Red Dawn

Chapter 1: Dinner Distress

-Akatsuki Base-Grass Country In the Kitchen-

Deidara: Danna, I'm hungry, hm !
Sasori: Shut up, brat.
Deidara: But danna!
Sasori: Dinner's in like five minutes damn it stop whining!
Kisame –Walks in- What's going on in here?
Sasori: Deidara keeps whining about him being hungry!
Kisame: -Snicker- An S class missing nin, who didn't complain one bit after completely losing both arms, is whining about being hungry
Sasori: Shows how mature he is.
Deidara: But kisame danna I haven't eaten in FOREVER!
Sasori: H-hey! He gets to be your danna to
Deidara: -shrugs- Why not, I mean I respect him, yeah.
Kisame: :D
Sasori: You bastard!
Hidan: -walks in- Whats up heathen fuckers?
Kisame: Aren't you supposed to be cooking?
-Pein walks in-
Hidan: I finished, lets eat!

-Later at dinner-
Zetsi: -munch munch-
Pein: Damn it Zetsu no eating ninja's at the table!
Zetsu: Hey! You guys are eating vegetables, we]could be related to them or something!
Kisame: Are you seriously half plant?!
Zetsu: Are you seriously half fish?!
Hidan: Hahahaha.

Sasori: Can't we sit down for ONE MOMENT with out all you kids breaking into fights.
Kisame: Kids? I'm 32
Sasori: I'm at least 45
Kakuzu: You yourself are a kid sasori, I'm a good 100 years old
Hidan: -cracks up- You pansy's are so young, I've been around for fucking ever! at least three times longer than Kakuzu!
Itachi: Hn –uninterestedly turns his head-
Deidara: Aw, itachi-san is sad that he's still just a teenager, yeah. –Sticks tongues out-
Kisame: A teenager that can whoop your ass, so I wouldn't be laughing.
Itachi: -smirk-
Diedara: N-not anymore, yeah! My eye can conquer the sharingan, hmm!
Itachi: There is no eye that can conquer the sharingan.
Pein: I'd watch your cockiness, itachi. –smirk-
Itachi: Hn…-slurp- this is delicious, what [did you say this was again] hidan?
Hidan: Old classic, shark fin soup.
-SHAVE-
Hidan: AH SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK WHAT WAS THAT FOR!
Kisame: What the fuck are you doing cooking sharks?!
Zetsu: Oh so vegetables are okay but he cooks sharks and suddenly he's in trouble?
Kisame: Damn it Zetsu, shut the fuck up!
Itachi: -Walks away-
Hidan: Kakuzu you fucker, help me! Sew me together!
Kakuzu: -snicker- Hmmm…..NAH
Pein: Guys, can you sto-
Hidan: YOU MOTHERFUCKER KAKUZU!
Kisame: -Hauls Samehada onto his back- Retarded insensitive cook. –follows Itachi-
Sasori: 300 years old, mind of an 8 year old
Pein: Really guys eno-
Deidara: I couldn't agree more danna, yeah! –Snicker-
Hidan: DAMN IT KAKUZU
Kakuzu: Stop screaming, brat!
Sasori: Scream at him to stop screaming, that makes sense
Kakuzu: Shut the hel-
Pein: OK THAT'S IT YOU'RE ALL DISMISSED GO EAT SOMEWHERE ELSE, EVERYBODY OUT!
-everyone but Pein Konan and Hidan leave-
Pein: What did I sa ?!
Hidan: I cant move shithead
Pein: -Glare-…. -Punts hidan's head-
Konan: -throws hidan's body-
Pein: They're all so freaking old, yet so immature
Konan: Especially hidan
Pein: -Nods-
Konan: Kids…