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Set at the end of the Okita Mitsuba Arc

Small Comforts

Kondo watched Hijikata work from the door. Night had fallen but he continued to methodically work his way through the papers that were before him. He looked busy and uncaring, but Kondo knew Hijikata. Knew he was grieving for Mitsuba – he could see it in Hijikata's dull gaze and mechanical movements, the tightness to his mouth and the shadow under his eyes. Not to mention the physical pain he was in having been shot and beaten mere hours ago.

There was also the fact he hadn't noticed Kondo standing sake bottle in hand. It was only when he cleared his throat and walked into the room that Hijikata looked up.

"I'm just finishing this up before I go to bed," he lied smoothly.

"Have a drink with me," said Kondo putting two sakazuki down on the desk.

"No, thank you."

"It's been a long day, Toshi."

Hijikata took a deep breath.

"You're not going to leave until I do," he said. He didn't want to think about today – his body and soul ached.

Kondo shook his head as he poured sake for two.

"Okay," said Hijikata and picked up one of the sakazuki and knocked it back. He wasn't in the mood for pleasantries and he felt Kondo should know him by now and not force them upon him. Right now he wanted to work.

He put the sakazuki down and saw that Konda hadn't drunk his. He eyes narrowed, what was Kondo playing at?

"Why aren't you drinking?" he asked.

"The drink was just for you," said Kondo getting to his feet and coming to sit next to Hijikata. "Doctor's orders."

"What have you given me?" asked Hijikata, his eye not leaving the offending bottle.

"Painkillers from the hospital."

Hijikata turned to yell at Kondo but the sudden movement gave him pause. His battered body protested at the sudden movement.

"Why?" he asked, hand on his desk.

"To help you sleep," said Kondo. "You were going to work all night. Use the pain to keep yourself awake."

Hijikata didn't deny it. Turns out Kondo does know him.

"You know who I sometimes miss?" asked Kondo.

Hijikata shook his head.

"Thorny boy."

Hijikata hadn't been called that in years – why was Kondo bringing it up now? Now of all times. Kondo shuffled behind Hijikata and pulled him against his chest. Hijikata remained unyielding but it was a useless effort, he could feel the drugs starting to work. They eased the pain and tiredness began to slip in. Kondo rested his head on Hijikata's.

"Don't," whispered Hijikata. "I don't want… that anymore."

"I'm not interested in that, as you put it," said Kondo shifting Hijikata into a more comfortable position.

"What do you want?" asked Hijikata resisting Kondo's attempts to help him relax.

"Your hair was longer then, I could actually run my fingers through it."

"Why do you miss Thorny boy?" asked Hijikata moving his head away from Kondo's hand.

"Because when he was lost he would come to me for comfort," said Kondo.

Hijikata tried to leave Kondo's arms but the Shinsengumi commander took hold of his chin and tilted his face upward.

"It made me happy that someone needed me."

Hijikata looked away.

"Even though he loved someone else," continued Kondo. "He trusted him with his sadness."

Hijikata didn't resist when Kondo pulled him closer and kissed him gently on the mouth. The kiss was full of old memories and sadness. Kondo pulled back when he felt the tears sliding down Hijikata's face. He used his thumb to wipe them away.

"Be Thorny boy for tonight and trust me with your sadness," whispered Kondo.

Kondo held Hijikata as he cried for Mitsuba.