Authors Note: This story came from a prompt I did on Tumblr called Songs and Swan Queen. You are welcome to follow me there at "burningexistence". fusrohdance suggested the song "Save You" by Kelly Clarkson, so this song is what I wrote this story to. I would recommend putting it on repeat while you read. I do not own anything affiliated with Once Upon a Time or the selected song. If I use lines from the show or music, the OUAT/song writers get that credit. Hope you enjoy – burningexistence.

It Was You

The sky had gone from light to dusk, the setting sun making splashes of orange and pink spread across the horizon. Emma watched the slowly lowering sun and dug her toes into the warm sand. She dug her hands in as well, lifting fistfuls of it into the air and then letting it trickle through the cracks in her fingers, like an hourglass counting down time. In fact, she did only have a limited amount of time. They would have to head home soon, a knowledge that didn't sit well in her stomach. Why? She didn't want to think too much about that—not yet. Because Emma knew why, but did the woman next to her feel the same?

She knew that Regina's fingers were resting on the sand close to hers, she knew how easy it would be to cover them with her own. And she knew how much she wanted to do just that. But she resisted the urge and looked to the eyes next to her.
"Regina?"

"Yes, Emma?" she asked, turning her own eyes.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, not much really."

Emma nudged her with her shoulder, digging her toes further into the sand. "Oh come on, you must be thinking about something."

Regina smiled, a somber look on her face, a faraway look in her eyes. "Maybe later," she said, and looked away from Emma to the setting sun. "I should probably be getting home. Henry will be back from the stables soon, and I don't think your parents want to have him for a sleep over two nights in a row." She made to get up, but Emma grabbed for her hand. When she saw the shocked expression on Regina's face, she dropped it just as quickly.

"Uh….sorry," she said, turning her face so that her red cheeks were hopefully less visible. "I was just going to ask that before you do, can we maybe go somewhere? I want to show it to you. It's not very far from here. Henry actually took me there once." She picked at a loose thread on her shorts and continued. "And besides, Henry isn't going to be home until late. They're watching The Incredibles."

Regina scrunched her eyebrows, taking a moment before she replied. She watched the remaining half-circle of sun disappear beneath the horizon, wondering where this night would take her. There was a small part of her that was hesitant to go with Emma. But mostly, she was curious. And if it was somewhere Henry liked, she knew she would probably like it as well. And besides, she figured, the company there wasn't awful either. So she stood and brushed the sand from the back of her jeans.

"Lead the way, Miss Swan," she said, gesturing her hand out in front of her. "But I warn you, if you plan on leading me to some dark alley or cave or something to get rid of me, I will use magic. And I'm quite skilled there."

Emma snorted as she stood and wiped the sand from her own pants. "Yes, Regina, because I have such a desire to 'get rid' of you." She began to walk west, still on the beach but towards the forest. "Listen, I know I drive you nuts, and I know you probably want to kill me half the time, but actually…." she paused, not knowing quite how to say what she wanted to. "Actually, I can't imagine having you dead," Emma said, glancing over her shoulder to make sure Regina was following. "So no, I'm not taking you in the forest to kill you."

Regina laughed, a sound Emma wouldn't mind hearing every second of every day. "Okay, good. And also, I don't want to kill you."

"If you say so. But," Emma said, a smirk on her face and a million thoughts in her head, "I wouldn't mind experiencing this 'skill' you talk about."

And to that, Regina had no words.

After they had been walking for a few minutes, deeper into the surrounding trees and further away from the sand, they emerged at a hidden playground, a little rundown from time, but cute all the same. Regina cocked her head to the side and was about to ask why and when Henry had found such a place, but Emma stopped and turned around.

"Do you remember when I first got here? When you hated me and wanted to pretty much kill me?"

"Yes, I remember well. But I—"

"He took me here one day, after his other playground was destroyed. I think that's when he found this one." Emma looked to her feet and softly kicked a small rock. "I think he just wanted something he could call his again. He took me over to that swing and made me sit on it while he tried to push me." Emma laughed at the thought, remembering how Henry kept digging his small sneakers in the dirt as he leaned his whole body into Emma's back. "It was sweet, and ever since, I come here often and swing. It helps me think. I don't have to be the sheriff here. I don't have to be the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming here. I don't have to be the Savior. I can just be me, if only for a moment."

Emma went quiet, letting Regina look closer at the playground. It was small, about the size of Henry's first playground. It was also made of wood, untouched by the sun, so the color had remained dark. The whole playground was in the shape of a swan, and on the swan's back was a bridge made of a lighter wood with rope handles running the length of it. At the top of the swan's head, which you had to reach by climbing a few stairs, there was a crown. From this crown, a white slide emerged, running to the ground where it hit nothing but dirt. And directly across from the end of the slide was the swing.

"Regina?"

"Hmmm?" she mumbled, glancing to Emma.

"I thought maybe you'd like to swing for a minute?"

Regina thought for a moment, trying to decide what Emma's motives were. But after a few seconds, she stopped. She stopped analyzing. She stopped over-thinking. She knew she trusted her, and that was enough.

"Yes, I'd like that."

Emma smiled and nodded her head to the slide, beckoning Regina to follow her. Once they reached it, Regina hesitantly sat down, feeling only slightly awkward. Was she supposed to start swinging? How did one do that again? Should she just stay still? She grabbed the chains next to her and sighed, this is what she needed.

Emma walked behind her, wrestling the butterflies in her stomach to settle down. She placed her hands beneath Regina's on the chains, pulled back, and let go. She didn't this multiple times, always making sure to pull and push on the chains, but careful not to touch Regina's hands.

"You know Emma," Regina said, sounding like she had a smile on her face. "You can put your hands on my back and push. I don't bite."

Emma laughed. "I wasn't sure, didn't want to freak you out." When Regina reached her again, instead of placing her hands on the chains Emma put them gently on her back and pushed forward. Regina twitched and curled her hands tighter around the chains.

"When you came here, you were right, I wanted you gone." Regina paused, thinking which way would be best to proceed. "But that's not the case anymore, Emma. I'm not the same person I was then."

Emma continued to place her hands gently on the woman's back, pushing her forward, and forward, and forward again. She listened intently, very curious about the point Regina was trying to get to. She found it amusing how frazzled Regina got when she tried to talk about her feelings. Normally, she was the most eloquent, composed speaker.

"And I know how happy you make our son," she said, thinking about the time she walked in on them playing a game called Clue. Apparently the butler did it with a candlestick. She elapsed into silence then, comfortable in the quiet. There was nothing to say for the moment, and both women became lost in their own thoughts.

Regina noticed the way her skin tingled each time Emma pushed her. She noticed the way Emma's hands trembled. She noticed how comfortable she felt, in a new place in the forest in the dark. And she remembered what she was thinking earlier.

"Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"Earlier, when you asked what I was thinking about…. it was Henry. And me. And you, in a way." She was glad Emma could not see her face. "I was thinking back to when I first got him, and how hard it was for a while. He cried, all the time, and most of the time nothing I did ever seemed to help." She looked to her feet and tried to keep her eyes dry.

Emma's continued to push, but did so ever so slightly, slowing down the woman on the swing so she could listen. She decided to push from the chains again, not knowing if Regina needed comfort or space. Her heart felt sad and her stomach felt heavy.

"Looking back, I realize it would have been nice to have someone there to help me. To help me on the nights where he wouldn't eat, and the nights where he cried so much that I began to cry. I did everything by myself. And to be honest, that was how I preferred it at the time." She hoped that what she said didn't sound awful. "That's what I was thinking about earlier, that in retrospect, it would have been nice to have some help." She dug her shoes into the dirt, bringing herself to an abrupt stop.

"And do you know who the first person to come to my mind was, when I was thinking about someone to help me?"

Emma shook her head, knowing Regina wouldn't see her, but she could find no words.

Regina slid her hands down the chain, placing them over Emma's, and waiting to see if she would pull them away. When she didn't, Regina continued.

"It was you, Emma. That's that I was thinking about. You. You were the one I started to picture things with. You were the one I could picture holding Henry while he cried and I prepared his bottle. You were the one I pictured helping him to learn that going potty on the linoleum was wrong." Regina was now talking fast, flitting from one idea to the next, not sure how the woman behind her was reacting. "You were the one I pictured drinking wine with late at night after I picked up the countless toys from the floor and cleaned the countless messes from his tantrums, when he would throw applesauce at the wall or milk at my plants." She sucked in a deep breath and gripped Emma's hands tighter, trying to control the tremble of her own. Tears spilled from her eyes, but she didn't bother wiping them away—she didn't want to let go. "I don't know what this means fully. I don't know what you're thinking. But I do know that for me, it's you. I think it's always been you." She let go of Emma's hands and spun herself around to face her.

Her heart seemed to stop and her hands fell into her lap. Emma was crying, a look of shock on her face. Regina started to panic, knowing that she must have gone too far. God, why did I have to say that?

"Crap, Emma, I'm sorry, I shouldn't—"

But then, Emma smiled. She lowered herself onto her knees in front of the woman on the swing and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She picked up Regina's hands from her lap and held them softly, running her thumb over the smooth skin. She ignored Regina's soft gasp and looked into her dark eyes, reveling in the way she could continuously get lost in them.

"I wish I could have been there. I wish that more than anything." She reached up and wiped a tear from Regina's face with her fingers. "And for me," she said, grabbing hold of her hand once again and squeezing. "It has always been you, too."

And with that, she brought Regina's hand to her lips and placed a slow, delicate kiss to the back of it.