I had this idea one of these nights when sleep evaded me, so I thought I'd give it a try. Dean's extra snarky in this fic, so I hope you guys enjoy it. It's probably only going to be a few chapters long.
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural nor its characters.
"What do you got Sam?" Dean asked his brother from the driver's seat, raising his voice loud enough to be heard over the Blue Oyster Cult jamming from the radio.
"Well, it seems that in four men in Phoenix went blind in the past week," Sam said, reaching over to turn the dial down on the radio.
"Yeah, big deal. I mean, it sucks, but there are blind people everywhere."
"Not like this they aren't," Sam said, folding the newspaper article in half. "So apparently, each man was standing outside a bar smoking a cigarette when a gorgeous blonde walked up and invited them to her house. Instead of the action they were counting on, they each walked out of there blind. They all said they were lured into some type of lair."
"And the dumb asses actually told the authorities all that?"
"Yeah. Apparently, all of them were pretty freaked after that. The doctors don't know what to think, and each man was told the same thing; there was nothing the doctor's could do because they didn't know the true cause of the blindness. They just think these guys are nuts."
"Well, hell, I would too if we didn't know any better about what was actually out there in the dark."
"Good point."
"So what do you think we're dealing with? A vengeful spirit who can't stand the cancer sticks?" Dean asked, clearly amused with himself.
"Uh, no. My best guess is that these guys were pretty accurate. The targets are all men, so my I;m thinking it's a pissed off witch who has it out for them."
The smirk was immediately wiped off Dean's face. "Aw, man, I friggin' hate witches. Why can't it be a spirit? At least we'd get to burn something."
Sam silently enjoyed Dean's discomfort while he programmed the way to Phoenix on his cell phone GPS.
Sam and Dean showed up in Phoenix the next day, and decided to interview the men who had their unfortunate encounters before making a plan of action for the witch. They pulled up to the first man's house and pulled fake ID's out of the glove box. Sam left the introductions up to Dean, since he was always better at coming up with aliases.
"Hello sir," Dean said when the man opened the door. "We're Detectives Charles and Keller. Are you Kyle Newman?"
"No, do I look blind to you? I'm his brother Ken. Come on in."
When Ken turned around, Sam punched Dean's shoulder. Dean just gave him a look, but they had been led into the living room by that point, so he couldn't retaliate.
"Kyle, these guys are here to see you. They say they're detectives. I'm going back to my room, so if you fall or stub your toe or something, let them help you."
"Alright," Kyle said loudly, then muttered jack ass under his breath. "What can I do for you?" he asked.
"We need to go over the night of your incident with you, if you wouldn't mind," Sam told him while he got situated on the couch next to Dean, who stomped on his foot.
"Alright, but I already…oh well. So I was at this bar called Hooligans, chatting it up with several different women and sucking down the Jack and coke when I went outside to have a smoke."
During the story telling, Dean was making obnoxious faces and hand gestures at Kyle, who was, of course, none the wiser.
"Well, then this hot blonde walked up and asked me if I wanted to go back to her place and have some fun. She didn't mention money or nothing, so I didn't take her for a hooker."
"And you followed this woman?" Sam cleared his throat and asked.
"I didn't end up blind from smoking. Yeah, I followed her. She said she only lived a few minutes away, so we should walk. When we got to her house, it was really…creepy. There were all kind of weird symbols on the walls and it smelled like a pig or something. I was gonna just go back to the bar, but then she took her shirt off, so of course I stayed. Then she started saying weird things, like something you hear in those scary movies, and all of a sudden, I couldn't see a thing."
Dean said nothing, for fear of bursting out into a fit of laughter at the poor man's story, so Sam told him if they found anything out, they would call. As they were walking out the front door, they heard a loud noise from inside, then a string of curses following.
"Guess he's not used to being blind," Dean said, laughing, until Sam smacked the backside of his head.
"Dude, what the hell? You hit me one more time and you're going down in this guy's front yard."
"Charles and Keller, Dean? You gave us the names of the two most famous blind people on this earth. You're lucky that Ken wasn't very bright."
"Next time you try coming up with the names then, genius. You'll find it's a lot harder than it looks."
After their slight argument, the boys visited the rest of the victim's, only to hear similar stories to Kyle's.
"You know what this means Dean?"
"Uh, watch out for bitches, I mean, witches."
"She has a type. Each of these guys hit on various women, and were drunk when she came and invited them over. Making them blind must punishment for them. You know, a 'you're a womanizer, so why don't I make it so you never see a woman again' type of thing."
"See Sammy, that's why you get paid the big bucks. So what's the plan, college boy?" Dean asked in that snarky tone of his, using one of his favorite nicknames for Sam.
"You're going to be bait. You fit her type perfectly, so that should lure her to you." Sam truly enjoyed the look that came across Dean's face as he registered what was supposed to happen.
"She's a witch, damn it. No way. You do it."
"She wouldn't come to me Dean. I don't fit the pattern. Come on; are you scared of the big bad witch?" Sam said, taunting his older brother.
"Fine," Dean said with a scowl. "Let's freaking get this over with this then. Where's this damn bar at anyway?" he asked, now in a foul mood. Sam could do nothing but enjoy the moment.
"Dean, we've gone up against some scary crap. Wendigos, vampires, killer ghosts; and you're afraid of a human witch?"
"No, I'm not afraid. Now get in the car."