TRIGGER WARNINGS!
ABUSE, ALMOST RAPE, BLOOD, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
This is a story borne from an old RP I did with someone many many years ago. In this universe, the countries are being hunted down by their governments who believe that they need to die. The personifications have two sides to them, their human side and their country side. Like in this story, Lithuania and Toris are two different people residing in the same body. Same with Belarus and Natalya. The different parentheses represent the different languages they are speaking.
"This" is speaking.
'This' is thought.
I've battled with myself for years about whether or not to post this, but I've finally decided to. It's one of my best works of fiction ever, and one of the saddest yet most elegant things I've ever written. I really hope that those of you who read this enjoy it.
Play Me, Natalya
By: Sally White
[{"…alya…"}]
['Go away…']
[{"…talya…"}]
['Let me sleep…']
[{"Natalya!"}]
She opened her eyes to glare at whoever was calling to her. ["What?!"]
A boy was hovering over her, his ocean-colored eyes filled with relief and maybe some joy? [{"Oh, Natalya, thank God! I was scared that you would never wake up!"}]
She blinked. ["Toris?"]
He nodded. [{"Yes, Natalya, it's me."}]
She scowled at him. ["How many times have I told you to speak Russian when you are talking with me?"]
He ducked his head, chuckling nervously. ["Ah, yes, that's right. I'm sorry."]
She slowly sat up, taking in her surroundings. They were in a small room, no more than eight feet from wall to wall both directions, and about eight feet high from floor to ceiling. It was made of cement, with a tiny barred window high up in the wall opposite of the door. The door was thick steel, no window, no handle. She was sitting on a bed, which she realized was a bottom bunk when she looked up and saw a top bunk above her. There was a sink and a toilet, no mirror, no medicine cabinet. There was absolutely nothing else in the room, though. No table, no chairs, no rug…no hope.
She looked at Toris, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed. ["Where are we?"] she asked him, feeling a tightening in her chest.
He shook his head, the expression on his face forlorn. ["I have no idea, Natalya."]
She sat up more and turned so that she, too, was sitting on the edge of the bed. She clasped her hands in her lap, sitting up straight, staring at the wall opposite to the bed. ["How long was I out?"]
["A few days,"] he said quietly.
Her expression became hard, as did her voice. ["How many days, Toris."]
["Look, I don't know, okay?!"] he snapped. ["Maybe two or three, I wasn't counting. I was more worried about trying to keep you alive!"]
She quickly turned her head to the side to look at him, wide-eyed. He had never snapped at her before…
Toris looked up at her, and when he saw her flabbergasted expression he sighed. He ran his hand through his shaggy brown hair, and she realized that he was trembling. ["I'm sorry,"] he said softly. ["I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just…"] He sighed again, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. It was then that she realized how tired he looked; how sunken in his eyes were, how thin his face had become, how pale he was…
She realized then that she had started trembling, and that scared her more than realizing that she was scared. ["Toris?... What's going on?"]
He looked at her again, his face grim. ["We're being held prisoner, Natalya."]
["By who?"]
["The government."]
She gave him a bewildered look. ["Which government? My government? Your government? Russia's government?"]
He sighed again. ["All of them. All of the governments in the world."]
Her mind was whirling. ["I don't understand."]
["Neither do I,"] he confessed. He looked into her eyes, anxious and frightened. ["They're looking for something. I don't know what. No one does. But they think that we do know, and they're trying to make us tell them what we don't know!"] His hands were in his hair, running through it and yanking on it in his attempt to keep himself from losing control. Natalya had seen him like this before, but only a select few times. And he only did it when something was extremely bad..
["There are others here?"] she asked quietly; it seemed like the only question he would be able to answer without breaking down completely.
["There were,"] he said simply. ["I don't know if they're still here, or if they're…"] He did not finish, but he did not have to. She knew what he meant.
She realized then that her trembling had turned into shaking. ["What's going to happen to us?"] she asked meekly, then was almost disgusted with herself for how feeble she sounded except that she knew she had a reason for it. A good reason.
He sighed yet again. ["I don't know, Natalya. Though the heavens know that I wish I did."] He looked at her, his expression becoming concerned. ["Hey, you're shaking…"] He started to reach out to her.
Suddenly the door was opened, and in the doorway stood two men. One of them was wearing a white lab coat and had glasses, and the other was dressed in some kind of military grunt uniform; she'd never bothered trying to learn the difference between all the uniforms, though she now kind of wished that she had cared more about it.
The man with the glasses smiled at them, and it did not reach his eyes. "Ah, Miss Belarus has awoken at last. We were worried that you had gone into a coma. And Mr. Lithuania, how nice it was of you to look after her. And we decided to let you two be roommates! Isn't that nice?" He gestured enthusiastically with his hands and arms as he spoke, but once again the emotion did not reach his eyes.
He bowed politely, no doubt false. "I am Doctor Callahan." He straightened up, adjusting his glasses. He smiled his false smile again. "It is an honor to meet you, Miss Belarus."
Toris stood up and got in front of her, shielding her from view. He spoke in English, though it was heavily accented. "Her name is Natalya, not Belarus. What is it that you are wanting?"
She peeked around Toris to look at the two in the doorway, morbidly curious.
The doctors eyes flashed and hardened, though his smile stayed put. "Now now, /Toris/, you don't want to do that." He snapped his fingers, and the grunt stood at attention. "Bad things will happen."
She saw Toris stiffen up, and he said no more.
"Now, Miss Natalya, I need you to come with us," Dr. Callahan said simply. He looked at the grunt. "Virgil, please help escort the young lady."
The grunt nodded, and he marched over to them. He grabbed Natalya's upper arms and yanked her to her feet, not caring as she hit her head on the top bunk. She yelped as her head hit the metal frame; god, but it hurt!
"NO!" Toris yelled, and he tried to ram the grunt away from her.
The grunt just kicked him aside, and Toris hit the wall hard. He slid down to the floor, groaning in pain.
It was then that Natalya really began to panic. ["Don't touch me!"] she screamed, trying to jerk her arm away from the stronger man. When that did nothing, she hit him with her free hand, kicking him in the shins.
The grunt growled at her, and he backhanded her across her face, hard. "Speak English or shut up, bitch!" he barked at her.
Natalya froze for a few moments, unable to process what had just happened. He had hit her…no one had ever hit her before…
Instead of taking this warning like she should have, Natalya became livid and tried to beat on the man even more. ["How dare you hit me?! Do you know who I am?!"]
The man jerked her around and began punching her, hitting her face and her stomach and her back and arms and legs…everywhere. "I said speak English or just shut up, you stupid fucking cunt!"
Natalya tried to fight back, but she could not do it with only one hand. She tried to cover her face with her one free hand, not wanting him to break her nose or her jaw or anything like that. She could hear Toris yelling at the man, begging him to please stop. She bit her lip to hold in a whimper. ['Ivan, big brother, where are you?! Come save me, please!']
After a few minute, the doctor cleared his throat and snapped his fingers. "Alright, Virgil, that's enough."
Immediately the abuse stopped, and the grunt let go of her arm to go back over to the doctor. She collapsed on to the floor, in too much pain to even attempt to stand up. Her head was whirling, whether from the pain or the shock of what had just happened she did not know. He had just beaten her…no one had dared to even hit her before, ever. And now she was just beaten…
The doctor looked at her, a cool and calm expression on his face. "It seems that we don't need you to come with us tonight, Miss Natalya." He looked at the grunt. "Let us leave now, Virgil." Then they left, closing the door behind them.
As soon as the door was closed, Toris rushed over to her. ["Natalya! Oh, Natalya, are you alright?! Oh, what am I asking, of course you're not alright! Here, let's get you off of the floor."] He placed her arm around his neck and pulled her to her feet, helping her to lay down on the bottom bunk again. He looked at her, worry and fright bright in his eyes. ["Is there anything I can do?"]
She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth. ["Wake me up when we get out of this hellhole."]
Days went by, and those days turned into weeks, and those weeks turned into months, and those months turned into a year. A whole year, they had been in this hellhole of a room. A whole year of darkness and fear. A whole year of pain and confusion. A whole year without any semblance of hope…
Natalya had lost so much weight that her skin was practically sagging on her bones. Her hair was dry and brittle. She had lost her eyelashes and most of the hair of her eyebrows, and her fingernails and toenails were always blue with cold because she had no ounce of fat to keep her warm. Toris was not looking any better. They both were covered with bruises and cuts and scrapes that they got from enduring the daily torture of getting beat by Virgil. The doctor had started asking them questions, about what they knew about the other countries and what they could have possibly told them in world meetings. When they gave him an answer he did not like, he would have Virgil beat them. And he never liked their answers…
Natalya woke up, slowly. She tried to sit up, but was held down by something; a pair of thin, boney arms. She smiled a half-smile.
Natalya and Toris had taken to sleeping in the same bed at night to keep each other warm, because they were too thin to stay warm if they slept by themselves. Plus, it was a way for them to comfort each other in this hellhole of a room. They had become very close in the past year, and Natalya now considered him to be her best friend. ['My only friend,'] she thought grimly. She shook him. ["Toris. Wake up, Toris."]
He moaned and snuggled closer to her, muttering, ["Don't wanna."]
She frowned, stiffening. ["Toris, let go, please."]
He did, not quickly but not slowly either, and she sat up. He also sat up, and he looked at her. She looked back at him. This was their routine; they would look at each other and try to decide if they remembered how to smile, but more often than not they would find that they had almost lost the ability to smile.
The door opened, but they didn't look. They did not need to look to know who it was.
But, apparently, today was different.
"Virgil, rape her."
Both of their eyes widened in horror. 'WHAT?!'
The grunt stomped over and grabbed Toris, throwing him away and against the wall. He then pinned Natalya down on the bed. She stared up at him in terror.
The grunt barred his teeth at her. "Now you'll get what's coming to ya, whore."
"NO!" Toris screamed, throwing himself at the grunt, trying to drag him off of Natalya. The grunt kept pushing him off and punching him, but Toris refused to give up. "NO! Don't do this! Doctor, don't let him do this! I'll do anything! Please!"
"Then tell me what I want to know," the doctor said calmly.
"I don't know anything!" Toris protested, his voice desperate. "Please!"
The doctor looked at the grunt. "Virgil?"
The grunt tore the top part of Natalya's dress open, revealing her bra. She gasped, but couldn't blush.
"NO! DON'T!" Toris screamed, beating on the grunt with his fists.
"Then tell me."
"I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"
"Virgil?"
Another rip, this time the skirt of her dress.
"Stop."
Everyone looked at Toris. It was his voice, but it was different; a little deeper, more official. He stood taller, his shoulders back, his head held high. He looked prouder, and more confident.
"The boy doesn't know anything," the voice came from Toris' mouth again. "Now, please, let the girl go."
The doctor raised an eyebrow. "Ah, so Lithuania has appeared at last. I was wondering what it was going to take to bring you out." He pushed his glasses up. "If I let her go, what do I get out of it."
"The other thing that you want," Lithuania told the doctor.
Dr. Callahan suddenly perked up, looking almost giddy. "Really? You'll really do it? What of the boy?"
"He also agrees," Lithuania said, his voice never hesitating or cracking.
The doctor smiled a manic smile, this one actually reaching his eyes. "You have yourself a deal then. Virgil, you can stop now."
The grunt got off of Natalya, walking back over to the doctor. She sagged down onto the bed in relief, trembling. She had almost been raped…she turned her head to see what was happening.
The doctor pulled looked at them. "You have by sunrise tomorrow. One of you must die. If one of you is not dead by then," he glasses flashed, "things will get worse. Much, much worse."
"Understood," Lithuania said simply.
Natalya abruptly stood up, feeling someone else take over her being. ['Belarus…']
{{"No! I will not stand for this!"}} Belarus cried out in her native tongue.
Lithuania looked at her. [{"Don't worry, I won't kill you."}]
{{"And I'm not going to kill you,"}} she said stubbornly. {{"Liet, what are you thinking?"}}
He looked into her eyes, his serious and meaningful. [{"That I cannot let you die. I would never be able to forgive myself if you did, and neither would the boy."}]
{{"Don't you dare do this out of some obligation you feel because of the boy's feeling's for the girl!"}} she shouted, beyond angry.
[{"I'm not,"}] he said softly, reaching up a hand to place it on her cheek. His eyes were soft and gentle as he looked at her. [{"It is not out of his feelings that I am doing this, Bela."}]
She gasped, her eyes going wide. Watching from inside, Natalya could not help but also gasp.
The two nations stared at each other for a bit, before the doctor cleared his throat. "Well?"
{{"I will not kill you with my knife,"}} Belarus whispered.
Lithuania nodded. "How will we kill if we don't have a weapon?" he asked the doctor, not taking his eyes off of the female country.
"You have a point," the doctor conceded. "Virgil, your gun."
The grunt pulled a gun out of his uniform and tossed it on the ground near them. "When we come back at sunrise, one of you had better be dead," the doctor reminded them almost cheerfully, and the two left the room.
Toris and Natalya came back into themselves after the pair had left, and they continued the stare off. ["I'm not going to kill you,"] Natalya told him, her voice shaking. ["I can't!"]
["Yes, you can, and you will,"] Toris told her firmly.
["But why?!"] Natalya asked desperately. ["Why do we have to die? We can't die, we're personifications, for crying out loud! It's just not possible!"]
He smiled at her, a tired and affectionate smile. He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly, ignoring her ripped clothes. ["Actually, it is possible,"] he told her softly. ["If both the personification's human and nation side are willing to give up their life and die, it is possible."]
She clung on to him, her fingers clenching the material of his shirt in her hands. ["But…I don't want you to die…"]
He chuckled softly, burying his nose in her hair. ["You have no idea how happy hearing that makes me."] He held her closer to himself, his lips by her ear. ["I love you, Natty. I'm in love with you, and I always have been. I want to protect you, and I want you to be happy. I'd break my heart a thousand times over if it meant that you could be happy forever. If you're happy, then I'm happy, no matter what you do or who you're with."]
Her eyes filled up with tears. ["I…care about you, Toris…but, I don't—…I can't—…"]
He shushed her. ["I know, Natty. I know. And it's okay."] He pushed her back with his hands on her shoulders, looking into his eyes. ["But I need you to kill me. I can't live if you're not alive."] His eyes went soft, pleading. ["Please…"]
She stared at him for a few moments, wishing that she had been kinder to this boy in their past. Then, she slowly turned her head to look at the gun on the floor..
At sunrise, Dr. Callahan and Virgil came to the room to find Toris dead from a bullet to his heart, and Natalya was curled up in a ball on the floor by the body, her eyes glazed and lifeless. She felt numb, physically and emotionally. It was only after they had taken the body and left that she realized that she was screaming…
"She was morning, and I was night time
I one day woke up
To find her lying beside my bed
I softly said "Come take me"
For I've been lonely in need of someone
As though I'd done someone wrong somewhere
But I don't know where, I don't know where
Come lately
You are the sun, I am the moon
You are the words, I am the tune
Play me"The End
I don't know if I'll ever write more of this AU. If any of you want to expand on it, please feel free to. It's an idea that I've wanted to see flourish for a long time. Drop a review if you'd like.