Foreword:
I just want to state upfront that I don't really enjoy writing or reading angst. There's enough of that in the real world, thank you very much. Which makes it difficult to write about the Mentalist, since the basic premise is kind of depressing. The show does have a lot of humour and romantic tension though. I just wish they would hurry up and get Red John out of the way so Jane and Lisbon can be together. This is how I might do it.
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Lisbon pushed the expensive lamb dinner around her plate, her appetite half-hearted at best. She watched her date through half-lidded eyes. He seemed to be perfectly at ease with the situation and had been completely charming and gracious all evening.
He touched her arm gently. She started, and looked around quickly to see if anyone in the restaurant noticed.
"Relax, Teresa. You've been as jumpy as a rabbit all day".
"I have not!" she objected.
He smiled condescendingly. "There's no need to be anxious, we have known each other a long time after all. This isn't much different to one of our late-night conversations at the office."
Lisbon frowned. "No, it is very different. And I think it is sensible to be a bit anxious, Jane, all things considered. This has got to be the most insane idea you've ever had."
"It can't be that insane. You did agree after all."
"Don't remind me," Lisbon groaned. She took a small bite of her dinner and tried to look as if she were enjoying herself. She was at the most expensive Moroccan restaurant in Sacramento. With the devastatingly handsome and charming Patrick Jane, no less. Other women in the restaurant were casting jealous looks in her direction. Fools.
"Have I mentioned that you look exceptionally lovely tonight, Teresa?"
"Yes. Several times in fact." Lisbon self-consciously tugged at the hem of her little black dress. It kept riding up and showing more thigh than she anticipated. The plunging neckline wasn't much better. Jane, on the other hand, looked perfectly comfortable in a black three-piece suit.
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The crazy plan had been his idea, of course. They hadn't heard a peep out of Red John since Kristina's disappearance and everyone was feeling frustrated and demoralized. Jane's bright idea was to lay a trap. If Patrick started dating someone and moving on with his life, Red John would feel obliged to ruin it for him again. Presumably by kidnapping and/or killing the romantic interest. But if she were equipped with state-of-the-art tracking and recording technology, they might have a decent chance of catching him this time.
The lucky woman Jane dated would essentially be Red John bait. He had wanted to use a young blond agent from the narcotics department. Tough and ambitious, agent Perry would have jumped at the chance to be part of such a high profile case. But Lisbon would have none of it.
"No way, Jane. You are not going to involve her in such a dangerous plan."
"But she would be perfect – she's very competent, but also single and attractive."
Lisbon glared him. "Hello, I'm single"
"Yes I know, but I couldn't possibly use you..."
"Why, because I'm not young and blond? Or do you doubt my abilities?"
"No, not at all. You're perfect." Jane gripped her arms earnestly. "But you mustn't risk yourself for me."
Lisbon pushed him away. "But you don't mind risking another agent instead? Forget it, Jane. Either you do this with me or not at all. You know I want to catch Red John almost as much as you do."
Jane came around eventually, as Lisbon knew he would. He was desperate to make some kind of progress on the case. The next step was to get senior agent Hightower to agree to the plan. It turned out to be surprisingly easy to get her co-operation, perhaps because it would be unofficial and undercover. If they caught Red John, Hightower would get the glory. If things went horribly wrong, it would be unfortunate but no-one would know it was a CBI operation. There weren't even any rules prohibiting Lisbon from dating a consultant.
A week later, Lisbon received GPS implants under her skin and state-of-the art miniature electronic devices sewn into her underwear. She felt like a pedigree pooch getting micro-chipped. Some of them would work only when activated by her; one would transmit automatically if she was not conscious to stop it. Hightower spared no expense, though the money came out of the maintenance and furniture budget to keep it secret. Lisbon resigned herself to keeping her scruffy old chair and desk for another five years.
Cho, Rigsby and Van-Pelt were also informed but they still managed to look suitably surprised when Jane appeared at work one day carrying a dozen red roses, the first stage of their supposed romance.
Lisbon smelled the subtle perfume of roses and looked up from her work in surprise. "What are those for?"
"These are for you, my dear" Jane stated the obvious. "Because you are the most amazing, gorgeous woman I know and it's time to acknowledge the fact that my feelings for you run deeper than friendship.
Though she knew he was just acting the part, Lisbon couldn't help blushing. "Stop it, Jane. You're embarrassing me." She glanced at the windows to check if anyone was watching through the blinds.
Jane perched on the edge of her desk, apparently enjoying her discomfort. "I'll leave if you agree to have dinner with me tonight."
"I thought you said you wouldn't seduce me over a meal?" she countered.
"I'm seducing you now. The meal is just a bonus" he said playfully. He reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind Lisbon's ear, and then ran his fingers gently down the side of her neck. She shivered slightly and pulled away.
"Alright, alright, I'll have dinner with you"
"Wonderful" Jane beamed and left the roses on her desk. He whistled cheerfully as he left the office
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Lisbon finished her meal and tried to relax. It was pure paranoia to assume Red John would be watching them right now, but at the same time, they couldn't assume he wasn't. The restaurant was intimately lit with shadows in every corner.
"Would you like some dessert, Teresa?" Jane pointed at the menu. "Strawberry cheesecake, perhaps?"
"Thanks Jane, but I'm kind of tired. Let's call it a night."
Jane winced and put down his napkin. "Please, Teresa. If we're going to be dating at least use my first name."
"Sorry, Patrick. Can we get out of here now?"
"Sure, if you're that anxious to get me into bed. Let's go." He grinned boldly and Lisbon had to resist the urge to slap him. But she couldn't help smiling in return.
"Bite me."
"If you like"
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Jane drove Lisbon home and walked her in the gathering darkness to the front door of her apartment. He seemed to hesitate as Lisbon unlocked the door.
"You know, we don't have to do this. If you're not sure," he said quietly.
Lisbon turned to face him. "Jane, I want to do this. I think it will work. It has to work."
A smile touched the corner of his mouth. "Patrick" he corrected.
"Whatever. Shut up and kiss me goodnight like a proper date" Lisbon commanded.
Jane obediently moved closer, a serious expression on his face. Lisbon closed her eyes and reminded herself that this was only an act, it didn't mean anything. Her heart apparently hadn't received the memo, since it was beating fast in anticipation. She felt a feather-light touch on her cheek. Her eyes flew open.
"That's not a kiss" she exclaimed.
"I didn't want to rush things" Jane said, a wounded expression on his face.
Lisbon instantly regretted complaining. She realised this must be difficult for him, even though it was just an act. He hadn't dated anyone since his wife died. "I understand," she said softly.
Lisbon turned to go inside but then Jane grasped her shoulder and pulled her into a tight embrace. She stiffened in surprise but then melted into his warm body, a welcome refuge from the chill night air. His lips pressed on hers, softly at first. She lost herself in the moment, feeling his mouth move against her own with growing urgency, the slight prickle of hair on his chin, the smooth masculine scent of his cologne.
They broke apart after a few minutes. "Do you think anyone was watching?" Lisbon whispered, glancing around at the other apartments.
"If not, there's always next time" Jane replied seriously. He was breathing heavily and Lisbon noticed she had mussed his hair somewhat.
There was an awkward pause. "So, I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow" Lisbon said finally.
"What, you're not inviting me in?" Jane said in mock disappointment.
She smacked him on the shoulder. "You wanted to take things slow, remember." She stepped into her apartment and turned to close the door. "Good night, Jane..Patrick."
"Good night Teresa."
Sleep did not come easy for Lisbon that night. Her apartment had a state-of-the-art security system including cameras, but that that was small comfort for someone aiming to be Red-John bait. She also kept replaying the kiss in her mind and felt guilty for enjoying it. Lisbon had always been a little bit attracted to Jane, who wouldn't be? It was easy to suppress those feelings when he was being a right pain-in-the-ass (which was most of the time). But when he turned on the charm he was an irresistible force of nature. She almost hoped Red John would show up soon, before things got out of hand.