"You didn't win you lost"
Three minutes.
Years and years of battles he proudly won ended to nothing in three minutes.
A game.
He loved to play games, except this time he was the one whose been played with.
And she played him right, it only took her three minutes and a coffin to open him, to say the unsaid.
"Emotional context Sherlock it destroys you every time"
He walked to the lid and looked to the written words.
Three words.
Three simple words had the power to destroy everything.
Every time he kept them inside his heart and locked them away in the dark because he didn't want to get hurt.
Every time he trained his tongue not to say those words together till they felt not only forbidden but alien too.
He remembered every slight kiss on her cheek that heated his lips and once burnt his heart when she moved on.
He remembered the warmth of his cheek under her lips before he left the safety of her home after his death.
He remembered every moment he wanted to spill the words out of his mouth but his good tongue was trained well and never failed him.
He remembered them all while he lifted the lid and walked to the damnable coffin and put it on.
"I'd say you'd better break it off now and save yourself the pain ... because I like you?!"
No
"I don't count" but I love you?!
No
"You've always counted and I've always trusted you ... and I've always loved you"
No
"I hope you'll be very happy, Molly Hooper ... because I love you"
NO
Stepping unconsciously in front of her when Smith came, he wasn't even aware of what he was doing, he suddenly had the need to protect her from this snake's eyes.
NO
He ran his hand near the unheavenly words, not able to touch them and sobbed.
All the moments he could say them to her and refused so he wouldn't get hurt, wouldn't feel weak for anyone.
"No" he couldn't keep his protests inside anymore.
"Say it likeyou mean it"
Now not only he revealed his deep hidden love, but she wouldn't even believe him, she believed she's an experiment, a joke.
"No"
He didn't just hurt himself he hurt her too.
"NO"
The coffin had it coming.
He rained all his anger and rage and agony over it screaming his helplessness.
He thought it would make him feel better to break it down to pieces but it didn't, it only exhausted him more and more.
His legs couldn't hold him anymore and his hands were shaking.
He fell to the floor panting and feeling numb, he couldn't take it anymore.
John.
His friend.
He always was his strength.
"Soldiers?"
"Soldiers."
He took his hands and rose him from the ground, as he always did.
He vowed to himself if he ever left these hell's walls alive he would fix it for her, for them no matter what was the cost.
But now wasn't the time.
The game wasn't over.
And he knew it wasn't getting any easier.