I'm sat here thinking about how stupid I've been. I'm just laying on my bed with my head resting on the pillow that still smells like him, even if it is just faintly now. Why did I ever take this job? See me and Gerry were together and had been for a while but I was beginning to worry about how close we were getting and where it was going. Then Strickland offered me promotion and I took it, but it wasn't just to a different department it was in a different building all together. Anyway me and Gerry had an argument about it and split up. Now I'm sat here crying as I realize what a big mistake I've made. I need him here, he used to wipe my tears away as they fell now they're just falling onto the pillow.

I don't even feel normal anymore, it's like Gerry had became part of me, and a part of me I couldn't live without. It's strange not seeing his face everyday when before he never left my side. It's strange not hearing his annoyingly cute accent telling me how much he loves more or just being annoying. I hate my new job too, nothing compares to UCOS and the bond we all had there. And mostly Gerry being there to protect me from any possible dangers, even though I pretended to be annoyed at the time it's one of the biggest things I miss. I miss him. What's even going on, I've never felt like this before. Never have I felt anything like this about a man. Apart from my dad I'd never even cried over a man but here I am crying my eyes out. I need him.

Anything I do just reminds me of something we did together. My bed still smells of him and I refuse to sleep on what I consider his side. The TV is still full of programs he recorded. The fridge is still full of ingredients he bought that I haven't had the heart to remove yet and random cooking equipment that I won't ever know it's uses.. My bedroom is still full of his clothes after we'd decided he may as well move some clothes into mine so when we woke up he didn't have to go home. There isn't anything that doesn't remind me. I need him here because I don't know how to live without him anymore. I'm a mess.

I can't go any longer without seeing him, my mind is made up. I grab my car keys and head out to the car knowing that he wouldn't appreciate this but it needed to happen. We were made for each other, I know it and me feeling like this proves it.

"Gerry?" I manage to get out as I reach the door to the UCOS office. I've been gone a couple of weeks and already the office has changed quite considerably and there is a new officer in charge.

"Who's this?" The new officer asks Gerry.

"This is DSI Pullman guv." It made me feel all sick inside hearing him call someone else 'guv'.

"We need to talk Gerry." I tell him.

"Do we?" He replies stubbornly.

"Yes. Come out into the hall." As tears threaten to fall I step outside the door and to my amazement he follows.

"What do you want Sandra?"

"I miss you. My life isn't the same without you. I need you, I can't go on without you. You're a part of me now. I love you Gerry."

"I love you too but you decided it was over."

"Well that was my biggest mistake and you have no idea how much I regret it, just take me back, please?"

"I don't know Sandra."

"Just listen Gerry. I have been a mess without you, I sit there at night and cry into the pillow on your side of the bed because it still smells of you. You are on my mind all the time and you're the second man I've ever cried over, first being my dad. I've never felt this way before, you're a part of me that I can't live without."

"And now you understand how I feel about you Sandra. I love you so much babe. Come here." I step into his arms and reach up to kiss him.

"I love you too Gerry and I won't give up again. You and me are forever." I tell him as I rest my head on his shoulders and he just holds me.

I hope this was okay and it was one of my favorite fics to write. Reviews welcome.

Beth xx