Valentine's Day

February 14 2015

Modern verse

Hijikata could feel Soji leaving but didn't wake up as he rolled over. Almost an hour later he heard the other coming up the stairs and opened his eyes slightly only to see him with some food. He felt the other shaking him but still didn't want t get up. "Hijikata-san" he said softly. "It's time to get up, breakfast is ready."

He finally sighed and sat up only to have a tray placed on his lap. He questioned what the other was doing only to be told that he had the day off and they were going to spend it together.

Hijikata sighed and held the younger male. "You didn't have to do that, but thank you." He said as kissed him. It had been a really long time since the two of them had been able to spend the day together without worrying about interruptions, he was looking forward to seeing what the other had planned. His thoughts were interrupted when Soji coughed, he turned to look at him as he stroked his back. "Are you okay?" He asked, getting a little worried. "Maybe we should just stay her for today."

Soji shook his head and hid the small amount of blood. "I'm fine." He said as he relaxed against the other and rested his head on the man's shoulder. "You should eat before it gets cold, then we can go."

Hijikata smiled slightly and nodded, holding the other close as he ate. Once he had finished eating Soji took the dishes away and kissed him. "Get dressed, I'll meet you downstairs." He told the elder man as he went into the kitchen and started to wash the dishes. He got dressed and went downstairs before hugging the others waist from behind.

Soji looked up at the man and smiled. "Ready?" He nodded and went to the door as he grabbed his coat, the younger male followed him out to the car and sat in the drivers seat, he waited for Hijikata to get in and settled before starting to drive. After several minutes they arrived at a frozen lake and Soji parked the car nearby before telling the other to get out. Soji grabbed two pairs of skates from the trunk and held the mans hand as they got closer. They sat down and both put on the skates before standing up. Hijikata followed Soji onto the ice and held his hand as the skated.

They stayed on the ice just skating in circles for what seemed like hours until Soji got too tired to continue. Before they left they got a stranger to take a picture of them so this day could be remembered. Hijikata drove back while Soji fell asleep on the way. He had to carry the younger man in and put him into bed as he laid down beside him before also falling asleep.

He soon woke and quickly sat up in bed, looking over he saw that the other side of his bed was empty. He looked around the room, trying to find his lover but he was alone, just as he had been for quite some time now. It took a minute for him to come back to reality and remember what had actually happened. "It was a dream." He said sadly as he lay back in the bed and looked over at the picture of him and the younger man he kept on his nightstand, it was taken on the day he had dreamt about. He sighed and rolled over as he curled up, pulling the blanket over his head.

He knew what day it was, for once he had been able to remember. But it was too late, Soji had died last June and this would be his first valentines day alone in quite some time. He never really paid much attention to this particular day, nor did he like it, Soji was always the one who got him to celebrate it and since the other died nothing was the same anymore. He had spent all of the holidays up until now either working harder than normal or just staying home alone, but he wanted this one to be different. It took him a little longer to get up than usual that morning, but he eventually managed to pull himself out of the bed and get dressed, he put on the suit that the other had picked out for him not too long after they met. He made some tea and put it in a thermos but didn't bother to get anything to eat. Hijikata grabbed a small box and his jacket before leaving. He passed his car, deciding to walk instead.

His destination was quite some distance away and he kept his head low as he walked slowly, about an hour later he arrived at a small graveyard and found the headstone that had his husbands name. He kneeled down in front of it and traced the name slowly before placing his hand over the ring that had been embedded in the stone.

He paused for a minute and opened the box to reveal two sticks of dango, the others favourite treat, they had been made pink and red just for today. He then poured two cups of tea, placing one of them beside the box. He sat down properly and leaned back on his hand. Despite the fact that he didn't really like dango he picked up one of the treats and started to nibble it as he watched the sky. He started to talk to the other as if he was there and told him everything that had happened lately.

Soji sat on his headstone and smiled slightly as he listened to the man speak. This was the first time since the funeral that the other had visited him. He missed his lover, the man had done so much for him and now he could never repay the other for the kindness he had shown him. He floated to where the elder man was and hugged him as best as he could in this state. He noticed that the other had tears in his eyes and tried to wipe them away. "Please don't cry for me, I'm doing just fine." He said quietly, knowing that the other couldn't hear him. He said it more to convince himself as he kissed him before resting his head on the others chest.

Hijikata shivered as he felt the air around him get colder. "I should get going now." He said even though he didn't know that the other was there. He finished off his tea and covered the box back up before standing. "I love you." He whispered as he turned around and started to walk home. He walked slower than before as he kept his head down, not really wanting to get back too quickly. It took his almost 2 hours to get home, once he got there he dropped his jacket and boots off at the door before heading to the kitchen. It was almost dinner time but he didn't feel like eating so he went upstairs and climbed into bed, before closing his eyes, hoping that the dream from that morning would come back.

His wish was granted when he fell asleep minutes later and woke up to his husband beside him once more. He had a smile on his face as he dreamed and at least was able to enjoy the others company for one last night. Even if it was just a dream, for him it was enough.