Unfinished Business

by Da'khari

A throwback fic it's very much based on the series with a POV from Sam, Mercy and Samcedes as they walk us through their relationship, filling in the gaps we never saw, hope you have as much fun remembering and wishing as I did

1. Chapter 1

I really hope you enjoy this fun fic, it's been in my saved fics for a while, if nothing else I hope it makes you smile as you take a walk back through the relationship we grew to love, known as Samcedes, I love this paring and I guess this is my take on all the storylines Fox missed out on presenting for them

Unfinished Business

Sam Evans POV

Goodbye

I suppose to fully explain myself I'd have to go back to the beginning of the end I guess, it was the end of school for Mercy anyway, I was watching her do their rendition of 'Sit down your rocking the boat' having a laugh when Will came in putting a downer on everything telling us to say bye to the people we love. It hit me like a bolt all I could see was Mercy looking at me like that was a fucking good thing he'd just said, I knew her too damn well she'd already got her "We're no good for each other" thing going on in her damn head

Lock the fucking door, yeah that was the best idea she's ever had and if I could have I'd have made that happen, I'd only just got her back, and she was distancing herself from me already, she was on the other end of the room from me, nobody would have even thought we were still together, coming to think of it, if there was one thing she was good at it was break ups

We had the conversation of course we did, she'd sort of put my mind at rest as she always did, it was easy for her to do she knew how my mind worked and her words meant everything to me. We were at least going to believe in our love, and that meant keep it alive right? So yeah, I was more than fucking happy when she got her recording contract, back up singing on some Indie label, we knew it was a start and she admitted she couldn't have done it without me, I was so proud of us

I'd heard that Santana had decided to stay in Lima because Brittany hadn't passed out and I thought maybe Mercy would do the same for me, stay that is. I asked her and she thought I'd gone fucking mad, she hated whenever I brought stuff to her from other people, but she always went full out on it if it ever came from Quinn or Santana, she never used the word jealousy but that's what I figured it was, she was mad at me for a while, but she came out of it after I played the fool a bit and sort of made her think it was all a prank

I sat watched her dancing and singing to us about dreamers diseases, smiling like we hadn't just had one of our bigger blow outs, tensions were getting high as time got closer, I was thinking this is the last time I'm ever going to see her sing in this room, I smiled about it but seriously I did that for her I was sinking. I kept the arguments up because I wanted her to eventually feel bad enough to say she'd stay, but when we were thinking about what song to sing to them, I sort of realised I was being super selfish. I sung with the others to her and I wanted to cry, I just kept looking around the room reminding myself that everyone was in the room, and she needed me to be strong. Then my wish happened, she'd had a super flip out about going all the way to LA on her own again, into the unknown, I saw my opportunity to talk her into believing it was all too much for her and I opened my mouth to start the process but my heart wouldn't let me hurt her like that, I did the right thing and talked her back up.

Watching Finn send Rachel off to New York on that damn train was hard I knew that was going to be me in a few weeks time and I didn't handle it half as gracefully as they did. God I wanted to yell at myself as I watch myself telling her not to go, making her choose between me and her life, I just couldn't be brave about it, I felt like my whole heart was being ripped out of my chest and she was just going to turn and walk away with it, in her case with not even a single tear

"Mercy" I shouted "If you step on that damn bus I mean it, it's the end for us"

"Sam, you're not believing..."

"You mean you're not believing in what I'm standing here telling you" I hissed back, the pain I was feeling was just too much

"I love you Sam, I always will" she walked back to me, grabbed my face and stood telling me, I really didn't want to hear it I just wanted her to stay

"Then stay with me"

"Sam" she looked at me saying, tears falling, I could tell she was hurting but at this point I was being totally selfish

"Stay Mercy" I begged

"Sam you wanted this for me too, you know I'm waiting for you" she pulled me into her, both our faces were wet, the kiss was salty, painful and urgent all at the same time suddenly she let me go and as I opened my eyes I saw her stepping onto the bus

"Mercy" I actually ugly cried as she found a seat and sat crying as she looked back at me, the scene felt familiar for that second I was Finn and she was Rachel, only there was no crowd waving behind us, no smiles just two hearts breaking rather loudly, I stepped off as the bus made its move and suddenly I was running, reminding her to call me, telling her I loved her watching more tears fall down her face and then there was no more breath, I stood running, watching until there was no more bus to see, wiped my face, got back to the jeep and cried some more, I'd like to say until I felt better, but that never actually happened.

There wasn't much of it left but the rest of the summer was crap I was mourning the death of my only meaningful relationship, I felt like crap, how could I Sam Evans, not keep hold of my girlfriend, maybe I wasn't as sexy as she'd always told me I was. I hadn't seen my family all summer because I wanted to spend every single moment with Mercy, so now she'd gone I went back to Kentucky for a while, I needed my family just then and truth, I thought about not coming back to Lima, I had nothing to go back for, she'd gone, but then I realised, that when she actually came back she'd be coming back to Lima and if I wasn't there I'd never see her again so I packed up at the end of summer and went back to Lima.

The New Rachel

So my first day back at school was pure acting I was, well we all were, still living off the aftermath of the Nationals win, everyone wanted to know a member of the Glee Club, and I was up for getting my ego rubbed. It was good to see Tina, Artie, Blaine and Brittany at school again, I'd actually missed them I guess we all did because we just sort of non-verbally decided we were going to stick together, like tight. Kurt was still about and although that was nice for Blaine, it just made me remember what I was missing, my face sort of dropped every time I saw him, I expected Mercy to come round the corner grab his arm and produce her smile, and that brought back the pain

"Yes we've lost some big voices" Will stood there telling us and straight away I was out the room and thinking about Mercy again as if it was yesterday she'd left, I sat wondering when this was ever going to get easier, would I ever stop seeing her in every corner of the room as I sat on the back row thinking, looking over at our spot. Everyone was so busy talking about them being the new Rachel and shit, I wanted to shout didn't anyone notice that Mercy had gone, she was the damn voice, she'd proved it so many times in this room

Then suddenly Mercy's friend Wade was in the room, joining Glee Club I think I was distracted from what Will was saying when I heard Brittany, sitting beside me, mention Mercy's name "That's a great hair cut Mercedes, I thought you'd graduated?" she directed at Wade. I really wanted to slap her, all I could think to calm myself down was Mercy would have just corrected her and carried on, or shook her head smiling, so I shook my head I couldn't smile, and went back to my Mercy thoughts. "Was that it" was all I could think as I saw people getting up to leave, was that as much as anyone was going to remember that she was in this place, a fucking Wade look alike, she was here helping to win National, less than two months ago, have some respect

Those guys were fighting over who was going to be the new Rachel so hard they missed Marley coming in to take that slot, I must admit I wasn't even bothered, as far as I was concerned they could take what they wanted as long as they found a way to bring Mercy back to me and quick. It had been two months and she hadn't even called I guess she'd took my freak out personal and in all fairness I hadn't calmed down enough to call her yet either. I was missing her like crazy, I guessed she was thinking about me too, you don't start something like what we started and not feel anything, I was seriously still in love with her after all this time

Kurt finally let slip that Mercy was calling him and that she was frightened, feeling out of her depth in the studio, getting a hard time from her new agent and upset because of what had happened between us before she left. There was a lot of information passed over for someone who was letting something slip but, I didn't question it I knew Kurt must have been concerned to let me hear all that. Then suddenly just after update two he announced that Blaine had talked him into going to New York to sort his life out, and before they knew it he'd taken the next flight out of Lima to get there, at least Rachel had company, I was scared for what was happening with Mercy right now, and with no link now that got scarier.

There was some bullying thing going on with that new girl Marley, we found out the dinner lady was her Mom and after everything that had been said I felt I had to apologise to her, mainly because she reminded me of me when I first started trying to be someone I'm not, yeah I laugh as I say that, but somehow she listened to me and eventually the rest of the guys too and joined, then yes she proved she was our new Rachel as the team called it, I laugh as I remembered Tina, Blaine, Brittany and Wade's faces on that.

I guess Brittany came to my attention soon after that, Artie had his eye on Kitty, she was high maintenance if I'd ever seen it, definitely a Quinn type, Blaine and Tina seemed to be hitting that friendship note and that just left Brittany and me. I sort of knew she wasn't happy with the situation between Santana and her, she'd told us Santana wasn't calling or anything and Brittany's behaviour was becoming a bit outlandish. I guess with her missing Santana along with being the oldest Cheerio in the school ever, she was getting a lot of flack, not just from other pupils but staff as well, my hunch turned out to be right when her behaviour resulted in her being thrown off the cheerios, the only other team she was ever a part of, eventually she got a call off Santana and for a short while she was happy again. Tina and Blaine were getting on like a house on fire, I had to stand back and wonder if he was actually gay and in love with Kurt still, I wondered how he could get over him so quickly, how Tina could get over Mike, maybe they were searching for something too, I knew I was, some substitute, I really didn't have romance in my head right then, but hey Brittany was a friend so I made the effort to at least smile and support.

I was so freaked the fuck out when Britt got up and attempted to cut her damn hair in the middle of our song, I guess we all were, but I knew how she actually felt there were so many times I just wanted to do something, anything to stop feeling how I was feeling about Mercy leaving. A hair cut for me would have meant she was on the way back and I was making the effort again to be her Sam, smart, attentive, loving, quiet, kind all the good things she brought out in me when she was around.

Brittany 2.0

Then Brittany went through a stage where she wasn't talking to anyone just drinking lots of coffee and eating excessively just before she had a massive freak out in the corridors, that went viral well before lunch time. I knew what that was all about, I'd imagined myself doing that so many times when people came up in my face talking about anything that vaguely linked to my time with Mercy, every damn thing in the school had a memory. Blaine set up a meeting about it all and somehow she bagged the lead in the beginning of term song, she really had gone past caring and I guess we thought we were trying to make her feel important again in doing that, but that resulted in that lip sync thing we actually went through before getting caught out and the absolute shame of it, was devastating.

Mercy was on the phone within minutes of us leaving the stage, I don't think Blaine actually got to finish his conversation with Kurt before she was filled in, she was actually shouting at me down the phone telling me what we'd put on the line in doing that, she hadn't spoken to me in months and when she did she was shouting at me

"It wasn't me" I was shouting back down the phone at her, I hadn't even agreed to any of this shit

"But Sam you know the values of Glee Club we left you guys to look after it" she shouted back

"Mercy I promise you, I said or did nothing to encourage it"

"You better talk to your people Sam" she told me like I actually had control over anyone

"I think something's wrong with Brittany"

"Well call Santana and let her deal with it, you're my main concern in all this" she told me slamming the phone down before I could tell her she'd just told me she still cared

I looked around the room, seeing Tina stressing on the phone I knew Mike was ripping into her too, Brittany was crying with the phone held to her ear obviously Santana wasn't happy with her, Blaine was constantly saying sorry down his phone and Artie was holding the phone away from his ear "Who's that?" I asked concerned for who was ratting him out

"Rachel" he told me rolling his eyes, I looked at my phone and smiled, maybe I'd come out of this on top already, Mercy wasn't that mad at me, or was it that she didn't really care? I prefer to think the former

But I was more than pissed sitting in front of Will with everyone else getting shouted at again for something that I wasn't a part of. Brittany got up and said something stupid and resigned from Glee Club and I was like "What the fuck" something was wrong, maybe Santana had told her to do that in their call. So in hindsight right at this very moment I ask myself at this point, why didn't I call Santana like Mercy had said? No, that would be too easy to follow simple instructions, I decided to leave a note telling Brittany to meet me in the auditorium, then I got into her head space and started acting like her to help sort her head out, actually she was acting out how I was feeling inside, I wanted to just get Mercy back here by any means necessary, we became friends sat, talked and started planning her come back.

I'd sort of found something to distract me from thinking about things that really mattered to me, learning not to think was fun, somewhere along the line fake became real to me, just like Tina had said it would. We'd had a bit of a heart to heart when I'd found her crying one day on the steps "Tina what's up?" I asked sitting down beside her

"I tried I really did but I can't just be friends with Mike any more I need a clean break"

"But you love him don't you, shit like that doesn't just go away?"

"Of course I love him, that's why I can't do this any more, I need more from him"

"Like?"

"I don't know Sam" she looked at me saying "I mean we went from seeing each other every day to nothing a call now and again and it's not enough, I come to school faking it pretending to be okay and I go home and cry every damn night"

"But you're not on your own there, I know for a fact Brittany does that, Blaine, and of course I do, we miss them we're bound to, we love them, but surely that will keep us going, it's only for a year"

"Sam I'm faking it so hard it's going to seem real to me soon" she laughed through her cry "I need a distraction, and mind I'm not saying a new love interest, just a distraction"

"Me too a real life fake distraction"

"What are we talking here self preservation?"

"If that means protecting our hearts then yes, pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise" she smiled up at me as I stood up and held my hand out to help her up "Thanks Sam" she hugged me saying "I know why Mercy loves you" she told me as we walked, my heart swelled at hearing that

The Makeover

Then I somehow got roped into this competition thing with Artie and Brittany when I became Blaine's VP, please don't ask, that whole year was like blurred, nobody realised I don't think, that I was going down a wormhole, not even me really, it was so subtle.

The lines of communication had quietened down between Mercy and I, the reason for that I know not, Tina had heard from her and apparently she'd been doing some work with some guy called Martin who's name came up an awful lot when Tina was relaying the conversation and I was hell of a jealous about someone that no longer physically belonged to me. So when we won the election, I'd found my excuse, I was straight on the phone to Mercy, don't ask me why, but I needed to hear her voice "Mercy we won, Blaine and I won the election"

"So what you're a student rep now?" she giggled down the phone

"Yeah, well I'm supporting Blaine in doing that"

"Sam I'm so proud of you" she cooed, I could tell it was genuine "So now you have some clout make sure you make it count yeah?

"God yeah, I'll make you so proud of me"

"I'm already proud of you Sam"

"Do you still lo..."

"Sam please, you know how things are between us, live your life"

"But do you?"

"Of course I do, I always will" she smiled I could see her face as she said that regardless of how far away she was

"I love you back" I told her as I stood with the phone against my ear listening to her built me right up till I was at buzzing point, she was so proud

Then I spoke to Blaine and it came back to me that actually she wasn't here and I was back down there "I came to McKinley for Kurt and now he's not here" was all he'd said and I was walking back down the corridor grabbing Mercy's hand and asking her if she thought she was going to get married some day "Yeah I came back to McKinley for Mercy, and yeah now she's gone too" I laughed inside my head, and went straight back into bringing my fantasy back as my reality while I stood listening to Blaine go on as if my life was complete

I told Brittany I voted for her I don't know why I did that, I guess I sort of felt something for her, I was fighting with my inner self, I really didn't know where this feeling had come from, or how the hell I find space for it with Mercy all up in this. I didn't act on anything I dare not, and actually I couldn't tell if it was my real self or my fantasy self that was engaging in these feelings, I'd had the conversation with Brittany about, needing something to occupy our minds, with Tina about self preservation and now I was actually putting some of that into action, I just sat about watching everyone looking for coping strategies, maybe I'd find one that didn't entail kissing another woman.

Then Santana was back and Brittany was happy again, a friend was fine for all intents and purposes but you really needed someone you cared about when you really wanted to be free, mushy or even just to say I love you and mean it, I knew that, I had no one too and plus I was jealous as hell that Blaine and Brittany had their someone.

Truth I was horny as hell, plus I wasn't looking for anything real, my heart was still broken I just needed to paper over some cracks, I wasn't ready for that pain to go away.

Little did we all know that Santana had actually come back to break up with Brittany that week, Brittany was broken, seriously broken and I tried, like everyone else, to keep her spirits up, we'd all seen where her mind could go on a bad day. Blaine was being distant too, so he wasn't being much help. Then out the blue I found Blaine crying in the library "Blaine" I gasped for seeing him curled up shaking "What's up?"

"It's Kurt, he's finished with me" he whispered

I felt like shouting get a fucking grip, it happens to everyone, but seriously, I'd seen where Brittany had gone and she was much stronger, in my opinion, than Blaine, over the weeks he went into some dark depression, so I was getting broken heart stories from Blaine, Tina and Brittany and there was no one there to even notice that I was wondering down that damn wormhole myself. eventually it all got on top of me and I went at Blaine with a vengeance

"It happens to everyone Blaine, you just have to deal with it, what did you do so damn bad anyway?" I asked him, I listened wanting to shout Dude you're seriously not the only one, instead it came out quite sincere to be honest, I think that might have been the first real thing I'd said so far that school year, I know Blaine was singing it but that was exactly how I felt, hopelessly devoted to Mercy, I had to call

"Mercy" I smiled when she actually picked up the phone "I just wanted to hear your voice are you alright?"

"I'm fine Sam, it's good to hear yours too, I miss you guys"

"Are they working you hard enough?"

"Too hard" she laughed

"So you're not getting any time to meet anyone then?"

"Sam" she warned for me going into uncharted territory

"Are you happy then?"

"As I said I'm missing you guys, I'm missing you"

"So you're not seeing anyone then?"

"Sam" she giggled

"Okay, you're making this really difficult for me, when will we see you again?"

"I don't know, soon I hope"

"Just tell your boss it's like seeing your ex-boyfriend soon to be husband day and take the day off or something and come see me" I laughed

"Sam Evans you are crazy" she laughed down the phone

"Crazy about you" I told her and I meant it, we talked some more before she mentioned the studio and closed the call down and I was more than pleased with myself, I'd jumped back into my real life for a few minutes and it felt good

The Role You Were Born To Play

Imagine my fucking head when she came walking into the auditorium with Mike, Finn and Artie a week later doing auditions and apparently helping with the production of Grease we were doing this year, I flipped, she didn't even tell me she was coming, let alone that she'd been around all damn day. I knew she was playing with me, maybe even trying to catch me out at something, but there was nothing to hide I wasn't doing anything, I knew she was pleased about that. Then she was teaching on stage I stood watching as Jake and her started off the singing, and as quick as that I was brought right back to where we were less than five months ago, I wanted her back, but I must admit I was pretty damn mad at her for not giving me the heads up, but the groove was good I couldn't help joining in

We met up at the cafe after that, had a real heart to heart about things I came clean about the way I was feeling and she told me she was kind of lonely out there in LA, all the time watching each others mouths as we talked

"So" I eventually said rubbing my sweaty hands on my jeans, unable to hold it in any more, I was cursing the table for being in between us "I'll get you home"

"Yeah" she jumped up saying as I grabbed her jacket and we made for the door

"So" I looked around the empty street saying as I opened the jeep door "home then" I pulled it open for her to jump in

"Home" she said as she walked past me stopping to look up at me "You're taking me home?" she asked

"Yeah..." I got out before she moved towards me, I know I sighed I heard myself, she was touching me again she'd tiptoed up to me, her lips were touching my cheek making my eyes close and sending light waves of shock through my body, I physically trembled

"If you want me to stop say" she whispered in my ear making my eyes open for a second before I could wait no longer, I grabbed her neck and lifted her lips towards mine with my thumb, looking at the love of my life before I traced the line of her strong cheek bone and pulled her into me. I felt her hand on my head, running down to my neck, she'd found my spot and pulled me deep into her "sorry" she suddenly said pulling her lips away from mine and looking around, that was when I'd remembered too, that we were in the street, we both looked around

"It's okay" was all I could find to say "I'm not going to make this out to be something it wasn't, I wouldn't do that" I smiled at her saying "But I just want it noted that it was perfect and that you kissed me back" I laughed

"As perfect goes, it was pretty perfect" she laughed jumping into the jeep

After that, while she was around we made out a lot, I mean a lot, but in the end of course she had to go back because of her contract. I sort of promised I'd wait for her, she, as you'd guess, begged me not to but of course I wasn't listening, I dived into this production of Grease and blocked everything out for a while, except my time with her.

Finn was in charge and he'd got all us guys to Bert's garage, talking about spot lights, camera's high life, audiences and shit got me thinking right back to Mercy and her new life in LA, and I guess for a second I though about having that too and being right up there with her. Then suddenly it was D day and the whole freaking lot of them turned up, only Joe got some reprieve Quinn was missing, if they were feeling any pain they were hiding it well. Blaine was crying, Finn was moping around, Tina was stomping around mad and I was like satisfied quiet, Mercy and I was getting it together on the down low, I was quietly living in hope that she'd see we were right for each other and decide to do the long distance thing. Then I heard her on the phone to this damn Martin again and I stood wondering why she'd need to talk to him in private and what all the damn laughing was about bringing me right back down. Brittany on the other hand was in seventh heaven Santana was back, the light of her life and she'd snagged a part in the play, so she was going to be around for a while too.

Mercy left again after the production ended, everything went alright except we weren't totally happy with Wade not being able to do his part, and I really didn't know where I was going from that, I'd made friends with Brittany, and Blaine coming to think of it, but they seemed so taken up with their relationships, that were off at the moment, so I couldn't understand their keenness. Brittany was giving off mixed signals, one minute she was laying all over me the next she was oozing Santana, but I guess I was too, I was only ever there half the time, my mind was on Mercy and this Martin guy she wasn't telling me anything about, Blaine had cut his ties with Kurt, so I wasn't getting any information, my mind was on overtime. I didn't want a relationship, not really, but I needed something, a close friend maybe with benefits, I was stressing.

Then I had that conversation with Blaine, he'd told Finn he was going to leave because he'd come to McKinley for Kurt and now he was gone, he was lost. I confronted him asked him not to leave and he finally told me about the guy he actually cheating on Kurt with in some detail. He'd said something about finally knowing they were soulmates, I stood there thinking that would do it for Mercy and me too, if she ever cheated on me, that would do it, somewhere in there Blaine and I clicked, we had more in common than I dared to share with him just then, and he decided to stay

Thanksgiving

Some time later I got a call from Mercy to say she was coming home for Thanksgiving and could we meet up, of course I jumped on it, I just needed to hold my girl, Sectionals was happening too and of course everyone had something to pass on, she went off with Finn and them, I guess they had stuff to catch up on and we met afterwards

"Hi" she smiled taking my kiss

"Hi" I replied I could hear the break in my voice as I spoke "I miss you"

"I miss you too" she looked up at me saying "Are you seeing anyone?"

"No, I told you I'd tell you if I was" I grabbed her round the waist telling her as we went off to go be alone, we always talked into the night, conversation was never a problem for us, then of course that always ended with a heavy make out session which usually ended with her telling me she'd back off if I ever found anyone, and reminding me that we weren't together. She was forever keeping me grounded on that, I guess it was easier than us promising things we knew were impossible right now, and I felt like she cared.

The next day we were at school, trying to decide who should get the main dance part for our first sectionals without our star singers, I gave her my body roll appetiser and I was blown the fuck out when Mercy blatantly said 'No No No" in front of everyone, I know half of that was to do with Santana and Quinn's faces, she really couldn't stand them.

Then suddenly, practice days were done and sectional was upon us, when the whole thing went tits up, everyone was so upset. It was maybe a week later, once everyone had gone back to college and stuff that the fact that we had nothing to practice for hit us. Everyone in glee club sort of went a bit off the rails, Mercy had binned me again and with everything else going on I took this time really hard, I mean we'd just lost sectionals, total kick in the teeth, this could mean the end of Glee Club and she just up and left, yeah she asked me if I was alright and everything and of course I said I was, but she knew I wasn't, I know she knew that, so I kicked back.

Yep I did it, I made a play for Brittany, and yes I know it wasn't the right thing to do but I was lonely, you have no idea how it feels to constantly be rejected by the one person in the world you love, I was shocked she took the bait to be honest and the song was all about Mercy and I guess she was singing to Santana and we both had the acting skills going on there, but then I overstepped the mark and tried to kiss her. I needed something and singing with her sort of reminded me that I needed love, and I thought she could be it for a while, but she didn't want it, I'd read those signs wrong as well, was I ever going to get shit right?

I was sort of thinking about what I'd done after that, how I'd actually come on to Brittany, the dumbest girl in the school, I must have been desperate, I sort of breathed a sigh of relief because she'd rejected me, I mean what the fuck would Mercy say about that. We sort of avoided each other for a while after that and then one day she springs up and more or less asks me out, I don't know why I didn't say no, but then suddenly we were together, it was a fluke a real fluke that I didn't know how to get out of and when we kissed, I missed it, kissing that is.

I went on that first date and got into Brittany mode straight away, like I was made for it, that night I tried to call Mercy but she didn't answer, I didn't sleep well knowing that I'd done something she didn't know about yet and then one day led to two and so on and before I knew it Christmas was here. Then oh my God that fucking fake wedding, what the fuck was that, I didn't even understand the vows, all I knew was that there were three days to the end of something, they passed and my jaw dropped when we got to day four I so regretted that move. I couldn't even express the joy I felt when Beast told us the whole damn thing was fake, she said something about it happening again some time in the future, but I wasn't going to be around for that, so I was cool. We were singing some Christmas song when I actually realised that I hadn't spoken to Mercy for like five weeks, actually she hadn't called I panicked, I mean really panicked and went into conspiracy theory mode

"Mercy" I said rolling my eyes for getting her answer machine again "I've been trying to call you forever and now I just think you're avoiding my calls, call me back" I told her throwing my phone down

I was in trouble she knew something and all communication had stopped, I was behaving worse than ever, I could see myself doing even more stupid things, and right now I didn't want to change that. I'd realised I could never be serious about Brittany, she belonged to Santana just as much as Mercy belonged to me, what the fuck was I thinking, I was geared up to tell her just that, I needed to tell her this thing between us was over, I knew that was why Mercy wasn't talking to me she was giving me that space that I really didn't need

Then she asked me to that stupid Cindy Hawkins dance, I really couldn't say no not after seeing what Blaine had put Tina through so I said yes, I even felt happy about it. I was on stage singing, stroking her face and shit while all that was rocking in the back of my mind was the last two years I'd been there with Mercy and I'd had the best time and right now another girl wasn't a distraction I needed. I went back to my first defence conspiracy theory mode, grabbed Blaine and went into action, there was something strange going on. We had that last dance I'd promised her and yeah it was romantic and everything and I played the game for her sake but really the only person I needed right then was Mercy and I know she needed Santana but right then we only had each other so we made do

Naked

The next thing I know we were sitting in Figgins' office listening to him telling us about those dumb scores, that sent me spinning, I mean my mind had made it's mind up, I was finishing this final year and heading to LA to do something at college secondly but firstly be with Mercy. How the hell was I going to tell her I was dumb and had no chance of getting a single qualification, I was already self conscious, I'd always been that way, but maybe only Mercy ever knew that about me. I was desperate, I was even up for exploiting myself to make it, that was nothing new, I'd done it before, I started paying attention to by body, in the biggest way

Later in the choir room, Jake was singing this beautiful song to Marley and all I could think was Mercy, let me love you, and here I was not even loving myself right now, Mercy wasn't around to give me that usual fix up pep talk, and I don't know why but I turned to Blaine, I finally told him how I felt about myself, he encouraged me to try and I can't lie when I saw Mercy on that laptop I cried, it had been like that was all I ever needed, to hear her voice, it had been so long, I was scared at how lost I was for not having her in my life. It seemed like that was all I needed to fix my head, her telling me I was worth something it changed me, for a while I was responsible, Mercy's Sam again, seriously wondering what I was doing with this Brittany thing I'd started. I say that but I think by now even she knew we were nothing more than very close friends who kissed sometimes, and got lost in a world that didn't exist, my nose have been put out of joint with that 'You're dumb' thing Figgins had pulled and then Brittany laying on the pity, which she quickly followed with gloating didn't help either

Then Santana turned up unexpectedly telling Brittany about staying away from me, singing shit to me like she actually owned me and yeah I sang back I was pissed, flaunting her new girlfriend in Brittany's face, which told me everything I really ever needed to know about them, Brittany was so jealous of Santana's new girlfriend Elaine I think, I was even jealous of her having a face to feel that about, I was still imagining Martin. As I sung that song with Santana I realised she wasn't mine at all, I should have been fighting for my girl not Santana's she was her end game for real. It really wasn't until I saw her walking out of school that I actually realised that if she knew Mercy did too, talk about blow to the chest, I would have called her to explain but she wasn't answering my calls now anyway, she hadn't since the fake wedding thing. Then ironically she turned up for Will and Emma's wedding, played with Kurt and Blaine, sung a song and left without a word, I didn't even grab her attention or if I did she didn't let on, Brittany was clinging to me like skin, she'd told Santana to go live her life or something and wanted to seriously prove a point, more fake happy I guess. Mercy's move told me she was hurt, I was hurt because I knew she was hurt, bad, and I was responsible for that, all she'd asked was for me to keep her in the loop with what was happening for me and I didn't, I broke a promise. I couldn't look at her face, without seeing disappointment every time I opened my locker, I even took her picture and put it in the back of my wallet behind the picture of my favourite guitar and still every time I opened that I felt guilty

I dived back into Glee after that got really involved in the feuds going on around school, it took my mind off my own feud that I didn't want to face right now, plus I was busy pumping everything I had into doing those applications and studying for the big exams coming up, I was determined to make Mercy feel proud of me about something.

Brittany told me about the drama with Finn and some guy that was mistreating Rachel or 'his future wife' as he called her, and how he went to New York and beat the living crap out of him "Yeah I could do that" I smiled as she told me

"What you'd do that for me?" she asked

"Brittany" I looked at her wanting to tell her not to be so fucking stupid, but her eyes looked so sincere I just smiled

"I know, you'd do it for Mercedes" she smiled "I know you still love her, I don't mind I still love Santana too"

"Sorry" I smiled at her saying, grateful that she at least knew that

Guilty Pleasures

I was blown away weeks later when we sat in the auditorium listening to Blaine sing his guilty pleasure, and realised he was singing to me, I think I went all the way back to Mercy singing to me back in Junior year, after I'd come on to her so strong she was struggling to keep it in, I was with Santana I couldn't do anything just then and she knew it but she forced me to make that move and I was going to but Santana got there first and kicked me to the curb, however that went down it happened and I really didn't care. But this was different Blaine was a bro, we'd seen everything of each other if you know what I mean, and if I'd have ever thought he'd had any of those kinds of intentions I'd have covered up more, kept some distance or something, I'm not gay. I was walking down the corridor towards the choir room about to speak to Blaine about this situation we'd found ourselves in when my phone vibrated, I was all up for leaving it, and I did the first time but when it rang again I decided I was being petty and answered it

"Sam" I heard down the phone I nearly dropped to the floor

"Mercy" I stopped walking to pay attention "What's up?

"Nothing, it's just been a long time, I thought maybe you were between classes and I could get an hello in" she giggled

"Hello" I smiled down the phone she knew by my tone I was happy "How are things?"

"Fine just missing you guys"

"I miss you too" I cooed "Listen I've got something to deal with right now but please call me back later or let me call you"

"I'll call again when I can" she told me "Bye" she sounded sad saying

"Bye" I told her as I carried on to get this thing with Blaine sorted

I thought I was going to shout when I got there, I intended to, but something else came out I guess Mercy had put me in that be kind mood so I told him nothing was going to change, we'd always be friends or even more like bro's and we hugged it out.

Shooting Star

Then weeks later the shooting happened but just before that, I must have been seriously neglecting Brittany because she started down that damn hole again talking about meteorites and shit, I know Blaine saw it in my face because he had it in his face too we were scared for where she could go this time. I started straight away giving her more attention, I had so much to lose Mercy had just started getting back in touch with me, she'd finally come down off that damn ceiling I'd sent her up in doing this Brittany thing, and here I was not learning a damn thing from it. I was even more mad with her and myself when she sung a fucking love song to her cat

Then those fucking shots went off, and truth my first thought was, was I ever going to see Mercy again, I was thinking should I get my phone out and tell her goodbye, call my parents what should I do, I was sitting there for a while thinking crying for not ever seeing her again. It was like Will got up and said what was in my mind, I took my phone out and sent her a message and sent one to my parents too before sitting back, I remember thinking 'I'm ready now' like I'd done everything I needed to do before I died. Then it clicked to me Brittany wasn't in the room, she'd gone to the bathroom, why didn't I think of that first, I'd been spending all this time trying to get her to say she loved me and when push came to shove, I knew where my loyalties lay, I was a hypocrite, I loved her, of course I did, but only as part of my Glee family, so I really needed to know that she was safe. I jumped up to go find her and struggled with Will "Sam" I heard Blaine say as I sat down "Tina's not here either" he said as I looked around the room 'Shit how did I miss Tina, Mike would fucking kill me'

"What are we going to do?" I asked Blaine

"They'll be alright, they have to be alright" he replied

The pressure was on for me, all I could see was everyone's hearts breaking as we lost two of our own, Tina was Mercy's girl, I had to get out there, but try as I might Will and Beaste wouldn't let me through, but everyone was safe in the end and I finally got an I love you out of Brittany, I knew it was as a friend and stuff, but I didn't care that was how I finally meant it too

I went to the auditorium and called my parents to tell them everything was alright and texted Mercy to tell her everything was alright, I was just putting my phone away when it rung "Fuck Sam are you alright, I'm on my way" she shouted

"I would love that, but I'm fine" I laughed down the phone

"I'm so scared for you guys, Tina was outside she had us all on standby, you didn't try to be the hero did you?"

"I thought I was your hero?"

"You are and only mine" she giggled

"Okay I guess I need to tell you the third person I thought about was Brittany and I did try to get out to save her but I was more scared after I realised Tina was out the room too"

"Sam they must be so scared, I'm scared and I'm in LA, hug them for me and tell them we love them, we like to hear that shit"

"I did that already" I laughed

"You're learning fast" she giggled "And"

"I love you more" I told her and I meant it "Everyone's coming in, call me later, bye"

"Bye babe I love you too"

There were after effects of course there were and everyone was dealing with post trauma how they needed to I discovered Ivan my ultra-ego who had every area of his life under control, I needed him right now. I was in love with Mercy and mirroring that onto Brittany, had Blaine madly in love with me and accepting Brittany's cat as competition, missing my parents like crazy, trying to study and flipping out for not hearing anything about college just yet. Making a bad situation worse Brittany had actually gone off to MIT to check stuff out so all this dumb stuff was getting a bit real for me, but the consolation was her pressure was off, and then today to top all that, there were no lights in the school so we had more time than usual doing my favourite thing right now, singing

Blaine and I were getting on just fine, we'd definitely bonded, he was suddenly my best friend, I was beginning to like myself again

"Mercy" I moaned when she finally answered "Come to Regionals to see me perform, I have no one to cheer for me, my parents are so far away, the girl I love ignores me so much I just nee..."

"What, I'm no longer the girl you love?" she butted in

"You are, and don't say you don't ignore me"

"I own up I do, but that's because you're with Brittany now"

"That doesn't mean I don't love you"

"And it doesn't mean I don't love you either, we'll see about me coming to Regionals but we won't hook up, not while you're with Brittany"

"So I'll see you next week then" I laughed

"Sam I said ..."

"I'll see you next week then, did you hear me?"

"I might" she giggled putting the phone down on me 'She's coming' I thought to myself smiling

Wonderful

So a week later I'm sitting listening to Will talking about everyone's move to pastures new, just about to get my sulk on when shit, Mercy walks in with Kurt and Mike, I was lit I can tell you that for nothing, I know Blaine was on fire too he was beaming, Tina was put out I guess by her attitude towards the very welcome visitors. I don't know if I was pissed or stoked when Kurt announced Mercy's new album and video shoot, and I was going to say something right there but the look on her face told me she was going to be ripping Kurt a new one after this, so I left it

"Wow Mercedes that's awesome" was all that came out, because I really thought it was, she totally ignored my response telling me she wanted that to be something we'd discuss later. She finally acknowledged me when we got to the auditorium and we were dancing, singing and laughing again

"Where's Brittany?" she asked when we'd finished

"She's gone to that MIT interview I told you about"

"Shit" she said looking at her phone as she walked away from me "Sam I'll see you later" she stopped to say as I heard her call Martin over the phone, I rolled my eyes and I didn't really give a shit if she saw me, I was pissed, the next time she spoke to me she was crying

"Mercy what's up" I asked, already mad at whoever had done this to her, I wanted to climb through the phone

"It's Martin" she sobbed, I wanted to rag her out for crying to me about another fucking man, but was I being a hypocrite right now? Yes

"What did he do?" I asked wondering why she didn't cry over me like this when she fucking left, I sat listening to her telling me about her album, the sleaze Martin her Agent and what they wanted to do with the album cover "Shit Mercy" I gasped when she'd finished "It's your voice, your story don't let them slap something you're not happy with on that cover, you hearing me?"

"I hear you" she giggled

"I mean it Mercy, settle for anything less and you'll have me to deal with"

"I hear you Sam" she laughed "And thanks for the ear, I'll see you later yeah?"

"That's not all you got, you know that right? And yeah later" I laughed before the phone went down, soon practice was done and I grabbed my opportunity "Mercy you want a lift home?" I asked as everyone looked on

"Yeah sure" she smiled as if it was nothing

We went out past the town and down to the lake, found a spot and sat talking "I thought Martin was a new man" I finally told her "A lot of shit happened because of my jealousy about that man"

"Sorry, he's my agent I guess I did that on purpose, I wanted you to get on with your life"

"I guess I see that now" I laughed

"And I still need you to do that"

"I will" I leaned into her telling her "Now kiss me" I told her looking at her lips, I knew my eyes were telling her I wasn't joking they were full of lush, she did, I was actually too close for her to get out of it. My tongue slipped easily inside her mouth, demanding attention, I'd had none from her for the longest time, I was instantly at the point where I had a firm understanding of the phrase, melted into someone, my body was consumed as soon as our lips met. I pushed her to the ground with the force of my urgency and suddenly we're full on making out at the lake, there were couples around us doing the same thing or watching us I really didn't care all I could focus on was the feel of Mercy's lips on mine and the heat of her body laying flush against mine, her smell taking me home, my hands pulling her face into me as we both got lost "I love you" I finally let go of her lips to say looking into her eyes as a tear fell from it "What's up?" I pulled back even more to ask

"You're with Brittany" she told me, as all that shit came rushing back to me and I pulled away and sat up

"I'm sorry" I told her, I should never have put her in that position, that left a frost on the night that I really didn't need "I'll sort it" I told her wiping her tears as I stood up and helped her up to take her home

We drove home in silence, all I could think of was where that kiss could have gone had this been another situation, I glanced sideways at her in the passenger seat, her face telling me that our kiss meant something, there was more feeling behind it than she was ever going to admit right now "Penny for your thoughts" I asked, she looked at me and smiled before covering my hand on the gear stick with hers. She lifted that same hand to softly touch my hair, brushing the dropped strands back off my face before stroking down my face and across my cheek touching the corner of my mouth, automatically my mouth dropped open as my eyes left the road for a second to take in what was happening. She stared at me as her hand traced the line of my bottom lip, I suddenly felt this was serious and looked back at her

"I love you back" she told me making my heart race

"I sort of … I guess I sort of thought you left me hanging on that back there" I smiled, "I love it when we touch" I told her, I couldn't stop the car, I'd have taken her right there on the side of the road

All Or Nothing

The day Brittany was due back I was super fidgeting, I'd not said anything to her about asking Mercy to come before she 'd left and I hadn't seen or even heard anything about Santana come from her mouth since we'd had the sing off thing. I was sat in the Choir room with everyone else when she walked in, made some stupid announcement and finished with me by text, it was embarrassing, but it saved me from doing anything. I felt guilty for leaving her to fend for herself, but then I decided to take Mercy's original advice and made the call to Santana, told her about her girl and that she needed to come back and sort her out, which she did just in time for Regionals. Mercy was at the side lines watching like a hawk, and I was surprised when Brittany turned up for the actual show and gosh we won.

Blaine was chatting about proposing to Kurt, Santana and Brittany looked like something was getting back on the cards for them, Tina and Mike were on good talking terms, Mercy was smiling at me a lot, Will and Emma got married and even Ryder and Wade said something amicable to each other after the feuding and confessions, before the day was done.

Suddenly the end of the year was over, I was yet again standing saying bye to my friends, looking at Mercy the pain was as horrible as the beginning of the year, the only difference might have been that I think this time it was maybe harder for her to rip herself way from me. I didn't know if I was laughing inside or it was the jitters of letting her go jumping around in my stomach as I watched her walk away from me, I kissed her as usual and let her go, she looked back for just a second but I saw tears and for that moment I was happy, she'd miss me, I knew that for certain. I waited for her to be out of sight before I clasped my hair in my hands and squeezed it so hard if it was truly alive it would have screamed, I don't know why or how I love that woman so much but I hell of a do

I turned and walked back to my car, sitting looking at the wheel, it was the end of yet another year and I'm sitting here thinking what the fuck happened what did I do, I totally flipped out and although I remember it all, I sat there feeling like shit, I'm in love with Mercy, all this time I've been in love with her and because I know she demands that I enjoy my last year I totally fuck around like that

"Shit" I hit the wheel when I realised that all over this time I hadn't mentioned to Mercy the cat I'd brought for Brittany "God this whole damn year, except the Mercy bits, need erasing" I told myself starting the engine to make my way home smiling as I heard 'Gangsta' by Will Jay playing on my radio, she'd been in LA influenced by all that shit and she still she wants me, what was it Mr S said, unfinished business "I guess we are"