Outbreak: The Musical
Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil, nor do I own the song "Bitch", by Meredith Brooks
Act I: Outbreak
Scene I: Bitch
(All the Outbreak characters are doing various things in the dining/bar area of J's Bar, aside from Yoko, who is cutting her hair in the ladies' bathroom. This is no ordinary night. Anything could happen on a night like this one. Zombies, explosions, spontaneaous song and dance? All fair game, tonight, as we will soon see...)
Will: So David, how's work treatin' ya?
David: (looks up from his glass) Some little girl lost her doll in the toilet, and I had to save it. Lucky me.
Kevin: Well, at least you saved something. All I did was hassle some kids for loitering. What happened to all the riots and bank robberies, man!
(Alyssa, meanwhile, is busy tick-ticking away at the keys on her laptop, trying to finish an editorial: "Spontaneaous Song & Dance: Something We Need to Worry About?" , when for no apparant reason, her laptop starts playing the background music to "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks.)
Kevin (Singing) : Can't get into S.T.A.R.S.
So I just spend my downtime,
Getting drunk in bars.
Jim (Singing) : Just realized my crossword puzzle book's my only friend...
(Bob falls over)
Mark (Singing) : Bawb passed out again...
(In the Ladies' Bathroom)
Yoko (Singing) : Yesterday I knew,
Who I was, but now,
Today, I have no clue...
(Back in the Bar/Dining Area)
George (Singing) : My wife just divorced me.
Will (Singing, slightly irritated) : Cindy broke another glass...
Alyssa (Singing) : (Glares at David) If you like your organs where they are, stop staring at my ass!
David: ...
Alyssa (Singing) : I'm a bitch!
Jim (Singing) : I'm a brotha!
Kevin (Singing) : I'm a cop!
David (Singing) : I'm a plumber!
Mark (Singing) : Us two work security!
George (Singing) : And I have a PhD!
Yoko (Singing) : I've been mentally scarred!
Kevin (Singing) : I can't get into S.T.A.R.S.!
All (Singing) : But we wouldn't want it any other way!
Verse 2:
Will (Singing) : Cindy's got nice eyes...
I Wonder what it'd take,
To make her spread her thighs
(Cindy gives Will an evil, angry look, and Will realizes that he said, or sang the whole thing out loud)
Will (Singing) : ... (Spots a "weird customer" as it enters the bar) Oh look a customer!
(Without hesitation, he leaps over the bar and rushes over to the zombie) Hey Bub, what brings you to my pub?
Care to drown your sorrows, or just stuff your face with grub!
(The zombie eyes Will strangely, as noone had told him, er, it that there would be a show included with dinner. After that moment of confusion, the zombie promptly begins chomping on Will's neck, as Will screams...and then sings!)
Will (Singing) : It's Undead!
And it's feeding!
And I'm hurt!
And I'm bleeding!
Pushed it out the door cuz I,
Don't really wanna die!
I'm in pain!
I need help,
But go on and save yourselves,
Because I wouldn't want it any other way!
Mark (Singing): I got Bawb!
Jim (Singing) : Blocked the door!
David: (Singing) : Found some ammo!
Cindy (Singing) : Found some more!
Kevin (Singing) : We don't have time to talk!
Alyssa (Singing) : I think I've picked the lock!
Yoko (Singing) : Time to run for your life!
George (Singing) : ...I hope they got my wife...
Yoko (Singing) : All I know is that Umbrella needs to pay...
(Door closes behind Yoko)
The Musical of Survival Horror has begun!
Author's Note: My writing for this fic is at a standstill, so, yes,ideas are very, very, verywelcome. I need a second scene, unless you're happy with this as a one-shot, which I doubt you're happy at all after reading this crap, lol
Sweetboxer