Author's Note: -drops head to keyboard-

30 Ways To Make Inner Hinata Appear

1. Make her a sandwitch out of two pieces of whole wheat bread, mustard, a paper-thin sliver of turkey, and the Hyuuga's VCR.

2. Drape yourself and Kiba in Christmas lights. Run around in circles, blinking insanely.

3. Whenever you see a firefly, yell and chase it around until you catch it. Squoosh it in your hand, and than run to Hinata to show her.

4. Sing, 'The Little Old Lady From Pasadena' often. Excessively often.

5. Somehow manage to glue Neji's finger inside of her nose.

6. Laugh about it for the next year and a half.

7. Send out wedding invitations to everyone Hinata knows, declaring the happy event of her union to Gai-sensei.

8. Tie the back of her shirt to a motorcycle. Get on it, and hit the gas.

9. Get the entire Hyuuga Clan as drunk as skunks.

10. Make a suit out of cat hair, and force her into it. Jam the zipper so she can't escape.

11. Hug her.

12. Tightly.

13. Prepare a delicious, cookbook-perfect Key Lime Cheesecake. If she glances at it, screech like a siren and whack a gong against her head.

14. Fill her sock drawer with baby iguanas.

15. Hide all of the maxi pads when her time of month comes around.

16. Get Hanabi and Hiashi hooked on Lifetime Movie Network.

17. Poke her in the nose and say "Fig Newton". Do this a minimum of twenty times an hour.

18. Convince her cell to dress up as characters from 'Pride And Prejudice' for a day- without informing her.

19. Spray Shino with "Off".

20. Tape a picture of a gorilla, a newspaper clipping about halitosis, and a photo-manipulated headliner image from "The National Inquirer" to her back.

21. Ride circles around her on a bicycle, cackling.

22. Dress up as Neji, and follow her around, mocking and waggling a finger at her.

23. Screech "I'M A BIRD, I'M A BIRD!!" at 2:42 a.m every single night, without fail.

24. Bathe in your clothes, and flood the bathroom floor.

25. Pair her with Elvin ('The Cosby Show') in fan fiction.

26. Squeeze yourself into a lederhosen, and place a fedora with a huge feather on top of your head.

27. Mop the kitchen floor with muffin mix.

28. Stick her head inside of a rare, 17th century Ming dynasty blue vase.

29. Sing "Sing A Song Of Sixpence" 733,322,55,433 times in a row.

30. Loose a dozen chickens inside of the Clan's complex.

Hinata's Reaction:

"We.. Weh.. Well.. I could-… I could never.. Get mad a-at somebody.. F-for doing those things. I-I mean- Naruto-kun wouldn't- want me to.. Get.. A-a-angry at somebody.. Like that- And I.. I'm not like… Sakura-Chan. I-I don't… have.. An Inner.. Me… I'm n-not that… assertive… "

At that moment, Hyuuga Hanabi busily strolled into the room. Lavender eyes wide, the young girl strolled up to her sister, who attempted a shaky smile at her charcoal-haired family member.

Without ceremony, Hanabi rached up, pointed a single finger, and tapped the tip of Hinata's pixie nose.

"Fig Newton."

"OOOOOOHH! YOU LITTLE UNHOLY SPAWN OF THEO HUXTABLE AND A MARBLE!" the teenaged girl screamed, eyes forming pupiless white circles. "I SHOULD BEAT YOU WITH A LACROSSE STICK, AND THAN SELL YOU TO A WANDERING CULT OF VAMPIRE BATS FOR A NICKEL! I OUGHT TO PUT YOU ON ONE OF THOSE FLOOR CLEANER COMMERCIALS!! DISGUSTING DAUGHTER OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT!

Blinking innocently, Hinata could only turn toward you, dear readers, and shrug her shoulders.

"What? I hate Fig Newtons."

A/N: I don't know what is happening with the reaction pieces. I need more Coaca-Cola. Review, please.