Title: River Tam's diary

Disclaimer: Joss is boss & Helen Fielding is a goddess.

Notes: Taken from the beginning of BJD, and Rayneified.

Summary: I decided to continue with the Bridget Jones/ Rayne ficlets. I just could resist!

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Dairy of River Tam

Assassin & lunatic

Dec 17th 2517

Incoherent ramblings 4

Private thoughts read 26

Day's off medication 15

I resolve to be less digressive and speak in complete sentences.

Secondly, will try to abstain from reading crewmates thoughts, especially those more intimate in nature.

-Note to self, look up the proper function of bondage.

Equally important, find a sagacious man who has no problem with a cracked girl who knows the location of all 107 vital points on the human body, and can employ a fatal strike with deadly efficacy.

-Must remember not to bring that up during dinner.

Still working on appropriate dinner conversation topics,

apparently transcription of mortality is not wildly popular.

Will not fall for any of theses attributes in the male species: Narcissist's, workaholics, commitment-phobes, mama's boys, psychopaths, megalomaniacs, or perfidious sex addicts.

Moreover, will NOT fantasize about a particular mercenary who embodies all of these things.

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