It's different now
Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- None
Pairing:- Sandra/Gerry
Rating:- M
Achieve:- . /group/new_tricksff/
Summary:- What we have now makes every second of what came before worthwhile and that's all that matters. It's all different now and that's the way I plan on making sure it stays.
Author's Note:- Title from Beth I wanted to do something fluffy and fun and smutty and she provided the title and I had to do something with it this is what came out! Enjoy and reviews would be lovely!
"Do you ever think about what it was like before?" Well that came from nowhere! One minute we're sitting in bed him reading his "Good food" magazine, me lost in the world of "Life of Pi" now he's asking obscure questions!
"What are you talking about? How what was before?"
"Us. You know before we got together when we were still pretending we weren't in love? Do you ever think about it?" Ah we're talking about that, goodbye Life of Pi.
"I try now to, it wasn't the happiest time of my life you know that. Do you think about it?" By the time we finally admitted how we felt I'd spent years telling myself it was never going to happen, that even thinking about it was like a vice gripping my heart. It's a feeling I don't like reliving if I can help it. It's been nearly two years now and I've never been happier why would I want to remember a time when I was miserable?
"Sometimes, especially at times like this when we're just relaxing, doing everyday things like every other couple in the world. It reminds me how lucky I am, we are." His magazine has been abandoned too and he's lay down pull me toward him so my body is half covering his and I'm looking down at him. "I love you sometimes it doesn't take much to remind me of how much or how different everything is now because of you."
"Well my life is pretty damn good because of you too baby and I love you more!"
"You couldn't possibly love me more. Before you I could never imagine spending the evening watching rom-coms then settling down for an hour's quiet reading in bed. Before you the idea of not spending the night ravishing you when you drive me crazy even after all this time." Ah now I don't remember the part of the evening where I told him he couldn't ravish me tonight or any other night for that matter!
"Well you see before you I never thought any man could make me feel so loved and cherished yet so desired and lusted after at the same time. Now one thing I do think about that was different before is how often I used to imagine doing this." I'm kissing him with the sort of desire laden kiss so full of promises it wraps around me like a warm blanket straight from the drier.
"Yeah I remember wishing you would do that too." We've rolled over now and he's pinned me to the bed, god I love it when he does that, I love the edge to his gaze, the way it tells me how much he loves me and yet how much he wants me too. "I remember lying awake at night wishing you were beside me, that I could hold you, kiss you, touch you, make love to you."
"Un huh? So what are you waiting for? You don't have to imagine it or wish you could do anything anymore I'm right here and right now I'm pretty desperate for you to do all those things again." My nightgown and his boxers have hit the floor, his fingers and his lips are on a mission to remind me why I love it when he does this, when he doesn't just make love to me but sets out to show me how much he adores me and how he worships every part of me.
"I love you." His words are whispered gasps as he thrusts into me and I' immediately on fire with need for him. Every move he makes, every groan of pleasure, ever kiss and touch only serve to make me more desperate for him and increase my need to set the pace and remind him how much I want him too.
"You're a tease." I've managed to shift us so he's the one now pinned to the bed without ever losing contact and I love how his hands have immediately gravitated to my breasts kneading them gently as his thumbs skim my nipples.
"And you love me for it just like I love it when you get frustrated with my teasing." My need for him has taken over as I'm possessed again with desire to lose myself in how well we fit together, how amazing it feels to make love to him and how my body gives up to him like it never has to any man before.
When we make love the world outside becomes irrelevant, our lives before are nothing but a ghost from the past and I love how my body reacts on instinct to him now, my conscious mind no longer needing to interact as I give up again revelling in how he follows me and we fall exhausted into each other's rms.
"Don't think about how it was before." I need to say it; I need him to know that it's never going to be what we are again so there's no need for either of us to dwell on it.
"Why? It just reminds me how lucky I am now."
"No, it reminds us both of a time when things were horrible, don't dwell on it, focus on now." He's nodding at me now like he's humouring me but I don't care. If it stops him thinking about it for just a day it will be enough. What we have now makes every second of what came before worthwhile and that's all that matters. It's all different now and that's the way I plan on making sure it stays.