Ice Ice Baby

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or DOAX2. Hell, I don't even have an Xbox!

He looked around in a huff as he emerged from the senkaimon. It was warm, humid, and oh so cheerfully sunny. Just what he, Hitsugaya Tōshirō-taichō of the 10th Division, needed on top of having to make up the last month's paperwork thanks to Matsumoto's spilled sake. He sighed to himself. 'Might as well get this over with-'

Touching down onto solid ground, the first thing he noticed was that his feet sank in slightly.

Odd. He didn't think Karakura had so much sand. Then again, Karakura didn't have palm trees, beach chairs, or-

"ITAI!!"

Hopping up and down on one foot, Hitsugaya struggled mightily with the little red monstrosity currently clamped solidly around his right big toe.

"Itaitaitaitaitaitaitaitaitai! Get! OFF!!!" Finally prying off the little crab off his oddly bare foot, the tiny taichō overbalanced, unceremoniously plopping down into the water.

"Hm? Salt?" He licked his finger again. Yep, definitely salty. Seeing as he was sitting up to his elbows in the ocean, this was hardly Karakura. Before his thoughts could turn towards returning to his assigned station however, Hitsugaya finally got a good look at himself.

Swimming trunks? He didn't wear swimming trunks! Especially not 'Finding Nemo' swimming trunks! Also, the strap that normally held Hyoranmaru to his back was gone, as was the zanpakuto itself! In its place was a suitably tiny children's islander tee.

Hitsugaya's face twisted into an expression of mortified horror.

Basically, he looked like a kid. A little kid, out wandering on the beach.

And right by his feet, his only contact with seireitai fizzled and sputtered in the salty water.

When he got back, Matsumoto would pay.

******

"ACHOO!!"

"Matsumoto-fukutaichō? Are you sick?"

*****

In hindsight, it probably would have served Soul Society's child prodigy quite well to be able to read English. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't. Not well at any rate.

"Ne-oo za-ku is-ru-an-du?" Hitsugaya grimaced as he put his mouth and tongue through acrobatics as he sounded out the big English letters on the large sign in front of him.

"Hey kid, are ya lost?"

Bristling, Hitsugaya turned around to give the whoever called him a 'kid' a piece of his mind-

Honey blonde bordered large blue eyes, the woman's perfect figure towering above him. Hitsugaya absently noted that she wore nothing but a tiny blue bikini and a misty blue sarong around her waist.

It wasn't hard to keep his eyes on the woman's face despite her having a good 17 inches on him; having one Matsumoto Rangiku as a lieutenant made the skill a necessity if he were to get any work done.

Mentally shrugging, the little taichō decided to try and make the best of the situation. "H-Hello, my name is Toshiro Hitsugaya." It helped that he spoke English much better than he could read it, despite the hint of uncertainty in his voice.

Naturally, it made for a less than ideal first impression in Hitsugaya's opinion.

"Awww, are ya lost cutie-pie?" The blonde ruffled the increasingly irritated captain's hair. "Don't you worry none. Big sis Tina will take care of ya."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Mmmmm."

Eyes closed, Helena Douglas lazily stretched out on one of the numerous lounge chairs surrounding the pool. Loosely clinging to her red two-piece, her white silk robe fluttered in the light breeze. Despite the reputation of the island's owner, New Zack Island was one of the few places that she felt she could truly relax.

"Heey, Helena!"

Although with that reckless American woman around, the fact that anywhere could be truly relaxing was surely a miracle in and of itself. The singer and CEO sat up, making a mental note to reapply her suntan lotion.

"Good day, Tina," she said with a politeness that she didn't really feel. The blonde American waved at her from across the pool.

"Does your father know you're here again?" Helena asked as Tina walked around the pool.

Tina snorted. "What daddy don't know won't hurt 'im none. Speakin' of family an' all..." She turned to a protesting Hitsugaya, pulling him forward. "You lose a brother or something? 'Cause I found this snowcapped lil' cutie wanderin' around the Marina."

Resolving to only indulge the American once, Helena turned towards Tina. Immediately, her own amethyst eyes focused on another pair of glacial green orbs.

While this was going on, Hitsugaya was having a mild crisis. In particular, he had no idea that there were this many women who risked back problems with their...proportions. With Matsumoto, he was simply too used to her antics for her to get a rise out of him. This was getting entirely out of hand.

"T-Trop mignon..."

The more delicate woman was patting his hair! He, Hitsugaya Toshiro was being patted like a kitten!

"Awww, lookit! He's blushing!"

"Y-Yamero!"

"Yer such a lil' cutie!"