A/N:
Temari: I bet you're curious now, huh? You just have to find out what happens.
Temari: By the way, Tenten's not here right now because I have taken over her computer. Heh, heh… This'll be fun! Okay, I don't know how long till she'll be back, but I guess I might as well make the most of this. This is my moment of glory.
All right, so this is a random (but hopefully funny) story idea we came up with the other day. It was all thanks to my genius thinking. Okay, so actually it was Tenten's idea. But anyway, I think it will be good.
Oh, hey, I have this funny story to tell you about Tenten!
(Glances around) Okay. So this one time…
Oh, hi, Tenten!
And then the weasel flew out the window as Orochimaru cackled evilly and smashed Kabuto's computer with a rotten turnip.
Tenten: (reads everything) Well, I see you had some fun while I was gone.
Temari: (chuckles nervously) Yeah, well, do you want to add anything?
Tenten: And then Kabuto choked on his water and died, and I inherited everything he had. Including his shiny glasses. The end.
Temari:
:O
Tenten: I don't like Kabuto very much… Neither does Temari… But his glasses are shiny… Anyway, enjoy the story!
Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, or Robin Hood, or Bambi. But we DO own Raisin the Teddy Bear!
It was not a pleasant time at the Sand Siblings' House. All three of them had a very bad cold, and tempers (as well as temperatures) were high. Kankuro had once again used up every scrap of tissue in the house, and Gaara couldn't stop shivering. Temari had given him all of the blankets she could find. But despite looking like an overweight mummy, Gaara still wasn't warm enough.
Temari, being the oldest, was in charge of making sure her brothers would recover as best as they could, and she also had to make sure their needs were taken care of, which was very annoying.
"Temaaaarrrri," Kankuro would whine, "I neeeeeeed some aaaaapple juuuuiice."
"STOP YELLING!" Gaara would always shout back.
Sometimes Temari wanted to duct tape their mouths shut. But she resisted the urge.
Despite a pounding headache and a bad case of sniffles herself, Temari decided it was time to venture out to the store and get some survival supplies. Tissues, blankets, and medicine were at the top of her list. She almost decided to buy some nice shiny silver duct tape, but decided against it.
When she got home she found Gaara throwing pillows at Kankuro from where he was laying on the couch, still wrapped in his blankets. Kankuro had formed a pillow-fort with all the pillows Gaara had thrown at him so far, but it couldn't hold for much longer.
"I'm gone for two seconds and you're already fighting?" Temari asked.
"You were gone for two hours," Kankuro said.
Temari threw a pillow at him.
"Yay, she's on my side!" Gaara cheered.
Temari raised an eyebrow at Gaara's unusual behavior. "You guys need medicine and you need it now."
Setting her groceries down on a nearby coffee table, Temari pulled out the bottle of medicine she had purchased. "See, I got you guys some really good…" Temari squinted at the label on the shiny bottle. "What the-? I must've grabbed the wrong one."
Emblazoned across the label were the words: New and Improved Cold Medicine – It'll Cure EVERYTHING!
Temari raised an eyebrow. "Well, I guess we can try it anyway…" And if our hair falls out I'll sue this company.
Gaara took one sip of the medicine and made a face. "This stuff tastes like Kankuro's hat."
Kankuro's eyebrows rose. "How would you know what my hat tastes like?"
Gaara finished his medicine in silence.
"Gosh you're weird when you have a cold," Kankuro said, and then gulped down his medicine too. "I think it tastes good."
"It still tastes like your hat."
Kankuro and Gaara's pillow-war resumed.
Temari drank her medicine quickly and sprang forward to intervene. Before her brothers could realize what was happening, she had snatched up all of the pillows and stuffed them into the closet.
The Next Day…
"I feel like a million bucks!" Kankuro said as he arose from the couch that morning. "That medicine really worked wonders on me!" He looked at Gaara, who was still buried underneath the covers on the other couch. His eyes were wide open and his speech was muffled (only his eyes and hair were showing).
Kankuro helped Gaara out of the covers, and Gaara began taking deep breaths. "I… had to spend… all night… awake… under those… covers…" Gaara said between gasps.
"Then why didn't you get out?" Kankuro asked.
Gaara held up his arm and Kankuro realized that Gaara's wrist was handcuffed to the couch leg. "You handcuffed me last night."
"Oh yeah." Kankuro laughed. "That was funny…"
Gaara glared at him.
"I wanted to make sure you didn't steal the pillows while I was sleeping," Kankuro explained.
"Where'd you get the handcuffs from?"
"…That's for me to know and for you not to find out."
Luckily for Kankuro, Temari walked into the room at that moment.
"Good morning, guys! How are you feeling?" She smiled and stretched. "Boy, did that medicine work or what? I feel much better!"
"I feel great!" Kankuro exclaimed.
"I don't," Gaara said, holding up his arm as high as he could for Temari to see.
Temari gave Kankuro a scalding look as she walked over to free her youngest brother. "Give me the key, Kankuro, or you won't get to watch Robin Hood tonight."
Kankuro muttered something and handed the key to his sister.
Once Gaara was freed, the siblings ate breakfast and then headed off in different directions. Temari was going for a morning walk, Gaara was going to Lee's house for a visit and Kankuro was going to meet Naruto, Kiba and Choji at Ichiraku Ramen for a day with the guys (it was a day off training for everyone).
With Temari
It was a clear sunny morning and Temari decided to browse the shops of the Konoha market place. All was going quite well, when Temari saw a certain raven-haired boy just across the street at the fresh fruit stand. It was Sasuke. Temari started to walk by him, not giving much thought to the matter. But all of a sudden a strange and very random urge came over her.
It felt as though something inside her was fighting to escape.
"Hey, Sasuke! I used to like you but now I don't!" Temari blurted.
Sasuke stopped dead and glared at her in disbelief.
Horrified, Temari opened her mouth to apologize when suddenly, "But don't get me wrong, you're still cute!" came out instead. She tried again. "Very cute!"
Sasuke started backing away, eyebrow twitching.
Temari clapped her hands over her mouth in shock and ran away from the market as fast as possible. I can't believe I just did that. What's wrong with me?
With Gaara
Gaara knocked on Rock Lee's front door. Lee answered it and grinned when he saw his best friend. "Gaara! Please come in." Gaara did as Lee instructed and took a seat on Lee's couch.
"I like your couch," Gaara said. "It's soft and it reminds me of teddy bears."
Lee paused as he closed the door and glanced questioningly at Gaara.
Gaara himself had a slightly surprised look on his face.
"Um," Lee said, "Thank you?" He moved to the couch himself and sat next to Gaara. "Have you ever met Raisin?"
"No," Gaara said, trying to forget what he had just told Lee.
Lee sprang up and dashed into the other room, bringing back with him a cuddly brown teddy bear. "This is Raisin," he said. "I have had him since I was little."
Gaara raised a non-existent eyebrow.
Lee placed Raisin on the couch and gave him a small pat on the head.
Gaara stared at the small bear, and his hands began to twitch. Suddenly he reached over and picked up Raisin. He examined the bear's cute little face and said abruptly, "I used to own a teddy bear, too."
"Aw, really?"
"Yeah," Gaara said calmly, "But when I was six I turned evil and ripped his head off."
In one swift movement, Lee snatched little Raisin out of Gaara's unworthy hands and clutched the bear to his chest.
Gaara's eyes grew very large and his mouth opened and closed like a fish. Why am I telling Lee this?
With Kankuro
Kankuro, Kiba, Naruto and Choji were trying to decide what they wanted to do as Naruto noisily slurped his ramen. Kankuro wanted to go to the arcade but Kiba wanted to watch a wrestling match. Meanwhile Choji was trying to persuade them to go to a wasabi-eating contest but Naruto wanted to go on a secret mission in the forest. He neglected to mention what for.
As they debated, the boys heard giggling behind them. A cluster of five girls approached, and all four boys blushed at their beauty.
"Hi," said a blonde girl, "Can we join you?"
"Sure!" Naruto said, pulling up a chair next to him and patting it. "Right this way ladies! If the chairs run out you can take turns sitting on my lap."
"Um, no thank you," a brunette giggled.
Naruto looked crestfallen.
All at once, Naruto, Kiba and Choji began making up stories that they thought would impress these girls.
"Guess what?" Kiba said, "I had to survive on nothing but worms and tree leaves for a week when I was on a mission in the forest."
"I once ate an entire fridge full of raw eggs," Choji boasted.
"Well I can run for ten miles without breaking a sweat!" Naruto lied proudly.
"Gross, you ate worms?" one girl said.
"Raw eggs are bad for you," another stated.
"I saw you the other day," a third girl spoke up.
"You did?" Naruto asked, grinning.
"Yeah," the girl continued, "You collapsed after your eighth mile."
Everyone looked at Kankuro expectantly.
Kankuro was about to tell a whopper about how he had defeated seven S-ranked Jonin with just his pinkie and a lighted match, but instead he blurted, "I'm watching Robin Hood tonight!"
Everyone blinked.
Oh no, that's not what I meant to say! Kankuro thought in panic. But before he could stop himself he added, "The Disney version. I'm very excited."
All five girls crowded around him. "That's so sweet," one of them said, "Robin Hood is my favorite Disney movie, you know."
"Really?" Kankuro said. "Bambi is mine."
Kiba groaned and smacked his forehead. Naruto choked on his ramen.
The girls, however, sighed dreamily.
"I've never met a guy who liked Bambi before," the blonde chirped.
"Can we come watch it with you?" the girls begged all at once.
Kiba, Naruto and Choji's jaws dropped.
"Sure," Kankuro said, "I'm also making chocolate milk for the occasion. And ice cream."
Hmm, Kankuro thought as they all giggled, the truth sure is a beautiful thing. Maybe this isn't so bad after all.
With Temari
After Temari had fled the market place, she finally stopped to catch her breath in another section of the Leaf Village. A familiar voice suddenly called from behind her.
"Hey, Temari!"
Oh, no. Temari turned to see Shikamaru walking towards her. He waved.
"How's it goin'."
Temari's eyes widened. I can't talk to him! she thought. I'll say something horribly embarrassing! She clamped her hands tightly over her mouth and began backing away.
I have to get out of here.
Temari broke into a sprint and headed for home with Shikamaru right on her tail. "Wait! What's wrong?!" he called.
The words fought to escape but her hands muffled the sounds. I'll go home and lock the door and everything will be fine. I just need to outrun him! Temari spotted some large empty barrels next to a shop and quickly knocked them over. They began rolling toward Shikamaru.
"What the-?!"
Temari turned around and began to run again.
"What's the matter with you?!" Shikamaru yelled from behind her.
With Gaara
Lee, holding Raisin tightly, stared at Gaara.
Gaara took a step toward Lee, trying to explain. "My teddy bear's not dead, though," he babbled, "As a matter of fact, I have him with me! I keep him in my gourd!"
Gaara set his gourd down on the floor and reached his arm inside. "It's gotta be in here somewhere…" What's going on? I must really be scaring Lee.
Lee's eyes bugged out.
"Aha! Fouuuund it!" Gaara sang. He pulled out a sand-covered teddy bear without a head. It was ripped in several places and stuffing was protruding from its tattered neck.
Lee gasped and covered Raisin's eyes. "I invite you into my house and this is how you thank me?!" he exploded. "By scaring Raisin?!"
"I know this looks, um, kinda bad," Gaara said, studying his own teddy bear, "But if Raisin ever needs some stuffing, my teddy bear has plenty to share!" He reached inside his teddy bear and pulled out some fluff as proof. Slowly, he extended his arm and tried to hand it to Lee.
Lee rushed to his front door and opened it. "You are leaving this very instant!"
"Is this my favorite pupil I hear?" a familiar voice said. Guy-Sensei entered the house just then. "I just came by to—" His eyes landed on the decapitated bear. "RAISIN!"
"Um," Gaara quickly hid the teddy bear behind his back. "This isn't what it looks like."
This is madness! Gaara thought. Is Shukaku taking over me again? Is this punishment or something? What did I do wrong?
"I have Raisin here," Lee spoke up behind his sensei. He pointed to Gaara with his free arm. "I do not know what is wrong with him, Sensei! He came inside and started talking about his mutilated bear! Raisin is scarred for life!"
Guy-Sensei patted Raisin on the head. "Oh, poor, small, youthful Raisin," he said. He shed a tear for the little bear.
Gaara himself was almost in tears. Desperately, he tried to explain his irrational behavior. "Lee, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for all of this to…" He stared at the fluff in his hand, "…You're my best friend," he said, looking back at Lee, "And I didn't mean to scare you… or Raisin…"
Guy-Sensei cleared his throat.
"Or you, Guy-Sensei," Gaara muttered. "But Lee, you have to understand, there's no way I would ever want us to stop being friends."
Tears ran down Lee's cheeks. "I forgive you, Gaara," he said, making his way to his best friend, "And Raisin forgives you as well."
"I think this is the perfect time for a group hug," Guy-Sensei said.
"Me, too," Gaara blurted. Lee and Gaara hugged, and after a few seconds Guy joined in.
"Okay, that's enough," Gaara said.
With Temari
Shikamaru had Temari cornered next to the bookstore. Temari was still covering her mouth.
"You have to tell me what's going on with you today," Shikamaru said.
Temari shook her head. The words were still fighting to get out. She had to think of something fast, and Shikamaru was coming closer and closer.
Suddenly, an idea popped into her head. It was risky, but… it was the only way to get Shikamaru to stop chasing her and keep from saying anything at the same time.
She waited until Shikamaru was about two feet in front of her, and she lunged forward, giving him a peck on the cheek.
Shikamaru's face turned beet red, and Temari dashed off before either of them could say anything.
Two Hours Later, At the Sand Siblings' House
Temari and Gaara sat on the couch, shoulders slumped. "This was the worst day of my life," Temari said. She thought about how she was going to explain all of this to Sasuke and Shikamaru the next day.
Gaara turned to look at his sister. "Were you blurting out the truth too?"
"Yeah!" Temari said. "What do you think it—?" She stopped in mid-sentence. "Oh, my, goodness."
"What?"
"That medicine we took. It was a new brand."
Gaara picked up the bottle off the coffee table.
"They should've put a warning label or something," Temari said.
"They did," Gaara said, squinting at the back, "It's in the fine print. Very fine print. Warning: May force users to state only the truth for up to 48 hours."
"Forty-eight hours?!" Temari exploded.
"I wonder how Kankuro's day went," Gaara said. "I'll bet he comes home with a bag over his head."
Just then the door opened and Kankuro swaggered into the house. He was surrounded by a crowd of girls on either side of him. There was also a girl holding his left hand and another holding his right. Temari gasped and Gaara shuddered.
"This was the best day of my life," Kankuro said to the girls. He turned to his siblings. "Hey guys, I hope you don't mind but I invited a few friends over to watch Robin Hood with me. We might need to get some extra chairs."
The end.
A/N:
Tenten: Oh. My. Goodness. That was the funniest thing we have ever written together.
Temari: I was laughing so hard, and I loved writing another story with Raisin in it!
Tenten: Raisin belongs to us, by the way. Well, he belongs to Lee but, you know what we mean. (hugs Raisin)
Temari: Well, we hope you all enjoyed the story as much as we enjoyed writing it!
Tenten: Please read some more of our stories! (Also, if you want to read more about Raisin, he made his first appearance in If Guy-Sensei Was Hokage, which Temari and I wrote together a while ago.)
PLEASE REVIEW!