Title: Snapshots
Rating: K
Summary: Rory's in labor.
Author's Note: What made me write a Lit fic after all this time?
Rory squeezes her eyes shut and tightens her grip on the sheets. She doesn't scream-she's never been a screamer-but it should be understood that she is most definitely in pain. Little grunts escape her, and she inhales sharply. She doesn't ask for his hand, but if he'd offer it, she'd take it gratefully. He's said barely anything this whole time, since she lost the ability to speak coherently. They both wish that they had some referance to fall back on besides what they've seen on television. According to the movies, she should be cursing him and blaming him, but she's not feeling angry at him at all so she doesn't know why she'd do those things. He should be petting her and telling her she's beautiful, but she's all sweaty and he knows that her hair would clump up and stay at strange angles, and she would hate that. And he knows better than to tell her she looks beautiful, because she won't believe him and it'll make her angry to think he's lying to her. So he only stands and waits, and has a little fun with the game he's playing-seeing if she'll ask for his hand or if she'll just fight it on her own.
The doctors and nurses talk amongst themselves in hushed voices, as if they don't want to disturb the silent couple. It's a stupid thing to do, really; Jess and Rory have no right to demand silence and it annoys him that they receive it anyway. It's the same all the time, the quiet that Rory and Jess engulf themselves in makes other people uncomfortable, makes them feel as if they've intruded. However it's always better than constantly being asked, are you okay, because although Jess is used to it and ignores it, Rory can't stand it (she hates the attention). He glances over and Rory is staring at nothing, scrunching her face up. She looks like she's going to cry. He puts out his hand for her, accepting that he's lost the game, and she takes it in a strong grip. It always surprises him that she's strong, since when they were younger she could barely be considered not weak. Still, she doesn't exactly hurt him.
The nurse says something and though Jess isn't paying attention, he gets that it means the baby's close to coming. He looks down, watches Rory, wishes she didn't have to go through this. Rory's very resolutely looking only at their hands, intertwined like it's any other day, and she thinks of where else they could be right now. A bookstore maybe, or the library, where she goes more often now because it's free. Jess still buys his books, but he has to because he writes in them. They tried the library thing for him, but they ended up having to buy the book for twenty-five dollars after he forgot it wasn't his and wrote all over a page. He's good at finding deals for the books he buys, though, so he doesn't feel guilty and she doesn't mind. She imagines the floor of the bookstore as the backdrop against their hands. The little patterns in the carpet that she's memorized from all the hours spent sitting on the floor. After work she takes the subway to the bookstore and that's where she waits for Jess to come, after his own job, with the car. Sometimes Jess is later than usual, and she lays on the floor and reads and waits. Jess' wedding band catches her eye. It doesn't sparkle, because it's dull now, and she wonders if it was ever shiny. The doctor tells her to push and from the way he says it, it sounds like it isn't the first time he's asked. She does, and it hurts, so she looks at their hands again and squeezes his. The new picture is of them on an airplane. She has the memory of them travelling to California, though they only held hands on one of their trips, the first one. The many times after that he was fine, surprisingly happy to be seeing his family. She thinks of plane trips they might take later, with the baby. She's sure that they'll see Jimmy and Sasha when the baby's ready to travel, but she wants to go other places, too. Jess mentioned going down to St. Augustine, and if they do that then they should take the baby to Disney World. If they fly she doesn't think she'll put the baby on her lap; that doesn't seem safe. She'd rather just put the baby in the carseat, but maybe that isn't allowed (she never sees it). It hurts really badly now, this baby trying to push its way out; she thinks maybe she won't take the baby to Disney after all.
"Ready?" the nurse asks.
"Ready?" Rory asks Jess, turning to him finally and smiling. You're beautiful, he thinks, and he's ready to say it but the grip on his hand tightens and her eyes close and the sound she makes scares him because it sounds like she's hurting so bad.
A wave of happiness and relief hits them when they hear the baby cry. "It's a girl," the doctor says. Rory can't look up right now, she's so exhausted, but she hopes Jess is counting the fingers and the toes. "Do you want to cut the cord?" she hears, and then she sees Jess in the corner of her eye, coming closer. Holding their little girl in his arms. They both hope he doesn't drop her. Jess smiles and sits on the bed next to Rory.
"Baby," she says.
Jess' smiles grows larger. "That's right, Rory," he says, talking to her like she's a child. "This here," Rory sits up and he puts the baby in her arms, "is our baby." Rory touches the little girl, hesitantly, like she thinks she's going to break her. "She's pretty," Jess comments.
He sits on the bed, one leg hanging down. As it always does, his presense makes her feel better, like him being closer to her makes everything okay (it does). She went through labor almost alone; for hours it was like he wasn't even there. It was another ten hours in her life that found her fighting by herself, without any help from Jess. Ten hours, made okay by the one minute she's in now. She and the baby are safe and protected and loved. She'll take a snapshot of this minute so she can remember it the next time she's going through something, the next time Jess is so close and so far from her. The next horrible time, that will produce the next beautiful minute.