Sam was sitting in his office. He felt bad. He was just staring at the door with a blank expression when suddenly a tired Red opened it.
"Oh you're here." she sighed. "Thank god." she continued and closed the door.
"Once again I have a favor to ask." she started. "I know, I ask and I ask and here I am again." she said and sat on the chair opposite to him. "Think of me as your prison psoriasis." she continued and laughed a little at herself. He looked at her in confuse but didn't say anything.
"Can I take a nap in here Sam?" she pleaded with a soft voice. "Please? That fucking Piscatella won't let me sleep and my vision is getting blurry."
He looked up and muttered:
"I'm sorry to hear that." then he looked down sadly.
"Sam what's wrong?" Red asked concerned.
He looked up at her.
"Red, when did you get here?" he asked.
"Look at me!" she ordered to him and he turned his eyes towards her. "I don't know what's going on with you but you need to get yourself together." She continued. "You hear me?" she said and reached out to take his hand. "This is no time to feel sorry for yourself. Go home, take a shower and get back here. You have a home, so it can't be that bad." Sam looked at her still confused.
"You don't get to have a crisis now!" she said sharply. "We need you, understand?"
"Okay." he said and let go of her hand. "I'll go home." he said and stood up and took a few steps. Then he sat down on the couch instead of going anywhere. Red looked at him very concerned and as she could see he was really falling apart she felt a lump in her throat and swallowed it before she spoke again.
"Oh my god Sam, what's wrong with you?" she asked softly and went to sit on the couch beside him. He didn't say anything.
"Sam, talk to me." she said as her voice broke and she couldn't help but let the tears start rolling down from her eyes. She put her arms around him and hugged him from the side. She buried her face in his shoulder and started sobbing.
"Red, why are you crying?" he asked as if he had woken up from a dream. He put a hand around her shoulders to comfort her.
"Sam, tell me what's wrong with you." she said.
"I… uh... " he started and felt tears burning in his eyes too. "um… Whitehill… I sent her to psych." he said gloomily and felt a couple of tears roll down.
"But she killed a guard. You had to. And if you hadn't they would have punished me instead, so I'm thankful you did turn her in, even if it felt bad for you." she told him still hugging him.
"But she told me about the man, she told me. And I didn't believe her. I just thought she was delusional. I suck at my job." he said with so much sadness in his voice.
"No Sam. You can't blame yourself for that. You didn't know. You don't suck at your job. I think you're the best CO here."
"I'm a worthless piece of shit." he grunted a bit angry at himself. "I couldn't even make my marriage work. Katya moved out. We're having a divorce." he continued.
"That woman was stupid." Red said. "She had no idea what a good man you are." she said and hugged him even more tight. She took a deep breath and inhaled his scent. It was a strange scent. Not the usual Sam scent she liked.
"You smell like… sea" she said.
"Yes. I walked into the sea." he said. She looked up in shock.
"With your clothes on?" she asked carefully. He nodded.
"I wasn't planning on coming back." he said and looked at Red. "But then my phone on the beach rang."
"Well, thank god for the phone." she said and burst out crying. "You stupid stupid man, how could you do such a thing?" she cried.
"I just felt like no one needed me anymore. I'm worthless."
"Bullshit!" Red snapped. "I need you!" she sobbed.
"You do?" Sam asked and felt his heart jump.
"Yes." she said and buried her face in his chest.
"I'm here now." he said comforting. "Stop crying Red."
"I haven't slept in a week, I'm a nervous wreck and the man I care about just told me he was trying to kill himself. How do you expect me to stop crying?" she snapped with her eyes flaring.
"The man I care about…" echoed in Sam's mind.
"You care?" he asked in disbelief. "But a few months ago you told me our ships passed." he said and looked at her. She didn't know what to say. She felt too vulnerable to say anything and she hated to appear weak. But she did care. She cared about him very much. And the fact that he had tried to kill himself made her heart break. She pulled herself together and looked at him sharply.
"If you ever try to do something stupid like walk into the sea again, I will kill you." she said strictly and wiped a few tears from her cheek. She leaned in closer to him and pressed her lips to his in a soft gentle kiss. Sam's heart skipped a beat. He felt like coming alive and kissed Red back. After a few seconds she broke the kiss and gave him a tiny smile.
"Sam, let me sleep for twenty minutes. Please." she pleaded and lay her head down on his lap and lifted her feet up on the sofa. "And don't go anywhere." she whispered and felt the sleep taking over her.
"Okay Red." he said and stroke her head in his lap.