Hajime

"In that case, I hereby declare... the Fourth Ninja World War." - Madara

It seemed as though everything was going horribly today for Kisame. The goddam window just wouldn't shut, and the noise outside was just too unbearable. If he had to listen to another minute of the noise, he would explode. Luckily, he didn't. The window came unstuck at the last second. Kisame's force brought the window down in the blink of an eye, and the bottom of the wooden frame came down and smashed against the window sill. The harsh crunch of wood on wood was a relief in Kisame's ears. If he tried to open it, he knew the wood would crumble off the window and onto the floor. He liked that thought, but he was somewhat thankful he hadn't actually broken the glass.

After a deep sigh, Kisame listened to the room intensely. No noise, and no arguing. Finally, perfection. It was all people ever did nowadays was argue. Like they had anything else better to do, right? Kisame understood it. Wars were big things. But, for christ sake, couldn't they just have their 'conversations' in other, non-public places? He'd appreciate it, for sure.

That was another reason he hated small town motels. The vendors liked to bother you at the doors, practically begging you to buy some stupid kunai pouch or something. Then people get sick of being talked to about how bad the war was, and how the poor vender was suffering from starvation and trying to feed his family, when he's sitting there with a big-ass rock on his finger. Or a few of them. Those were the people Kisame enjoyed killing most. But Samehada never got off on their chakra well, so Kisame was forced to just pass the greedy bigots by.

The only reason Kisame had even come to this area was to find some old guy he'd heard was real powerful. Samehada was hungry, and the small chakras just weren't enough anymore, even though there were plenty around during the war. People just liked to launch themselves at you for no reason, enemy or friend. Or, at least, it happened to Kisame more often then not for some reason. He didn't exactly look helpless, so he just couldn't figure these people out.

After a while of relaxing, Kisame stood from his lumpy motel bed and went into the bathroom. He took a quick shower, shaved, and scrubbed his teeth. He'd forgotten to do laundry the past few days, so he just slipped on a pair of baggy pants and some of his ratted-up shoes. He stuffed everything else into his nearly destroyed backpack, heaved Samehada up onto his back, then left the hotel room, not even caring to close the door on the way out.

Out in the lobby, Kisame could hear the arguing outside. His hands itched, but he ignored it. He tossed his room key at the fake woman at the front desk, then dared to venture out the heavy door into the street. There were mass amounts of people fighting and hollering at each other. Of course Kisame towered over them, so seeing how he could get out of there fast was easy. He shoved a lot of people over, and for once they didn't really retaliate. They were more involved in beating up the traveling trader that hollered at Kisame yesterday night when he arrived at the motel. Men, women, and even a few kids took turns knocking the crap out of the guy, and taking anything they wanted from him. Kisame almost got a kick out of it, but it was just too loud and the circumstances were just too stupid for his liking. Once out of the mob, he had shove away a few bystanders that got in his way. There were a lot of them too. This was something that stabbed at Kisame's nerves. How stupid were people?

Once clear of the crowd, he entered a small cafe near the center of the tiny village. It was well furnished with dark colors and leather seat covers. The walls were a deep maroon color, and the waitresses looked good enough to eat. There was only one other person in the cafe, and he sat in a booth by himself. The man looked fairly young, with somewhat long black hair. He couldn't tell much else, because the boy didn't turn around when Kisame entered. Kisame himself came up to the counter and sat in a chair, patting Samehada's hilt. A kind-eyed brunette came up to greet him.

"Any breakfasts ya got'll be great, and some coffee. Black, please." Kisame wasn't good at talking to anybody except the pretty waitresses in restaurants. They were cute, and you felt at least somewhat comfortable staring at their butts when they turned around. I mean, they wear skirts like those, and they're just asking for it. Besides, nobody would try to smack a guy like Kisame, unless they wanted their hands bitten off. He would, too.

The cute waitress brought Kisame a hardy plate of breakfast a few minutes later, composed of scrambled eggs, burnt looking hashbrowns, and a few pieces of bacon and sausage. She came next with the coffee, then took the money Kisame handed her. It was more than neccesary, but she pretended not to notice, and slipped it into her shirt.

He made sure to eat slowly and savor the taste, only because this would probably be his only meal for today. He had a lot of travelling to do if he wanted to find the guy for Samehada to finally get some grub. Behind him, Kisame could feel a pair of eyes on his back. He guessed it was probably the kid he saw coming in, but he didn't feel like turning around and insulting him right now. He had better things to think about. But, it was an eerier feeling than usual. He did his best to ignore it. Instead, he took out a folded map from a pocket in his backpack. He unfolded it in front of his breakfast, and stared at it. He took out a marker next, taking the cap off with his mouth and holding it there. He thought about something for a good long while before actually crossing off the town he was in on the map. He had been to almost every town in the area searching for this guy. He had thought this was the last one, but he had a feeling it wasn't. Sure enough, after careful observation, Kisame found there was a small dot on the map unmarked, right near the top where he had started this goddamned quest. He drew a loppy circle around it carefully, then stared at it for several minutes in annoyance. Samehada was so lucky he had such a good caretaker.

Kisame folded the map and tucked it away in his backpack pocket, then did the same with the marker after capping it. He finished his meal, then chugged his coffee. Coffee was not his thing, but he needed the caffeine for the trip. The woman tried to wish him a good day, but Kisame blatantly ignored her. She was pretty, but he didn't really take to her. On his way out, however, he locked eyes with the man who had been staring at him. His eyes were deep and black, and looked stone cold. He walked faster after that, not even bothering to take notice of anything else. Pretty eyes, but too cold. Way too cold.

____________________

Rivers were beautiful things, especially when you were Kisame. Halfway through his trip to the village circled on his map, he remembered there was a river marked on the map that ran right next to the village he needed to get to. Kisame, desperate, searched for and found the river. Swimming or drifting, it was faster and easier than walking. For sure. Right about now, Kisame let the river lazily drift him slowly toward his goal. He laid in the water on his stomach, so as to not get his bag too wet, since it was falling apart. Fish tried desperately to avoid Kisame, but sometimes the fish were nice, and came to swim next to him. Either way, he didn't care. Fish were dumb creatures anyways.

What annoyed Kisame the most was when he saw a small object in the water move swiftly towards him. Unprepared, he wasn't even able to move much before he got hooked. In the ear. Through the ear.

Kisame's head popped up out of the water by itself, with a roar. He stood there in there in the river, astonished at what had just happened. He reached up to touch his ear, and sure enough, a hook was sticking in one side, and out the other. And it was attatched to fishing line. Heavy duty fishing line. And somebody was tugging on the line. Kisame felt suddenly enraged. He turned heel in the water to try to find the source.

The source giggled stupidly from where it sat on the edge of the river. Kisame's anger turned into a feeling of utter stupidity. A man, much smaller than Kisame, sat on the edge of the river. He had long, fluffy black hair that seemed to stick out all over the place like a goddamned porcupine. Even worse, he wore a mask that only had one eye hole. The mask was white, with a few red swirls decorating it. He was dressed in an old looking black kimono, even though he was sitting pretzel-style, and resembled an academy student. The front was open so you could see a little of the weirdo's chest, but nothing else. He didn't even have a fishing rod either. It was a long, dumb looking stick, with the line tied onto the end. He waved it around in amusement, still laughing.

"Hey, dipshit." Kisame hollered at the laughing man a little ways away, "Who the hell do you think you are?!"

The guy seemed to almost ignore Kisame's question. Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a keychain of a toy bear.

"I've been fishing for a long time here on this river. Never thought I'd catch a shark!" the man's voice was somewhat stuffy, and it stung Kisame's ears with annoyance. He didn't care who this senile dumbass was, he was gonna kill him. "Right Teddy? It's a big shark too. We'll eat good for a while."

Kisame yanked the hook out of his ear, not really caring for the sharp pain following it. He trudged through the river, back to where the crazy guy sat talking to his keychain. "Hey, I asked you a question! Who the hell do you think you are?!"

"I think I'm Tobi. I'm not entirely sure, but you said think, so I think it's okay not to fully really know." the masked man didn't even turn his head up. He sat there waving the stick around, watching the hook as it waved around above the water's surface. "By the way, I don't like blood in my river. You might wanna patch that up, Mr. Shark."

"Hmph." Kisame's anger was dwindling. This was the kind of guy he couldn't stay angry at, no matter how hard he tried. This guy was just so.... entertaining. Plus, he was bleeding a good bit, now that he looked at himself. Blood trickled down his neck, slid over his shoulder, then made a slow descent down his bare, muscular chest. Kisame stepped out of the river, standing next to the guy with the stick, whose apparent name was Tobi.

"So, why's a big shark like you wandering down my river, squishing all the cute fish?" Tobi asked, finally looking up at Kisame, but his head was at a funny angle, and it bothered Kisame.

"Don't call me that." Kisame spat first, to relieve himself of some amount of awkwardness. "I was on my way to the next town along the river."

"Oh. So, Mr. Kisame, are you gonna stay for dinner?" Tobi held up the keychain next to his face, and moved it around like it was talking.

Kisame was now officially disturbed. He hadn't even told this creep his name, but he knew it anyways. Not to mention, now that he tried, he couldn't sense any of this guy's chakra. Not one bit. And, for someone like Kisame with a mass amount of chakra and who took care of a living weapon that ate chakra, this was very uncomfortable.

"I don't think so. I have places to go, and people to-"

Kisame was cut off when he grunted. Tobi had taken his stupid ass stick and cracked it over Kisame's knee. Hard. Like, really hard. The kind of hard that you wouldn't expect from an ordinary stick.

"Wrong answer, Mr. Shark." Tobi growled suddenly, holding up the keychain. "Teddy didn't like your tone of voice."

Kisame grumbled in irritation, shaking out his knee quickly, trying to make it look like that didn't hurt. Oh, but it did. And it shouldn't have.

"Okay then! I bet Mr. Kisame Shark Man likes fish, doesn't he?" Tobi talked to his keychain, and made it nod in reply. "Well, we definitely have plenty of those, so it looks like it's going to be a great dinner!" Tobi stood up finally, wrapping the heavy-duty fishing line around his stick, and stuck the hook onto the top of it. Then, he tucked it under the loose tie of his kimono, and skipped towards the thick woods. Kisame, so unable to really think at the moment, followed after him.

____________________

"The forests of Konohagakure are the perfect place to live... Unless Konoha gets invaded by the spider monkeys from Iwa. Then I think everybody will be seriously fucked over and stuff. It'll make for some good primetime news programs." Kisame picked up very quickly that Tobi loved to hear himself talk. Or, he loved to talk in general. Or he was just crazy. All the unreal choices seemed to float around in Kisame's brain for a while, making his head hurt.

Tobi's home was a cabin in the middle of nowhere. It was composed of just one room, which served as a kitchen, had a bed, and had a small table in the middle, with three old chairs around it, which Tobi, the bear keychain, and Kisame all sat in. There were weird black-and-white photos up all over the walls, and newspaper clippings that appeared to be mostly from magazines from the Hidden Leaf Village. The walls were completely covered in all these things and more, like some old pin-ups of beautiful blonde women, and for some reason, one man. There was an old ceiling fan in the very center of the place, which seemed to be on all the time, and it seemed to be the only source of life in the place besides one window. However, that window was covered with an ugly orange curtain that looked stained at the bottom. To Kisame, it looked like blood. In the corner of the house there was a small television on top of a small bookshelf, which contained a variety of different books and magazines, most of which looked naughty. On the floor in front of it, there was a green bean bag chair with a large black cat occupying it's space, sleeping.

"That's my fluffy-kins." Tobi said, pointing to the large cat on the bean bag chair. "He's old and grumpy. Fat too. Eats all the food and more. I wanna kill that stupid thing, but it gets lonely out here sometimes, right Teddy?" Tobi picked up something off the floor, which looked like a miniature yo-yo, and threw it at the old cat. The cat made no movement or noise to even indicate that it was alive. Kisame didn't really like this very much.

Dinner had already been eaten, and Kisame had to admit, it wasn't that bad. He didn't burn the fish or anything. Nothing was poisoned. Still, compared to his own, practically gourmet cooking, Kisame thought it was pretty good.

"Anyways, uh, T-.... Tobi? Um, I really do have to get going. I have somebody I need to look for now." Kisame slowly stood up, but not all the way.

"Really?!" Tobi almost squeaked which Kisame only found odd. "Who?! Do I know him?"

"Um... You might. He's supposed to be around here somewhere." Kisame chuckled, flashing a half grin, which looked nearly like a regular one.

"What's his name?" Tobi inquired, putting his fingers together in front of his chest, kicking his feet up on the table. "Maybe... I can help you find him!"

This intrigued Kisame. "His name is Madara. I have no idea of his last name, except that it started with... A 'u', I think."

"Hmm..." Tobi scratched the chin of his mask, his voice twisting into the voice of a movie detective. "Yes, indeed... I do know a Madara..."

Kisame sat back down after hearing this. "Good. What can ya tell me about the guy?"

"Well..." Tobi said, gazing at Teddy the keychain, "Madara Uchiha is a very powerful and revered man. Famous to the world, especially in Konohagakure. It's said he started the Third Ninja World War with his organization Akatsuki, composed of at least ten other powerful members. Unfortunately, it's said that all ten died except for Madara himself. He's become somewhat peaceful, living here in the forests of Konohagakure. Only the people of this village know. Madara pledged to protect everyone in this village a long time ago in order to be able to live here, and has done so indeed. He drifts sometimes though - he's here for a week, gone for three, that kind of stuff. Very interesting man indeed..."

The way Tobi talked gave Kisame the impression that he was talking to someone completely different. He figured by now that that was normal. What a weirdo...

"You sure know your stuff." Kisame grinned, picking at Samehada's hilt. Samehada was starting to get restless. "Any idea if he's in town?"

For a moment, Tobi seemed to just stare at Kisame. Then, he tilted his head at a funny angle and made a very over-exagerated shoulder shrug. "I dunno. I don't know him that well... I do know he's in the process of training an apprentice, but I don't know who. Why you so interested anyways, Mr. Kisame Shark Man?"

"Eh, no reason." Kisame grinned, "But I do have to get going."

Kisame stood again, and headed towards the door.

"You're going to meet some very interesting people in your travels Kisame." Tobi said suddenly, his voice seeming slightly warped, which startled Kisame a little. "I bet you're going to help end our current world war. In fact, I know you will. You're powerful and all. Plus, you've had it pretty crappy your whole life, right?"

"Tobi, what the hell're you-"

"Don't get me wrong. I know what I'm talking about. For sure. Life's gonna get interesting for you, I bet. Have fun with it all. Don't let it go to your head though. You're not invincible, Mr. Shark." Tobi proceded to laugh, just like he had earlier.

Kisame didn't want to hear it anymore. He swung open the door and slammed it, without meaning to, on his way out. He trecked back through the woods the way he had come with Tobi, until he found the river. He had tripped and fumbled almost the whole way. Night was falling, and the moon reflected off of the water in an eerie sort of way. It seemed to be telling Kisame something, or at least that's what he thought. But he didn't try to listen. He just drifted into the water.

____________________

"So, Madara lives in the woods?"

"Yes sir." The woman nodded politely. She was a shop attendant at the local grocery store. "He comes by sometimes. He lives in a cabin in the middle of the woods, down the river a little he's not there, it looks like a completely abandoned house, but it isn't."

Kisame was quiet. Something about this was peculiar.

"My son can take you there, if you'd like. He visits Madara all the time." the woman smiled.

"Thanks..." Kisame muttered, taking a look at the kid when he came around the counter. It appeared to be a boy no older than ten.

Kisame followed this boy a good way out down the river, until they finally stopped.

"There's blood." the boy muttered, looking at the rocks. Kisame did as well, in slight shock. It was the blood from his ear from yesterday, which was patched up with bandages wrapped around his head under his Mist Village headband.

"We... turn here, kid?" Kisame looked up at the small path he had taken with Tobi the day before. Then, something caught Kisame's eye.

"What's the time, kid?" Kisame blurted, even though he knew around what time it was.

"About eight o'clock in the AM, sir." the kid, looking a little freaked out, didn't really look at Kisame. He wasn't as polite as his mother was. "Got a problem, sir?"

Kisame remembered when he got to his motel last night that it was nine o'clock at night. Kisame and the kid left the shop that day at seven...

'Eight o'clock last night, the moon was on the left side of the river. This morning...'

Kisame looked up. The sun was high in the sky, on the left side.

"...Genjutsu..." Kisame muttered, then his eyes got wide. He sped off up the rocky, branch ridden trail, the kid hollering after him. He tripped up many times, but finally made it to the top. The door to the cabin was ajar slightly. Kisame nearly broke the door off it's hinges throwing it open. The house was dusty and dark, the light bulb on the roof was blown out. There was no pictures on the walls, ceiling fan, television, or bean bag chair. The table looked very old, and there were two chairs tipped over next to it. Under the table, a cat sat hissing at Kisame. Everything looked old and abandoned. There was no sign of 'Tobi'.

Kisame stared for a very long time. Without saying anything, he turned and walked out of the house. His fists shook. Samehada began to wiggle slightly, making an echoing 'gigigi' noise. With a loud roar, Kisame turned and smashed down the tree nearest the house. It broke instanly from it's trunk and in half, flying back into other trees and knocking them down. It was like dominoes, but with extremely loud crunches and booms accompanying it.

Kisame tried to take in deep breathes, but it was proving worthless. His anger was soaring. He had been tricked, fooled, decieved, played with like some retarded little toy that hadn't known any better. Any better.

He had let Madara Uchiha slip from his fingers, and he hadn't the simplest idea. Samehada would have to go hungry. Again.

"Damn..." Kisame growled at the trees, sky, and house. "God DAMN IT ALL!"

The peaceful little village by the river became frightened. Some unknown monster lurked in the forest that night. And destroyed all of their trees.

Long time no upload. This will be a 10+ chapter story. My profile has a checklist, if you're interested. I hope you enjoy something new. Reviews are needed. ( All thee characters, settings, and themes/ideas above are (c) Masashi Kishimoto)