She lay awake in bed, curled into a fetal position. It felt like her heart had been ripped out and repeatedly smashed with a hammer. He was dead. There was no way to bring him back. He had made her feel alive, and now, because of her, he was dead. Just dust in the wind. She played over and over in her head the scene that will haunt her for the rest of her days, and she now hoped there weren't that many of those days left.
Maybe she could have done something different. Maybe if she was there sooner. Maybe if her hand had grabbed his killers wrist quicker. His killer. She had befriended him, not knowing he was plotting to kill her love. Love. She had loved him for so long, but never told him. Never came to realize it until recently. And he never new. He had loved her. He had loved her more than anyone else had. And she just used him. Used him as a sex slave. For so long, that's all he was to her. A good screw when she was down. Now what was he?
Just because he was dead, she realizes it now? How could she not have seen it before. She had done so much for him recently. Made him almost human, making him get a soul. His soul had made him seem a man. Not the creature she once thought he was. No longer a monster, but a man. Just recently, she had no longer thought of him as a vial creature that which she could just have sex with him for hours on end whenever she wanted. She knew he would do it every time. Because he loved her. She was the monster for using him like that.
He died not knowing. He died thinking she never loved him. She remembered the way his eyes looked before he burst into a pile of dust. He had looked at her with disappointment. She had let this happen to him. She didn't stop the vengeful man who plunged the stake into his un-beating heart. It could have been her who had killed him, there would have made no difference. So now she lay there, with that look in his blue eyes implanted permanently in her damaged mind. How was she to function now. She couldn't. She felt the need to suffer, since she had made him so suffer for so long. She didn't deserve to live.
Maybe she could have done something different. Maybe if she was there sooner. Maybe if her hand had grabbed his killers wrist quicker. His killer. She had befriended him, not knowing he was plotting to kill her love. Love. She had loved him for so long, but never told him. Never came to realize it until recently. And he never new. He had loved her. He had loved her more than anyone else had. And she just used him. Used him as a sex slave. For so long, that's all he was to her. A good screw when she was down. Now what was he?
Just because he was dead, she realizes it now? How could she not have seen it before. She had done so much for him recently. Made him almost human, making him get a soul. His soul had made him seem a man. Not the creature she once thought he was. No longer a monster, but a man. Just recently, she had no longer thought of him as a vial creature that which she could just have sex with him for hours on end whenever she wanted. She knew he would do it every time. Because he loved her. She was the monster for using him like that.
He died not knowing. He died thinking she never loved him. She remembered the way his eyes looked before he burst into a pile of dust. He had looked at her with disappointment. She had let this happen to him. She didn't stop the vengeful man who plunged the stake into his un-beating heart. It could have been her who had killed him, there would have made no difference. So now she lay there, with that look in his blue eyes implanted permanently in her damaged mind. How was she to function now. She couldn't. She felt the need to suffer, since she had made him so suffer for so long. She didn't deserve to live.