
DiNozzo stared straight ahead and Gibbs watched his face harden.
"Be careful," he warned Tony, "She's here."
Just like that. Tony felt his heart grow so numb, he almost felt nothing.
Almost.
"She my new partner?" Tony strained as he pressed the 'on' button.
"Yes," Gibbs answered quietly.
He nodded and exited the elevator. Upon returning to his desk. He noticed a slender woman standing by Ziva's desk. She had dark hair, an olive skin-tone, and a worried expression.
"Agent DiNozzo?"
The accent made Tony pause.
"Taia Haseed. Israeli Intelligence."
Tony grabbed his stress football, and squeezed it.
"Anthony DiNozzo."
"I noticed the Israeli flag in your cup holder. You are loyal to Israel?" She tried.
" In a way," He said curtly and turned away.
"Look, Agent DiNozzo, I am just as pissed about this situation as you are. I know none of you want me here. Believe me, I was warned. But, I'm here, and I'm your partner, so please…"
Tony stood to his full height, and glared.
"Your sitting in my partner's desk, Agent Haseed. That doesn't make you my partner. That makes you back up. Lets be clear on one thing, you have big shoes to fill. Why don't you focus on that, and stop worrying about manners."
Tony sat back down feeling a little vindicated. He just wished the emptiness would go away. She was out of reach and sooner or later, he would have to face that fact.
A/N Chapter 2 coming soon!