a/n …my 1st torture Fanfic…AND THE AKATSUKI'S ARE MY TARGET!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Italics dream sequence/thought
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto…but if I did, Itachi would have suffered horrible torture and died the funniest possible death at Sasuke's hands…
end of a/n
[Akatsuki hideout, meeting room
9 of the 10 Akatsuki's were there..…. Paine (the leader) had told them that there would be a meeting today…
Ronan: ……….
Itachi: ………..
Kisame: …………….
Zetsu: …….
Deidara: …………
Sasori: ………………………………………………..
Hidan: ………………………….
Kakuzu: looking nervously from left to right, and vice-versa…repeatedly……………………………………………………………
Tobi: ………….. what …the… HELL IS TAKING HIM SO LONG!?
finally, 2 hours after the meeting was supposed to start, Paine finally appeared…
Tobi: inhales as if to start speaking…
Paine: … I know I'm late Tobi…but I had to make sure everything was ready…anyway…the reason that I have called this meeting is to announce that we now have… ANOTHER NEW MEMBER!!!
(Tobi only got in about less than a month ago)
Itachi: …fine……where is this "new member" anyway?…and WHO is he?
Paine: he should be here soon, and you will all find out who they are soon enough…
As if on cue, a portal appeared, and a young man garbed in royal, but random (and the author means…RAAANNDOMMMM) clothes, including a "king's crown", in which it's gems are encrusted in a "spiral-like" pattern…Oo…. and here he is - -
???: don't bother Paine-sempai… I'll introduce myself… addresses the whole group my name is Randoglious, Draconus III…
Itachi: …and your alias?
R., Draconus III: Oo …alias?
Paine: 00 oh that's right….examines Draconus III every member gets an alias once they join…
Tobi: I'm Tobi, and my alias is "the good boy" for the following reason…TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!!
Hidan: Hidan, aka "the Immortal Zealot"
Kakuzu: Kakuzu, aka "the$ Greedy$ Master$ of$ Tentacle$ Pr0n$"
Ronan: Ronan, aka "[unknown"
Deidara: Deidara, the… do I have to say it? It's bad enough not having my arms…but why does everyone make me relive those horrible moments!?
(everyone but Deidara): Oo…………..……………….XD SORRY DEIDARA, THE ARMLESS ONE!!!
Deidara: O oh yeah? Well I won't be "armless" for long….oops…better stop before I spoil the whole future…MOVING ON WITH THE INTRO'S!!!
Sasori: …Sasori…the……Master of Puppets…
Paine: …and, of course, you already know who I am…PAINE, AKA, "THE LEADER"…….so…we still need to think of an alias for you…how 'bout "spiral lord"?
Draconus III: ……… HELL NOOOO!!!!!!
Paine: oookaaaay………than let's try "King of Randomness" - -
Draconus III: yesssssss…that's it….it's perfect…especially since it IS my actual title…..
Paine: Oo…anyway, you will be going with Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, and Tobi…..
King of Randomness: rubbing hands together and smiling evilly goooooooooooooooooooood………….
(Everyone but KoR): Oo
Paine: Oo……………. Oo??? what…was that?
KoR: nothing!……But just so you know, some boy named Yamata, Shiro will be moving in also, so that he can "FIIIINAAALLY GET THE F AWAY FROM 'THE WORST FATHER IN THE WORLD'"……
(everyone): Oo WTF????????????
2 minutes later…
Paine: Oo…….who did you say his father was again?
KoR: ……………You wouldn't believe me if I told you… and you wouldn't want to know anyway…….
(everyone): yes, we do so just say it or we'll tap your phone(s), place bugs EVERYWHERE, and have someone spy on you 24/7!!!!!!!!!!
KoR: ………..ok……but I will only say it once…………..his father is………….Orochimaru…….
(All): OO WTF!?
KoR: told you so…….however…on the night of conception, Orochimaru was STONED OUT OF HIS MIIIINNNNNND!!!!!!!!!!explains to the others that when Orochimaru is drunk, he's gay; when he's sober, he's bi, and when he's "STONED OUT OF HIS MIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNND, he'll have, at the least, 27 women in his bed in one night
(everyone): OO………………….
Tobi, Zetsu, Itachi, and Kisame: Oo …………that…………explains a lot……………
later that day…
[lounge
Itachi and KoR are playing "Through Fire and Flames" by Dragonforce on Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock…………..in "guitar battle" mode, Itachi is on 'hard', while playing as 'Lou'; and KoR is on 'expert', while playing as 'Slash' (yes, you can play as him in GH III: Legends of Rock); Itachi is loosing, and the song is almost over; the others are watching in amazement and disbelief.
(everyone except Itachi and KoR): OO ………………………..how the hell is Itachi loosing!? Who the HELL IS THIS GUY!?
Song ends, Itachi had BARELY made it through…
(TV screen): DEATH MATCH!!!
Song starts again
KoR: gets battle power- Death Drain (only available if you enter Death Match), and uses it
Itachi: OO ….oh crap……
Itachi…you die in 3…2…1…
(screen): PLAYER 1 ROCKS!!!
KoR: play again?
Itachi: THAT ROUND WAS A FLUKE!!! WE CHANGE SONG NOW!!!!
KoR: okay…goes to "'guitar battle vs. Lou'"
The new song starts…
2 hours later…
KoR: Oo…..you can't call it a fluke anymore Itachi…I beat you on every song THREE FING TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!…face it Itachi…you loose…and for this, you have to……….turn Sasuke into THE Trogdor the Burninator!!!
Itachi: Oeye twitch WTFFFFFFFFF!!!??? HE F WIPED THE FLOOR WITH ME!!!!…oh well…might as well accept his punishment ………….is that…….. "fire-included?…
KoR: yes…and it has to be in Orochimaru's mansion… with Orochimaru in it…….
Itachi: OO…SON OF A B!!!!!!!1!!1111!!!!!one!!!!…….. ok I'll do it…but can I get help from maybe one of the authors over at of course! But you and ONLY YOU are aloud to do it! (in other words, you may have one of those authors have you do it…)
Itachi: Oeye twitch…fine…………..
a/n so… how'd it go (in your eyes)? Review……….if you can stop laughing long enough to do it….end of a/n