No Copyright intended. Any lines from TFIOS are John Green's and John Green's alone. This is just a fanfic I wrote for fun. This is just a crazy idea I came up with a while ago so take it easy with the criticism!

My name is Anna Felicity Lancaster, and my life is fairly normal (You may have already gotten that from the Summary though ;-) ).

My real parents are dead, I'll just say that now. They went on this big trip to Amsterdam one spring and had sex (Okay, a little weird to throw out there, but that's how it happened). About five weeks after they got back my mom found about that she was pregnant. She didn't tell my dad though because he was kind of dying. I mean, what to you say? "Hey! Guess what else you can't have 'cause you're dying? A baby! I'm pregnant!" (Sucks I know) She didn't even tell her parents until after my dad died. She got depressed after his death but then one day remembered to tell them. I know all this because when she found out she started this diary in case she died before my first birthday. Her parents took it somewhat well (Not as well as she would have hoped, but they didn't scream their heads off or throw stuff so that's a bonus!), and the next day they went to see a doctor. She said that having a baby would be insanely risky and the best option was to terminate the pregnancy. My mom walked out of the room and when she came back in she said she was willing to take that risk. When they got home they sat on the couch and watched TV. Her mom turns down the volume and turns to her.

"Hazel, are you sure you want to go through with this?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Why?" asked her dad.

"Because this baby is all I have left of Augustus other than my memories. It's a piece of him and a piece of me. Besides, you'll get to stay at being parents. Unless you're too old."

"Hazel, we're not that old yet. I'm sure we could handle it." her dad smirked.

"We don't know how long I'll have anyway even if I get rid of the baby. I could still die that month. I'm willing to take the risk." she replied.

"Then we're with you, Hazel." said her mom.

So I was born and got to know my mom for five minutes, but it was still enough time for her to know she made the right choice.

I lived with my grandparent who I never called my grandparents. I called my grandma Ma and my grandpa Da. Even at sixteen I stuck with it. I did call my dad's parents Grandma and Grandpa. My mom told them about me three months after telling her parents. They took it well and were excited.

I spent most days going to school. Writing my own stories. And babysitting to make some extra money. Reading was another favorite activity. For three months I even volunteered at Children's Hospital, the same one my mom went to.

And that was my life.

One day, Ma knocked on my door and entered holding her shoulder bag that she took to this Support Group that she led.

"You want to come?" she asked.

"Nah, I'll be fine here. Two of my characters just admitted they liked each other right before running of into battle to save the kingdom!" I said typing away at my laptop like a madman.

She went over to my self and grabbed my mom's old stuffed bear Bluie. She warned me that Ma would probably do this if she felt sad or was about to give a short lecture.

"Anna, you need to get out. You haven't done much since Sarah died." she replied.

Sarah was this ten year old girl at Children's who I visited. That's for another chapter though.

"Mom," I groaned. "I'm fine just staying home."

"You loved helping people like these." she urged.

"I'll just be sitting there awkwardly while other kids talk about Cancer like, "Yeah, I'm the outsider who doesn't have Cancer and I'm just here to remind you that you do and you should envy me!" It sounds embarrassing and depressing!" Truth was that my mom also mentioned in her diary that she went to Support Group and it was horrible!

"Please, just come." she urged again.

I groaned and shut down my laptop and rolled out of bed. I wasn't even wearing nice clothes. I had a tear in my old jeans right on the hip and I had a chocolate stain on the sky blue tank top I wore. I just threw on a navy jacket and slipped on my tennis shoes and went out the door with my Ma and my mom's old book that she and my dad bonded over.

Is it weird to be named after a favorite character in a book? I sure hope not! That's how my mom named me. Anna is the main character in An Imperial Affliction, the book she recommended to my dad before they dated and they both loved. Since I was a little bit of her and a little bit of him she thought it appropriate.

When she was little there was this American Girl doll named Felicity that she had and there was even a movie made based on the doll's stories (The actress kinda looked like my mom when she was little). She was mom's best friend for years before she sold her in a garage sale (She got two hundred for her!) when she was thirteen (Before she was diagnosed).

I read AIA on the way there. There were some words I had trouble pronouncing (Shut up!), but I still loved every word. There was an orange tulip in the front that was pressed. My mom explained that my dad had given her a whole bouquet of them before telling her he was using his Wish so they would meet the author of AIA in Amsterdam. I kept the tulip there except when I went out and took the book with me. Then I put it in one of my favorite books called Hope Never Dies.

"We're here." said Ma parking in front of a church.

"Can't I just stay in the car and read? I'm just gonna be sitting there anyway."

"Anna, you might find this nice. Not to mention that you don't have many friends." she pointed out.

"Because all the kids at school have the same opinion on parents."

"Which is?"

"They take them for granted!" I replied.

It was true. I met this one girl named Sam who invited me to her house. She never spoke to her parents and she ran away from home a lot. Her parents were very nice and good people, she just thought they were being unfair when they didn't give her things. I never spoke to her again.

"Maybe you might find some kids here who are worth your friendship." she said elbowing me, "I should know, you're a great friend."

I rolled my eyes playfully and got out of the car with her, once she grabbed these store bought Sugar Cookies from the back we started towards the church. Our car was the only car in the parking lot. We took the stairs into the basement where there were plastic kid chairs in a circle. The only one that wasn't a kid chair was the one my Ma sat in. She set out the snacks on the table that was out and I sat in this kid chair closest to hers. I knew Peter Van Houten-the author of AIA-was a douchebag, but I still loved his book. It was so well written and sounded like it really was Anna who wrote it instead of a drunken bastard.

A while later, more people started showing up and it was time to start. My Ma gave her little talk on how we are all the same and that we are all fighters even though we don't know it or feel like it. While she talked I noticed a boy I knew from school was here and next to him was a boy who would try to catch my eyes every time.

Then people started to introduce themselves and say how old they were and what their illness was and how they were doing.

"I'm James," said the boy when it came to him. "I have a problem with my lungs incase you couldn't tell." He messed with his cannula. "I'm eighteen years old and besides the illness that very well may kill me I'm a perfect specimen of awesomeness."

I laughed a little. But not enough for everyone to hear. Then everyone said, "We're here for you James." In this dead sounding tone that didn't sound like any of us meant it.

James had blonde hair in a buzz cut that didn't suit him. There are many types of boys, some of them look good in a buzz cut and it works with their facial features, other however look terrible with them and would be better with their hair a little bushier. James was one of those boys. His eyes were hazel that made me shiver for some reason. I never knew a boy could make me shiver.

"I'm Harry, I'm sixteen years old and I have leukemia. I could say I'm doing well but I'm not and a lot of us aren't and just say we're doing okay because we want to feel like fighters, also we don't want people to feel sorry for us." Harry looked at me when he said that.

"Well, now that we've introduced ourselves-"

"What about her?" asked James pointing to me, "She never introduced herself. If she's here she should join in on our depressing talk of Cancer and Illness' and our struggle through life as lonely beings."

"No I'm-"

"Anna, go ahead." Ma whispered.

I shot her a "Thanks-a-lot" look and stood. "I'm Anna and I'm sixteen. I'm just here at the recommendation of my mother (I didn't know exactly which mother I was talking about)."

"And how are you?" asked Harry.

I hated having all eyes on me. "I'm grand. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up my friend."

I had remembered my mom saying that my dad said that at his first Support Group, when he won her over and turn her on.

Then everyone started talking about their fight and what it's like and how a lot of it sucks. Then everyone talked about their fears. Of course, my Ma just had to include me since James had pointed out at the beginning that I should be a part of it.

"Anna, what are your fears?" she asked.

"Wasps and Bees." I said bluntly thinking of the first thing that came to mind. I have always had a deadly fear of them since I was eleven.

"Not death?" James had an eyebrow arched.

"The pain before it yes, but pain is inevitable. It demands to be felt." I replied, "As for death itself I'd have to say no."

"Why are girls like you so damn hard to find?" he asked.

"Because we hide in plain sight. Waiting for your kind to look upon us and think, "Crap, that girl is the girl of my dreams!"." I replied.

He started laughing and some of the other kids laughed, mostly the girls since it's true. Men don't know what's right in front of them half the time.

After that everyone bowed their heads to pray and we finished praying we didn't say that stupid thing my mom had to say. We all said, "Let our courage inspire the world to do better and be better!" My Ma made it up. Then James walked over to me, but not to close so I could get out of my chair without hitting his head with mine.

"You going to tell me your name or do I have to ask?" he asked

"You don't remember? It wasn't that long ago that my mom said it (I didn't want to call her Ma in front of some strange boy)." I replied.

"I remember, I want to know your full name."

"Why?"

"I like full names. Why would our parents give us a middle name if they didn't want us to use it?" he replied.

I nodded. He had a point, even though I knew the real reason. "Anna Felicity Lancaster."

"A pleasure to meet you, Anna Felicity. My name is James Augustus Carson." He said taking my hand and kissing it.

I giggled to hide my reaction to the name Augustus. Then I gently wacked him. He laughed.

"Hey dude!" said Harry coming over after talking to a girl, "Guess what? That chick, April agreed to go to the movies!"

James turned to me again. "He's been trying to get her to notice him since the first Support Group."

"Well congrads!" I replied holding out my hand, "Anna."

"Harry." He replied shaking it and turning to James, "I need your help to get ready for this thing. I have no clue what to wear or how to amaze her."

"Okay." He replied turning to me again, "See you again?"

"Possibly, or maybe I might go back to hiding under my rock of isolation where you'll never find me again." I replied smirking, "That's another thing. If you find a girl that's normally so damn hard to find you have to be careful or they'll get away."

"Good point." He replied and quickly grabbed a small notebook from his back pocket, "What's your phone number?"

"Anna, we have to go!" said Ma waving me over.

"I have to go." I replied reaching into my back pocket and inconspicuously dropped a piece of paper that had my e-mail address. I had for emergencies, but I figured that leaving a boy with no way to contact me or unsure he'd ever see me again was to cruel a fate.

I joined Ma in front of the elevator and looked back. James picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it. I smiled as I walked up the stairs.