Spoiler Warning: This story contains major spoilers for the upcoming episode. If you are spoiler free please refrain from reading this story until after you have seen the Smallville episode airing on 11/13/2009
A/N: OK. I'm not really sure how I feel about this story- I'm posting it anyway, but sorry if it's not really up to par.
The Reporter and The Shrink
Lois Lane hated shrinks. She'd hated them when she was six. She'd hated them when she was fifteen and now, at age twenty-three, she still hated them.
However, her loathsome feelings never stopped her from coming to see Dr. Evans. Then again, whom else was she going to talk too? She couldn't tell Oliver or Chloe about her dreams, especially when they were part of them and the thought of talking to Clark made her wish the earth would magically open up and swallow her whole. She needed someone with a degree to tackle this problem. And really, who better to go to than an unbiased third party who could give her a real professional opinion- and possibly a prescription for some heavy-duty happy pills.
So, there she was, sitting in a room that could only be described in one word- brown. For the life of her Lois couldn't figure out why in the hell all psychiatrists thought that neutral shades and horrible beige carpeting were a formula for coaxing a person into revealing their most intimate and guarded secrets.
"So Lois," Dr. Evan's smiled as she entered her office, "what can I do for you today? Do you need any of my notes?"
Dr. Gertrude Evans had worked with police, for over ten years, profiling criminals. Lois had started regularly going to her for tips or copies of her notes, to get details on murder investigations when she worked at The Inquisitor. Over the years the two had grown into something less than friends, but more than professional acquaintances.
Lois started fidgeting with her hands in her lap, "No. This visit is definitely off the record," the reporter gave the doctor a meaningful look. It wasn't the first time Lois had come to Gerti for personal reasons, and it probably wouldn't be the last.
"Oh, I see. Well, then what's on your mind?"
"Well-" For a brief moment Lois felt like giving her some half assed excuse and running from the office. But she needed answers. She felt like she was losing her mind. Maybe she was.
"It's all right. Take as long as you need," Dr. Evans said, noticing the brunette's hesitation, "there's no rush."
"Well-" Lois started, slowly, "I'm sure you've heard through the grapevine about my little disappearing act."
"Yes. You were missing for, three weeks, was it?"
"Yeah."
"And you have no idea where you were?"
"Not a clue. " Lois nodded, "I thought at first maybe I was just had some sort of weird concussion or was in a coma somewhere, but then- then I started having these dreams-flashes."
"Flashes?" Dr. Evans used her middle finger to push her intelligently thick-rimmed glasses up the bridge of her small pointed nose.
"Um- Yeah. Just a quick series of convoluted visions," Lois rose from her chair and began pacing around the room. She just couldn't sit still anymore. "Their very brief and sporadic. Sometimes I get them in the middle of the day, but they're most vivid at night, when I'm asleep."
"What types of visions?"
Lois bit her lip. "It's hard to explain. I'm not really sure what I'm seeing, but it's serious NC-17 violence. Like Armageddon on your front lawn, there's blood and screaming and," Lois paused for a moment almost unable to get the word out, "death." The image of her cousin laying lifeless and still on the ground made her queasy, she gulped down the bile that had started to rise in her throat.
"Go on," Dr. Evans encouraged lightly. "Do see anyone you know in these dreams? Family? Friends?
"Yes. Both and others- strangers." Lois replied.
"What else?"
Oh, boy. Lois bit her lip. Just like a Band-Aid, she thought. Just do it fast. "Some of the flashes I have aren't all bad," Lois took a deep breath.
"How so?"
"Well," the brunette began, cautiously, "I- I see myself and another person-" she pressed her lips together trying to find the right words, "engaging in an activity that involves clothes coming off and- lots of -naked skin-skin on skin action-repetitive motion- building to a climax- if you get my drift."
Dr. Evans sat up and folded her hands infront of her on the desk, "So you're having erotic dreams, too? Do you know the person your having sex with?"
"Yes." Lois squeaked, shifting uncomfortably from one foot the other.
"Who is it?"
"Clark- Clark Kent. He's my-" Lois wasn't sure how to finish that sentence. They weren't just friends anymore, but they weren't exactly an item, either. They were caught somewhere in between, in hellish relationship purgatory, "Colleague." Well, it was the truth. Even if that particular co-worker had just had his tongue down her throat a few days ago.
"Do you have a sexual relationship with him? In real life, I mean."
Lois blushed, "No!" Not yet.
"Is he an ex?"
"No. He's a friend- a very close friend."
"Lois, I can't help you if you aren't going to be honest with me." Dr. Evans cocked an eyebrow and peered over the rim of her glasses. And for a moment Lois felt like a small school child being reprimanded by the teacher.
The reporter quickly regained her composure and narrowed her eyes, "I'm not lying! We are friends! It's just- look; Smallville is- we're- It's complicated because-" pregnant pause," he kissed me, OK?" She blurted out, after what felt like an eternity, "I mean really kissed me, and now-"
"You're not sure where you stand with him, anymore?" The doctor finished her thought.
"Exactly. I mean I'm not the best at dealing with my emotions to start with and it was bad enough being around him when I was just having visions about us doing the virtual karma sutra! But now it's like my desk has become soft core central!" She finished exasperatedly.
"I see," she scribbled something down on her notepad, "How did you feel about it?"
"About doing the virtual karma sutra with Clark?"
"No. The kiss."
"Oh, that," Lois couldn't stop the smiled that spread across her lips or the light flush appeared on her cheeks. "I- I kissed him back." She confessed, and that's all it took for the floodgates to open. "It's like I've been waiting for him to make his move for so long- after so many damned mixed signals and missed opportunities-" she let out a breath. "I really thought he didn't want me. I mean we haven't always had the smoothest relationship, but things changed when we started working together-" she cut off.
"Go on," the psychiatrist encouraged. "How did things change?"
"I don't know," Lois admitted, shrugging, "I'm not exactly sure when it happened or how, but things between us- just- grew."
"I see," without missing a beat, Dr. Evans dropped a bomb. "So? About how long have you been in love with him?"
"What?" The brunette blanched, completely caught off guard by the accusation. "Are you on crack? Love? That's ridiculous! It's absurd- ludicrous!" her voice went uncharacteristically low when she added, "how did you know?"
"I'm a trained professional, Lois- it's my job to read people."
"Oh, right." She looked down at her feet. "Can we not talk about that?"
"That's fine, but you know you're going to have to deal with it sooner or later, right?"
"I'd rather later than sooner, if you don't mind," Lois replied, then in her next breath asked, "So, what do you think my dreams mean?"
"What do you think they mean?"
Lois had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She hated when people answered her questions with another question.
"If I knew what they meant we wouldn't be having this conversation, right now!" Lois retorted, irritably.
"Humor me," Dr. Evans said, calmly, "please?"
Lois huffed, but complied with the doctor's wishes. "Fine." She crossed her arms over her chest, "I feel like they're important, somehow like they're trying to tell me something."
"Trying to tell you what?"
"I don't know. They don't make any sense." Had the woman paid any attention to the last twenty minutes of the conversation? "One second Smallville and I are going at it like the world is ending and the next- Ollie's digging a grave and crying- Chloe's on the ground not moving- and the screaming-!"
"OK. Take a deep breath, it's all right." Dr. Evans interjected, soothingly.
"It just feels so real, you know?" Lois said, after a moment.
"Well," Dr. Evans sat back in her chair, "I'm not sure how to properly assess the violence in your dreams without specifics, but I can tell you that the sex in your dreams probably has little to do with actual sex."
"Are you sure?" Lois questioned, "This isn't exactly trains going through tunnels, you know? It's- more- it almost feels like déjà vu."
"Well, sex in dreams is often associated with the need for intimacy. Perhaps this reoccurring dream has something to do with you wanting to uncover something hidden within Clark?"
"Possibly." Lois considered the diagnosis thoughtfully, "I've always felt he was hiding something from me. Which is fine. It's not like I tell him all my secrets- well, there's really nothing to tell. But if there were, then well I probably wouldn't-"
"Lois, you're babbling."
"I know."
"Come on. Out with it. What are you really trying to get at here?"
"It's just, the closer I get to him the more I feel like he's going to disappear on me," her voice was thick with emotion, "just like everyone else."
"Lois-"
"No, that's the one thing I know for sure. At one time or another- everybody leaves. It's just a matter of when. The only person you can depend on at the end of the day is you. I know that!" She paused for a moment, recollecting herself. "But there are just these moments, you know? Where it's like for the first time in my life, someone needs me as much as I need them." Lois ran her hand through her hair. "I've never depended on someone as much as I depend on Clark. And that scares the hell out of me. When Ollie and I broke up it was hard- but this, this is on a whole knew playing field-"
I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night-
"Speaking of abandonment." Lois didn't even bother to look at the screen before she pressed the 'ignore' button.
"Who was that?" The doctor asked.
"No one important," she really had to change that ring tone.
"Lois? Remember the honestly thing we were talking about earlier? This room is like Vegas, anything you say here, stays here."
Lois hesitated for only a second, "it was The Blur," she said, quickly.
"The Blur? Really?"
"Yeah, he- he calls me sometimes. I'm his contact at The Planet."
"Why do I get the feeling that there's more to it than that?"
"Well, sometimes he calls me just to- talk." She explained, "or at least he used to."
"Do you have romantic feelings for him?"
"No." Lois retorted firmly, "not anymore," she back peddled when she saw Dr. Evan's cock an eyebrow. "I'm through with emotionally unavailable weekend warriors. For real this time, I mean it. No more. From now on I'm only going to date normal guys. Like-"
"Clark?"
"Exactly! Except, Smallville's not really normal. I mean he is- but sometimes- sometimes he surprises me," Lois grinned.
"Well, I think you may still have some lingering feelings for our local super hero."
"No way. Absolutely not, he's history like eight track tapes and rotary phones." Lois insisted.
"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," Dr. Evans answered, dryly.
Great, Lois thought, out of all the shrinks in Metropolis I get the one with a sense of humor!
"Look," the vexed reporter, clarified, "I admire what the guy does for the city, but that's as far as it goes. I mean I've never even seen his face, how can you love someone you've never really met?"
"Funny you bring up love I didn't say anything about love." Dr. Evans stated.
Lois opened and closed her mouth a few times, before she spoke again, eyebrows furrowed, "I'm not sure what you're trying to get at, but whatever feelings I may or may not have had for Mr. Unavailable are long gone."
"But you did connect with him on a personal level," Dr. Evans pointed out.
"Well, yeah, but-"
"It's hard to just walk away from people you share a bond with, Lois. Whether they've hurt you or not."
That one hit a little too close to home. And Lois wasn't quite sure how to respond, so she just exhaled and plopped back into her chair and rested her forehead on the palm of her hand.
"Lois," Dr. Evans continued, "you're dreams, you're anxiety, all of your conflicting emotions may be because your feeling torn between two individuals, both of which you have strong feelings for. I'm not going to tell what to do about it, only you know how you really feel. But there's going to come a time when you're going to have to choose: Clark or The Blur."
Lois sighed. "Maybe," she said, lifting her head. "But what if I didn't have to?" She said the last part more to herself than to the shrink. Like some sort of realization was dawning on her.
"What do you mean?" Dr. Evans leaned forward in her seat, curiously.
"What?" Lois jolted in her chair, suddenly remembering where she was. "Oh, nothing! Just thinking out loud." She glanced at her cell phone. " Wow. Look at the time! I've got to get back to The Planet, but- thanks." She hastily grabbed her bag off the floor and headed for the exit.
"Any time, Lois. I mean it. My door is always open."
"I'll keep that in mind," Lois smiled and disappeared.
********
A/N: Please let me know what you thought about it? Good/Bad/indifferent give me something. Thanks!