Title: All I Ever Wanted
Rating: PG13
Pairing: BJ/Hawkeye
Disclaimer: Nope...don't own anything. Don't sue...no money.
Archive: Anywhere...just let me know.
Feedback: Would be appreciated.
Summary: BJ's thoughts
A/N: Another short story from me. I'm not sure what's up with all the drabbles coming from me recently. Maybe it's a fear of fic commitment.Anyway, enjoy.
All I ever wanted was to live my life. To finish med school, get married and have children. I planned to buy a nice house in the suburbs and open my own practice. Back then, I didn't realize that wanting those things was asking too much.
All I ever wanted was to get through my time in Korea. Help the ones I could help. Save the ones I could save. Forgive myself for the ones I couldn't. And when my days were finished, to go back home to my wife and daughter. Go home to start my practice and buy that house. I know now that things aren't always so easy.
All I ever wanted was an occasional escape from this place. A friend. Someone to spend time with. Play practical jokes with. Commiserate with. Maybe have a drink or two with. What I found was you. And you became all of those things to me ... and more. You became a shelter from the storm. A stake to tie myself to when things got rough. I couldn't have survived this without you.
All I ever wanted was a moment of comfort. To know that my feelings mattered to someone. A small gesture of caring. I missed my wife and my daughter. I hated being here so much. I needed someone to hold me. To tell me I'd be okay. You reached out for me and wrapped me in your protective embrace. You made me feel safe and secure. I've kept my sanity because of you.
All I ever wanted was to feel your lips on mine. The softness of your tongue settled within my mouth. Your warm breath on my cheek. A tangle of salt and pepper hair passing between my fingers. The pounding of your heart against my chest when I pulled you closer. I never asked, but somehow you knew. I wasn't surprised. You already know me better than I know myself.
All I ever wanted was your hands on my body. Touching, teasing every inch. Your fingertips tracing soft circles over my skin until I could no longer remain in control of my senses. The feel of your strong hand wrapping tightly around my solidness - taking me out of this place. To a different plane of existence. Where pain and blood and war mean nothing.
All I ever wanted was to be inside of you. To wrap myself around you until I didn't know where I ended and you began. Losing myself within the deepest part of you. To feel your tightness, your heat, pulling the seed from my body. Your strong fingers braided through my hair. My cheek settled against your shoulder. The warmth of our sated, sweat-soaked skin pressed together as sleep came to claim us. A moment of Heaven in a place that felt like the gates of Hell.
All I ever wanted was for the war to end. For someone to tell me that it was time to go home. Back to my wife. My daughter. My home. One day, it happened. The words I'd been waiting to hear for so long - we heard them over the radio. They hold no comfort for me now as I listen to the sound of your helicopter disappear into the distance.
All I ever wanted was to be with Peg and Erin. To buy my house. To start my own practice. And now that I have those things, I've come to realize something...
The only thing I ever wanted was to spend one more day with you.
The End