Disclaimer: I do not own anything! Everything belongs to Justin Somper and the song used, belongs to The Script.
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"I'll be seeing you little lady..."
With that, Johnny turned and walked out of the doors of the Sanctuary. Grace just stared helplessly after him, tears running down her face, as Jonny sauntered down the path, ever closer towards his impending doom.
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I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing.
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in,
'Cause I got time, while she's got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even.
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Dust rose from beneath his feet, as he walked down the path, one foot after the other. He kept his eyes glued to the floor and his Stetson pulled low over his face. Already doubts had begun to creep into his mind, but he knew that he could never go back to his old way of 'life' at the Sanctuary. After all, hadn't he told Grace that he was "Better at being bad?" Walking back up the path now would mean utter humiliation and would show him as a man who didn't keep his word. Besides...this new Sidorio seemed interesting.
A small bolt of shock ran through him, as he realised what he had just begun to think. Grace's face flashed through his mind and he felt a rush of anger sweep through him. She would never think of him in the same light again, not after he had joined this new crew. But...he had time to think it over and she, (although he didn't like to admit to this) had the freedom of choice. She could choose to do whatever she wanted, give her friendship to whoever she wanted and to take it away just as quickly. She wasn't a Vampire...
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Her best days will be some of my worst,
She finally met a man that will put her first,
While I am wide awake, she has no trouble sleeping,
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even.
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Clearing his throat, he shoved his hands roughly in his pockets. He tried to concentrate on the situation ahead of him, and how he would deal with being part of a 'new crew', but before he could stop himself, Johnny's thoughts drifted back to Grace again. ..Of course, she will be having a rough ride, but it's nothing that she can't handle. After all, she's a tough little lady, she'll work it out I'm sure. Her life is surely going to be better than mine. After all, I've already had a shot at mine and mucked it up. His hands fumbled with a loose bit of thread in his pocket, as he tried to take his mind off of Grace. ...But then there was always Lorcan.
A small, wry smile flashed across his face. Of course he was happy for Grace. She was happy with Lorcan, he could obviously see that. She was just a good...friend to him. But he couldn't help feeling a hint of remorse as he began to think of the two of them. That could have been me...If only I hadn't...I could be standing with Grace right now. He shook his head and his hand tentatively reached up and brushed the rim of his Stetson. I would never have made a good shoulder to cry on. I would have been too selfish, too arrogant. At least Lorcan can empathise.
Frustrated, Johnny brushed a stray lock of hair out of his eyes and jammed his Stetson right over his forehead. ...I'm not going to lose sleep over this. I'm not. I am who I am, and nothing is going to change that. I am not going to start actin' like some 'good-looking' Irish boy just because...He paused as he tried to find the words that had escaped him. Just because...
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Oh cause you got his heart, and my heart and none of the pain.
Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains,
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Time seemed to slow as the realisation crept upon Johnny. I...No. I am not...In l-lo-...smitten with her! She is a real nice girl, but as a friend. As a friend...It almost hurt to put her in that light, Grace, the girl who had really cared for him and who still probably (in her heart of hearts) , still did. But he had to. After all, what use was wasting your affection on someone who would or could never return it? He took a deep breath and tried to un-jumble the thoughts that were running round his head. He had to make sense of it all...
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What am I going to do, when the best part of me was always you?