*Hey, look! Fluff! 8D *Points excitedly to fic* For those of you who pointed out the lack of fluff in ATBRR, this is for you! ...Sort of. XD; This little fic was born early my junior year after I came to the starting realization: no one in yaoi fics DATES! For some odd reason, this sincerely pissed me off and when I mentioned this to one of my sisters, she agreed. To quote her: "They just fuck a lot... and then go shower." So this is my rebellion against fucking bishies (haha, pun... sort of. For the record, I have nothing against lemon)! May or may not become a series depending on reviews/how I feel. Anywho, enjoy~*
Frogs and Princes
Ichiru had been the one to say it.
He had been the one to say it and now he deeply regretted it. Why, oh why, did he have to say exactly what was going on in his head? He hated the way he was unable to hide what he was feeling, the way he was so honest with his thoughts. Shizuka-sama used to tease him about it constantly and now, it had pushed Zero away. Just when they were starting to reconnect, too. Why did he have to say it felt like they were dating?!
Ever since Ichiru had made that disastrous comment (which had supposed to have been a joke!), the elder Kiryu twin had been avoiding him like the plague. Not that Ichiru was surprised; merely saying something like that aloud had made him feel awkward! They were brothers, for heaven's sake! What was more, they were twins. Besides even if they weren't related, they were both still guys. Neither of them were gay. At least, Ichiru was pretty sure neither of them were. After all, he was still in love with Shizuka Hio and Zero had Yuki Cross...
It wasn't until three days after the immensely embarrassing statement that Zero approached Ichiru again. It was in the hallway right after Day Class had let out for the day. Ichiru was making his way back the boys' dormitory when his twin suddenly caught him by the wrist, nearly making him drop his books. Turning around to glare incredulously at his elder brother, Ichiru's affronted expression dissipated at the sight of Zero's slightly flushed face.
"Wait, Ichiru," Zero said softly as his younger counterpart relaxed in his grasp. "I want to talk to you about something."
Ichiru couldn't help but noticed the apprehension in his brother's lilac eyes and he felt his own face begin to grow warm. "Um... o-okay," he answered, a bit unsure of what was going on. "Actually, there's something I want to talk to you about, too."
Nodding, Zero led Ichiru over to an empty classroom, opening the door and gesturing his twin inside. Ichiru hesitantly obliged, striding into the abandoned room ahead of his brother. The younger Kiryu took a moment to observe his surroundings, trying to put off speaking to Zero for as long as he could. The afternoon sunlight streaming in through the windows enveloped the room in a warm, golden glow, making the area appear comforting and serene. It almost served to put Ichiru's anxious nerves to rest. However, when he heard Zero close the door, his heart rate jacked right back up.
Before Zero could even open his mouth, Ichiru whipped around and blurted out, "I'm sorry, okay! About the whole 'it feels like we're dating' thing. It was just a joke, I swear! I didn't mean anything by it. That would just be weird. I mean, come on! Us, dating? How wrong would that be?" He forced a bitter laugh at this. "It's just that's what it felt like, with us hanging out all the time... and stuff..." Ichiru trailed off, his cheeks becoming distinctly red as it began to sound as if he was trying to convince himself that he meant nothing by his fateful statement as he was Zero.
Zero simply stared at his flushed twin for a few moments, the look in his silvery eyes telling he was trying to decide something. Finally, he said quietly, "Okay. I understand. Well then, I guess that's all that needs to be said." He started to leave but Ichiru grabbed him by the sleeve before he could do so.
"Wait, Zero," he said. "What did you want to talk about?"
"Never mind," muttered Zero, wrenching his jacket sleeve out of his brother's grip. "It doesn't matter."
"No, go on. Let's hear it," insisted Ichiru, crossing his arms. So, the strange behavior continued, did it? "You were the one who wanted to talk in the first place so I want to hear what you have to say. So, yes, it does matter."
The elder Kiryu hesitated, appearing to reconsider his original intentions. Then, taking a deep breath, Zero turned back to his twin and crossed his arms as well. "I was thinking... maybe I'd like to try it," he mumbled, not looking at Ichiru in a very determined fashion and instead opting to stare at the floor to his twin's left. "The whole dating thing."
Ichiru blinked, slightly taken aback. What...? What the hell was Zero talking about? Was he simply talking about dating in general and he was asking his brother's permission? Yes, that must be the case. Zero couldn't possibly be suggesting that the two of them go out! ...Could he? "Wh-what do you mean, Zero?" he asked, uncomfortably confused.
Sighing, Zero responded, "I'm asking you out, Ichiru." He dared to look up at his little brother now, watching for his reaction
An uneasy silence fell over the two adolescent boys. Ichiru was trying, with disconcerting ease, to wrap his mind around seeing his brother romantically. A large part of him, much larger than was comforting, was thrilled at the idea, all too willing to embrace this unexpected change in his and Zero's relationship. Another part of him, however, the part that was cynical and reasonable, was extremely reluctant, screaming that to take up such a relationship with his brother would be morally wrong, incest being both illegal and a sin. At least, amongst humans it was and as both twins either were still held to the human code of conduct or held themselves to it, that was the one Ichiru as going off. Besides, this over-affection they were currently exhibiting for each would fade with time. He was sure of it.
Zero was currently wondering what the hell was wrong with him. This was disgusting. How could he even think of dating his little brother? However, he had been thinking about it. Quite a lot, actually, ever since Ichiru had made the comparison during their last outing. Even before that he was slowing beginning to realize he was seeing Ichiru differently. He began noticing little things, such as the way Ichiru's hair looked in different lights, the little changes in his expression depending on his mood, all the things he liked or disliked, and he started commenting to himself about them the same way a boy would about the girl he liked. The desire to touch his twin and to just be near him was growing as well, becoming very awkward feelings with which to deal. It wasn't as though he could talk to anyone about it. So, he hid these desires and had been doing a fairly good job of it as well. That was, until Ichiru made that comment.
"Well?" Zero prodded, feeling unduly uncomfortable. "What do you say? Will you go out with me?"
Swallowing hard, Ichiru nodded slowly. It couldn't hurt to go out on a few dates with Zero, right? "Yeah," he said quietly. "Yeah, I'll go out with you."
Letting out a sigh of relief, Zero ran his fingers through his silver hair. That went a lot better than he had imagined. Of course, during the three days it took to actually work up the courage to ask Ichiru out, he had imagined this moment going a lot of different ways. This, however, was definitely one of the more optimistic scenarios he had run through in his head.
"What do we do now?" Ichiru asked quietly, jerking his twin out of his reverie.
Shrugging, Zero admitted, "I have no idea. This is the first time time I've ever asked someone out."
"Well, I think we're supposed to set up a date or something," Ichiru pointed out nervously.
"I'll do that," Zero offered quickly, placing his hand on his chest. "I was the one who asked you out, after all."
Ichiru was slightly insulted by this. Was he really being designated the girl already? Not wanting to screw things up before they even began, however, he nodded. "Alright," he agreed begrudgingly, crossing his arms and pouting a bit. He made a mental note that, if this went anywhere, he would get to be the guy at least half the time.
The pair fell silent once more, shuffling their feet in apprehension, each refusing to look at the other. Identical blushes were vivid on their identical faces. After a few uneasy moments, the twins dared to look at each other, exchanging nervous glances before quickly looking away again. Another minute or so of this and Ichiru finally broke the ice.
"We should get back to the dorm," the younger Kiryu muttered, striding determinedly to the classroom door, right beside his twin. Here, the brothers exchanged one last anxious expression, their hands unconsciously twitching for each other before they both simultaneously looked away. Feeling supremely uncomfortable, Ichiru wrenched open the door and marched out of the room.
A week later, Ichiru stood anxiously beside the gates of Cross Academy, his hands shoved moodily in his pockets. He was way past 'a little embarrassed' at this point. What the hell was he doing here? Why did he agree to this in the first place? Because you've had feelings for Zero ever since you were children, the little voice of reason in the back of his head reminded him but he promptly squashed that. What did it matter what he had felt about his twin during their childhood? It had been years since then. Those silly feelings should have evaporated by now. They do say distance makes the heart grow fonder. He really wished the voice would shut up.
He checked his watch again for the umpteenth time that night. Zero was late.
The elder Kiryu was currently negotiating with Headmaster Cross about covering his Guardian duties so he could take Ichiru out on their date. Not that he told the headmaster he was going out with his twin. That, both Kiryus agreed, would not be in their best interest. They need to keep the fact they were now seeing each other quiet, for obvious reasons. However, Zero had made the mistake of mentioning he was going out, something which the insufferable blonde found very interesting. He kept pestering the young man for the details he was withholding. It was all Zero could do to escape. He finally made it to the gates where he found his younger brother standing impatiently beside them or what he perceived to be impatience, anyway.
"I'm sorry, Ichiru!" he called as soon as his twin was in earshot. "Cross kept bugging me about who I was going out with and I couldn't exactly tell him it was you." Zero offered Ichiru a smirk as soon as he reached him, earning him a indignant glare.
"It's fine," Ichiru muttered, looking away from his brother and shrugging. "It doesn't matter, really." Kicking apprehensively at the dirt, he chanced a glimpse at his brother and murmured, "So, what are we doing?"
"I thought we'd keep it traditional," answered Zero, shrugging. "Dinner and a movie."
Smiling wryly, Ichiru pointed out, "I don't think this is exactly what you would call 'traditional', Zero."
Zero laughed nervously . "Yeah, I guess you're right," he admitted.
An awkward silence overcame them, something that was seeming to become a common occurrence between them. Ichiru was beginning to wonder if it was this uncomfortable for a boy and girl to go on their first date. Or for people who weren't related, for that matter. "Um, should we go now?" he asked anxiously.
"Oh, yeah," mumbled Zero, shaking his head as though he was coming out of deep thought. "Yeah, we should go." He pushed open the gate and waved Ichiru through it, acting the part of the gentleman, before walking through himself and closing it behind them. Falling into step beside his twin, Zero stared down at his feet and then, his silvery eyes flitted towards his brother's hand. He had a sneaking suspicion (or desire) he should take it but he didn't know if his twin would think that was too forward or not. They were sailing in uncharted waters here.
Ichiru was just as lost. He was on his first date and it was with his own brother. What would their parents think of them? Or worse, what would Shizuka-sama think of him? This was... this was... this was indescribably wrong. Zero realized this, too, he knew. Some unconscious form of twin telepathy told him so. Yet, here they were. Ichiru thought his heart was going to fly out of his chest as Zero bought the tickets for the movie. He was suddenly very aware of all the people around them. He felt as though all eyes were on him and his brother, judging them, looking down on them in disgust. His shoulders shot up to his ears as his face turned beet red.
"Hey." Zero's voice next to his ear and his grip on his arm startled Ichiru, making him jump. "Don't be so nervous," the elder Kiryu went on. "Just act casual. Everything's going to be fine."
"That's easier said than done," Ichiru muttered bitterly but Zero either didn't hear him or was ignoring him. Soon, they were entering the movie theater. As Ichiru was convinced they were going to hell and was all but treating his brother like a disease, Zero chose seats for them towards the back of the dimly-lit room and dragged his little brother a bit forcefully towards them. The younger Kiryu shot him an indignant scowl as he did so but he was grateful his twin at least picked out seats in the back. He hoped he'd feel less weird if he didn't feel like he was the center of everyone's attention. However, this hope proved to be in vain.
As the lights in the theater began to dim, Ichiru broke out into a cold sweat and started to twist his hands in his lap. He wondered yet again what on earth he was doing here. Sure, he and Zero had gone to plenty of movies together before (switching between their two preferences; Zero liked action flicks while Ichiru preferred a good scare) but never on a date! That changed everything. The young man began to hyperventilate a bit.
Sensing his twin's discomfort, Zero reached over and took one of Ichiru's clammy hands, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Hey, relax, would you?" he whispered, leaning towards his brother. "There's no pressure, okay? I don't expect anything from you. Besides, it's not like anyone knows. This is just between the two of us." Then, on instinct, he quickly kissed Ichiru on the cheek, making him blush. "So just calm down. Alright?"
The sound of his brother's voice and the chaste peck on the cheek inexplicably relaxed Ichiru. It was like when they were children. Zero always had the power to make him feel better. Taking a deep breath, he leaned back and will himself to calm down. Eventually, he did, everything beginning to feel natural for the first time that night. Towards the end of the film, the younger twin felt comfortable enough to even rest his head on Zero's shoulder. Zero smiled a bit as his twin did this, being reminded of the child who had clung to him ever chance he got, and rested his own head on top of his brother's. He was still holding Ichiru's hand.
By the time the movie let out, night had fallen. It was dark enough for Zero to still feel comfortable holding Ichiru's hand although he highly doubted he would be able to let go. It was starting to feel natural, as it had when they were children, only in a very different way. Ichiru was beginning to enjoy it as well. Now that he had relaxed, he was actually having fun.
The couple began walking casually down the main street towards the river, trying their best to ignore the looks and whispering thrown their direction as they passed. Both young men realized this was only to be expect if they continued going with each other. A practice that had been considered cute when they were younger obviously was going to raise some suspicion now that the twins were in their late teens. Anyway, the people in town they could deal with. They didn't know them and there was no harm in public displays of affection here as long as they didn't overdo it. It was back at school where they would have to be careful.
Reaching the bridge over the river, Zero and Ichiru joined the other people in watching the local fireworks display. They stood in silence for a few minutes, merely observing the multicolored fire flowers explode over the water front and enjoying each other's company. Then, Ichiru spoke up.
"Zero, I just have one question."
"And what would that be?"
"Yuki Cross? Seriously?"
The elder twin glanced over to his brother to see Ichiru staring at him incredulously, a dubious smirk on his lips. "Are you questioning my taste in women?" Zero inquired with a quirk of his eyebrow.
"Well, yeah!" Pushing off the railing he and his brother had been leaning on and crossing the bridge to the other railing, Ichiru turned around so he and Zero were facing each other and hoisted himself up on the the railing. "You used to have great taste in girls," the younger Kiryu went on. "But Yuki Cross? The girl's an idiot, Zero! She's one of the most, if not the most, pathetic creatures on the face of the planet! How the hell could you fall for her?"
Zero shrugged and crossed his arms, smirking. "I might ask the same thing about you and Shizuka," he countered. "The woman was a cold-hearted bitch. How the hell could you fall for her?"
Ichiru narrowed his eyes dangerously and Zero knew he had done it. His little brother was not fond of people insulting his late mistress. Well, 'not fond' was a bit of an understatement. "You weren't there, big brother," the younger twin growled, placing condescending emphasis on the last two words. "You don't know her like I do."
"Exactly," Zero pointed out. Then, he, too, pushing of the railing and walked over to his brother, placing his hands on either side of Ichiru, gazing at him with a playful glint in his pale eyes as he brought his face only a few centimeters from his reflection's. "So you think my taste in women has gone down the drain, do you?" he murmured, his warm breath brushing Ichiru's lips.
Trying to remain cool, calm, and collected even though his brother's close proximity sent his heart beating so quickly it was simply an incessant hum, Ichiru smirked and nodded. "Yep," he answered, a bit more breathy than he had meant. "With no hope of ever being redeemed."
Zero moved even closer to his twin, so close their lips were almost touching. In barely more than a whisper, he inquired, "What about my taste in men?"
His smirk dissolving into something more of a nervous grin, Ichiru answered, "Impeccable."
For a moment, the twins remained frozen like this, their warm breath mingling and brushing through the silver bangs that hung in their pallid amethyst eyes. Then, as if they had suddenly realized where they were, the pair separated, Zero leaping back as though he had been burned and Ichiru quickly looking over his shoulder, decisively watching the fireworks as a furious blush colored his face.
Shoving his hands into his pockets, visibly discomfited, Zero murmured, "We should go eat now."
Ichiru nodded and pushed himself off the railing, following his brother off the bridge.
The twins had dinner at a small diner a few blocks away. They had been there before, the low prices making it a popular hangout for teenagers, and Ichiru seemed to like it, which was why Zero had chosen it. One of the things the younger Kiryu had confessed to his brother during a previous outing was that although he had enjoyed his time with Shizuka, he sort of missed doing normal kid things. Besides, they made a mean chocolate milkshake.
They slid into a booth, Ichiru on one side and Zero on the other. After placing their orders, they began talking about anything and everything. Zero listened patiently as Ichiru rambled on about his latest reading project. The younger Kiryu had always been a reader, every since he was a child, something which probably had to do with the amount of time he had spent bedridden. That and he was trying to make up for his physical weakness with his mental superiority. Ichiru laughed softly when Zero started complaining about the Night Class. Something about them being stuck-up rich brats who never thought of anything but themselves and their precious Kaname-sama. Personally, Ichiru had no problem with vampires, that much was obvious. That pureblood Kaname Kuran, however...him he could do without. He didn't like the way the older vampire looked at his brother. In fact, Ichiru had started to realize he didn't like the way anyone looked at Zero or anyone looking at him for that matter. If this was jealousy, he didn't know, but it was just how it was.
Overall, it was a pleasant evening but there was something still weighing heavily on the younger twin's mind and he was desperate for his brother's opinion. "Hey, Zero?" he said quietly, glancing anxiously up at his older counterpart.
"Yes?"
Fiddling with the bright red cherry from his milkshake, Ichiru murmured, "Normally, people date to, I don't know, see if they fall in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together or something. It's like... finding a mate, I guess." He flushed slightly at these words, his pale lavender eyes shifting away from his twin. "But... what are we trying to do? What are we trying to accomplish from this?"
At first, Zero was a bit shocked by this question. He hadn't been expecting that. Actually, he hadn't put much thought into what he hoped to accomplish by romancing Ichiru. After a moment of contemplation, the elder Kiryu leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms, shrugging. "The same thing I would think," he said, trying to sound nonchalant while the butterflies in his stomach started multiplying exponentially. He was attempting, without much success, to stop thinking about how cute Ichiru looked when he blushed. He seemed almost... vulnerable, like the little boy all that time ago who so badly needed his big brother. He decided to like that. He would have to remember to make his twin blush more often.
Dropping the cherry in slight surprise, Ichiru stared wide-eyed at his twin. "R-really?" he inquired quietly. "Do you think we'll get that far?"
Sighing, Zero leaned forward and reached across the table for his twin's hand. "I don't know," he admitted, rubbing the back of Ichiru's hand with his thumb. "I don't know where we're going with this. I don't know if we're completely crazy for even considering being together. I mean, think of our parents! Not to mention every other person in the world..." The elder brother paused after this, staring off into space and seemingly contemplating all the legal and moral implications of the type of relationship he and his twin were currently pursuing. After apparently reaching some sort of conclusion, he continued. "But I do know that I'm starting to see you differently. I'm starting to like you, Ichiru. Romantically." Zero paused again at these words, glancing away from his little brother and appearing shameful of this admission. "And it scares the hell out of me."
Ichiru could only stare, dumbfounded, at his older twin. This was Zero sitting in front of him. He felt the need to reminded himself of this as his brother's uncharacteristic confession sank in. That was... unexpected. However, it did offer the young man some comfort in the fact that he was not alone in his sinful emotions. He lifted his brother's hand and brushed his lips against Zero's knuckles.
Zero blinked at this action, a bit taken aback, before snapping indignantly, "What the hell was that for?"
Laughing, Ichiru answered, "Zero, I've been in love with you since we were kids!" When the elder Kiryu appeared stunned by this revelation, the younger twin became worried. He frowned and asked, "Is... is that wrong?"
"Probably," replied Zero, giving Ichiru's hand a small squeeze. "But if you're wrong, then I'm wrong, too."
"Two wrongs to make a right," Ichiru muttered, flushing and glancing away.
Zero chuckled lightly. "That's true," he said, nodding. Then, checking his watch, he growled, "Oh, shit! It's late! Come on, Ichiru we have to go. I promised Cross that we – er, that I – would be back by eleven." He stood up and pulled out his wallet, counting out enough money to cover the food and a tip.
"Zero, I can--"
Shaking his head, Zero muttered, "No, no, I got it. I asked you, remember?" He placed a few bills on the table.
Ichiru scowled and rested his head on his fist, blowing a piece of silver hair out of his face. It was because he was younger, wasn't it? That's why he was being designated the girl. He'd chew Zero out about that later. He didn't want to ruin the night.
As soon as they were outside, Zero took Ichiru's hand again. He could get used to this part of dating. The warm weight of Ichiru's hand in his felt nice. However, this brought up another part of dating: kissing. Before he knew it, his heart was racing at such a pace it threatened to break his ribs. Oh God, kissing! He hadn't even thought about that! It was only their first date after all, although they had gotten so close on the bridge... Would Ichiru be expecting him to kiss him, though? Zero highly doubted it but there was always that possibility. What if Ichiru did expect a kiss and he didn't go through with it? Would Ichiru be angry with him? He sorely hoped not.
"You don't have to kiss me," Ichiru murmured suddenly as though he had read his twin's mind. "It's alright if you don't."
Glancing over to his twin, Zero saw Ichiru had a light flush across his cheeks. "Are you sure?" he asked.
Ichiru nodded. "I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet," he admitted quietly. "Let's just see where this goes first."
Smirking, Zero leaned over and gave his twin a quick peck on the cheek, exactly like he had in the theater, making his brother's flush deepen. "That's perfectly fine with me."
"Zero!" cried Ichiru incredulously, staring in disbelief at his twin. Muttering something incoherent about 'complete disrespect', he hastily wiped his cheek with his jacket sleeve.
Zero laughed. "I'm sorry! I couldn't help it," he said, giving his brother a small smile and nudging him softly. "You look so cute when you blush."
To his humiliation, Ichiru felt his face grow warmer as he gritted his teeth, making Zero laugh again. "I'll get you for this later," he growled, shooting his twin some very nasty looks.
Lifting a pale eye eyebrow in disbelief, Zero said, "Oh, you will, will you?"
"You bet I will!" answered Ichiru, shoving his brother playfully.
"Yes, because your last shot at revenge turned out so well," Zero pointed out sardonically "And by 'turned out well', I mean 'was virtually nonexistent'."
"An act, Zero!" Ichiru insisted. "That was all an act! How many times do I have to tell you that! This time, though, I mean it."
"Well, I like forward to your 'revenge'," said Zero lightly.
"Hmph!" Ichiru turned his head away from his twin and began gazing at the star-filled sky, his bad mood dissolving. It was a beautiful night, the stars glittering like distant diamonds instead of the giant gas balls that they were, the soft, blurry edges of the summer trees barely visible against the velveteen sky, the breeze slight and warm as it caressed the air. He could think of no one he'd rather be sharing it with besides his twin. Well, maybe Shizuka-sama but that would have been a completely different experience. It felt nice walking back to Cross Academy like this, his hand in Zero's. It was almost as if they had regressed back to their childhood, only this was vastly different. When he was a little boy, he would have never thought that his first date would be with his brother. Oh well, there was no changing that now.
After a bit, they reached the school gates and stood awkwardly outside it, still holding hands. There was a few moments of exchanging, shy, embarrassed smiles before either brother spoke. Blushing furiously, Zero muttered, "That wasn't so bad."
Ichiru shook his head. "No, it wasn't," the younger Kiryu agreed.
"So..." Zero's flush deepened exponentially and he shuffled anxiously, his downcast eyes flickering up to look at his twin. "Would you like to go out with me again? Next week maybe?"
Beaming, Ichiru bent forward and kissed Zero lightly on the cheek, feeling a bit childish in doing so. "Yes, I would like that." Still grinning, a bit idiotically, he pushed open the gates and began making his way back to the boys' dormitory, leaving aver flummoxed Zero in his wake.