Okay, guys. Here I am, Madi's partner in crime (aka Mad Ink), going on my own adventure. It's gonna be a fun time, it is. You should stick around.

DISCLAIMER: Doctor Who isn't mine. I don't own it. Wish I did. Now let's get on with the show.

THEME SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER: Duder's a Spy- Little White Lie

Doctor Who Theme- Murray Gold

"Claire is a spy… hey look at that guy…" I somersaulted and flipped over objects in my basement, red converse and black skinny jeans on.

So I play ninja sometimes. It's fun. And I'm a beast at being ninja. Until while walking backwards I tripped over the overweight orange cat who shared my residence.

"Shit!" I cursed, catching myself in a backwards somersault as I fell. "Calvin, why are you in –"

My words were lost as something blue and swirly showed up in my peripheral vision, and I rolled through it. Not a-fucking-gain. Madi LIED. About a week or two ago, my internet friend known as Mad Ink and I were inexplicably pulled into the Maximum Ride series. We wreaked havoc and twisted the plot a bit, but then I was returned as though nothing had ever happened. I had written it off as a dream, and Madi had gone along with it. But obviously, she was lying, because here was the goddamned portal.

I squeezed my eyes shut, then hit solid ground and kept rolling, until my head smacked something hard. Opening my eyes a bit, I saw grating of some sort, which provided no clue at all to where I was. Until I heard laughing; Three laughing voices that seemed vaguely familiar in some way. They sounded like I'd heard them before, in a dream- or a TV show. My favorite TV show.

I couldn't be sure. But there was a very real possibility that when I looked up I would see someone I watch on BBC's Sci-Fi Daily.

Hesitantly, I poked my head up and saw a man with dark hair, a navy blue trench coat, and suspenders. Immediately, my mind whirred into action.

Captain Jack Harkness, of Doctor Who and Torchwood. And I was in the TARDIS, that amazing blue police box that flew through time and space. I recognized the weird, slightly dirty-looking intereior. Leaning my head a bit to the left I could see the other two passengers- Rose Tyler and the Doctor, in his ninth regeneration.

The Doctor is an alien. A Time Lord, hailing from the planet Gallifrey. He is, or he thinks he is, the last of the Time Lords.

He is also pretty fucking amazing. He can regenerate into a new body as a way of cheating death, has a cool sonic screwdriver, and is just awesome in general. And here I was, in his TARDIS, zooming through time and space. One step outside those doors was the Time Vortex.

Holy pancakes.

Now, if I was right, and I most likely was, then I was in the very beginning of the Bad Wolf episode of the first season. Which meant big shit was about to go down, like Doctor 9 regenerating into Doctor 10, Rose absorbing the Time Vortex and Jack dying and being brought back. Oh, and the Daleks turning to dust.

I know my Doctor Who. Don't doubt it.

But they didn't know I was there, they were still having a laugh. So, rolling from my back and into a crouching position, registering that I was behind the TARDIS console, I figured I'd take a leap of faith and let my presence be known.

"Hello!" I said, waving a bit. "My name's Claire!"

No point in being unfriendly. I love these fictional people. I am very attached to this show. If I'm going to be in it for a short time, then I might as well be their homie. Plus, it's likely that I'll die here. The Daleks are not merciful. If I'm going to die, I don't want to spend my last day hated.

The Doctor furrowed his eyebrows, and Jack and Rose looked confused.

"Who?" Jack asked.

"Are you Slitheen?" Rose asked.

The Doctor had crossed over to me. I never realized how tall he was until he was standing directly over me. He grabbed hold of the collar of my oversized red sweater and hauled me to my feet and over to the others.

"Hey!" I protested, struggling. "And do I look Slitheen? Seriously!"

"How did you get onto the TARDIS?" The Doctor asked, not very kindly. "I would have noticed a stowaway."

I held my hands up in the universally known symbol of surrender.

"Look, I don't know! I just ended up here! It's not my fault! I'm one hundred percent human, if that helps. Except – "

I couldn't resist. This worked in Maximum Ride-land. "I can see the future. You're the Doctor, and um… your song is ending." Sorry, Russel T. Davies, bringing that line in a few seasons early. " And you're Captain Jack Harkness. You're going to meet someone very special soon who makes really excellent tea and isn't bad looking."

Jack looked pleased at that. The Doctor looked a bit concerned and confused. I saved Rose for last. She gazed at me curiously, and a bit worriedly.

"And you're Rose Tyler, and…" I smiled. "Yeah."

So I gave her a cryptic message. But she would find out what it meant soon enough, because right about now she should be a bit in love with the Doctor, and should be wondering if maybe the Doctor was also a bit in love with her. I'd just given her an answer to her unasked question.

There was a momentary silence as the three contemplated what I said.

"You're still not supposed to be on here." The Doctor glowered. "How did you even –"

I sighed, "Seriously, I don't know. There was a blue light, and I was a ninja, and then I was here. I swear, that's it. And it's the truth, no matter how silly it sounds."

I could tell the Doctor was about to reply, but a bright white light cut him off. There as one on all sides of us, and Rose and Jack seemed to be getting farther away. Oh God, I'd forgotten about this part. How could I forget about this part? It's what starts this whole episode! All I could get in before I blacked out was: "OH SHIT, TRANSMAT BEAM!"

Footnoter time! Okay, so this was a short chappie, but whatever. Read on, my minions, read on.