A/N: This is my first one shot and likely my last. I'm not a huge fan of writing non-full stories, but I wanted a slight break from NTBN. This idea has been in my head for a while, and I decided to go ahead and write it out. My take on Zuko and Azula's relationship, and it is NOT ZUCEST. If you're looking for that... why?
The AU-ness is very subtle, just a slightly different version of the Agni Kai during Sozin's Comet. I'm warning you now, it is pretty sad IMO. Anyway, here it goes, hope you like it and review if you want to. I do like reviews.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff and I don't make money off of it.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Zuko POV
They say when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. This might be true, I wouldn't really know, but I hope not. Seeing a recap of every mistake I've made to this point right before I die just doesn't sound fun. How anyone can say what happens right before you die is beyond me, but what I do know, what they don't tell you, is what happens when someone close to you dies.
As I watch my sister slowly fading away, I can't stop a tear from running down my cheek, not that I really want to. I always thought that when I finally beat Azula I would be happy, but I didn't expect the price of my victory to be her life. Despite everything she has done to the world, to me, and even to herself, she is still my sister. I can't help but feel like this is all my fault, but I have no idea why. I know that I did the right thing, and Katara and I did everything we could to keep her alive. It just wasn't enough.
I vaguely notice that time seems to be at a standstill when I am suddenly shot into a slideshow of my own memories.
I remember the first time I ever saw her, my sister, like it was only yesterday. It's a memory I've never known I had; I was less than two at the time. It feels like my mind is making it up, but somehow I know that it isn't. I can see every little detail; the perfect look of contentment on her sleeping face, the loving and adoring look from my mother holding her close to her face, and even the slight glint of disappointment in my father's eyes. It's the same look he has given me so many times, and for some reason I know it's the only time that look was ever directed at Azula.
I remember exactly how confused and bewildered I was at the time, but I also remember the sudden wave of protectiveness I felt. She opened her eyes and yawned in a way that made me smile brightly. It's not a feeling I'm terribly used to, but it feels just as real as ever.
She turned her golden eyes toward me and I specifically remember the look in them. I haven't seen it since she first learned to firebend, but I know exactly what it is, what it means.
The scenes running through my mind at light speed switch to the turtleduck pond. I am sprinting toward my mother who is holding a three year old Azula. I had just done my first firebending and had immediately took off to tell my mother. I watch myself stumble and fall as I try to stop next to them and I see Azula laugh.
It's not the laugh I'm used to. It's nicer, more like a laughing with you than a laughing at you. I didn't even know Azula had one, but she had outgrown it just a few months after this little incident. I dust myself off and ignore my mother's worried questions. My face takes on a look of intense concentration, and after a horribly mangled set of firebdending stances a small flame shoots from my palm.
Azula claps as my mother smiles and embraces both of us in a group hug. I struggle to hear the conversation, but I can finally make out the voice of my mother. "Now you can always protect your little sister, Zuko. Have you told your father yet?"
"No, I wanted to tell you two first. Besides, dad is in a meeting again." Azula scrambles out of my mother's arms and awkwardly sprints toward a leaf on the ground. She picks it up and holds it to the side with a huge smile on her face.
"Hit the leaf Zuko. I bet you'we alweady good enough to hit the leaf."
I immediately smile and shoot a small burst of flame well off target that hits her leg. A look of shock passes over my face before my mother and I sprint toward Azula, who is holding her leg and trying not to cry. I get to her and fall to my knees, trying to make sure she is ok.
"I'm so sorry Azula. I didn't mean to." My mother calls for help as she begins to nurse Azula as well. I continue apologizing as fast as my mouth can form the words as my mother tries to calm both of us down. After a while she manages to stop the tears on both our faces and helps Azula to her feet. They begin to walk toward the nurse who is waiting to help Azula.
I catch up to apologize one more time, and Azula turns back with yet another smile on her face. It amazes me how much we smiled back then. She speaks in her still sloppy speech, trying not to sound too hurt. "It's okay, I know you didn't mean to. I still think you'we the best fiwebendew evew, Zuko."
The scene begins to change again, but I remember the two promises I made to myself at that moment. I promised that I would be the best firebender ever. More importantly, I promised myself that I would be the best older brother ever, and that I would always be there to protect my baby sister.
The scenes begin to go by faster and faster, to the point that I can't even tell them apart anymore. I remember the first time Azula learned to bend, just before her fourth birthday. I remember how jealous I was of all the attention she got from our father. I remember ignoring her whenever she walked past, slowly allowing my jealousy to turn us into enemies. I remember all the times she beat me, all the times I failed against her. And then I remembered the look of shock, surprise, and fear on her face as I turned her own lightning back at her.
I remember the look of pain that shoots across her face, even as I fell to the ground in pain myself. But the worst thing I remember is the promise I made all those years ago. The words I thought with so much determination then refused to leave my mind now, as I watched my sister draw her last breaths.
I will be the best older brother ever, and I will always be there to protect my baby sister.
I feel like I'm watching myself from a distance. Like this is all just another memory playing out before me. But this is the present, this is happening now and I can do nothing to stop it. I fall to my knees as tears pour down my face, grieving the sister I am about to lose.
No.
Not the sister I am about to lose, the sister I let slip away so long ago.
I will be the best older brother ever, and I will always be there to protect my baby sister.
I could've stopped it. I could have done more. I could've been there for her instead of pushing her away.
I don't even realize I'm saying these things aloud, the only one hearing them being the waterbender crying behind me.
"I should have protected you Azula. I should have protected you from dad, from the Fire Nation, from the world that twisted you into the person you became. I should have been there."
I will be the best older brother ever, and I will always be there to protect my baby sister.
"I should have been there to protect you... to protect you from yourself."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A/N: That's it. Kinda short, I know. It actually turned out better than I expected, but whatever. I hope you liked it, despite the sadness involved. In case you didn't catch it, instead of poorly redirecting the lightning up when he saved Katara, this time Zuko poorly redirected it back at Azula. That was sort of my take on the relationship between the royal siblings; I just thought that it would definitely be a regret Zuko would have if Azula had died in the end, so yeah. Review please, and thanks for taking the time to read this!