A Split Second.
Nothing belongs to me sadly, it all belongs to the awesome Shonda Rhimes.
Chapter 1- crash and burn.
Cristina's POV
A split second can change your life. It can be the difference. The difference between being late or early, that top or that one. Life or death. A split second can decide the rest of your life. A split second.
"It's raining men, halleluiah! It's raining me-"I cut off the song that plays from my alarm clock by throwing it across the room.
I laid my head back down on my soft pillow and sighed. Somehow I knew that today would not be a good day. I felt it in my gut like someone was twisting a knife into my stomach. I could hear Jo and Alex down stairs laughing and kissing. Sometimes it was hard being alone, but I chose this, so I had to suck it up. Because I was getting a Harper Avery award and then after that there would be many more awards so I was doing pretty great. But then why couldn't I get out of bed?
I was being stupid. I swung my legs out of bed and got dressed.
Jo and Alex were in a lip lock when I entered the kitchen.
"Come on, lovebirds, we gotta go." I said stealing Alex's toast out of his hand. He tried to grab the toast away from me, but I pulled it back and stuffed the rest of it in my mouth. "Slow poke." I said my words muffled by half chewed toast.
"Gross." He said, grumpily. He hated it when I stole his food. Which is exactly why I did it. He was just too easy to annoy.
We all drove to the hospital together with the lovebirds staring meaningfully into each other's eyes. Gross. They were so gross. But I was happy that Alex had finally found somebody who wasn't going to A. go crazy. B. get cancer. C. leave. Or D. steal his job in Africa. Because they've all happened.
That sick feeling in my stomach was still there and it was making me uneasy. Maybe it was the flu?
I dressed in my navy blue scrubs and rounded. Ross was on my service. It was same old, same old. We rounded and then I went to the nurse's desk to sign charts. About 53 charts later, my phone rang.
Great who could this be. The number was unfamiliar. My day was already crappy, now I would have some a-hole all up in my grill trying to get me to buy some useless junk.
I answered the call, "hello. This is dr. Cristina Yang speaking." I said professionally.
"Hello, this is Dr. Harper Avery." I think my jaw dropped, I was like a fish out of water. It was THE Harper Avery. Okay act cool.
"Dr. Avery. What a pleasant surprise. How can I help you?" he could probably hear the awe in my voice.
"Well, I've been hearing about your trial, and I wanted to know if you would want to transfer down here to Boston. We've got better facilities, incredibly talented staff, you could have your own office and lab. Anything you want. I can give you." Just as I was about to scream yes. Owen and Meredith walked past the nurse's office and waved. I couldn't leave them.
They were my soul mates.
"Um. Dr. Avery can I please have some time to think about this?"
"Of course. I understand that it is a lot to consider. But these types of opportunities doesn't come along very often, sometimes hardly ever, so think carefully."
"I know." And with a brief good bye I hanged up.
What was I going to do?
Later that day, I decided to make a list of pros and cons.
PROS-
Lab
Office
Harper Avery
My own staff
Getting out of Seattle
Escaping from Seattle Grace Mercy Death
CONS-
Meredith
Owen
Zola, Sofia and Bailey
My friends.
The life that I've built
Even the list didn't make things clearer, it just made them harder.
I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do.
Why did everything, just when it's going good, crash and burn?
It was Tuesday. I got the call on Monday. I couldn't keep thinking anymore.
Tails I go.
Heads I stay.
I throw the coin up in the air and watch it flip. Before it hit my palm, I knew what I was going to decide. I was going.
It was tails.
Now I had to tell my best friend. My person. That I was leaving. For good.
Then I would tell the love of my life. My husband. That I was leaving.
These two people were my soul mates. How could I tell them that?
"Excuse me, where's Dr. Grey?" I asked the nurse that was seated behind the computer.
"She just finished a surgery in OR 3." Her voice was like a robots.
I nodded and threw a quick thanks over my shoulder. I ran there in a hurry to catch her.
I saw her entering the scrub room and decided I would just tell her there. Plain and simple.
I always hated goodbyes anyway.
"Oh, hey!" she smiled at me as I entered the scrub room.
"Hey, Mer." I said, my voice wasn't chipper like hers, she immediately knew that I was about to say something that wasn't good news.
"What is it?" she said quietly, it was like she knew it was coming. But she didn't know.
"Harper Avery offered me a job. I'm taking it. It's in Boston. I leave this afternoon." I had already decided that I didn't want to stay long enough to get hit by a bus.
I saw her look away and in the glass reflection, I saw a tear slide down her cheek. She turned back around and wiped away her tears.
"Is this goodbye?" her voice cracked and my eyes filled with tears. I tried to blink them away but still, a lone tear rolled down my cheek and splashed onto the floor.
"Yeah." I nodded, she walked over and slapped me right in the face.
"That's for only telling me now." Then she grabbed my shoulders and brought me into her tiny body and hugged me, squeezing tightly. "That's because I'm going to miss you."
"For such a tiny person, you sure do have a lot of strength." She chuckled lightly and we both let our tears flow. I felt a sob rise up in me and tried to squish it, but it didn't work because a sob tore its way out of my throat.
For hours or minutes I don't know, we just stayed locked tightly in a bone crushing hug. Not saying or doing anything.
I would miss her so much.
"Skype me?" she nodded and we pulled away.
I left the room and wiped away my tears so nobody would see.
I had to find Owen. I looked everywhere. He wasn't anywhere. No one knew where he was, it was like he had disappeared.
Then it hit me. The vent.
Turns out my instincts were right. He was on the vent. I slowly entered the room and stood against the door, leaning against it for support.
"I'm leaving." There I said it. Now I wouldn't say it again.
"Where?" his voice was emotionless and his face held a bored expression, but his eyes. Those ice blue eyes that I loved. Held pain and hurt, and I was the only one who could see it.
"Boston."
"When?"
"This afternoon."
"Why?" his voice cracked halfway through the little word and he turned away from me.
"It's for my trial." I said softly. I had always put my career before everything. Before him. Before his dreams. Before our marriage.
"Don't go." now I could see and hear the hurt in his face and voice.
"I'm so sorry." I apologised. As if that would make a difference, I ruined his life.
"Stay for me." He gripped my face between his big, scarred hands that I once called hams. These hands held my heart and soul.
"I'm going." I said it firmly against the tears that had somehow without my permission, slipped down my cheeks and onto neck, dripping down my collarbone and disappearing into my scrub top. Then surprisingly and without warning, he pressed his firm and hard lips against mine I opened my mouth and welcomed his tongue in.
We kissed until his pager went off and he leaned his forehead against mine, he kissed my nose and breathed out the word "stay." Then left.
What was I going to do?
He just made everything that much more complicated.
I had my suitcases all packed and in my car. I was ready.
I walked back inside and looked around Alex's house, Mer's old house. This place held a lot of good memories and an equal amount of bad ones.
There was all the times me and Mer had dance parties.
I got kicked out by Owen and found refuge here.
I convinced Mer to get out of bed the day she held a bomb in her hands.
I tried to get Izzie off the bathroom floor, not that I was much help.
I spent thanksgiving here and watched Burke and Izzie share cooking tips.
Owen thought that Jo was me and grabbed her boobs.
Alex entered the house and hugged me. Mer must have told him.
"Call me." He said in a girly voice. He was always a jerk when he was hurting, it's how he showed that he cared.
"I'll miss you too, sweaty." I said in the same girly voice.
"Be safe." He said seriously. I nodded against his shoulder and pulled away. I grabbed my last suitcase and left.
I got into my car and waved good bye to Alex, who was like a brother.
I was nearly out of Seattle. I was turning around some bend in the road and heard my phone ring. It was a text.
'We'll miss you.' It said. It was from Derek. There was a photo attached.
Everyone was in it. Arizona and Callie, my former roommates. Sofia, Zola and Bailey Jr., my godchildren. Bailey and Richard, my mentors. Shane, my protégé. April and Jackson, the only people I liked from Mercy West and who I thought of as friends, not that I would ever tell them that. Derek and Meredith, my friends, Mere, my person and Derek, who helped me when I gave up. Alex, who I used to hate but now he was one of my closest friends and till an hour ago my roommate. The only missing person was Owen.
I smiled. I sent a quick text saying I loved them and would miss them too.
Very un-Cristina like.
Suddenly there was a honk and then I was spinning and flipping and getting thrown into the side of my door. I couldn't make sense of anything. Just my own heartbeat.
Then I screamed. I was dangling upside down and my skull pounded and everything hurt, especially my stomach and chest. I glanced down, a pole was imbedded in my chest. Spearing me.
A split second. And I could've avoided the truck. A split second and I could've not looked at my phone right when I did. If I had looked up a split second sooner, this wouldn't have happened.
A split second changes everything.
I closed my eyes.