Author: IdrianWatzon
Love's Hilariousness
"Orphen, where do you propose we stay tonight?" Cleao asked, looking up from the brochure she was reading. "There's a nice hot springs a few miles up in La'Reloj, why don't we stay there?" Orphen glared at the road ahead, wishing at that moment that the trio had never stopped at the town they passed a while back. Then, Cleao would never have gotten the brochure, thus ending in them safely passing the hot springs without Cleao's knowledge of it. Screw that possibility.
"No, Cleao, we are not staying at another hot springs." He replied gruffly.
"You know, Cleao, I'm going to have to agree with Master. We stopped at a hot springs last week." Majic commented, earning a painfully evil glare from the girl.
"Why not, Orphen, we're passing right by it. And the sun is starting to set, so we'll have to stop soon anyway. Please, Orphen?"
"We do not need to stay at another hot spring." Came the answer. Cleao glared ahead at the sorcerer, slowly putting the brochure into her pack.
"It's always about you, isn't it? Orphen, Orphen, Orphen, the almighty sorcerer. Why can't you do what I want?"
"Because, Cleao, we don't need to waste our time hanging around a tub of water that just happens to be hot."
"It is not a tub of water! And it's a lot more important than just wandering around like we're always doing." Cleao fumed, crossing her arms in anger.
"Yes, and you know what's amazing? We're being trailed by three merchants that want to kill us. If you want to stay at the springs, be my guest, but I'm not getting my throat slit in the middle of the night." Orphen stated simply.
"That was your fault, Orphen! Your fault! They wouldn't want to kill a precious flower like myself anyway." Orphen stopped walking and turned to glare at her.
"I didn't do anything to those stupid merchants." He snapped.
"Oh, then who did? If I remember correctly, their stuff was practically ash when we arrived. How else would that have happened?"
"Volken did it, you stupid girl. He decided to tick me off and I lit his hair on fire."
"Thus meaning you did it."
"I didn't grab a torch and throw it at the junk those merchants were selling."
"Oh, so you're saying Volken, whose hair was on fire, was stupid enough to find a torch and throw it at the merchants instead of you?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."
"Orphen, you MORON, EITHER WAY, WE'RE BEING FRICKEN TAILED! I DO NOT WANT MY THROAT SLIT!"
"Then we keep moving." Orphen ended the conversation and turned to keep walking. Cleao gave one last glare at Orphen, sucked in a breath, and yelled out a name.
"LEKI!" Orphen flinched, turned around, and gulped. The wolven cub appeared in front of Cleao, his eyes glowing green. There was a giant explosion.
"CLEAO!" Orphen roared as he and Majic went flying through the air.
"Master, I really don't think that was a good idea..." Majic commented as he clung to Orphen's leg.
"Shut up."
-----
Cleao wrapped the towel around her wet head, satisfied that she managed to get to stay at that glorious hot springs. It wasn't as good as the last one, but how she loved soaking in the warm water, no matter how much fighting she might have to do for it. Orphen was probably off sulking somewhere, and Majic was most likely counting up their last bit of money. She had no doubt in her mind that Volken and Dorten were sure to find their way in the same direction as always. The two trolls were like leeches, but still... it probably wouldn't be the same without them around.
Even if they tried to kill the trio each time. There was some sympathy for the younger of the trolls, but Cleao wasn't attached. She sighed, putting on the clothes she'd wear to bed. Hopefully, this time she wouldn't wake up in Orphen's room. It was always so embarrassing, which was probably why she made Leki blow up the place to hide her nervousness. Cleao couldn't lead Orphen to think she was going soft either, so blowing up the place worked just fine for her.
She sighed, falling back onto the nice bed in the room. This time, they had managed to afford two rooms at the inn they were staying at, so Cleao got one all to herself, while Orphen and Majic would share. But, of course, that meant that she would be completely bored until she grew tired. Which probably wasn't going to be any time soon. Cleao laughed as Leki, her small Wolven cub jumped on her and started licking her nose.
She gave the furry creature a pat on the head before she sat up, allowing Leki enough time to jump off before she did so. Cleao stared around the small room she would be sleeping in that night. It was tiny, only the room with a bathroom attached. It was a combined bathroom, so she was going to have to share with Orphen and Majic, but that didn't matter much. So long as she had her privacy when she wanted it, she would be fine.
Across the bed, next to the door, was a small shelf of books. There was a nightstand next to her bed, with a window just above it. It was a cozy little room, and Cleao didn't regret nearly blowing up Orphen to get it. Boredom hitting her again, Cleao stood and wandered by the shelf of books, kneeling and running her finger along the bindings, trying to make out the titles on the dust. Not many people had to have looked at them, considering the dust was just awful.
Finally deciding on a thick, red book, she pulled it out and sat back on the bed. She couldn't make out the title, so she just flipped it open, skimming the pages. She realized that half of it she couldn't make out, while the rest looked to be Sorcerer Runes. At least, from the looks of it. She had seen enough Runes to know what they looked like, thank you very much. She was amazed that a Sorcerer book was in a tiny inn like the one they were staying at, though.
She set the book to the side, still open, and grabbed another off the shelf, sitting on the floor as she skimmed it as well. This was in a language she could understand. And as she continued to look at the other books, she realized that the one book she pulled out first was the only Sorcerer book. What coincidence! Pah, she decided, not bothering to put the books sprawled all over the floor away.
Sitting back on the bed, she grabbed the red book and started to look through the pages. She could make out tiny tidbits of information every now and then, but her knowledge of the Runes was very limited. Much too limited to read a whole book, let alone a chapter. So, deciding on the chapter she was to decipher, Cleao did the next best thing. She got Majic, knowing full well Orphen wasn't going to help her. And the poor apprentice groggily came, looking annoyed, but all the same capable of listening.
"What is it, Cleao?" Majic muttered, not wanting to sound too rude for fear of bringing out her wrath.
"What does this title mean?" Cleao asked, pointing to the title of the chapter she had chosen. Majic leaned down, reading the Runes before answering.
"HerunDel Day." She thought about it a moment, before nodding.
"Okay, and what's that mean?" Majic shrugged.
"I've never heard of it before." Cleao sighed, glaring at the book, "Cleao? Where did you get that book?" Majic asked.
"I found it, why?" Majic gulped.
"No reason, I just don't see why you're reading that and not the many books scattered around your room." Cleao scoffed.
"When there's only one book in Runes in your room, you come tell me why you want to read it." She replied, satisfied with her reply.
"I'm going to take a guess. You want me to help you decipher it."
"Oh, gee, thanks Majic. You're so nice, unlike that rotten sorcerer." Majic nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Okay, it says... HerunDel Day. A day of happiness for woman all around. It is a day the sorcerers created that is meant to respect the wishes of the female. In better terms, it's a lot like the ancient holiday, Valentine's Day. Only, the men must treat the woman kindly, and at the end, must present that woman with a gift." Majic sighed, glancing at Cleao.
"Oh my gosh, that sounds so romantic!" Cleao smiled brightly. "Read more!" Majic groaned.
"There's never a "please." Why can't people at least say please?"
"What was that, Majic?"
"Nothing... Anyway, HerunDel Day is celebrated on the fifth month of every year. The day the full moon is in progress." Cleao sucked in a breath happily.
"That's tomorrow!" She squealed, and Majic suddenly saw where this was going. "Go on, Majic. Go on!" Majic gulped, suddenly wishing he didn't have the talent to read Runes.
-----
"Orphen, I have a question to ask you." Cleao's voice rang out as they walked down the dirt road. They had left La'Reloj about an hour back, thus starting their journey all over again.
"What is it, Cleao?" Orphen replied, staring ahead, not daring to look back at the girl.
"Do you know what day it is?" She asked, skipping up to Orphen so that she was walking right beside him. Majic gulped, quickly pulling out a map and stuffing his face behind it. Orphen sighed, glancing at Cleao from the side.
"It's the fifth month, day 14." He stated, not wanting to know where this could possibly be going.
"And what is the moon going to be like tonight?" Cleao continued on, a grin slowly starting to spread across her face.
"Full, Cleao, full. How stupid are you?" Orphen glared at the girl.
"Exactly. Now, I have one more question for you." Orphen sighed, not saying anything. "Did you know that today is HerunDel Day?" Orphen blinked, stopping in his footsteps.
"Where's this going?" Majic shivered, hoping that Orphen wasn't going to ask how Cleao learned of this day.
"Well, in case you've forgotten, HerunDel Day is a day where the men treat the woman respectfully." She explained, acting like Orphen didn't know what HerunDel meant, when he obviously did. "That means that you have to be nice to me all day!" Cleao looked evil, despite the 'sweet' smile on her face.
"And who told you that?" Orphen muttered, giving Majic a glare.
"Nobody, I read it in a book." Cleao replied. Majic sighed, relaxing up a bit. "This book, actually." Cleao pulled out the Sorcery book, now grinning from ear to ear.
"You can't read Runes." Orphen stated, giving her a look that clearly said he wanted to know how she figured it out.
"Yes, I can't read Runes. But Majic can, so there!" Cleao grinned triumphantly while Majic flinched, looking up from the map to see Orphen's evil glare. He gulped, now sweating.
"She made me, Master. Really." He pleaded, looking desperate. Orphen's eyes narrowed before he turned back to Cleao.
"Cleao today is not the time to mess around. It's just a stupid holiday anyway." He growled out, hoping she'd forget about it. But, this was Cleao, and there was no way her mind was going to shift or sway.
"Orphen, face it, I have you and you can't get away. Holiday or not, you're listening to me. And at the end of the day, you have to give me a present. End of discussion." She clapped her hands together, pleased with her words.
"No." Orphen threw her off, and Cleao glared at him.
"No, what? Today, you have to be kind to me. You have to respect me." Orphen rolled his eyes.
"Cleao, I don't care. We're going to continue our travels like normal, so just quit with HerunDel." Cleao fumed, her hands forming into fists.
"You'd better shut up, magic-man, this is an important day." She growled.
"Cleao, why don't you shut up? Nobody wants to hear you anyway." Orphen replied back. Cleao crossed her arms, tapping her foot.
"What is it with you and having to have things always go your way?"
"Oh, don't even start." Cleao steamed, loosing her patience fast.
"Azalie, Azalie, Azalie, I remember that's all you used to talk about. HerunDel Day happened during our quest, if you don't know, and not once did you treat me any nicer. And last year, during our time with Lycoris, did you treat either of us any nicer? No! You selfish jerk." Cleao rambled on, hoping to prove her point. "HerunDel Day has happened twice during the time I've known you, and not once have you acknowledged it. You were hoping it would go on today and you wouldn't have to worry, weren't you? Then that would be three times, isn't that right, Orphen?" Cleao stopped talking, waiting for Orphen to say something.
"Cleao, do me a favor. Shut. Up. I don't care about any Sorcerer holidays. Just drop the subject."
"I will not drop the subject! You owe me. I have been kind one too many times, and I'm not going to let this day pass without you being kind at least once." Cleao stormed up to him. "You got that?"
"Cleao, drop it." Cleao shut her eyes and sucked in a breath, trying to calm herself.
"You know what? Fine. I'll forget about it. After all, a stupid, selfish Sorcerer isn't ever going to be able to be nice to someone. Especially their own partner." Cleao turned around and stormed up the road. Orphen groaned and smacked his forehead.
"Master, you really should try to be nice-" Majic was cut off when Orphen glared at him.
"Don't even start, Majic. This is your fault to begin with. You just had to go and read to her about HerunDel." Orphen started off in the direction Cleao went. Majic sighed and followed, wishing more than anything that he had nothing to do with what had just happened.
-----
"That jerk..." Cleao mumbled over and over, storming down the dirt road. It had been three hours since she had spoken to Orphen, and she wasn't about to start. She hadn't even complained about wanting to stop and rest! He was being stubborn, and she was well prepared to be stubborn back.
-----
"Stubborn brat..." Orphen growled, glaring at the girl in front of him. He wasn't that shocked that she had gotten so mad, but what really got him was that she hadn't complained yet. Majic was behind him, but that didn't change anything. Majic knew he had to be quiet or he'd get what was coming to him.
-----
"Why me..." Majic groaned, hanging his head, feeling completely powerless. Majic was treading behind them, Leki sitting on his backpack, and he too kept quiet for fear of being snapped at by his two sulking friends. He was lucky Orphen hadn't tried to kill him yet. Why, oh why did this always happen to him?
-----
Cleao sighed, glad that they had finally stopped to rest for the night. She hadn't bothered with complaining, that would give Orphen some sort of idea that he had power, and she didn't want that. She stretched, sitting down on a log. Whether Orphen liked it or not, she was not going to help with setting up camp today. It was both for revenge and her own pleasure. Revenge for Orphen's stupidity, pleasure for Orphen's soon-to-be anger. Cleao held down a grin that was about to form.
She sat there, stroking Leki's fur, as she watched Majic drop that huge backpack he was always wearing on the ground. Orphen gave her a glare, but she ignored it. After a few more minutes of watching, Cleao stood and started to wander off.
"Where do you think you're going?" Orphen asked, giving her a look as she stopped walking.
"Majic, I'm going for a walk. Could you watch Leki for me?" Majic gulped and nodded, glancing over at the Wolven cub. Leki sat on the log, licking his paw as he watched Cleao walk into the woods. Orphen made a growling sound and kept working on whatever he was currently working on. Cleao wandered about for a while, not having any clue as to where she was headed. She found a small stream and sat down on a rock by it.
She sat there for a while, just watching a water flow by. At some point, a bird landed on her head, but she didn't care. Cleao stood and walked over by a log that was positioned over the stream. The bird flew off, startled. Cleao climbed onto the log and walked across it, sitting in the middle, directly above the stream. It was about five feet wide and a foot or so deep, so if she fell, she'd be soaked.
"How boring..." She muttered, glaring at the water, not knowing what to do. Usually, she'd be complaining to Orphen at the current time, or eating some sort of strange meal. Maybe she could go back... No, she was not going to go back. Orphen was going to have to get her himself, she'd stay where she was all night if she had to. She'd gone all day without eating, she could wait all night. Even if it was a first.
Suddenly, she heard movement in the bushes and she stood, balancing herself while staring in the direction of the noise. It was probably Leki, wondering where she was. Cleao rolled her eyes when Orphen came out, glaring and muttering words under his breath. She turned to start to walk in the opposite direction, but instead slipped and fell into the stream. Water splashed up and she was soaked, just as she had known.
Cleao groaned, holding a hand up from the water to see what it had landed in. She sat in the stream, pouting, with the water nearly up to her neck. The only part of her that wasn't wet was the top of her head, but that didn't help much. She didn't bother seeing where Orphen was, instead just sitting there, hoping that there weren't any strange animals underneath her or anything. She finally glanced at Orphen's direction, noticing him not there anymore. She couldn't hold back an evil look at him just running off when she was in the middle of a stream that seemed more like a small river in her mind.
She looked up at the log when she heard another noise, and was amazed to see Orphen sitting on it, giving her a questioning look. "Don't even start." She muttered, slowly starting to stand, but her hand grabbed onto something wiggly as she touched the bottom of the stream. Slowly she lifted it out, looking at what she held. A snake, maybe a foot long, was in her hand, and Cleao gulped, making a strange squeaking sound as she threw it as fast as she could, standing quickly.
She didn't look to where it went as she tried to get out of the stream, not wanting to find another snake. She didn't like them very much and to have held one not a minute ago still creeped her out. Finally Cleao was out of the stream and was trying to get her shirt to stop sticking to her. But her shoes were gone. They were sandals that didn't hold well, so they had fallen off her feet and were washed down the stream. She heard crunching and turned to glare at Orphen.
"What? You here to gloat?" Orphen sighed, shaking his head.
"Cleao, you clumsy girl, come here." She gave him a suspicious look, but walked over nonetheless. He said some words and soon, she was dry. She pouted, wishing she had her sandals. A moment later, and she was trying to walk back towards the camp. With no shoes on, though, she was flinching with each step. Orphen rolled his eyes, walking up to her and in front of her. "Cleao, you're not going to get far like that." He stated.
"Shut up, Orphen. I don't need your help." She snapped back, taking another step and flinching as a sharp rock stabbed into the soles of her feet. Orphen turned and began walking in front of her, simply going with the idea to ignore her. He could hear Cleao's painful gasps each time she took a step, but he did what she said. He wasn't going to help.
-----
Not even five minutes after Cleao had started walking back, she had plopped down on the hard ground to pick the thorns and rocks out of her bleeding feet. Orphen had been slowly walking in front of her, probably taunting her, so he too stopped when she did. Cleao gulped and held down a gasp of pain as she dug a particularly large and sharp rock out. She now worked on getting all of the thorns out.
Finally, her feet were free of any pointed or painful objects, but Cleao hadn't gone that far. Five minutes of walking barefoot had gotten her a small amount farther into the forest. But she had been wandering for some time before, an hour at the least, so it was going to take her a while. Unless she asked him... No, she was not going to stoop down so low as to ask Orphen!
Cleao stood and began walking again, flinching and biting back the pain. Another five or ten minutes later and she was on the ground, pulling rocks painfully from the soles of her feet. It continued like this again, until Cleao gave up, hanging her head.
"Orphen..." She mumbled, glancing up as the Sorcerer turned around. "I give up." Orphen put a hand to his ear.
"What was that, Cleao? I seem to have misheard you." He stated simply. Cleao glared at him.
"You know what I said."
"Cleao, could you repeat what you said?" She hit her forehead with her palm.
"I. Give. Up." She said each word slowly. Orphen walked over to her and kneeled down, letting his magic heal her feet.
"See, was that so hard, Cleao?" He added, giving her an evil grin. Cleao crossed her arms and looked away, puffing her cheeks out in anger. Orphen sighed, reaching his gloved hand over to her face. Cleao turned red as his hand brushed across her cheek before he touched something on top of her head. "Did you know that there's some bird droppings on your head?" He asked, and Cleao suddenly turned redder.
"..." She kept silent, not wishing to embarrass herself more than she already had. Orphen was also quiet as he started to pick out the white mess that was located in Cleao's hair.
"Did you let a bird land on your head?" He asked simply, glancing down at her. Cleao's cheeks puffed out more as she sat there, wishing she had never let that stupid bird near her. Finally, Orphen seemed like he was done and Cleao started to stand. "What's your rush?" Orphen started, "Not that you'll be going anywhere fast." Cleao, now standing, tried to hit him across the head.
"Like I've said before, you have an annoying mouth that doesn't know how to shut up." She growled as he caught her fist, also getting to his feet. Orphen rolled his eyes at her comment.
"This is you who's talking? Miss 'I-talk-and-talk-and-talk-because-that's-the-only-thing-I-can-do'. Please, Cleao." Orphen snorted while Cleao tried to hit him again. He took a step back, and Cleao tripped on a root, falling forward. She collided into Orphen and they both fell back, landing with a loud thump.
Cleao turned twenty different shades of red as she tried to get off of the Sorcerer. Orphen gulped, turning a little bit pink at the position they were in. Cleao quickly got off of him and Orphen sat up. She covered her face, embarrassed. Orphen looked away, hoping his face wasn't that pink. She finally stood and stumbled towards camp, even if they still had a good distance to go.
She was going to forget that ever happened. And she wasn't going to need his help. Orphen followed her, also trying to forget that had ever happened. He stared at her feet, watching her flinch as she stepped on the ground. Another few minutes passed before Orphen caught up with her and made her stop walking by stepping in her path.
"Cleao, face it, you can't take the pain that easily." He stated, hoping he looked normal again. Cleao glared at him, forgetting the incident that had just happened.
"Excuse me? Are you implying that I'm weak? I can to take the pain!" She stubbornly started to walk around him, but Orphen stood in her way. Cleao glared at him.
"Orphen, move." Orphen acted like he hadn't heard her. Instead, he walked forward and suddenly he had picked her up and was walking in the direction of camp. Cleao turned red instantly, and started to fight against him.
"Put me down, you freak! Put me down right now!" Orphen didn't listen and continued to carry her. "I SAID PUT ME DOWN!"
-----
Majic looked up as he heard some rustling in the bushes. Soon, Orphen stepped out carrying Cleao, who looked like she was slightly wet and wearing no shoes with dried blood clumped up on her feet. One of her arms were wrapped around Orphen's neck for balance while the other just hung limp. Majic didn't even want to know what had happened. Cleao allowed Orphen to set her down on a log and heal her feet. Majic handed Cleao some water and she cleaned the blood off.
"See, that didn't turn out so bad." Orphen stated as he sat down next to the shorter girl on the log. She snorted, giving him a glare.
"You forcefully picking me up and carrying me back, against my will, is not considered pleasant." She replied, staring down at the ground now. Orphen shrugged, patting her on the head. He gave her a small grin.
"Cleao, you should learn to accept help when you need it."
"Oh, there you go again, acting all high and mighty and wise. I don't need your advice, Orphen." Cleao laughed lightly before giving him a look. Majic had already back away and was walking towards a stream he had found nearby. Leki followed, not sure if he should stay with his mistress or not.
"Oh, no, of course you don't need my advice. You're plenty smart as it is." Orphen remarked in a sarcastic tone.
"Well, at least I'm smart enough to know when something important happens. I mean, really, I should never have helped you with those artifacts. Not if you can't even be nice to me on a holiday. Let alone a Sorcerer holiday. All you had to do was be nice and then give me a small gift in retur---" Cleao was cut off as Orphen leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers awkwardly. Seconds later, he pulled back and looked away.
"There you go, Cleao, your 'gift'. Happy?" Cleao touched her lips in shock, knowing all too well that she was red in the face. And judging by Orphen's embarrassed state and the fact that he wasn't facing her, he too was blushing. Even if just a tiny bit.
"See, was that so hard, Orphen?" Cleao added quietly, carefully, using Orphen's exact words from before. Orphen glanced at her, and she couldn't hold down the smug smile that spread across her face. She was happy that such a sweet moment had passed between the two, even if she wouldn't see another for quite some time. She was happy that Orphen was who he was, however unemotional he seemed. Tiny moments like these, with Orphen, meant so much to her, and she was glad to have them. A few moments later, and Cleao opened her mouth and muttered two small words.
"Thank you."