This Could Be a Catastrophe Chapter 1: Finals Are Never Going To Be Finished, a naruto fanfic

AN: Seriously, I hope that you can give this a chance. Updates may be slow and sporadic, but hopefully I can make it into good content for you guys. Reviews are love!

There was a knock on the front door. I didn't have a doorbell or at least one that actually worked. You really need to replace the damn batteries.

It was late, like seriously late. Not that I was anywhere near asleep, considering I needed to finish not only part of my final artwork but a really long essay that now needed a bibliography. Dragging myself up from my desk and towards the front door (next to which a supposedly unsharpened, never used, just a cosplay prop, sword sat next to. You know, just in case.)

'What on earth?'

A box of cats.

And I mean that literally. There was a box of cats sitting on the front porch of the house that I lived in, left to me by an uncle who had passed away several years earlier. Truthfully I was lucky to live here, considering all things that had happened in the past. But, cats? Why cats? Why not cage full of birds or a box of puppies?

The cats were a rowdy bunch, each seeming to be perfectly individual but also in unison, especially when I opened the lid and they all became silent. The range of colours in the box was astounding, most of them couldn't possibly be real; they had to be fake. A beautiful small violet cat, proud and seemingly female laying off to the side next to the cat who seemed to be the leader, an orange tabby cat with piercing purple eyes that I could have sworn there were rings upon rings within. The largest cat, an aquamarine coloured cat sat next to a smaller black cat, who seemed to be incredibly bored staring out at me. The loudest cat seemed to be another tabby, black with an orange face that was playfully pawing at an irritated blond cat, smaller than the black one but larger than the red one sitting next to them. A very large brown cat was glaring at a hissing silver cat with their multi-coloured eyes, whilst a half black and half white, almost Oreo-like, the cat was shaking their head in annoyance.

'You are all very strange cats.'

As soon as I spoke, they all looked straight towards me. Slightly unnerved, I gently picked up the box causing the cats inside to take a small tumble; each falling onto the one beside them.

'Sorry about that.'

The cats themselves were lucky that I wasn't holding anything else, realistically they could have easily been dropped. They really weren't light to carry, especially considering there were ten of them. I had been going to the gym, so I felt as though I couldn't use that as an excuse.

After getting the cats inside and putting them on the floor of the lounge room, thanking the heavens for whatever god was out there for the forethought of wooden floorboards and polished concrete with heating underneath, I grabbed a fair few cans of tuna out of the cupboard and put them into some containers. The cats probably hadn't eaten in a while, and I didn't have a lot of experience with cats (Birds. Yes. Fish. Yes. Cats. Definitely not) so I was going purely from a stereotype.

'I'm not going to pick you lot out of this box.' I stated, putting the tuna filled containers on the floor and grabbing a pair of scissors to slice the sides of the box. 'I'm going to cut the sides of the box so that you can walk out by yourselves.'

The sight of the open pair of scissors had them backing up, except for one. The silver cat in all their wisdom or stupidity decided to sniff and then lick the blades. Apparently satisfied with the blades, the silver cat then, too, backed up. Now I could open the box up without getting attacked, at least this was my hope. After slicing the box open, the cats made their way out of the box cautiously, as if expecting to be attacked. I pushed the glass containers filled with tuna closer towards the cats and sat on the floor.

'Here is some tuna. I have no idea what cats actually eat, so I'm most definitely stereotyping. But hey, I'll look it up later and go in the morning into town to actually get some proper food for you lot.'

The orange faced cat was the first to go up to the tuna, sniffing it slowly and then, apparently finding it acceptable, diving in. The rest of the cats followed behind, although they definitely didn't drop their guards, as they kept looking around the room every so often and up at me. What on earth had happened to these cats to make them so wary of people? I get it, humanity is cruel and the world isn't always that much better.

'Hope you don't mind, but I have final artworks due this week and I'm both a procrastinator and a perfectionist so nothing gets done right when I want to get it done right.'

I could have sworn that the blond cat and the red cat perked up a little at the word artwork, but I was pretty tired and could have been imagining it all. It really wouldn't surprise me. Tea was the only thing fuelling my conscious at the moment, that and the fact that I didn't really want to be hallucinating the cats that were now looking at me like I was insane.

I must have been staring at them for a while and my first instinct was to attempt a Force mind trick which probably made them think I was even more insane than previously thought.

'This is not the droid you are looking for. Damn, I really need to get this work done otherwise I'm going to either fail because nothing gets handed in or I die because of lack of sleep and far too much caffeine in my bloodstream.'

Standing up and gathering supplies for the next stage of my work, as things were scattered everywhere all over my desk, plus studio happened to also be in the lounge room so I didn't have to go very far, dismantling the box before throwing it on the floor beneath the unfinished canvas. Better for me to be safe than sorry, regardless of whether or not the flooring was easily cleaned (unlike carpet). Oil paint was hard.

A loud crash was heard.

I turned around and saw the container filled with tuna go flying and landing just short of the paper in front of my easel. A guilty looking orange faced cat stared at me, whilst cat like snickering could be heard from the largest cat and the silver cat. I shook my head. I probably should find a spot for the cats to sleep for the night and so I could think clearly.

Dammit, I'm an artist, not a cleaner!

Paraphrasing Doctor Leonard "Bones" McCoy was honestly the best thing in the world, except for my obsession with certain anime and manga series (even if I didn't particularly like how some of them ended).

The orange faced cat wandered over to me and started meowing, fairly pathetically. I suppose that they thought that it would be the best way to apologise. I leant down to scratch behind the cat's ear, with the orange faced cat leaning into my hand.

'Hey it's okay, I'll clean up and then I'll find you lot a place to sleep for the night and then in the morning I'll figure the rest out.'

Standing up out of my crouch, I figured I wasn't going to get any work done with the cats as they were and with how tired I was artwork and essay just weren't going to happen.

'Sleep is definitely a good idea.'

Sleep, the final frontier. I should probably stop thinking in Star Trek quotes.

'We seem to be cats.'

Kisame looked up and stared the now feline self of the shinobi opposite him.

'Thank you for pointing out the obvious dipshit.'

'Fuck you!'

Hidan hissed at Kakuzu, promptly starting a hissing fight with the occasional swiping of the claw from both parties. Kisame shook his furry head and sighed. Was it too much to ask for to have those two not be constantly at each other's throats? Probably not. This was the Akatsuki after all.

The Akatsuki happened to be all in a very cramped box, mostly cramped due to the size of both Kisame and Kakuzu, but cramped nonetheless, placed by who knows what (or who) outside of an old house, built with an architectural design that was very unfamiliar to the shinobi turned cats. (Except for Hidan, but he wasn't going to say that the temples of Jashin had very similar outwards appearances.) It was incredibly dark out, perhaps around midnight, but the slight light from the patio lanterns helped to show where each Akatsuki member was.

The door that the box was sitting in front of opened suddenly, showing a girl of about eighteen or nineteen years old with dirty blonde hair pulled up in what was probably meant to be a messy bun but was more mess than bun and cool grey eyes. Red and gold paint splattered up the side of her face and on the edge of her black rimmed glasses. All the Akatsuki became silent, wondering what was going to happen next.

'What on earth?'

The accent that the Akatsuki heard was not something that they had ever heard before, but most just dismissed it. Hidan, however, didn't dismiss it, the accent sounded vaguely familiar. It sounded very similar to Jashin-sama and how he spoke.

'Where the fuck are we?' Hidan hissed.

'Shut up, moron!'

Kakuzu almost swiped at Hidan, but thought better of it realising that the girl was about to speak again.

'You are all very strange cats.'

As one, the Akatsuki turned towards the girl. Deidara had an affronted look on his feline face; he almost went to say something but found himself laying atop of Sasori. As did Hidan and Kakuzu, and Kisame and Itachi. Tobi and Zetsu, surprisingly didn't say a word (neither did Konan or Pein).

'Get off me, brat!'

'Sorry danna, un!'

'Fucker!'

'Please get off of me, Kisame-san.'

'I'll kill you.'

The Akatsuki found themselves being lifted from the ground in an impressive show of strength from a civilian, at least that it was they hoped.

'Sorry about that.'

A rush of warm air came through the box, signalling to the cats that they were now inside the strange house. A few more bumps and they were placed on the floor. None of the Akatsuki could see what was going on and so a scuffle broke out. All was going horribly until.

'All of you be silent!'

Pein glared at the members of his organisation. Why were these shinobi being incredibly childish? They're all S-ranked criminals! He thought to himself and shared a commiserating look with Konan.

Idiots.

The smell of fish wafted through the air and many of the stomachs of the now cats growled. The shinobi would have blushed if they could have, but yet they could not.

'I'm not going to pick you lot out of this box.' The girl stated.

'Wise choice.' Zetsu, for the first time since being turned into a cat stated. Apparently both halves were in agreement. The rest of his commentary was cut short by the sound of glass containers being placed on the floor, the fish smell getting stronger.

'I'm going to cut the sides of the box so that you can walk out by yourselves.'

The Akatsuki backed away, not frightened, but wary of the blade wielding girl. They wouldn't be able to fight in their current state.

'What are you doing, moron?'

The rest of the Akatsuki looked at Kakuzu then at the moron in question, who for some reason wasn't as wary (nothing unusual, considering how immortal the moron was) as the others. And surprised the rest of them by sniffing the blades of the scissors and promptly licking them.

'They're not poisoned, nor are they sharp enough to actually do any proper damage.'

The comment surprised the rest of the Akatsuki. Had Hidan actually done something to try and protect the rest of the group from a potentially dangerous opponent? Apparently so, as he too backed up whilst the girl hacked away at one side of the box.

Despite the reassurance that the pair of scissors weren't actually poisoned, no one trusted the girl enough to taste the food.

'Why don't you try it Tobi, un.'

'But sempai! It could kill Tobi!'

'That is a risk we will be willing to take.' And with that Zetsu pushed, or nudged Tobi forward.

Tobi was cautious and took a slight nibble of the tuna and suddenly dived into the food.

'It's okay! Tobi's okay!'

'Pity.'

(None of the Akatsuki would own up to saying this, but all would admit to have thought it later on.)

With that, the rest of the Akatsuki all took a few steps forward and devoured the tuna set in front of them. None of them actually dropped their guards, though. When one had some food, another would be looking up and around so as to spot danger.

'Hope you don't mind, but I have final artworks due this week and I'm both a procrastinator and a perfectionist so nothing gets done right when I want to get it done right.'

Artworks? Was the thought that went through both the artists' minds; both of their faces perked up and they looked at the girl with far more interest than before.

'Perfectionist and procrastinator? How does that work out?' Kisame asked generally.

'Probably not very well at all.' Answered the ever quiet Konan.

The rest of the Akatsuki looked at the girl who seemed lost in thought, as she hadn't stopped staring at the cats. Shaking her head, she seemed to notice her trance and said (along with an odd hand motion that was more like a wave than anything).

The girl was gathering supplies when Tobi made a glass container filled with tuna go flying in the direction of an easel set up with a half completed canvas.

'How the fuck did you manage to make it fly?'

Hidan seemed to be the only one who could talk, as the rest of the Akatsuki stared on in utter amazement as Tobi made a complete fool of himself, whining and meowing pathetically and rubbing up against the girl in order to appease her.

'Hey it's okay, I'll clean up and then I'll find you lot a place to sleep for the night and then in the morning I'll figure the rest out.'

After getting a closer look at the girl, she seemed absolutely exhausted.

'No wonder she's willing to let go of Tobi's crap if she looks that tired, un.'

'Art is a long process, brat. But you wouldn't know this, would you?'

'Stop! No more discussions about art! Not today!'

Pein had had enough of the art discussion for a life time.

'Sleep is definitely a good idea.'

That was something that all could agree on.

AN: Cats? Seriously? Another 'Akatsuki-turned-cats' fanfiction? This is a remake of a story I wrote a long time ago, but nothing is the same only the initial concept. Also, I may move a few of my other stories over and continue to post on both sites (AO3 and FanFiction). Hope that you enjoy! Please leave a review and follow!