A/N: Howdy, ya'll! I've been playing Dragonball Xenoverse as of late, and this idea sort of just came to me in a dream, as it were. I've been suffering through a bad breakup, and I must've eaten something weird, or played WAY too much of this game, because I had a weird dream.

Naturally it gave me an idea, and so I made a few tweaks to it. I'm honestly bracing myself for the backlash of even trying this, but in all honesty, I simply couldn't bear to let the idea die.

I thought of doing a Naruto crossover with this-let me know if I should!-but then I realized the aspect that truly makes the game great is that its you playing it; after all, you, the player are essentially the one Trunks wished for, in essence. Sure, it might be nice to write what everyone else was writing, but then I realized something; something I haven't done before. So...

Again, be sure to play the game yourself or at least familiarize yourself with it...

...else you'll be hopelessly lost. I'll leave it to ya'll to guess which aspects of my life written here are fiction and which aren't! Sorry if its short! Expect much more to come! As this is my first self-insert story, PLEASE BE NICE! I worked really, really, REALLY hard on this!

"I have a tail. A tail. Oh, dear god...

~?!

Wish

I never believed in heroes.

Sure I admired them as a child, these icons of old, fictitious and otherwise. They were beacons of light in the darkness that was my life; ideals and icons in an otherwise bleak time. Who wouldn't want to be a hero? You save the day, beat the bad guys, save the world, and get the girl. Isn't that nice?

But reality has a way of hitting naive fools like me right in the hopes and dreams. It likes to take the mirror of your life and shatter it before your very eyes; beat those broken shards down so deep you don't even know they exist anymore.

Nope, I never believed in heroes. By the time I was an adult, I didn't even want to.

There, I said it. Monologue over. Plain and simple.

Perhaps now I can explain how I became one...

It all started with a game. Pretty harmless, right?

Wrong!

I confess, I'm a major Dragonball fan. I've watched the show, read the manga, adored everything and everything about the fighting genre since I was a boy. I even took karate lessons, clawing my way to a black bet in my teenage years-long before I had to work two jobs to make ends meet.

Unfortunately, I hadn't touched an actual game since the PS2 era. Ah, good times, those. Ultimate Tenkaichi ultimately drove me away from that scene for awhile; because let's face it, when you play crap-shoot like that with the combat system it'd ruin just about anyone's perception of the franchise. After that, between being engaged in home renovations and working all the time, I simply didn't have the hours to devote to gaming as I once did.

But anywho, back to the matter at hand.

Dragonball Xenoverse; when I finally scratched up enough dow and time to play it, I found myself pleasantly surprised by the content. This! Game! Is! Awesome! Nearly every waking moment not otherwise dedicated to work or my exceedingly distant bride-to-be was spent gaming. In no time at all I had three characters, a namek, male saiyan, even a frost demon-or Arcosian to those who prefer the term!-and found that this game, for all of the few flaws it had, was actually awesome.

Quite frankly, it was an escape. An escape from Walmart, construction work, and the books I wrote on the side. Insane, right? Who needs all these jobs-am I right? Well, how else do you expect to pay for a wedding?! I was getting married in the fall, so naturally, I needed all the cash I could scrape together. And for awhile I was content. I still didn't play all that much-maybe an hour, or two a day-worked, wrote my stories when I had a chance, and spent the rest of my off hours with that special woman who, unbeknownst to my family, I thought was the love of my life.

Until the bitch left me for some trucker in Arizona.

...

...

...

...yup. That happened. Just like that.

I returned late from work one such night to find her gone, her clothes packed, every bit of jewelry I'd ever bought her taken...

...and the note on my bed.

That hated, cursed piece of paper, one I damn to this very day. I still remember it, reading those jagged words:

"I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore. We come from two different worlds and...I just can't do it. We're too different; I tried being normal but I can't I can't just can't. I'm sorry. So, so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you but I met someone else. Someone from my hometown. You don't know him-

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!

Whatever else she might've written was torn to shreds in the next three seconds.

For a long moment, I didn't know what to do. I just stood there, feeling my life fall to pieces. Gone. Just like that. Well...fuck. A distant crackle of thunder echoed that thought. Without want or warning. Numb, I left the bedroom, stumbling into the den...

...and strangely enough, my Xbox 360 left on. Bitch! My first thought was that she'd done something to that, too. In my anger, I nearly smashed it. Only a supreme effort of will kept me from flying into a fit of rage. To my surprise, all she'd done was queue up a game Dragonball Xenoverse and create a character for herself. It was her.

Serah, or at least as close as she could've made a saiyan version of herself in the game. Strangely enough, another note awaited me, but I ruthlessly stomped it underfoot.

I found myself staring back at her, those dark, bewitching green eyes set in a heart-shaped face, framed by a long curtain of ebon tresses, a cocky half-smile tugging on her lips as she stared back at me; her small body wrapped in an orange-blue gi vaguely reminscent of Goku's. Bah, I liked Vegeta better. All hail the prince of Saiyans! But she'd always liked Goku...

For a moment, just a moment, I felt a painful tug in my heart. Another crackle of thunder. Jeez, that storm really was getting close. And yet still, my attention was drawn to the screen.

Odd. I didn't recall her ever creating such a character before. So why make one now, then leave? My first instinct was to delete it. After all, she was gone now, and lord knew I had precious little space on my hard drive already. As my finger hovered over the button in question, however, a glimmer of hesitation took me. Looking back, I couldn't quite say what it was; only that I didn't press that button when I should have. Instead, out of some forlorn desire perhaps, I chose CREATE instead.

Reeeeaaaaaaaaaaaally should've turned the console off then, Ryan. But did I? Nope! Well, I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Like so many of those self-insert fics I oh so secretly enjoy; reality decided to take a backseat and let fate have her way with me.

Lightning.

It must have been lightning that struck my apartment; because nothing else made sense. One moment my finger was pressing the button, breathing life into Serah's character. The next, I was on the ground and all hell broke loose.

Next thing I knew, there was pain.

Every muscle clamped down, every cell of my being spasming in white-hot agony as my vision went black. Something exploded. So did I. Then, rising over the agony of my shout; a voice came. I could've sworn I'd had heard it before...

"Now, warrior, you have been summoned! Come forth!

Oh fuck me-

My first reaction when I woke wasn't pleasant by any means.

My mouth instinctively opened and inhaled, ready to spew curses, only to inhale liquid instead. I promptly spat it out, my eyes bursting open. Blurry images greeted me, followed by a profound realization. Water. Why, then, am I underwater? I hung there, disbelieving, trying to recall how or why I'd suddenly found myself immersed in the cooling liquid.

The last thing I remember was...wow. I really didn't remember much of anything beyond that blinding eternity of pain. Now I was...swimming, apparently?

Now, see, I knew that didn't make any sense. It couldn't. I'd played Xenoverse time and time again, and I remembered no such scene. Not at all. Believe me, I'd beaten this game forwards, frontwards and back. Such a scene could not, would not, and did not exist. There was no underwater scene here, and I certainly shouldn't be able to feel anything-

After that life-changing epitome, I realized something else.

I couldn't breathe.

Lungs burning!

Flailing madly I shot toward what I hoped was the surface, strong kicks carrying me towards the light. In my haste to escape I cleared the water a little too high; flopping onto the bank with a gasp. Huh. It didn't hurt as much as I'd expected it to.

I lay there for a long moment, chest heaving madly-why in blazes did it feel so heavy-struggling to catch my breath. A harsh voice coughed behind me, demanding my attention. Unthinking, I scrambled upright.

"Well...I'm definitely not in Kansas anymore...

Indeed, I found myself standing on a stone path that trailed off to a vastly green environment, surrounded by an equally bright sky with different planets floating within it. Once more that mighty voice thundered behind me, eliciting a sharp, very unmanly yelp of surprise. Putting that thought aside, I spun about, eyes tracking for the noise. Sure enough, there he was. Shenron. You know, the dragon? Big, green, scaly thingy? One who grants wishes? THAT Shenron.

My mind gibbered madly-momentarily struck dumb. It was like seeing the Eternal Dragon for the very first time. Just...

...wow.

Those eerie red eyes gazed at me for a moment longer, brightening.

"Your wish has now been granted!" he thundered, "Farewell!"

"Wish what now?! I didn't make any-

Too late.

I could've sworn the smug bastard smiled as he disappeared, seven dragonballs shooting upwards from the pedestal, scattering away into the sky. I stared after them, slack-jawed, my hand still outstretched, as though I could somehow grab those seven spheres and bring him back, demand an explanation.

That was when it hit me.

This dainty limb did not belong to me. I wasn't exactly muscular by any means, but I considered myself somewhat fit. The limb I was looking at was small, its hand sheathed in a red, fingerless glove. Twitching, I risked a glance downward-and sure enough, found myself staring at a blue-orange gi. Most notably, at the slight swell protruding from it. My hand shot backwards, touching the ebon curtain of wet hair current plastered to my back, touching tresses that did not belong there.

Not mine.

I risked a haphazard poke at my chest, flinching slightly at the strange sensation it evoked.

Not. Mine.

One last time I reached backwards, only to find a brown, furry appendage hovering just over my rear. My eyes nearly bulged out of my head, snapping toward the tail.

DEFINITELY! NOT! MINE!

The voice that emerged was most certainly not my own, either. Bell-like and soft, tinged now with disbelief, it exclaimed loudly:

"Oh, FUCK me! FUCK! Fuck you Serah!" I ranted loudly, stomping at the ground. "Fuuuuuuuuuuuu-huh?" To my surprise that singular stomp had actually shattered the earth, creating a small, bowl-sized crater beneath my foot. Huh, indeed.

My attention was still fixated upon this new, horrid development when I heard the footsteps approach.

"He did it!" A familiar voice cried. "The wish really worked!"

My head snapped around hard enough to give me whiplash. Once again I found myself staring a legend; but this one hit a good deal closer to home. Trunks. The name snapped into my head immediately; not the foolish pansy of a boy from the Buu saga, or that piece of crap from GT, but the actual trunks from the Android Saga, tall-at least to my current height!-and imposing, veritably towering over me by at least a head. Kind, azure eyes fixated on me, perfectly calm, cool, and collected.

If only I could feel that calm again...

"Whoa, easy there." Trunks soothed at me, apparently seeing my panicked expression. "You can relax. Really. Its okay." No! No, it is NOT, my mind wailed! N-Not okay! At all! "I was the one who brought you here with that wish; you like you could be pretty powerful."

I deadpanned, not trusting my new voice.

Oh, sure. Powerful. Just inside the game, just trapped by some freak accident-

Oh.

Crap.

I was stuck in the game. Trapped. Maybe forever. The realization nearly bowled me over, even worse than the discovery of my new body. Words failed me. Sense failed me. I, a normal, average human being, was now trapped in a world that by the laws of physics, should not even exist. A world of fiction. A place apart from reality. Oh bugger. Oh, sweet, bloody bugger...

"I...ah...

"Hey," I stiffened as a hand touched my shoulder as I started to hyper-ventihlate, no doubt trying to talk me down from what was clearly a panic attack. "I know its a lot to take in, "Yeah, no kidding! "Just try and take deep breaths." Under his guidance I willed myself not to explode. Under any other circumstance I might've reacted better, but waking up in a new-freakin' female!-body, in a world that you'd never thought to be real...

"I have no idea where to start." I sputtered. Alright, champ, relax. Remember the game. The plot. Focus. Think! What happened after this? Does the script even apply here? If it did, I wouldn't be able to talk. But I can, for some strange reason. So clearly it follows the plot at least in some ways, which means, right about now, Trunks is probably going to-

"Huh." As if sensing that very thought, his smile evaporated. "I just thought of something. Although Shenron did bring you here, I'd like to put you to the test-if you don't mind. Just...think of it as an entrance exam." I watched, tense, as a hand rose to the sheathe at his back. Fingers clenched around the sword's hilt, freeing the dangerous weapon with a singular swipe. "C'mon! A good fight'll probably clear your head."

My face turned grey at the sight of his sword, its metal edge glinting deadly in the afternoon light.

Yeah, just one problem there, Trunkie. I have no freaking idea how to fight without a controller, let alone how powerful I am! Karate probably won't do shit-for-dick against you! Shit! Shit shit shit, I have no idea how this body even works...this is not my day!

"I hope you're ready!"

"Are you insane?!"

That was all I had time for before the sword came screaming down at my head!

And that's how it started.

I never wanted to be a hero...you could even say that I hated them. Didn't believe in them. No, I never wanted to be a hero. I never wanted to have that responsibility; that burden heaped upon my shoulders. The price of victory, the cost of failure...I'd always avoided stuff like that. Because I was always afraid to frail. Nope, I never wanted to be a hero...

...but apparently fate had other plans.

A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaand there we go! My very first try at a self-insert story*blushes furiously*and I pray to god that I didn't do to badly. I'm a master writer when it comes to Naruto, Bleach, and other works of fiction, but they be just that. FICTION. This is me inserted into this story, bits of my life plumbed out before you, and, well, to be honest, its a tad embarassing. Especially the bit with me getting genderswapped. That was hard as hell to do, considering I am, most certainly, a DUDE and straight as a ruler.

But, eh, in this story, I thought I'd shake things up a bit...

Naturally, I plan to go more in depth with certain characters than most...including new events and all sorts of chaos as I plunge into the Dragonball Xenoverse! It'll make ya laugh too, I promise! God, I really am going to ruin time as we know it int this one...

So, in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly?

...hope ya'll like it! And of course, enjoy the preview!

(Preview)

I wanted to cry.

As if being trapped in the body of a saiyan girl wasn't bad enough; as if the possibility of my never returning home wasn't bad enough; now I faced this conundrum. My knees were firmly tucked into my chest, pushed rigidly up against my faded, battered gi. The source of my shame would've been blatantly obvious, even if not for the visible cloud of doom hanging over my head. Anger leaked from me like a cracked sieve, and poor Trunks didn't even seem to notice it.

"Hey...you seem kind of down...

"KINDA?!"

I shot him a withering glare.

"Why the hell do I keep getting beat by Raditz?!"