Unlikely Conversations By TheBoredOne XIII aka Bored
First off, a little bit of crediting needs to be done.
Zero Tsubasa no Kami - Zero, for any ideas I may have gotten from you.. "CREDIT TO ZERO" I'll make a list later.
I don't believe I've ever seen a fic about support conversations that never happened in the game, but if anyone has done this before 03/18/04 (there probably is one somewhere on the internet), credit to you.
I'm just going to do the ones I think would be the most interesting. There are also a few characters that I never bothered to recruit (Like Harken) so I won't be doing those supports. If you have a request, email it to me.
WARNING: There will be LOTS of times when the characters are... OOC. There'll probably be some shonen-ai in there too. If you don't like OOC shonen-ai then... click the little back button on your browser and don't read my fanfic.
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Chapter 1
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Matthew: Lord Hector!
Hector: Oh great.. here's Matthew..
Matthew: I have a job for you!
Hector: YOU have a job for ME?
Matthew: Think of it as a challenge?
Hector: MATTHEW!
Matthew: Okay, okay, okay!! How about I make it worth it?
Hector: I'm listening.
Matthew: Let's say.. um... Eliwood... falls and isn't able to get up for a while?
Hector: What is it that I have to do?
Matthew: Yay. Okay, all you have to do is get information that I can use for blackmail.
Hector: ... aren't YOU the spy?
Matthew: Ah yes, but why should I have to do something when I can get someone else to do it?
Hector: MATTHEW!!
Matthew: Eep. Okay, just get some info on Lucius and Jaffar for me, okay?
Hector: ... You can make sure Eliwood is out for a few chapters?
Matthew: mhmm...
Hector: Okay, but how the hell can I pull that off?
Matthew: The tactician is in on it. Don't worry about it. Just "support" the people closest to them.
Hector: ... supports, eh? Maybe you're not as stupid as you look.
Matthew: You hurt me, Lord Hector.
Hector: feh.
Hector and Raven C support:
Raven: You!
Hector: ...
Raven: Yes, YOU!
Hector: ... you're that Raymond guy, right?
Raven: !! NO! I am RAVEN. Not RAYMOND.
Hector: huh. I could have sworn I overheard that cross-dressing monk call you "Lord Raymond".
Raven: That is none of your concern!
Hector: Yeah well, what do you want?
Raven: I want your bloo-- nothing. Nevermind.
Hector: My bloo-nothing?
Raven: I said nevermind! You stupid Ostian noble!! YOU SHALL PAY!!*runs off*
Hector: ...
Hector and Raven B support:
Raven: Yes... Yeeesss... That'll work... That stupid Hector will walk right into..
Hector: hey! you! Raven!
Raven: wah! huh? YOU!
Hector: ... I just said that.
Raven: What do you want?! I'm not planning your demise! Go away!
Hector: I will not go away! The tactician said to stand next to Raven so she could get something called a "Support". Wait a minute.. my demise?
Raven: Fine! Stand there if you must! And no! I said I WASN'T planning your demise!
Hector: um.. okay...
[silence]
Hector: so... um.. did you hear that rumor about Priscilla?
Raven: yes... yess.... that-- huh what? Priscilla? No. I don't know a Priscilla. I'm not related to a Priscilla.
Hector: ... Is that a no?
Raven: no to what?
Hector: about the rumor!
Raven: what rumor?
Hector: about Priscilla!!
Raven: You're going to have to be more specific. There are a lot of rumors about Priscilla... Um... none of which were started by me.
Hector: Okay, the one about Priscilla and Erk.
Raven: WHAT?! PRISCILLA AND THAT PUNY LITTLE MAGE?! I'LL KILL HIM!
Hector: Whoa.. what's with you? Do you like Priscilla or something?
Raven: what? ewww... incest is nasty! You pervert! You shall pay!!
Hector: wait.. incest? wouldn't that make you and Priscilla rela--
Raven: Gotta go. Bye. *runs off*
Hector: O.O
Hector and Raven A support:
Raven: And then that puny little mage and that big oaf of a hect--
Hector: Raven!
Raven: yah!! Don't do that! Don't sneak up on a man planning the demise of his nemesis and a puny mage!
Hector: Um... I've been meaning to ask you about that. What's with this revenge thing?
Raven: I don't know what you're talking about.
Hector: Don't give me that shit. I heard it from that Lucius guy. He's quite talkative with the right motivation. He started spilling out everything about how you're planning my death to avenge your fallen house of Cornwell and how you and Priscilla are related and Priscilla has this freaky crush on you. You're right. Incest is nasty.
Raven: I don't know what you're talking about! I swear the monk was lying! He's not even really a monk! And he dyes his hair! It's actually naturally pink! You should disregard everything he told you!!
Hector: *pulls out a notepad and starts writing* Hmm... pink you say.. Raven: ...
Hector: Tell me more and stop trying to kill me.
Raven: ... um okay.
Hector: Hmm? Giving in that easily?
Raven: *shrug* It wasn't really Ostia that destroyed House Cornwell anyway. It was Lucius. He was practicing his magic and blew it up. He had a really bad accuracy rate. He stole fourteen Secret Books to increase his skill.
Hector: Interesting... tell me more...
Hector and Ninian C support:
Hector: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z Now I know my ABC's, next time won't you kill Eliwood for me.
Ninian: um...
Hector: huh?! whoa.. You're that Ninian girl right? The one that Eliwood blames for nearly getting us killed on Valor, and the one who Eliwood blames for getting his dad killed.
Ninian: oh... um... yeah well, if Eliwood was stronger and wasn't a puny little useless lord, you guys wouldn't have had a problem!! And Lord Elbert wouldn't have died if his stupid son wasn't such a weakling!
Hector: ... So that's how you see him...
Ninian: And you! You'd better not tell him about this! Or I'll.. I'll..
Hector: You'll what?
Ninian: I'll...
Hector: Hahahahaa!! You can't hurt me! I AM HECTOR!! AND NOW THAT I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HATE ELIWOOD, I SHALL USE THE INFORMATION FOR BLACKMAIL!
Ninian: *GASP* No!! Wait a minute.. Did you say that Eliwood blames ME for nearly getting us all killed and his dad's death?!
Hector: shit.
Ninian: I'll kill him!! I'll kill him!! *runs off*
Hector: ..... I'm so screwed... HEY! YOU! WEIRD PALE DANCING GIRL!! COME BAAAACK! *runs after*
Hector and Ninian B support:
Ninian: Oh Eliwood! Come out come out where ever you are! I just wanna talk.
Hector: Huff Puff.. Curses on that stupid dancer. Where the f-- aha! I have found you!!
Ninian: Eh? oh. You. What are you doing here? Saving Eliwood's ass again?
Hector: Eh? Nope. Saving my own ass. You see, Eliwood is a dear dear FRIEND of mine. I can't let you hurt him!
Ninian: Oh how noble... wait a minute.. did you just say you were saving your own ass?
Hector: No! I said.. Saving my... own.ly.. pass...
Ninian: Your only pass?
Hector: Yeah! My.. only pass to.. Oswinland!
Ninian: OSWINland?
Hector: Mhmm. See! It got stuck to your shoe there. *kneels down and pretends to pick up a paper* Thanks! Bye! *runs off*
Ninian: ...
Hector and Ninian A support:
Ninian: Hector!!
Hector: eep!
Ninian: May I PLEASE see your Oswinland pass?
Hector: Um... sure thing.
Ninian: "Admit one HECTOR to OSWINland." ...
Hector: ^_^
Ninian: ... so where exactly IS this Oswinland?
Hector: No one really knows EXACTLY where Oswinland is. It's kinda just.. THERE. Oswin is the only one who can bring people there. Yup.
Ninian: May I go to Oswinland to check it out?
Hector: I don't know... You do need a pass... and an Oswin...
Ninian: ...
Hector: I guess I can pull some strings and get you in...
Ninian: oh really?
Hector: .. IF you stop trying to kill Eliwood!
Ninian: no.
Hector: or.... you kill Eliwood without telling him I told you about him blaming you?
Ninian: ... deal.
Hector and Nino C support:
Hector: Arrrgh...
Nino: ah!! what was that sound?! a monster???
Hector: Arrrgh...
Nino: EEEP!!! AHHH!! DON'T HURT MEE!!! JAFFAR!!! HEEELP!!!
Hector: Huh? Wha? ... Hey kid, what are you doing here?
Nino: Huh? Oh! Lord Hector! I'm sorry, I thought you were a monster!
Hector: ... a... monster?
Nino: Uh huh.
Hector: ...
Nino: But now that I see it's just YOU, Lord Hector...
Hector: Hey.. what's that supposed to mean?
Nino: Ohh nothing. So.. nice weather, huh?
Hector: Don't change the subject.
Nino: Oh I know! Why don't we race?? Oh that's a great Idea! Come on Lord Hector! Let's race! *runs off*
Hector: ... I... hate... kids...
Hector and Nino B support:
Nino: Heehee!! Hector can't catch me now! Not even if he stole a horse and rode it and trampled me and yelled "HAHAHA!!!"
Hector: Hey. Kid.
Nino: !! Hector!! Hey.. don't call me a kid! For your information, I'm FOURTEEN YEARS OLD!!
Hector: ... Yeah, whatever.
Nino: Don't "Yeah, whatever." me! I'm the teenager! I GET TO SAY YEAH, WHATEVER TO YOU! DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?! YOU MAKE ME SO.. SO.. SO..
Hector: angry?
Nino: So.. so..
Hector: ... mad?
Nino: so..
Hector: ... irritated? annoyed? sleepy?
Nino: Hungry.
Hector: ... ... ...
Nino: Yeah, that's right! I'm hungry.
Hector: ...
Nino: ... Um.. Lord Hector?
Hector: yeah, what is it?
Nino: ... I'm hungry.
Hector: ... I HATE kids...
Hector and Nino A support:
Nino: Heeeeectooooor!! I'm hungry!! Haven't you got ANYTHING to eat?
Hector: Will you stop whining?! Go bother Jaffar or something!
Nino: JAFFAR?! With his dot dot dot-ing?! What would THAT accomplish?!
Hector: .. I thought you two were friends.
Nino: Nah. Jaffar is creeeepy. He's a pedophile, I swear.
Hector: pedophile... hmm...
Nino: Really. He is. He told me I was his best friend.
Hector: Tell me more.
Nino: Give me food.
Hector: gah. Here. Have some bread.
Nino: K.
Hector: well?
Nino: oh. um.. his real name is Eugene.
Hector: O.O Eugene?
Nino: uh huh. Oh and, he's on steroids. and he's on anti-depressants. He takes Prozac. He's tried Zoloft, but it had... weird... side effects.
Hector: such as?
Nino: Well, he turned into this ball thing. This white ball thing with a really thick black outline. And it had a sad face on it. And it bounced around looking sad. Then this banner appeared out of nowhere and it read "Hahahaha!! Zoloft sucks! You got suckered into buying a faulty product! EVERYONE KNOWS PROZAC IS THE WAY TO GO!!" Then he turned back to normal and started crying.
Hector: O.O Interesting...
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Later
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Hector: *sitting in front of something the tactician called a "computer".* Upload html file. *calls to Eliwood* Hey! Eliwood! Come look at my "website"!
Eliwood: *beaten up and bandaged up* huh? *hobbles over* whoaa.. Jaffar's real name is EUGENE?! Hey Hector! This is almost as good as Matthew's site!
Hector: almost?
Eliwood: Uh huh. By the way, is it true that you were the grape in our school play?
Hector: ... MAAAAAAAATTHEW!!!!!!!!!!
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Elsewhere
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Matthew: Upload html file. Heh heh heh... *holds up Hector's Oswinland pass*. I wonder if I could sell this on eBay...
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To be continued.. maybe...
-----
Ah.. The Hector/Nino supports kinda sucked.. But I bet you didn't know that Jaffar's actually named Eugene and he's on Prozac! =P Review if you want...
First off, a little bit of crediting needs to be done.
Zero Tsubasa no Kami - Zero, for any ideas I may have gotten from you.. "CREDIT TO ZERO" I'll make a list later.
I don't believe I've ever seen a fic about support conversations that never happened in the game, but if anyone has done this before 03/18/04 (there probably is one somewhere on the internet), credit to you.
I'm just going to do the ones I think would be the most interesting. There are also a few characters that I never bothered to recruit (Like Harken) so I won't be doing those supports. If you have a request, email it to me.
WARNING: There will be LOTS of times when the characters are... OOC. There'll probably be some shonen-ai in there too. If you don't like OOC shonen-ai then... click the little back button on your browser and don't read my fanfic.
-----
Chapter 1
-----
Matthew: Lord Hector!
Hector: Oh great.. here's Matthew..
Matthew: I have a job for you!
Hector: YOU have a job for ME?
Matthew: Think of it as a challenge?
Hector: MATTHEW!
Matthew: Okay, okay, okay!! How about I make it worth it?
Hector: I'm listening.
Matthew: Let's say.. um... Eliwood... falls and isn't able to get up for a while?
Hector: What is it that I have to do?
Matthew: Yay. Okay, all you have to do is get information that I can use for blackmail.
Hector: ... aren't YOU the spy?
Matthew: Ah yes, but why should I have to do something when I can get someone else to do it?
Hector: MATTHEW!!
Matthew: Eep. Okay, just get some info on Lucius and Jaffar for me, okay?
Hector: ... You can make sure Eliwood is out for a few chapters?
Matthew: mhmm...
Hector: Okay, but how the hell can I pull that off?
Matthew: The tactician is in on it. Don't worry about it. Just "support" the people closest to them.
Hector: ... supports, eh? Maybe you're not as stupid as you look.
Matthew: You hurt me, Lord Hector.
Hector: feh.
Hector and Raven C support:
Raven: You!
Hector: ...
Raven: Yes, YOU!
Hector: ... you're that Raymond guy, right?
Raven: !! NO! I am RAVEN. Not RAYMOND.
Hector: huh. I could have sworn I overheard that cross-dressing monk call you "Lord Raymond".
Raven: That is none of your concern!
Hector: Yeah well, what do you want?
Raven: I want your bloo-- nothing. Nevermind.
Hector: My bloo-nothing?
Raven: I said nevermind! You stupid Ostian noble!! YOU SHALL PAY!!*runs off*
Hector: ...
Hector and Raven B support:
Raven: Yes... Yeeesss... That'll work... That stupid Hector will walk right into..
Hector: hey! you! Raven!
Raven: wah! huh? YOU!
Hector: ... I just said that.
Raven: What do you want?! I'm not planning your demise! Go away!
Hector: I will not go away! The tactician said to stand next to Raven so she could get something called a "Support". Wait a minute.. my demise?
Raven: Fine! Stand there if you must! And no! I said I WASN'T planning your demise!
Hector: um.. okay...
[silence]
Hector: so... um.. did you hear that rumor about Priscilla?
Raven: yes... yess.... that-- huh what? Priscilla? No. I don't know a Priscilla. I'm not related to a Priscilla.
Hector: ... Is that a no?
Raven: no to what?
Hector: about the rumor!
Raven: what rumor?
Hector: about Priscilla!!
Raven: You're going to have to be more specific. There are a lot of rumors about Priscilla... Um... none of which were started by me.
Hector: Okay, the one about Priscilla and Erk.
Raven: WHAT?! PRISCILLA AND THAT PUNY LITTLE MAGE?! I'LL KILL HIM!
Hector: Whoa.. what's with you? Do you like Priscilla or something?
Raven: what? ewww... incest is nasty! You pervert! You shall pay!!
Hector: wait.. incest? wouldn't that make you and Priscilla rela--
Raven: Gotta go. Bye. *runs off*
Hector: O.O
Hector and Raven A support:
Raven: And then that puny little mage and that big oaf of a hect--
Hector: Raven!
Raven: yah!! Don't do that! Don't sneak up on a man planning the demise of his nemesis and a puny mage!
Hector: Um... I've been meaning to ask you about that. What's with this revenge thing?
Raven: I don't know what you're talking about.
Hector: Don't give me that shit. I heard it from that Lucius guy. He's quite talkative with the right motivation. He started spilling out everything about how you're planning my death to avenge your fallen house of Cornwell and how you and Priscilla are related and Priscilla has this freaky crush on you. You're right. Incest is nasty.
Raven: I don't know what you're talking about! I swear the monk was lying! He's not even really a monk! And he dyes his hair! It's actually naturally pink! You should disregard everything he told you!!
Hector: *pulls out a notepad and starts writing* Hmm... pink you say.. Raven: ...
Hector: Tell me more and stop trying to kill me.
Raven: ... um okay.
Hector: Hmm? Giving in that easily?
Raven: *shrug* It wasn't really Ostia that destroyed House Cornwell anyway. It was Lucius. He was practicing his magic and blew it up. He had a really bad accuracy rate. He stole fourteen Secret Books to increase his skill.
Hector: Interesting... tell me more...
Hector and Ninian C support:
Hector: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z Now I know my ABC's, next time won't you kill Eliwood for me.
Ninian: um...
Hector: huh?! whoa.. You're that Ninian girl right? The one that Eliwood blames for nearly getting us killed on Valor, and the one who Eliwood blames for getting his dad killed.
Ninian: oh... um... yeah well, if Eliwood was stronger and wasn't a puny little useless lord, you guys wouldn't have had a problem!! And Lord Elbert wouldn't have died if his stupid son wasn't such a weakling!
Hector: ... So that's how you see him...
Ninian: And you! You'd better not tell him about this! Or I'll.. I'll..
Hector: You'll what?
Ninian: I'll...
Hector: Hahahahaa!! You can't hurt me! I AM HECTOR!! AND NOW THAT I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HATE ELIWOOD, I SHALL USE THE INFORMATION FOR BLACKMAIL!
Ninian: *GASP* No!! Wait a minute.. Did you say that Eliwood blames ME for nearly getting us all killed and his dad's death?!
Hector: shit.
Ninian: I'll kill him!! I'll kill him!! *runs off*
Hector: ..... I'm so screwed... HEY! YOU! WEIRD PALE DANCING GIRL!! COME BAAAACK! *runs after*
Hector and Ninian B support:
Ninian: Oh Eliwood! Come out come out where ever you are! I just wanna talk.
Hector: Huff Puff.. Curses on that stupid dancer. Where the f-- aha! I have found you!!
Ninian: Eh? oh. You. What are you doing here? Saving Eliwood's ass again?
Hector: Eh? Nope. Saving my own ass. You see, Eliwood is a dear dear FRIEND of mine. I can't let you hurt him!
Ninian: Oh how noble... wait a minute.. did you just say you were saving your own ass?
Hector: No! I said.. Saving my... own.ly.. pass...
Ninian: Your only pass?
Hector: Yeah! My.. only pass to.. Oswinland!
Ninian: OSWINland?
Hector: Mhmm. See! It got stuck to your shoe there. *kneels down and pretends to pick up a paper* Thanks! Bye! *runs off*
Ninian: ...
Hector and Ninian A support:
Ninian: Hector!!
Hector: eep!
Ninian: May I PLEASE see your Oswinland pass?
Hector: Um... sure thing.
Ninian: "Admit one HECTOR to OSWINland." ...
Hector: ^_^
Ninian: ... so where exactly IS this Oswinland?
Hector: No one really knows EXACTLY where Oswinland is. It's kinda just.. THERE. Oswin is the only one who can bring people there. Yup.
Ninian: May I go to Oswinland to check it out?
Hector: I don't know... You do need a pass... and an Oswin...
Ninian: ...
Hector: I guess I can pull some strings and get you in...
Ninian: oh really?
Hector: .. IF you stop trying to kill Eliwood!
Ninian: no.
Hector: or.... you kill Eliwood without telling him I told you about him blaming you?
Ninian: ... deal.
Hector and Nino C support:
Hector: Arrrgh...
Nino: ah!! what was that sound?! a monster???
Hector: Arrrgh...
Nino: EEEP!!! AHHH!! DON'T HURT MEE!!! JAFFAR!!! HEEELP!!!
Hector: Huh? Wha? ... Hey kid, what are you doing here?
Nino: Huh? Oh! Lord Hector! I'm sorry, I thought you were a monster!
Hector: ... a... monster?
Nino: Uh huh.
Hector: ...
Nino: But now that I see it's just YOU, Lord Hector...
Hector: Hey.. what's that supposed to mean?
Nino: Ohh nothing. So.. nice weather, huh?
Hector: Don't change the subject.
Nino: Oh I know! Why don't we race?? Oh that's a great Idea! Come on Lord Hector! Let's race! *runs off*
Hector: ... I... hate... kids...
Hector and Nino B support:
Nino: Heehee!! Hector can't catch me now! Not even if he stole a horse and rode it and trampled me and yelled "HAHAHA!!!"
Hector: Hey. Kid.
Nino: !! Hector!! Hey.. don't call me a kid! For your information, I'm FOURTEEN YEARS OLD!!
Hector: ... Yeah, whatever.
Nino: Don't "Yeah, whatever." me! I'm the teenager! I GET TO SAY YEAH, WHATEVER TO YOU! DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?! YOU MAKE ME SO.. SO.. SO..
Hector: angry?
Nino: So.. so..
Hector: ... mad?
Nino: so..
Hector: ... irritated? annoyed? sleepy?
Nino: Hungry.
Hector: ... ... ...
Nino: Yeah, that's right! I'm hungry.
Hector: ...
Nino: ... Um.. Lord Hector?
Hector: yeah, what is it?
Nino: ... I'm hungry.
Hector: ... I HATE kids...
Hector and Nino A support:
Nino: Heeeeectooooor!! I'm hungry!! Haven't you got ANYTHING to eat?
Hector: Will you stop whining?! Go bother Jaffar or something!
Nino: JAFFAR?! With his dot dot dot-ing?! What would THAT accomplish?!
Hector: .. I thought you two were friends.
Nino: Nah. Jaffar is creeeepy. He's a pedophile, I swear.
Hector: pedophile... hmm...
Nino: Really. He is. He told me I was his best friend.
Hector: Tell me more.
Nino: Give me food.
Hector: gah. Here. Have some bread.
Nino: K.
Hector: well?
Nino: oh. um.. his real name is Eugene.
Hector: O.O Eugene?
Nino: uh huh. Oh and, he's on steroids. and he's on anti-depressants. He takes Prozac. He's tried Zoloft, but it had... weird... side effects.
Hector: such as?
Nino: Well, he turned into this ball thing. This white ball thing with a really thick black outline. And it had a sad face on it. And it bounced around looking sad. Then this banner appeared out of nowhere and it read "Hahahaha!! Zoloft sucks! You got suckered into buying a faulty product! EVERYONE KNOWS PROZAC IS THE WAY TO GO!!" Then he turned back to normal and started crying.
Hector: O.O Interesting...
-----
Later
-----
Hector: *sitting in front of something the tactician called a "computer".* Upload html file. *calls to Eliwood* Hey! Eliwood! Come look at my "website"!
Eliwood: *beaten up and bandaged up* huh? *hobbles over* whoaa.. Jaffar's real name is EUGENE?! Hey Hector! This is almost as good as Matthew's site!
Hector: almost?
Eliwood: Uh huh. By the way, is it true that you were the grape in our school play?
Hector: ... MAAAAAAAATTHEW!!!!!!!!!!
-----
Elsewhere
-----
Matthew: Upload html file. Heh heh heh... *holds up Hector's Oswinland pass*. I wonder if I could sell this on eBay...
-----
To be continued.. maybe...
-----
Ah.. The Hector/Nino supports kinda sucked.. But I bet you didn't know that Jaffar's actually named Eugene and he's on Prozac! =P Review if you want...