(THE FOLLOWING IS MEANT TO BE READ BEFORE STARTING THE STORY.)
(This is the usual warning which follows all entries in this series. Yes, I once again drank a little before starting. Yes, I was also tired at the time, and I also had an annoying headache. This story was also written entirely in one sitting with no edits, no take-backsies, and little idea of what exactly the plot was supposed to be outside of a somewhat general idea.)
(Additional warning: if you are not a fan of being offended, first of all what the hell are you doing reading a bad fanfiction? Go find something wholesome. Tolkien's pretty good, and Rowling's got some good books too. Anyway, this story take many liberties and innumerable jabs at recent issues and certain individuals. If you are politically sensitive or don't like swearing, please stop now. Otherwise, keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, return your tray in the full upright position, and enjoy the ride.)
(Also, to whomever is reading this, there will be one point later in the story where it looks like I left a note for myself. It isn't, it's part of the story, go ahead and read it out loud).
Dragon Ball Z: X: Xenoverse: Budokai 4: Goku Saves America: A New Hope: Fast & Furious: The Voyage Home: Black Ops II: Lightning's Return: Legendary Super Saiyan Vs. Orange Toupee Man (and Family): Final Fight: Featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry Series! & Kunuckes.
Gokku has long since been given up at being strangest man in teh whole universe. He was so strong that he realiz that no body could beat him up in his universe anymore so he decided that he was going to go to other universes and beat the shcrap out of all of them too. Except. He did now how to do that. So he found aliens that new how to do that ahd beat the poop out of them until they gave him the way to do that. Goku then went to all the coolest most amazing universes and did stuff. He went to Call of Duty and killed Price and Makarahov so hard and so fast that they didn't actually kill anybody and everyone was soooo impressed that no one died and they all happy lived. Then he wnet to the other Call of Duty and punched zombies so hard that they all exsplided into a million blood pieces and no one died there either and they all were ahppy too. And then he went to Halo and beat up al lthe flood and stopped Cortana from dying and Master Jeff was so glad that he taught Goku how to breath in space. And then he went to Grnad Theft Auto and beat up all kinds of people but then the cops came but Goku was so strong that he shot them all with his fists. And then he went to Sonic but all of those games have sucked since Sonic Adventure 2 so he just left because they sucked. And then he went to Devil May Cry and he and Dante were best friends and got super drunk and stuff happened. But he didn't go to Leg of Legends or Overwatch becaus those games are dumb and anyone who plays them sucks serious donkey nards.
Goku was getting super tired by then so he went home, but then he beat up his wife and divorced her because he knew he could get way hotter girlfriends and he did. But then one day something different happen. Goku was at home with all his hot girlfriends when a fabric tear in space and time appear and then someone stopped through: It was… OBAMA. But he was bloody and torned up and almost nearly dead. From other Earth, Obama was also super human man who lead own team of amazing fighers to fight evil and wrong. They were the Z-Fighters but since they're from America they were called the A-Fighters. Goku also had been there too.
"Obama-sama!" Goku said. "What happen?"
"It's terrible Goku-sand!" Obama managed to say as he spitted up blood. "America… is…. in… trouble…"
"Oh no!' Goku said. "Not America, it's my favorite!"
"Yes…" Obama said as he kept spittling more blood. "I'm… Afriad… America… may… be… doomed… no… the… whole… world… may… be… doom!"
"Not the world!" Goku said. "It's my other favorite!"
"You're… the… only… one… strong… enough… Goku…" Obama said as he dying. "He's… too… strong..." and then he actually died for real.
"NO! !1!" And then Goku stared at Obama's dead body and he got mad and then he knew what he had to do and he flew through the portal into the rift that lead to other America.
It was seriosuly bad. There was not a drop of sunlight in the sky, and dark clouds were everywhere, and everything was super broken with windows and walls and floors and more walls caving in to all the buildings. But one building still stood: the White House. Goku was happy that it was not gone, but then he heard a voice.
"Ha ha ha!" an ugly orange man said appearing on a TV on the front of the Whit House.
"Who are you?" Goku said.
"I am Lord Emperor Supreme Donald Trump!" Lord Emperor Supreme Donald Trump said with still laughing.
"You kill Obama?" Goku asked.
"Yes," Lord Emperor Supreme Donald Trump said.
"Then I kill you!" Goku shouted.
"Not so fast, Goku!" The screen moved and showed people beaten up and tied up and bloody behind Lord Emperor Supreme Donald Trump: it was other A-Fighters, members of Obama's taem of super strong fighting people. Hillary Clinton, Michael Obama, Obama's wife, Joseph Biden, probably some Kennedy, and Whoppi Goldberg.
"You monster!" Goku shotted at teh screan.
"If you want to save them, you must first prove you are strong enough to fight me by fight my children!" Lord Emperor Supreme Donald Dump said.
"Okay." Goku nodded. There was a very loud sound and then the White House was crushed as Trump Tower had flown from New York and landed on top of it. Then the door opened.
"Come up and face me, if you dare!" Lord Emperor Supreme Donald Duck laugh. And he did.
Goku ran into a big empty square room. It was tall with seats above them for watching from spectators and death hanged heavily in the air while blood splatters coated the walls and floor. It was dark but then torches came on and Goku saw his first challenge.
"You must first beat my youngest son, whats-his-name!" Lord Emperor Supreme-Pizza Donald Trump laughed from another TV on the wall.
"It's Barron, dad," the whiniest Trump whined. Despite being a little bitch, he was also super buff, probably from steroids. His suit flexed under his musclies as he moved about.
"I don't care what your name is, if you don't beat Goku I'm cutting your allowance down to a million dollars," The orangest Trump said.
"I won't give you a chance!" Goku said. He moves super fast and is suun on Barron who then Gokuu kicked high into the hair before kicking him again and and again and again and performing a super sweet combo before slamming him down into the ground with a mega punch (but not like the Pokemon move because all the newer games in that series suck too).
Goku smirk at teh TV and Trump just smirk back.
"He's not that strong, but I admit you beat him," he said and the doors opposite Goku open up and lead up some stairs. "Your next challenger will be even tought!"
"I just wanted to play Minecraft…" whined the soundly-defeated ten year old. Goku kicked him once more as he runs by and up the stairs and into another room like the first one but this time it's gold and less death but with also no people.
"Your next text is to fight my stupid daughter," Lard Emperor Supreme Donald Trump said.
(LOOK UP SOME WAY TO MAKE FUN OF WHATEVER HER NAME IS AND HAVE GOKU BEAT HER UP TOO)
Goku ran up even more stars and into a different room that was big and empty and square but was green.
"That was a tough fight," Goku said, whipping his brow of sweat. "But I'm not tired."
"Then you'll have to face us!" Two people shouted at Goku.
"We're the two actually good Trump Sons!" Another shout. Goku look and seed two men but only for a second because then they did the fushion dance and turned into a giant butt with one man face for a cheek and another man face for another cheek but it also had arms and legs and had a tie which covered its butthole.
"We won't disappoint our dad!" the butt said. "He already doesn't not love anybody but himself and money!"
"You're deli usual!" Goku said, and knew he was not going to be able to beat up a giant butt on his own power. He finally went super saiayan but not very much and then the butt laughed but it laughed farts.
"We know all you trucks, Goku!' the butt said. "You cannot win beat us!"
"I'm going to kick your butt!" Goku said. Goku punched the butt butt, its cheeks were too soft and his brunch just bounce off. Goku was confusion so he try again and again but still it did not am work.
"Oke, our turn!" and the butt punched Goku with its butt arm and it was so strong that Goku fly backwards and leave a hole in the wall and then the butt laughed farts again.
"You think being Super Sand makes you strang?" the butt said. "We know. Your tricks and, won't lose!" Goku was starting to get some desperate. He could go even stronger than butt, he knew that, but then he would not have the energy to beat up Lord Emperor Supreme Donald Grump later. Instead he do what he never do before and think, and he knew how to beat the butt-brothers. Goku punch through the wall and was outside and then he fired a kamehamehemehima straight at the butthole.
"Auauauauaghasfkl!" the butt tryed to shut as it was rip in two. Goku flied back in and saw the butt brother were back to normal but also were bloody and beaten and he knew he had one. The door opened and he wet on up.
"Maybe you really art strong," Lord Empire Steak Donald Trump say as Goku reach the final level. "But you have one more person to beat before me." The room was dark but it was also out in the open with a wind blowing clean through the building and all around the opening was dark clourds and smoke and then it was blown away revealing a woman standing between Goku and another door.
"You must beat my totally sexy daughter!" Lord Emperor Rump laugh. "Who I'd totally date if she wasn't my daughter!"
"That sick," Goku spit.
"Not as sick as you'll be when I'm done with you!" she say and rush him with lightning fast speed. Goku was not peppered and she kick him hir high heel and it stab into him because the high heel was also a sword, except then it shoot and it was also a gun! Goku was fast enough and she shot at him and he flew away and blocked bullets with his fists or dodged them but wasn't hurt by them.
"I'm going to kill you!" Trump's sexy daughter said, and pulled a rocket launcher out of her perse and shot it at Goku. The explosion blew up the building a little but Goku was fine, but then was another rocket and then another and the building start to crumple a bit. Goku used his brian again and then had a good idea. Trumps sexy daughter was human! And Couldn't fly like him! So he rush at her between rockets and grab her and toss her off the building.
"Nooooo!" she shouted as she flell down to her death with a splat that Goku couldn't hear.
"I'm coming for you!" Goku say and didn't even wait for the door to open and instead just punch it down and run up the stairs to Lady Empress Superman Donald Trump's oval office which was at the top and was super huge and open but he sat at a desk with his wife next to him and the rest of the A-Fighters still tired up behind him.
"I have to admit, you're strong," Trump said with an evilicious grin. "You could join me! We could be evil together and rule America and we'd be strong enough to even rule the whole world!" Goku liked the idea of being insanely powerful and ruling the world, but not if it meant hurting his friends!"
"I like the idea of beong insanely powerful and ruling the world, but not if it meant hurting his friends!" Goku shouted.
"Then I must kill you," Trump said, and push a button on his desk. A thing fall around him and then it went away and he was now in a suit of power armor that looked just like him.
"I killed Obama with this armor," Trump said, showing Goku a bloody fist. He smirk and flip Goku the bird. "Now I kill you with it too."
Goku did not waist any time. This was the final fight, the big one, if he were to save America, this would be it! He unleahsed his full power and then he trie to pump Trunch, but he was fast enough that even with it all he block it with ease! Goku try to punch and Trump try to punch but they just block eachotherpunches. Except Trump was a dirty cheater.
"Let's see you stop this!" he say, and press a button inside his suit. A giant wall fall down and seprat Goku from him. The wall was big and thick and made out of money. Except money burns, and Goku punched it so fast that it caught fire and went away. Trump got angry and press another button and a woman falled from the ceiling. Tramp grabbed her and swung her at Goku like a sword, but Gokuu punch his arm and she fall and walked away.
"Let's take this outside!" Goku said, grabbing the robo-Trump and fling him outside. But Frump had rocket boots and he could fly too!
"I hope you can breathe in space!" Trimp say, and grabbed hold of Goku and flew up to the moon. Trump smiled, but then Goku smile too because Master Chief taught him how to breathe in space! This shooked Trump and then Goku punched him so hard he flew back to Earth and Goku went after him.
"Why are you so strong?" Tromp said, struggling to get up
"Because I fight for my friends," Goku said, super cool. "You don't have any." Trump smiled.
"I do have one friend!" he said, and pushed a button. His fists turned into nukes with the Russian flag painted on the side. "And he gave me these!"
"No! You'll kill everyone!" Goku said.
"But you too!" Douchebag said, and he pressed a button. Goku thought again and grabbed Trump and flung him into space. Except the Nukes didn't fly out like missiles, instead they just exploded because secretly Trump didn't actually have friends and even Russia hated him too. The nukes blew him up but he survived and crashed back down to earth at Goku's feet, except then he died.
"I win," Goku said, and flew back to Trump Tower. He freed all the A-Fighters and then tied up Trump's Wife.
"You saved us Goku!" Joe Bidden Said Smiling.
"I am sorry that Trump murdered your husband," Goku said to Michael. She smile sadly and nod. Goku went back to normal, but then something terrible happened! Goku felt a sharp thing pierce his back and hit his heart and he cafed up blood.
"But… Who…?" he manages to say. He turd and look and saw… Hillary.
"But… Why…?" he ask. She giggled.
"I wanted America all for myself!" she said as she stabbed him again. "So I let Trump win because I knew Obama would go and warn you and you'd kill him all along!"
"Do not go and taking all the credit!" Trump's wife said, easy breaking through her ropes. "I helped too! Together, we'll rule America and the world!" Hillary and Trump's Wife then stabbed and killed the rest of the A-Fighters and threw them out the window.
"You lost!" They said as they went to stab Goku. But then, a shiny light appeared in the sky, and a thing broke through the building. Hillary and Trump's Wife hissded and ran back int dark.
"Who are you?" Goku said. Then the light cleared and he saw: it was Kernel Berney Sanders!
"Quick Goku, there is no time," Kernel Sanders said, holding out a hand to Goku. "You must fuze with me, and we can save America!" Goku grabbed his hand and they did the fushion dance. Hillary and Trump's Wife look on in horror as Goku and Kernel Sanders dissapered in a light, only to be replaced. Goku was not Goku anymore, and Kernel Sanders was not Kernel Sanders anymore they had turned into the ultimate source of good: Jesus! Jesus Jesus Punched Hillary so hard she went straight to hell and then he Jesus Kicked Trump's Wife so hard that she also went to hell. But their work was not done yet. Jesus went around and punched all the A-Fighters back to life, then punched all the building's fixed, then punched the economy so hard that it was fixed and everyone was happy.
THE END