A little something that I have no idea how came in my mind. I just wanted to write it, and it got off me just like that. I cried when I re-read it. I can't believe I wrote something like this.

'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'

He sits around, just about to die on his bed, the CD player next to his bed giving him a "Why doesn't it shut up?" feeling. Just about to die from boredom.

He remembers earlier that day, when Jin gathered all of them to tell them something important. He announced his plans of withdrawing for a while, going overseas to study language at L.A. It was a shock to most of them, but not to him. Not to Kazuya. Some sleepovers the last days, either to his place or Jin's had been enough to hear him mumble stuff in his sleep. Stuff about wanting to go abroad. Stuff about wanting to feel that he grew up, stuff about a language University. But he didn't expect it to happen so quickly. Besides Jin was still and only 22. For Kazuya, being 20 as he was, it felt just as if they were too young to be thinking of it. Strange for him to think like that, yet he does. And when Akanishi announced that he decided to do so, for some reason he felt it coming. Maybe because of the sleepovers. Maybe because he knows him. Maybe because deep down he knew it would eventually come, even though he seemed to believe it wouldn't.

"But why L.A.?" he wonders, eyes closed under his arm which rests on his face. His left one is hanging from his bed, his cell phone tightly held in his fingers. He opens one eye and looks over at the world map they had stuck on the shelf with some manga at some party only for them, the KAT-TUN crew. It had been Koki's idea. They had been playing a game of luck, trying to let fate decide where they would end up when they would be Kitagawa's age. With eyes closed, they had been pointing a spot on the map. And that would be when they'd supposedly end up. Tatsuya had fallen onto France. Taguchi had ended up at the European Alps. Nakamaru had chosen Spain. Koki somehow had found himself touching Egypt. Kazuya and Jin had been the only ones who ended up in New York, of all places. And he couldn't say that one of them did it on purpose, they had blindfolded each person with a black cloth. Back then, it felt strange, how no one of them ended up in Japan. But back then, they were more carefree. They only cared about singing. Now each had started to develop other thoughts too.

And now that stupid Akanishi wanted to go overseas.

Los Angeles.

How far could it be?

Kazuya stands up and walks to the map, dragging his finger all over America. When he finds L.A., he tries to remember what the time difference was. The Pacific Ocean will be parting them, and there would be six hours forward. Meaning that when he wakes up every morning, Jin will already be in whatever University he was going into.

He stands still for some moments. The cell in his hand makes him feel it numb, but tickles in the same time. He looks at the screen and remembers his last calls and messages. They were all from and for the same person, Akanishi. And Kitagawa. And that old man arranged a press conference tomorrow, for Jin to say in public what his decision was. Kitagawa didn't want to be "blamed" for the loss of one member, even if it was only temporary. That makes him remember…Tomorrow. Tomorrow the new drama he is starring in will be broadcasted for the first time. And they won't be able to watch it together as they used to whenever one of them was like this.

He looks at the cell once again. The charm hanging from it. Akanishi had bought it for him when they were filming the scenes for Gokusen. A small smile, a small sad smile forms on his lips, and he decides to do it. He searches in his contacts, although he doesn't need to. His name is first. Akanishi Jin.

He dials the number and waits, the calling sounds being the only thing that keeps him from hearing Jin's voice.

And then he picks it up.

"Moshi moshi…"

Bored again. Didn't the guy have a whole bunch of things to do? How can he sound so…relaxed?

"Hello?" Jin speaks again. The person on the other line isn't speaking, and he waits. He drags the towel he has around his head to his neck, so for the water drops falling from his hair not to wet his shirt. "Um.."

"Akanishi…" Kazuya clears his throat and finally lets out a word. He doesn't know how to continue. What had he called for? What did he want? Why had he called?

"Kazuya? Is that you?" he asks, rubbing his eye. It feels teary. Maybe a drop of soap had indeed fallen in. "Oi…"

"….Aa."

Silence again. Jin sighs.

"Um…How…how are you?"

"Eh?"

"I mean…You sounded lazy…How…How things are over there?"

"How are…messy. I just took a shower and returned to packing...You can't imagine how messy it has become, really really messy. Not like usual."

"Sounds like you."

"I guess it does." Jin murmurs, placing his cell between his chin and shoulder as he continues picking up clothes from his bed. "So, what did you want?"

"What did I want…" Kazuya murmurs. He scratches his head; wondering about how he should answer just a simple question isn't so much like him…But then again, Akanishi is going away. It is a fact. A fact that he should accept. A fact that is happening. But it feels hard for him to digest and it hurts him. "I guess…I guess you're really going, aren't you?" Crap. What did I ask that for?

"Huh?" Jin stands still for a moment. "I think you already know I do." He says, lowering his tone for some reason.

"So then….It's your decision and we…I…respect it…This doesn't mean I agree or anything, but…"

"Hey, I'm not leaving forever." Jin says, brushing back with his fingers some loose strands that fall in his eyes. "It won't last forever."

"As long as you won't be here, nothing will be the same. And it will be like an eternity…for me." Kazuya says, suddenly feeling like he should say how he feels. There. He got it off his chest.

"…" Now the silent one is Akanishi. He doesn't know how to reply to this. "Kazuya. What do you mean?"

"What do you mean 'what do I mean'? What do you understand?" Kazuya asks, laying down on his bed. The arm covers his eyes again, his limbs feeling heavy. His lids as well. He closes his eyes. "I will miss you, Akanishi."

A silent moment and the distance is here again. Not hearing his words, just his breathing, yet it feels comforting. Makes him feel safe. Reassures him. And Kazuya is the one to sigh this time.

"I will…miss you too. Kame." Jin says, the weight of departure dawning on him, his knees giving in. He falls and sits down on his heels.

"What?" Kazuya opens his eyes, the arm immediately leaving his face. "What did you call me?"

"…" he hesitates for a moment. But the word comes to his lips before he is able to stop it. "Kame."

"Man..." Kazuya brushes his fingers to his hair. "Jin, you little-" and he stops. Now it was him who called him by that name.

"You're the little one in this." Jin says, smiling. How beautiful, how sweet did his name sound when he said it. "I'll be calling you."

"Jin…"

"Mm?"

"Since you're going…Study hard and come back quickly, ne?"

"…I will." Jin said, the smile on his face being a sad one now. He could barely keep himself together, barely keep his composure. He bites his lower lip to prevent the watery words to flow out, he wants to cry.

"Uh, Jin…"

"What?" he asks, trying hard to hide the crying tone in his voice.

Kazuya doesn't know if he wants to end this here, but he still needs to. If they go on, he'll cry, and he sure doesn't need to, right now. But he feels like crying, he feels he wants to let that damn Akanishi know how desperate he feels now that he'll be leaving, he wants him to know that he will miss him badly, he wants to let him know that he will suffer as long as he will be away. But he does nothing. He does nothing but draws a deep breath, and steels himself to say it.

"Have a safe trip."

A distant sound comes from the other line, a sound as if Jin is coughing. He hears a faint "dammit" and realization somehow hits him; Jin is crying too.

"Oi…" he says. "Akanishi! Keep yourself together!"

"I can't! Dammit, I'll so be missing you over there, Kazuya!"

"Mail me."

"Huh?"

"Mail me every day. And I'll mail you back. I'll even call you if you want. Just know that you'll be six hours forward."

"Kazuya…" Jin says, his voice trembling. "I…"

"Don' say it!" Kazuya whispered. "Don't say it, not now. Not now that you're leaving. I want you to tell me face to face when you'll come back. I…will be waiting."

And Jin smiles, because he knows that this isn't a warning, it's a promise. He wipes the tears from his eyes and clears his throat, wanting to be able to say goodbye on a steady voice.

"I'll be back. I promise."

"Do your best."

'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'o'

Tell me what you think. Onegai desu.