One
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs looked down at the sketch book in his hands and tried to fight back the tears that were coming, he flipped to the last page of the book and was surprised to find an envelope taped to the back, his name written on the front. He carefully pulled it free from the tape and opened it, once again fighting back tears at seeing Kate's familiar writing.
Dear Gibbs,
If you are reading this it is because I have died, and if I am dead that means you are still blaming yourself for it, stop. Unless you shot me because you were annoyed with me then you didn't cause this and it is not your fault, I need you to forgive yourself because you can't do what I'm about to ask you to do if you don't forgive yourself.
Four years ago I had a little girl, her name is Ava-Grace, I know you lost your little girl and maybe I'm being selfish for asking you this but I see the love and caring in your eyes when you look at kids, please take care of my baby for me, she is my world, I know you'll love her like I do. I have started a trust fund to pay for her school and my life insurance went straight into there, there is around $300,000.00, please use it if she needs anything or she wants to do sports or some other activity. I know you'll see how special she is, she's so smart and talented, she loves the piano.
All of her important information is with her nanny whom she is staying with, only my sister knows about her the rest of my family doesn't know, I didn't want them to treat her badly because I had her out of wedlock when I was young, if she wants to meet them eventually I would be okay with that. I know it is a huge thing to ask and I wouldn't have if it wasn't important to me but I know you would never let anything happen to her, please protect my baby. Let her know that I love her so much and I'm always watching over her, but also make sure she knows it's okay to move on, she's allowed to have someone else fill the mother role in her life.
Now Abby since I know you've gotten a hold of this letter by now please be there for my little girl, be an aunty for her, be someone she can trust. Please help her with her homework, if she's anything like me then she's going to suck at science and math, maybe take her to church every once in awhile. Please remember how much I love you and try not to cry over me, remember the happy times and make sure Gibbs doesn't beat himself up over this.
Tony, I'm expecting you to be the scary uncle, you'd better scare off any boys that try to get near my little girl, teach her how to laugh and how to protect herself, but don't let her live in fear, make sure she's happy. Even though we drove each other crazy know that you were like a brother to me and that I love you, keep yourself out of danger and take care of yourself, no more kissing transvestites, I mean unless that's your thing now.
Tim, please help her with her homework, make sure Tony doesn't bug her too much and that Gibbs isn't too over protective, I know you'll be a great uncle to her just like you were a great friend to me, love you Tim, take care of yourself and stand up to Tony every once in awhile.
Ducky, you're on grandfather duty, you took care of me the whole time I was at NCIS from the very first moment you were like a father to me. Look after my baby, tell her all of your stories, make sure she reads often and asks lots of questions about the world around her, DO NOT LET HER SEE A BODY! (Gibbs stopped reading to chuckle at that) Please love her for me, they always said it takes a village to raise a child, I need you to take care of that village, thank you for everything you did for me, and for not telling them what the tattoo was, I love you.
Jimmy, I need you to be the person who keeps Gracie down to earth, help her to laugh at herself when things go bad, help her to see the good in the world that you see, please help everyone to smile and keep laughing. Keep the joy in their lives Jimmy, help them to find the little pieces of sunshine in an otherwise dark world, keep reminding them that none of them are alone.
To my replacement, I don't know who you are but welcome to the family, you'll find everyone a bit overwhelming at first but you will grow to love them, Gibbs can be grumpy but you won't meet a man with a better heart. Tony can be annoying and goofy but he's a sweetheart deep down, Tim is shy and a little bit awkward but he's a genius and he cares deeply about his family. They can be long but always listen to Ducky's stories they're full of life lessons and be patient with Jimmy and you'll find that he's one of the happiest people you'll ever meet. As for Abby, don't judge her based on how she looks she's the sweetest person alive, she may not like you at first but she'll warm up eventually just don't give up on her and Abby play nice, make sure you give them a chance.
Now Gibbs I want to say thank you for what you're about to do for me, it means the world to me, please love her like I do, I know she's not Kelly and I don't expect or want her to be a replacement but I know you'll do your best with her. I don't know how I died but please know that I'll always be your Katie, please don't spend time blaming yourself, move on with your life and be happy, find someone who makes you happy, show my little girl what a family looks like, she's never had that, I left a few more notes in a large file at home you'll find it in my desk drawer. Until then please know you meant the world to me and that I would gladly do everything over again, I wouldn't change a thing. Please be the daddy my little girl never had, while you're taking care of my little girl I'll make sure yours is okay, I'll give her and Shannon a hug for you and remind them how much you love them.
With all my love,
Caitlyn Todd
Gibbs had to re-read the letter several times before he finally understood what most of it meant, he swiped at his eyes when he felt the tears starting to well up once again, finally he took a shuddering breath and folded the letter back up before slipping it back into the envelope along with the sticky note attached that had the address and phone number where he could find Grace. He looked up when a shadow fell over his desk and he felt more then heard someones presence in front of him, he looked up to see NCIS' new Director, his ex-partner and lover Jennifer 'Jenny' Shepard.
"Are you alright Jethro?" She asked softly.
"I'm fine." He responded, trying to hide what he was feeling.
"I know you're lying." She whispered, giving him a knowing look.
Gibbs sighed and handed her the letter, giving her a moment to read it over, Jenny looked at him with wide eyes when she had finished reading, she had found out about Shannon and Kelly when she had became director, it had been part of his file so she knew a bit of the back story but it was Kate's request that had her completely shocked.
"I wasn't aware you and Agent Todd were involved." Jenny commented, trying to tread carefully.
"We weren't, we were close but we weren't together, I have a rule against that." Gibbs spoke softly.
"Where was that rule when we worked together?" Jenny asked raising an eyebrow.
"It came into effect after that," Gibbs replied, roughly running a hand over his face again.
"What can I do to help?" Jenny asked softly.
"I don't know right now, I've gotta make my house a bit more kid friendly I guess, I'll have to repaint Kelly's room, I'll let her pick whatever she wants in there." Gibbs replied, still processing everything, "can you take my team off rotation for a few days? I'm gonna need their help and it's going to be a long night, I'm gonna have to get the house cleaned before I pick her up tomorrow."
"No problem, I'll give your cases to Balboa, I can find someone to fill in for Ducky and Ms. Sciuto as well."
"Get Carol from the VA to fill in for Abby, it'll be the only way she can relax without being around her lab, Ducky is pretty easy going." Gibbs told her, hoping she would take the advice.
"I'll make some calls and bring them in." Jenny replied with a nod, "why don't I come and help you clean out Kelly's room tonight? That way you can clean out anything that might make your team ask questions, unless you want to do it alone." She quickly amended, not wanting to pressure him.
Gibbs nodded at her, and waited while she went to grab her things from her office, while he was waiting he shut down his computer and turned off his lights, by the time she came back downstairs he was waiting by the elevator jacket in hand.
"I need to stop and grab some stuff on the way home, I ordered food we just have to pick it up." Gibbs informed her as they stepped off the elevator.
"Sounds good to me, I told my security to take the night off." Jenny replied, following him to his car.
"You sure that's such a good idea?" Gibbs asked raising an eyebrow at her.
"I've got my gun, I can take care of myself." Jenny replied, climbing into the passenger seat.
"Yeah, I know you can." Gibbs agreed quietly, starting the car and pulling out of the lot.
They sat in companionable silence until Gibbs pulled into a hardware store that was open twenty four hours, they both got out of the car and Jenny followed him into the store.
"What do we need, Jethro?" She asked, watching Gibbs fight back a smirk at her use of we.
"Some stuff to clean with, white paint so I can at least start painting the base boards before Ava picks out whatever colour she wants for the room."
"Are you going to need help with taking her to pick out colours and stuff?" Jenny asked.
"Probably, I'm not so good with decorating, Shannon or one of the exes always did it, I would ask Abby or Ziva but I'm afraid of what the room would look like if Abby helped and Ziva's colour choices run from white to tan and that's about it."
Jenny gave a small chuckle, "you're probably right, Ziva seems to be fitting in well."
"She and Abby are having a bit of a hard time and the boys are taking some time to adjust but they'll figure it out." Gibbs replied.
Jenny looked over at Gibbs and could see the fondness on his face as he talked about his team, she was one of the only people who could see past his masks, past the shield he put up to protect himself.
"They mean a lot to you don't they?" She asked gently.
Gibbs turned to look at her, her pale skin was even paler under the fluorescent lights of the store and her red hair was contrasting brightly against it.
"Yeah, they do." He replied honestly, no matter how hard he tried Jenny was the one person he could never bring himself to lie to.
N*C*I*S
Jenny looked around the light pink room she now stood in, it was a good sized room with a large window looking out to the backyard, there was a window seat set right into the wall with built in book shelves on either side. With the exception of some boxes and a few odds and ends that clearly belonged to a little girl the room had been emptied already, she watched Gibbs who was standing in the middle of the room carefully, on the outside he seemed okay but she could tell that on the inside he was fighting for control.
"Are you sure you don't want to put her in the guest room?" She asked quietly, as she walked up behind him.
"Yeah, that's where the team stays when they spend the night, need to keep it there for them. It's time this room saw some new life anyway." Gibbs replied, sighing before he picked up a box and carried down the hallway to the stairs for the attic.
Jenny picked up a box and followed him, they worked in silence until the room was almost completely empty with the exception of a few books that Gibbs had left on the bookshelf, as soon as the room was empty they cracked open a can of white paint and got to work painting the baseboards and touching up the window seat and bookshelves.
"When are you going to tell your team about her?" Jenny asked as they finished painting.
"I'm going to call Ava's nanny tomorrow and see if I can pick her up then I'll bring her by the Yard and tell them, I'll see how she does with that then maybe take her to pick out paint and furniture." Gibbs replied, "how the hell am I going to do this?" Gibbs muttered, sitting back on his heels and running his hand roughly over his face.
"You won't be doing it alone, you have your team." She reminded him gently.
"Yeah." Gibbs agreed with a nod and a sigh, "you can crash in the guest room if you want Jen, 's late." He suggested when he caught a glimpse of his watch and saw that it was already 0130.
"I can call my driver to pick me up, I don't have pyjamas or anything here." She reminded him.
"You can borrow one of my shirts, there's a new toothbrush in the guest bathroom, don't bother your driver, I'll drive you home tomorrow morning before work." He suggested, seeing how tired she looked, it would take half an hour to drive her home and she needed more then two hours of sleep before going back to the office the next morning.
"Thanks." Jenny agreed quietly, realizing how tired she now felt.
She gathered up their painting supplies and brought them downstairs to clean up while Gibbs went to get a spare t-shirt for Jenny to sleep in. She rinsed the paint brushes in the sink and smirked to herself at the irony of the situation, so much for no outside of work, here she was standing in his kitchen about to crawl into his guest bed, albeit alone.
"I put towels out in the bathroom, there's some shampoo and some of that conditioner crap in the shower, figured you might want to wash off." He said, eyeing her dirty clothes, only now realizing that she had been wearing dress pants and a nice blouse to paint in.
Jenny looked down and eyed her filthy, paint covered outfit distastefully, "guess I should've changed before painting."
"Send me the dry cleaning bill." Gibbs offered.
"Don't worry about it, wasn't my favourite outfit anyway." Jenny replied with a shrug, accepting the old USMC t-shirt from Gibbs, "why do you have conditioner anyway?" She asked, remembering his earlier comment.
"Abby leaves it here so when she spends the night she has it, pretty sure DiNozzo uses it too." He replied, rolling his eyes as he thought about his Senior Field Agent Anthony 'Tony' DiNozzo and lab tech Abigail 'Abby' Sciuto.
"Do they spend the night here often?" Jenny asked, turning back to the sink to finish rinsing out the paint brushes.
"After a bad case DiNozzo will stay, Abby comes whenever something goes wrong with her apartment." Gibbs replied, motioning for her to step aside, "go shower, I'll finish this."
Jenny nodded and made her way up the stairs to where she knew the guest bathroom was. Downstairs Gibbs finished cleaning up in the kitchen, letting his thoughts wander to Kate, then to Ava and finally on to Shannon and Kelly. He wasn't sure how he was going to be able to handle having another child, never mind another little girl, in the house, he missed his first wife and daughter every single day. His feelings of loss over Shannon had eased over the years, it was still there but he had learned to love again when Jenny had come into his life for the first time. The sense of loss had come crashing back when Jenny had left though, this time doubled, but his loss over Kelly had never lessened or become easier to bear. Every time they had a case involving a child thoughts of his daughter with her light brown hair and bright blue eyes came crashing back almost suffocating him. He remembered how well Kate had done with Sandy Watson and he now understood why she was so confident with the child, she'd had practice.
He turned off the tap and set the brushes to dry before shutting off the kitchen light and making his way downstairs into the basement. Half an hour later he heard footsteps on the floor above him and looked to the top of the stairs to see Jenny standing there, his USMC shirt falling just above her knees.
"You going to bed?" He asked when she didn't speak, he kept his eyes on her face trying not to look at her bare legs or the way her damp hair fell over her shoulders.
"Yeah, you need some sleep too Jethro." She reminded him gently, knowing that if it were up to him he would sit in the basement and drink the night away.
"Just need a few minutes." He replied quietly.
Jenny nodded in understanding, "goodnight Jethro." She whispered, before slipping back into the kitchen and heading up to bed.
Thank you for reading! I don't own NCIS or anything related to it and I don't know how long this story will actually be, right now it's just something I'm playing around with so there probably won't be regular updates or anything. I'm going to try for once a week but we'll see how that goes… I love reviews and comments, this will be eventual JIBBS and lots of Papa Gibbs and eventually Mama Jenny!
Ellie