Daryl felt like he was being ripped in two, the half that had lived only for Beth, for the love between them had burned to the ground when that shot rang out, spilling her blood against the stark whiteness of the hospital walls. He was numb after that, memories of yelling and screaming, of death and mourning. Maggie's scream of pain still echoing in his ears as he made his escape. They'd quickly left the city, driving until they reached the woods once more before making camp. That's when he made his escape, simply walking away and into the woods, walking until the light of the fire was a mere speck, barely visible amongst the trees.
That when he let himself come apart, loud, gut wrenching sobs pulled from his throat like some unseen force. He could barely breathe through the gasps for breath, through the hole in his heart where the beautiful light that was Beth Greene has once shone. Even as he sobbed so hard his chest ached, he felt numb, like this wasn't really his body, like none of this was really happening and he was stuck in some god awful nightmare. His breath quickened, hands scrambling for purchase against a nearby tree as he fell to his knees, her name like a broken hymn on his lips. Why couldn't this be a nightmare, why couldn't he wake up with his beautiful Beth in his arms? Why couldn't he just hold her one more time, kiss her and tell her he loved her? His strong, wonderful Beth, the light of his life snuffed out within the blink of an eye.
Filthy, blood stained hands clumsily grabbed for his knife, the familiar weight of the hunting knife calming him only slightly. He had to feel, needed to feel something, to release the pain. Without a second thought, he dragged the blade across his forearm, a strangled sound leaving his lips before her dropped the knife to the forest floor. Blood welled, dripping down his arm and onto his pants that were already stained with her blood. Daryl wanted nothing more than to join her, to end his now useless existence and hopefully join her wherever she was.
"Beth." Her name came out as a plea, the blood steadily flowing from the deep cut on his arm. "Please." Voice cracking, she slammed his fists into the ground and let out a broken shout. "Please!" The sobs made it impossible for further speech, tears and blood flowing as he fought the urge to end it all. He fought because he knew if Beth saw him now, she'd beat him senseless for even considering killing himself. He fought because the beautiful life he fought to protect would hate him if he died for her.
Daryl sat, leaning against the tree for what felt like hours. The cut on his arm still bleeding a bit when he attempted to push himself up. "Beth..." He whispered her name like a prayer, touching his fingers to the cut. "I love you..." He whispered the words to the star filled sky before picking up his knife and heading back to camp. Her knew they'd fuss over him, give him a speech about running off and hurting himself. But now that the cut had stopped bleeding, he'd started to feel numb all over again.