A/N: This fic is a prize to a follower that won a giveaway! They requested a fic about Hajime and Mikan, post DR2. Which I was more than happy to write about. So I hope this exploration of the Ultimate Nurse is acceptable to you. Enjoy, my readers!
The Future: Mikan edition
If you just do it, everything's going to turn out okay.
Those were words that Hajime remembered, but for the life of him he couldn't remember where he heard them from. But on some days, they were the only thing that kept Hajime going.
Since escaping the virtual Jabberwock Island, Hajime, Sonia, Kazuichi, Akane, and Fuyuhiko stayed on the real Jabberwock Island to wait for their dead classmates to wake up.
It was like waiting for a miracle, but they were willing to wait. It was all they could do, besides look at their own bodies to see the scars from their time as Remnants of Despair- Fuyuhiko's missing eye, Akane's emaciated state, and so on.
They waited for a miracle, and eventually, one happened- Teruteru Hanamura and "Byakuya Togami" opened their eyes. It was something that he would never admit out loud, but Hajime was relieved to hear Teruteru makes perverted comments about finally feeling stiff and warm.
"Byakuya", or rather the Impostor, immediately resumed his former position as the leader, drawing up shift schedules and meal times. Fuyuhiko grumbled about it, but everyone decided to was easier to go along with it.
In retrospect, Hajime should have known that it wouldn't always go as smoothly as that- the first big reality check was when Peko and Mahiru woke up next. Fuyuhiko immediately made his way to Peko, and the two of them refused to leave each other's side from that point on.
However, the normally forceful Mahiru was distressingly quiet, and Hajime could catch her sending sullen glares at Peko and Fuyuhiko. No matter how many times he asked her about it, Mahiru refused to talk about what she was feeling. She spent most of her time sitting with her knees drawn up to her face, lost in her thoughts.
But if that situation was complicated, that was nothing compared to what happened next: Ibuki woke up next, with only half the energy she usually had. Hiyoko followed, and she flatly refused to speak to anyone besides Mahiru. Then Mikan woke up, and the first thing she tried do was bite her own tongue off.
That was the situation that Hajime found himself in today. Mikan had immediately been restrained, and while the rest of the students took turns watching Mikan, it seemed like no one really wanted to watch her. Something about that seemed enormously unfair to Hajime, but he couldn't quite put his finger on why.
When it came time for Hajime's shift, he made his way to where Mikan was being kept. As soon as he entered the room, he lay eyes on the girl formerly known as the Ultimate Nurse.
"So you've come to torment me again? You must really hate me," Mikan said, giggling. Her pale face was half-hidden behind her stringy black hair. "That's not a surprise, though. After all, everyone hates me."
"I don't hate you, Mikan!" Even still, Hajime couldn't figure just what he felt towards the nurse. "Here, you need to eat."
Hajime had a tray of basic food with him- a ham sandwich and a carton of milk. Mikan's arms and legs were tied up, much like Nagito once upon a time. So Hajime took the sandwich and tried to feed it to Mikan.
"Why… why are you doing this? Why can't you just let me die?!" Mikan yelled, her mood swinging abruptly. "Please let me die! Please let me-"
"Mikan!" Unable to help himself, Hajime grasped her by the shoulders and shook her. Hajime immediately wished he could take it back.
Mikan's mood shifted again, and she hung her head. "You're being so mean to me, Hajime! You're always so… mean to me… everyone's always so mean…"
Hajime sighed, sitting down in front of Mikan. No one was entirely sure why out of everyone that had awaken so far, she was the only one so deep in her personality as Ultimate Despair. Hiyoko even suggested that someone kill Mikan before she killed again, but thankfully no one else agreed.
"Why are you so convinced that we hate you?" This was something that Hajime always wanted to ask, but never got a chance. Even from the very beginning of the Killing Game, Mikan seemed to believe that everyone hated her.
"Because you do! I can see it in your eyes… you all think I'm a waste of space… you think I should just disappear!" Mikan's words were belied by the crazed grin on her face. "I want to disappear! I want to sink into the depths of despair!"
"I'm not going to let you to disappear! I don't know what Junko told you, but you're not a waste of space," Hajime said firmly. "You are one of our classmates. You matter to us!"
For a moment, Mikan's expression went completely blank. Then, an anxious, fearful expression came over her face. The same kind that Hajime saw on her at the start of the Killing Game.
"Then why did… no one save me? Why did none of you… ever help me?" Mikan, asked, tears forming in her eyes.
Hajime found that he couldn't answer that.
Sighing to himself, Hajime sat down in the cafeteria that had been set up at Jabberwock island. Immediately, he wolfed down the food in front of him- all meals were prepared by Teruteru, and as much of a massive pervert he was his culinary skills were without compare.
"Wow! If Ibuki didn't know any better, she'd think that you've been trapped on a deserted island up until now!"
"You say that every time," Hajime deadpanned as the musician sat herself at the same table. "But how are you, Ibuki?"
"Ibuki was in the middle of making some tunes!" Ibuki exclaimed. "With titles like 'Trapped in an endless summer' and 'Screaming as loud as you can and no one can hear you'!"
Hajime took a moment to process Ibuki's… unique naming conventions. There was something that he needed to talk to her about. "So, Ibuki… if it's not too much trouble, can you tell me what you think about Mikan?"
Immediately, Ibuki's energy took a significant dip. "So did you hear about what Kazuichi did? He tried to invent binoculars that could see through walls! Ibuki thinks it's because Sonia's room is across from him!"
"So in other words, you don't want to talk about it." Hajime could understand that. But he needed some kind of help for what they were going to do with the nurse.
"It is understandable that you cannot speak of it. However, it must be faced eventually."
Sonia spoke these words as she sat herself down with Hajime and Ibuki.
"Hello, Sonia! Are you here to bring a regal presence to this table? Or a presence of doom and gloom?" Ibuki asked.
"I do not believe I am here to do either," Sonia said. She turned towards Hajime. "Was there a reason that you were asking about Mikan?"
"Because I went to visit her earlier," Hajime said, poking his plate with a fork. "And she's still convinced that everyone hates her. I don't know what to do to convince her otherwise."
"I see. That is indeed a difficult problem," Sonia said. "I suspect that the problem partially lies in Mikan's past prior to her arrival at Hope's Peak. From what little I know of it, her life has always been a trial for her."
Hajime knew enough about Mikan to know that Sonia was right. Mikan's words from earlier echoed in his head: "Then why did no one… save me?"
Sonia's expression became dejected. "Then there's the reality of our lives as Ultimate Despair. It's true that Mikan killed Ibuki and Hiyoko. But when I compare that to my own actions as Ultimate Despair… I do not believe I have the right to judge her."
"Hey, this is a super dreary conversation. Maybe we can forget about it and go bug Fuyuhiko!" Ibuki cut in, looking incredibly uncomfortable.
"I apologize, Ibuki. I should have considered the fact that you were sitting with us," Sonia said, bowing her head. "We will cease this conversation, then."
Hajime didn't mind. The gears in his mind were turning, considering what her learned in this conversation. It felt like he was about to reach a solution, but was missing just a little more information. He had a feeling he knew who to talk to, too.
"Oh, hello Hajime," Mahiru said as he entered her room. "Did you need something?"
"Yes, I want to ask you about something, but you don't have to answer," Hajime said. "What do you remember about being Ultimate Despair?"
Immediately, Mahiru frowned. "Too much, perhaps. I take my photos because I want to preserve smiles, and make people smile. But what I did as Ultimate Despair… using my photos to drive so many people to despair. Cataloging the worst atrocities to spread it everywhere… it was truly awful! But why are you asking?"
"Because we're all the same!" Now Hajime realized why. He realized why he felt it was so unfair that Mikan was treated like a leper. "Every one of us… we're all Ultimate Despair! So then, why is Mikan being treated like she is?"
"So that's what this is about. It's hard to forget how she was during her class trial," Mahiru said, crossing her arms. "How she went on about how she didn't care about any of us. But thinking about it, it was the same in other trials too. Teruteru… Peko… and Nagito. All of them were willing to sacrifice everyone else."
"I remember. After all, I was the one that had to condemn them," Hajime said, clenching his fist. "But the only reason any of that happened was because of the Killing Game!"
"I think I see what you're saying. Mikan has been treated unfairly." Mahiru bit his lip, mulling over something in her head. Then it seemed like she made up her mind, because she said, "So, you wanted to know why I haven't talked to Fuyuhiko or Peko this whole time, right?"
"Yeah, I do," Hajime said, wondering why she was bringing it up now of all times. "So you finally want to talk about it?"
"Well, I know I'm supposed to be happy that no one really died, and that Peko and Fuyuhiko can be happy together," Mahiru said. "But… at the same time, I feel like it's unfair. That my 'death'… feels like it's being brushed under the rug."
Hajime remembered how Ibuki acted earlier- how just mentioning Mikan had put the musician on edge.
"At the same time, that only happened because of what I did before, when I covered up the death of Fuyuhiko's sister," Mahiru said, shaking her head. "The past can be pretty complicated. Even more complicated for Mikan, and others. So maybe… I should finally make up with them. For real this time."
Seeing that Mahiru had finally made up her mind, Hajime wanted to believe that everything would work out this time.
When it came time to feed Mikan dinner, Hajime volunteered to be the one to do it. As he entered the room, Mikan looked up at him.
"You're back. So, what new awful torture are you going to inflict on me this time?" Mikan asked, her usual crazed grin on her face.
"I'm not going to fall for it this time. I know you're in there, Mikan," Hajime said, getting down to her level. "You don't have to be scared! You can trust us!"
"You say that, but you're the only one here," Mikan pointed out. "Because everyone else hates me-!"
"That's not true!"
Sonia entered the room, her commanding voice echoing around the small space. "You are my classmate, Mikan. So I don't hate you. In fact, I want to help you find the courage to stand back up!"
"That's right, Mikan," Mahiru said, as she entered the room too. "You aren't a bad person. None of us are! So we're going to be here for you!"
I- d-don't believe you!" Yet, Mikan's voice cracked, and her persona of Ultimate Despair was falling away. Tears welled up in her eyes.
"Whenever I see a girl crying, I must make my appearance!"
Ibuki rushed into the room. Laying eyes on Mikan, she stopped for a moment, and her legs trembled. Then she steeled herself and rushed towards the nurse.
"I want to see you return to yourself! A cute girl like you is best suited by a cute smile!" Ibuki winked playfully, though her attitude was belied by the shakiness in her voice. Still, Hajime knew it must have taken incredible bravery to visit Mikan at all.
"A-all of y-you…" Mikan's eyes were wide, taking in all the people in her room.
"Don't you see, Mikan? We aren't going to give up on you. No matter what happened in the past, we can create our own future!" Hajime said firmly.
"It's true that it's not going to be easy. However, I'm confident that you'll be able to do it!" Sonia said, smiling at Mikan. " After all, if you just do it, everything going to turn out okay!"
Hajime turned towards Sonia. How did you- where did you hear that from?
But before Hajime could ask her about it, he heard a sound. The sound of someone sniffling, then hiccuping-
In the next instant, Mikan started crying. Genuine, heartrending tears fell down her face. "Y-you don't hate me. You really don't hate me! I'm… I'm so h-happy!"
From that point, everyone's attention was on Mikan. Soothing her, or wiping away her tears. Most of all, relieved that the Mikan they'd all known before was finally coming back to them.
Hajime knew that there was much more to do. Other students hadn't approached Mikan yet, but especially not Hiyoko. Then there were the students that were still asleep.
But this was an important step forward. At last, Mikan was taking her own first steps into a new future.
A/N: Is it just me? Or is Mikan depicted unfairly by the fandom when you consider that almost the entire cast was Ultimate Despair? That was what I wanted to address in the one-shot. Nothing is ever simple or easy in matters like these. I hope I at least offered a new perspective. See you next time! Please review.