Being the baby of the family sucks.
I know it, since I grew up with two brothers and a sister, all of them older than me.
My brothers kept teasing me about my age, and said many times that I was going to be under their care at some point in the future. My parents weren't going to be around forever; after all, they were quite old. Someone like me would spend years in college, and even after that was finished, it would take years for me, working as a notary, to be able to afford a house of my own, and the fact that all the apartments in Viareggio, Pisa or cities like that were either too expensive or already occupied, left me with a single option: stay under the care of one of my brothers, an event that I wanted to avoid, considering the strong rivalry existing between us.
Me and my brothers never had, and we still don't have, a sense of "brotherhood", but more a rivality: in fact, until I turned 14, when finally I could stand a chance against them, and establish peace within the force, a fight between my older brother, sister, and I wasn't an uncommon sight in my house; or an argument between my sister and my younger, yet older than me, brother. As you can guess, this means that going under the care of my brothers meant admitting a defeat, a defeat that wasn't even there...
Apart from that, I'm just a 16-year-old brony with a passion for the Classic Tongues, such as Latin and Ancient Greek. I've translated some episode scripts into Latin and shared them with fellow bronies. I also subtitled an episode in Ancient Greek. That's how I made my passions intersect. It's nothing hugely impressive, but still.
One day, Fate looked at me, and wanted to "reward" me in its own personal way, by transporting me to Equestria... but with a twist.
That day seemed like every other day. I woke up at 6:30 A.M. to the military trumpet alarm of my cell phone. I dressed in whatever clothes were at hand. I had a breakfast of milk and cereal, rode my bike to school, attended my language classes, and headed back home for lunch. You know, the usual things.
While I was cycling, I glanced around me. I was biking down a badly paved road, through the "Pine Grove," an area full of drunks and druggies.
Despite the name, the Pine Grove wasn't a pine grove. It appeared to have every kind of flower and deciduous tree, but not a single pine. The animal life around there consisted of nothing but pigeons and crows.
Looking around, a strange desire filled me, one I knew I'd never be able to fulfill.
I wished to go to Equestria.
I had that desire many times in the past, but at that particular moment, I thought deeper about why I wanted to go there.
First of all, I could work there. Equestria wasn't bound by the laws of my country concerning child labor, and didn't seem to care about degrees. It would be easy to fake a degree and get a well-paid job, thus killing my "Youngest Child Complex" altogether.
The second reason concerned the culture and environment. I considered myself an adaptable person, and thought I would be able to settle down anywhere in Equestria, no matter if it was a cultural metropolis like Canterlot, an industrial city like Manehattan, or a backwater village like Ponyville. And think of the population! It would probably be difficult to find a mean pony in Equestria.
Third... well, there was the classic reason. I could meet the Mane 6.
After thinking about these reasons, I returned back to reality, recognizing that I was hoping to go to a fantasy world. Sighing, I went back to my cycling, watching where I was pedaling.
But Fate that day felt both generous and mischievous. I had imagined Fate as an old lady weaving a colorful tapestry, where each thread was a life, each turn an important event, and each slice of the knife a life lost.
After that day, Fate seemed more like a toddler smashing his toys together.
What changed my mind?
Because, while I was pedaling on my bike, a blinding, pulsing, blue light appeared in front of me. Scared, I tried to brake, but to no avail. The front wheel of the bike entered in the light, and was promptly atomized.
I didn't know what that light was. Nor did I know how the front wheel, along with a good chunk of the bike, disappeared into the void. But one thing was certain. It wasn't something of this world.
Since I thought that touching the light would kill me, I tried to jump down from the bike, but to no avail. My left foot got sucked in, and soon my entire body followed.
I said my prayers, but after a few seconds, it was clear that it wasn't my time.
On the other side of the light, there was an ethereal room with gray walls and a checkered floor. In the middle of the room, over a red sofa with white arms, I could see a sign proclaiming, "Please sit down, and get ready for your next level of knowledge."
At first I tried to escape the way I came, but the light that carried me into that room had vanished. So my only option was sitting on the sofa, but I wasn't too fond of that idea. I had no idea what this place was, and that sign above the sofa was starting to creep me out.
But as time passed, I realized that just standing there wasn't much of a better idea.
"Next level of knowledge." As cryptic as that phrase was, I had to admit it sounded interesting, or at least more interesting than standing around and waiting to die of starvation. Resignedly, I sank into the sofa, hoping that something would finally happen.
After two long minutes of waiting, the room began to shake violently. The walls were torn down brick by brick, like some sort of nightmare you'd have after smashing your LEGO toys. The floor dissolved into a gray goo that gathered under the sofa where I was sitting. Naturally, I panicked and tried to stand up, but I could not, for an invisible chain blocked me. I started swearing like a madman, in the vain hope that someone would finally tell me what was going on.
After five minutes of shaking, and the floors melting and walls being torn apart, I could not stand it anymore. The sheer sensory overload became too much, and I slipped into unconsciousness.
I was awoken by the sound of hooves on grass. I opened my eyes, and saw in front of me an orange, equine-like shape.
The shape was familiar. It looked a lot like Applejack.
I got another look. Yes, that was indeed Applejack, passing by the tree where I was lying.
Even if I was a bit disappointed by the discovery, as Applejack wasn't my favorite pony, it was still welcome to see a friendly face after that madness on the sofa. So I greeted her.
But then I noticed something strange about my voice: the pitch.
The pitch wasn't the deep pitch that my voice usually had. No, my voice was high and annoying, as if I had inhaled helium. But this time, I knew the effect wasn't going to wear off soon.
At first I dismissed my voice as a side effect of turning into a cartoon pony, so I didn't think too hard about it. What happened later proved my original suspicion wrong.
It was harvest day in the apple orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack and Big MacIntosh were knocking down the last apples off the trees, while Apple Bloom and Granny Smith remained home, rearranging the house.
Applejack was pulling a cart full of green apples to the barn. They shined in the sun, thanks to the morning dew that covered every fruit.
While she pulled the cart, Applejack thought about her position in the Apple Family. She was a void branch, a fruitless branch, without sons or daughters.
The orange pony thought about that, and considered some ways to "fix" that problem. The obvious fix was to marry a stallion, but Applejack wasn't seductive enough to get the loyal ones, nor rich enough to get the greedy ones. The idea of incest flashed in her mind, but she threw it out in disgust; she wasn't that desperate!
Then adoption came to mind. But she rejected that idea. Aside from the red tape, if she was going to adopt, she would have a son not of the Apple Family, but born from two strangers. And since the son wasn't born from an Apple Family member, he wouldn't be an Apple, and so, Applejack would still be a fruitless branch. Maybe they could make an exception; maybe they would accept a new member, even if he didn't carry in his body pure Apple blood.
After thinking to the topic, Applejack asked herself: why that ? Why so much pride in having many members in the Clan, why so much focus in having said member with pure Apple blood , why every mare in the Clan SHOULD have at least a son, or a daughter?
During the years, she developed a theory about that: maybe, this bond of breeding only purebloods dated at the times just after the Tribe Unification: maybe the ancestors were so prideful of their heritage, that they ordered to their descendants to breed and show the valor of the Apple Clan to the whole world.
Naturally, since it was a matriarchal society, only the mares were involved in such tradition: the stallions weren't bond to breed.
While the orange pony thought about that, she heard a sharp voice scream, "Ave, Omnia Malum!"*
"Ave Omnia Malum?"
Applejack had never heard such an expression, nor did she know what it meant, but one thing was sure: the voice was coming from a young pony. She was a bit jarred by the presence of a foal in the middle of the orchard. Weren't there signs every 50 meters or so, saying "Private Property"? And all the "Keep out" signs? Clearly this pony either didn't see them, could not read them (but why would he be alone in that case?), or blissfully ignored the signs. In any case, he entered the fields without authorization, so Applejack untied herself from the cart, placed the ropes in the cart, and moved towards the source of the voice to check who was there.
After some time, the farmer pony
arrived at the source of the noise. The source was a gray colt with a light brown mane, around 7 months old, and looking a bit lost. Applejack was surprised by what she saw. How it could be possible that a 7 month old foal could slip past his parents' watch, walk through the whole town unnoticed, and enter in the orchards without anypony even TRYING to figure out why such a little foal was walking around all on his own?
The foal was now reaching his hooves towards her in a desperate manner, and he was saying something.
"Buongiorno, Applejack gloriosa. Sono Venicio Euilocleo, dalla città di Massarosa, i cui abitanti sono cari a Dio. Ero un umano dalle forti gambe e nerborute braccia, prima di giungere qui come piccolo viandante equino. Posso contare nella vostra sacra ξένια ?"+
The way the colt spoke sounded like nonsense to Applejack, the babbling of a foal who knows a few words, and strings together a combination of symbols to try to get adults to understand him. But as she listened, something seemed different. The language that the foal spoke seemed expressive, a language with its own rules, but nothing that could be derived from somepony with an understanding of Equestrian. She sensed words, but what the foal said was totally alien to her. From his tone, she assumed that it was a request of help.
Applejack stood on the spot for a few minutes, and thought to a plan about what to do with the "unexpected guest".
First, she would carry him home. It was useless to worry about where the foal's parents were right now. Finding them shouldn't take much time, because they were surely looking for him. It was unlikely that the parents still hadn't noticed the disappearance of their son.
Second, in order to find his parents, she would check with Town Hall. It was likely that the bulletin board in the town hall already had a notification about a lost foal, a foal whose description matched the foal that Applejack found in her fields.
Third, if the foal was not claimed by anypony, she could adopt him, and reorganize her house accordingly.
The plan was surely foolproof.
After creating the plan, Applejack moved towards the foal. He was starting to flail his front hooves angrily, signaling his utter frustration. The orange pony slowly went near him, and spoke to him with the softest voice she could pull off.
"Calm down, little one, I'm not here to hurt you. I'll get ya home, but for now, ya'll come with me. Then we can look for your parents." The colt seemed highly unimpressed.
My mind was in revolt.
Yes, I was indeed a little colt, and Applejack was convinced that I have parents here.
To add insult to injury, the ponies didn't speak Italian, but English. That was a very big problem, for while I could understand it, I couldn't speak it well.
"Fortuna, cur me vexat?"+
When I heard that Applejack was going to carry me to her house, I was quite content, but when she said that she was then going to look for my parents, I wasn't so pleased anymore. Since I obviously had no parents here, that would mean I would get assigned to an orphanage… not a good fate.
But at the moment, I could not revolt, nor did I have reasons to do so, so I let her take me and place me on the cart. I would see what was going to happen.
While she pulled the cart, I looked around. Apple trees grew on the little hills for as far as the eye could see, creating a landscape seemingly straight out from a Giovanni Verga's novel, where large estates are the rule, not the exception. In front of me, the red and white barn stood fierily on a bigger hill, giving that mundane building a sense of greatness typical for a barn. The house itself was smaller, but had a quiet dignity of its own.
I'm not sure how much time passed, since the transformation affected my sense of time. Finally, Applejack arrived at the barn. She untied herself and told to me to jump down from the cart and wait there. Then she tipped the cart, letting the apples flood out. Having done this, she signaled for me to follow her to the house, where I was going to meet her family.
Applejack opened a green door at the other end of the barn, letting me pass through it, and explained to me some things about the farm, such as the position of every outlying building, where I could go, where I could not... Basically, she said the same things that she would say to a visiting foal, like I seemed I was.
Not that I was looking forward to exploring the sheds or cutting the branches off trees anyway. After all, I was the man who was told the most viable job he could get was that of a notary.
When Applejack finished explaining the whole thing, I finally entered Applejack's house through an unhinged, half-burned wooden door. My entrance was welcomed by a loud noise, like slamming the lids of two pots together. I looked worriedly towards the source of the noise and saw that it was Apple Bloom, slamming the lids to create a sound similar to a lunch bell. The filly stopped and greeted Applejack, and then noticed me.
"Applejack, why is there a foal in our house?" Although her words suggested she was upset, in truth Apple Bloom seemed happy at my arrival, as if she had wished for a long time to have a younger sibling.
"Apple Bloom, this little one was in our fields, looking for help, and, likely, his mother. For now, he is with us, but this afternoon ah'm goin' into town, to Town Hall, and lookin' to see if there have been any notifications about lost foals. If he isn't claimed by somepony, he will stay with us."
At the last phrase, Apple Bloom smiled. It seemed quite obvious now that she was excited to see me, just as I was excited to see her, even if I didn't show it much, considering my condition. Instead, I just smiled softly towards her.
The filly went towards me and asked, "What's your name, little colt?"
"Venicio Euilocleo," I answered.
Apple Bloom smiled at me and said, "Strange name, huh? Mine is Apple Bloom, but ya can call me AB! How did ya get here anyway?"
The question was answered indirectly by Applejack. "He can't speak Equestrian properly since he is 7 months old, though it almost sounds like he has his own language."
"Oh," Apple Bloom responded. At that point, another problem related to my apparent age popped up. "And now that ah think about it Applejack, do we have some diapers? Just in case he isn't potty trained?"
"Of course I'm potty trained!" I thought, prideful. But soon I felt something warm and wet on my crotch….
CRAP!
I screamed out full force, "FATE, FATE, WHY DO YOU PERSECUTE ME SO? DO YOU REALLY NEED TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW?"
The filly heard and saw what happened, and said, "Never mind. We definitely need some diapers!"
My anger almost made me combust. Not only was I a little colt, seemingly incapable of speech, but I also lost control of my bodily functions.