Author's Note: Suzanne McNamara, Jethro Gibbs' romantic interest about 20 years his junior, recently shared a secret: she's never made love. Gibbs has developed strong, romantic feelings for Suzanne and agreed to wait until she was ready. The following is about the night Jethro and Suzanne share their first night together.
Suzanne McNamara was to graduate with honors from Georgetown Saturday. Her coworkers from MTAC, MCRT and NCIS planned a surprise party to celebrate the milestone. Everything was well, until her personal life intertwined with the worklife when Special Agent Jethro Gibbs requested a romantically inclined song request on the jukebox. After 9 months of dating, he decided to share the occasion with everyone. Suzanne was not ready to make their relationship public knowledge, prompting her to leave.
DC radio stations played very eclectic music during the 7 to midnight shift. It was that night DC 88 showcasedVan Morrison Live at the Belfast. Her favorite, Rave On John Donne was playing. The sensual saxophone solo that separated the reading from the singing was her favorite. It spoke to her—mysterious, uncertain to a beginning, middle or end. Suzanne loved listening to 'Van the Man.' Whenever agitated, upset about a situation, Suzanne and her trusty 1988 jeep, nicknamed 'Myrtle,' took a long ride along the GW parkway to clear her mind.
"Tonight, 'neath the silvery moon, tonight…"
A song lyric awakened her in the middle of the drive, spoke directly to her heart and gave its answer.
Suzanne sang along.
Tonight, you will understand the Oneness. Always, she loved the song but missed the true meaning.
The moon had a silvery, romantic glow. It was a slight breeze in the nighttime air.
"Tonight, let it all begin tonight…"
"You will understand...the Oneness...the Oneness...the Oneness...the Oneness..."
"I said, 'Come back, baby...can we talk it over...one more time, tonight?'" It was reminiscent of the last plead from Gibbs as she left the celebration in haste. Gibbs was ready for a serious commitment, while Suzanne, juggling law school, the bar exam, and a promising future, was open to many possibilities. The question was if she wanted to pursue a serious relationship with Gibbs. Suzanne loved Gibbs, was falling in love with him, fought admitting those feelings. She was at the finish line in regards to law school. Now, she was in love?
'Damn, Jethro...'
Suzanne picked up the telephone, glanced and noticed 4 missed calls and a message—all from Gibbs, singing her name.
"Because I love you, Suzanne..."
Only he knew the origin of her first name. Her dad was a Lou Reed fan.
She chuckled with hearing Gibbs' voice. All of surprises, she noticed a text: por favor, perdóname.
Upon hearing the message, reading the text, she left the parkway for Gibbs' house. Her headlights flashed briefly, shined on the window and into his eyes. He hoped it was her, once he heard the knocks on his door. Who else would come over at midnight and knock?
He was pleasantly surprised by the passionate kiss at his front door.
"Suzanne?" He whispered.
Gibbs pulled her inside the door, cornered her and continued kissing. Her tongue slipped inside his mouth, gently touching his upper lip.
"Susie..."
"Jethro..." Suzanne whispered, giving short kisses along his neck. Her soft hands touched his face. Gibbs closed his eyes, enjoying Suzanne's affection but caught a glance- giggling and a bit embarrassed.
"I want tonight to be our first night." She whispered.
Gibbs' hands cupped her head. Filled with emotion, he gave Suzanne a short kiss.
She's saying "yes."
"Is this what you want?" Jethro asked. Suzanne nodded.
He whispered. Jethro kissed her on the cheek, removing her glasses and tenderly stroking her face.
"You know we can wait…"
"I don't want to wait…not anymore." She was serious about the decision; the ring was missing.
Their eyes met, head met another.
"Do you want me, Suzanne?" Gibbs whispered, gently stroking Suzanne's hair.
"Yes." She quietly responded.
"Tell me you want me."
"I want you."
"Let's go upstairs." He suggested. "I promise: it will be a night to remember."
By the hand, he led her upstairs.
"Don't be shy…" Gibbs whispered. "That's all I ask of you tonight." Suzanne's hair was in a bun. With a single tug, he released her flowing brown hair.
"Gibbs, I'm just nervous." She whispered.
"I know." He kissed her forehead and smiled. "Just relax…"
Her first time…Gibbs thought. Gibbs continually looked into her eyes, assessing the situation from her expressions. She was indeed nervous; looked nervous but entranced.
A lover's duty was to provide comfort. Suzanne was sweet, soft-spoken-very soft-spoken around him. She cussed little—maybe a 'damn' or 'hell' in sheer frustration—and spoke in romantic terms, held polite conversation. He remained certain that talking sensually, when appropriate, would heighten the experience.
Suzanne, remaining shy and modest, hesitated to undress in front of him, particularly with the lights on. She leaned on the hallway wall, with Gibbs leaning towards, maybe an inch or two separating them as he moved in to kiss her. The first was short. The second was longer, more intense. Suzanne slyly slipped her tongue inside his mouth. The wet puckering sounds from their lips persuaded Gibbs to inch closer and caress her clothed body.
"Allow me..."
The shirt was easy; it slipped over head. He kneeled, kissing her stomach while unzipping her denim jeans. Suzanne stood with only her matching lingerie set. Her sighs were soft, whispers of approval. His hands worked upward and unfastened her bra. Soon, her matching boyish briefs were on the floor. Gibbs was pleasantly surprised at the curves.
"You have a beautiful body."
"Thank you." She whispered.
Gibbs explored every inch of her body with his hands and mouth. Her eyes widened in surprise when Gibbs touched, stroked…there.
"Oh, God…"
"You don't even know…how sexy you are…"
To her own surprise, she was standing in the nude. Gibbs continued his exploration with his hands. It was just a precursor to the ultimate highlight. It was at the key moment Gibbs stopped. He noticed Suzanne trembling, just right at the peak of pleasure. Gibbs kissed her belly button, still knelt. He placed a finger inside, making Suzanne moan, feeling her inner muscles grip around the finger.
"Oh, God…you are so ready…" Gibbs whispered. Suzanne, panting and moaning, nodded. His hand tweaked a sensitive button. Suzanne leaned her head back, moaned in a higher voice register. His head rested against her stomach, hands grabbed on her muscular calves.
"Jethro…please…don't…" Suzanne pleaded.
His head moved downward, kissing downward, sensually licking her stomach, cupping his hands on her buttocks. Gibbs kissed upward, finally standing upright, breathing heavily.
"Mmm...very sexy."
The two stepped inside the shower, with him standing behind. The water tapped across their bodies as Gibbs gently caressed Suzanne's exposed soapy skin, covered with telltale bumps of excitement. He playfully nibbled on her shoulders, the base of her neck. His fingers traced the outline of her face, while the free hand carefully inspected her soft body. With his hands, Gibbs turned Suzanne to face him. Her breasts pressed against his body. The two kissed wildly, with Gibbs demonstrating his passion, as if the night was the last.
Suzanne and Gibbs left the shower, with him lifting her with ease into his arms. He carried her into the dark bedroom, teasingly drying her, stroking the lower back, cupping and squeezing her bottom.
Suzanne lovingly dried Jethro with soft touches, looking deeply in his eyes. Suzanne responded by giving him passionate and longing kisses, her tongue darting inside.
"Whoa…" Gibbs panted. "We can take our time." Gibbs whispered, brushing away a stray curl.
Gibbs had a King sized bed, mused that he had "no one to share it with." His bedroom was basic—bed, a night stand and an alarm, just in case he overslept. It was comfortable and familiar.
Gibbs first placed her on the bed and stood there, admiring her in the moonlight.
"Remember? Don't be shy…" Jethro continued as he climbed into the bed. He flipped the radio switch. It was playing Tell Me What You Want. Appropriate song, Gibbs chuckled. The saxophone solo complimented the foreplay. The song intertwined a covered standard Van Morrison rerecorded: I'll Take Care of You.
He was lying on his side, reaching close by to caress Suzanne's body. The touches were teasing, tantalizing to her. Gibbs' hands were gentle.
"Tell me what you want, Suzanne." Gibbs whispered.
"I want you…" Quietly, she looked away.
"You have me."
"I want to end my curiosities." Suzanne continued. Her hands explored his broad shoulders and back.
"All you need to do is ask, Suzanne." The two chuckled. The first words they shared to with one another. Gibbs reached to kiss her, inching closer.
He turned quickly to his nightstand and grabbed a small packet.
"Responsibility…" Gibbs explained. "No condom…no sex." Quickly, he slipped the package on.
His hands caressed, finally rested on her face. He kissed her, parted her legs just slightly through caress as they slowly joined as one. Gibbs felt a slight hesitance in her body, though he placed just a portion. She gasped and rolled her eyes. It was a temporary feeling, just a sharp jab.
The sound, the look aroused Gibbs even more. He held back, growled in her ear. Gibbs tenderly kissed her forehead.
"Oh…" Suzanne moaned. He felt her back tighten.
"It's okay, baby…" He briefly kissed her lips. Gibbs gave short, softer kisses as he looked into her eyes and simply smiled. "We're going to take it slow…"
Gibbs moved slow and tender with a portion, wanting for his new lover to enjoy at her own pace. His hands rested on her hips, caressing her soft skin and pulling her closer. Gibbs felt Suzanne's heart rate rise against his chest. Her eyes rolled once Jethro was slowly entering more into her. His rhythm was gentle, as he promised. Quivering and moaning in pleasure, Suzanne wrapped her long legs around Gibbs'. She arched underneath, following the rhythm. She bit her bottom lip, breathing harder with each stroke. Gibbs uncovered one of many sensual places inside.
"You feel so good, Susie…" The bed soon creaked, vibrating the floor. There was a soft rhythmic creak for a brief moment. Suzanne's eyes widen and her moans slightly audible. Gibbs wrapped her even closer, his hands fondling all along her body.
She felt his back tighten, his pace erratic, an indication he was ready. Gibbs' moan grew louder, deeper in tone. Suzanne trembled in that moment, fearful because it was such a sensation so soon.
'Oh, God…She's scared…'
He stopped abruptly, muttering and shaking his head in disappointment. His hand, fingers traced her arm, explaining to a confused Suzanne the reason.
"Oh, too close, way too soon, Baby…" he confessed. Gibbs remained physically and emotionally aroused but also protective. He motioned for Suzanne to sit beside him, caressing her cheek.
"No sabes lo mucho que me estás excitando."-You don't know how much you turn me on- Gibbs whispered in Spanish.
Softly, Gibbs kissed her lips. He embraced her closer, feeling her breasts against his chest. His calloused hands caressed her all over.
"Tonight is about you learning the oneness." Gibbs smiled, caressing and kissing, beginning with her shoulders. His soft lips suckled on the breasts, across the collarbone and along her neck and ears.
"It's been so long since I've made love..." Gibbs whispered. "There's a difference: there's an aggressive need and an expressive need. I feel expressive with you."
The touching was reciprocal in nature. She buried her head against his chest, just nuzzling in his shoulder blade, sucking gently on his neck. Gibbs moaned, enjoying the soft touches.
"I think we're ready…" Gibbs placed another condom into Suzanne's hand, insisting to include it in the foreplay.
"Oh, I was going to ask if you needed one…" Suzanne said. "I have some in my purse…"
"Good girl." He chuckled.
Quickly unwrapping the package, Suzanne placed wet and open kisses across his mouth, briefly pausing and restarting, gently caressing his thighs, touching him more with confidence.
"Mmm…you control the rhythm…okay?" He leaned slightly, caressing Suzanne's legs as she gently placed herself on top, wrapping her long legs around his back. In time, she managed to place all of Gibbs inside. Gibbs kissed her lips, sucking her tongue inside his mouth, beginning to move slowly. The two established a slower pace. His hand caressed her inner thigh, and a finger merely glided across a little button. Their eyes met.
"Jethro…" She softly whispered. His tongue teasingly tipped inside, then out her mouth.
It was the first time she called him Jethro.
Gibbs' goal was to make Suzanne climax at least twice, if not more. He was more than willing to spend the entire night, into the morning to convey his innermost desire, love for the woman.
"That's your little button." He whispered, stroking with his index finger. Her eyes fluttered and a moan escaped like none other.
"Oh yeah…" Jethro kissed her forehead. "I want to make you feel really good, Suzanne…"
He continued with the manual and physical. Long, harder strokes—in and out. The responses, barely audible, easily interpreted by her opened mouth and short gasps.
"Oh, that's it, Susie…" She finally understood the word, oneness. It meant complete, unconditional love.
The feeling intensified, Suzanne's nails pressed deeper in Gibbs' shoulders, her gasp high-pitched. He went deeper and harder, grunted and moaned her name.
"God, you feel good, Suzanne…" Jethro continued commenting, watching her eyes fluttering.
"Jethro…?" She moaned more. She hesitated for a brief second, uncertain of the feeling. "Oh God, Jethro!" Her eyes widen. Her breath quickened.
"It's just us…okay?" Gibbs grabbed and held her hand as a sign of reassurance.
"Just let it go and come for me, Susie…" Gibbs whispered. That was the only questionable line he uttered during the night.
Their bodies were in complete agreement. Suzanne continued moaning, and soon Gibbs joined.
Together, they arrived at the peak. Their ending was passionate as the beginning. He moved even quicker. First to topple was Suzanne. Her muscles contracted, her breathing was uneven, quicker. Suzanne gasped while moaning his name, finally loosening her grip. Each moan, touch, and gaze exposed her true persona—curious, passionate, and sometimes soft-spoken. Small tears were on her face.
"Oh…God, Suzanne…here I am, baby…I'm right here with you." he whispered. His release was passionate, whispering her name, kissing her soft lips, his crystal blue eyes rolling in satisfaction and his breathing ragged. Gibbs, smiling, simply wrapped her in his arms, smothered her with wet kisses and wiped her tears from her face.
"It's okay." He tenderly kissed her hair. Suzanne tried to contain the tears. He pulled her closer in his arms.
Suzanne was still quiet. She barely moved. He just heard the stifled sobs.
"Did I hurt you?"
She nodded a "no."
He lightly caressed her, glanced, and studied the facial expression in the moonlight. Suzanne remained quiet, thinking about confusing a first lover with real love, didn't want to spoil the mood. She buried her face into his chest. Gently, he tilted her head.
It was Gibbs who conveyed the feeling. It was a special night with a special woman, the woman he loved. He looked deeply into Suzanne's eyes, caressing her face.
"I love you, and I'm in love with you." Gibbs kissed her lips. He cuddled her in his arms. He waited for an answer. Suzanne smiled, held Gibbs and fell asleep in his arms.
The cellphone chimed about 3:00. He noticed the incoming call was from Dr. Mallard. He reached over to answer.
"Yeah, Duck…?"
"I left her spare keys at work…" Ducky was genuinely concerned, his tone of panic.
"Have you heard from Suzanne? I called her cellphone; no answer. Her landline went to voicemail. I called Jimmy and Breena; she wasn't there. Then, I remembered she goes to Abby's sometimes…Abby said she wasn't there and sometimes she goes to the parish. That was at 1 AM…"
"Duck…" Jethro interrupted.
"I couldn't sleep, decided to drive over Trinity, then to campus library and back by her house...no jeep, just the porch light on. It's too quiet over there. Fred wasn't barking…that's not Suzanne."
"Duck…She's asleep." Jethro answered.
"Jethro…?"
"Suzanne is fine." Jethro whispered, reassuring his friend. "I'm going there in a while..."
Gibbs glanced at a sleeping Suzanne. He gently kissed her on the cheek, rolled out of bed to make his coffee. Since Shannon, he never made love so passionately with another woman. It was one of the first he doubted the famous intuitive gut. Gibbs watched the sunrise,wondering and hoping if Suzanne loved him the same way.