James Potter had never had a best friend before attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His parents were older, so he spent the majority of his time around older kids and no one his own age.
Because of this, he had developed a taste for mischief and mayhem and was very good at talking his way out of it.
On September 1, he met Sirius Black and his life was changed instantly. They'd become friends the moment they sat down next to each other at the Gryffindor table and had served 13 detentions together before Halloween (a record he was quite proud of).
Since James had never had a best friend before, he wasn't quite sure how to share one. On November 4th, he found himself faced with this very dilemma at breakfast.
As Sirius bit into his fifteenth piece of bacon, a ruffled looking owl landed in front of him with a letter addressed to Sirius in the worst penmanship James had ever seen.
"'Bout bloody time," Sirius exclaimed snatching the letter off the owl's leg.
"Who's it from?" James asked
"From my other best mate Evans. Goes to Beauxbatons. We grew up across the street from each other and my uncle and Evans' parents didn't want to wish us on anyone else so they separated us. Flipped a coin for who would come to Hogwarts. I️ won. Evans didn't speak to me for an entire summer." Sirius explained and then started to read the letter.
From his reactions, James could tell it was highly entertaining. For Sirius kept laughing out loud and saying things like, "Classic Evans" or, "What a gem".
"Oh god James, you have to read this. I've never even thought about how well the two of you would get on," Sirius said and handed the letter to him.
The penmanship was dreadful and the letter seemed to be covered in food stains and grass. By some miracle he was able to decipher it
Dear former best mate and all around Prat,
I hope this letter finds you. Maybe. You have sent me out into the most boring place that ever existed. All because you set Mrs. Jones' cat on fire and it ran down the street. We would've been able to go to Hogwarts together but "ONE MORE MISSTEP AND YOU'LL BE SEPERATED." And you decided the next day was a great day to turn a cat's tail into a Christmas tree. While beautiful before the flames I am still bloody pissed at you.
In other news, Boredbatons isn't quite as bad as expected. We've got etiquette classes and I'm shit at that. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY FORKS?! I just want to get my food into my mouth. You don't even need a fork for bacon. or toast. so. I'm set.
I'm great in charms and potions. Everything else is tits. I've only gotten 7 detentions and am sure you've gotten more. I keep getting caught before I can even do anything good. Our prefect is a little too by the book and is trying to take me under their wing.
"I was like you once Evans, I was a little too into mischief and now look at me," Prat Prefect says "I'm bloody boring and a prefect too and have an internship"
I want to say "Look Mate, that's great but I've got a detention record to break and you are in my way"
Have you found any secrets of the castle yet? It sounds amazing and much better than here. Sorry if you've needed your copy of "Hogwarts: A History." I nicked it. You deserve it because you got to go there. Find a secret passage and I'll send it back.
Is there really a giant squid in the lake? You should teach it to tap dance.
Probably the most exciting thing that happened was I successfully convinced my dorm mates that November 1st is the best time to decorate for Christmas! We're going to have two trees!
I've had some good pranks. Too hard to write. I'll tell you at Christmas (only 51 days left you know).
Tell whoever is replacing me they've got a lot to live up to.
Cheers,
Evans
PS. Hurry with your response. This owl belongs to Prat Prefect and he doesn't know I used it.
After finishing James asked, "So you're only mates with mad people then?"
Sirius only laughed, turned Evans' letter over and wrote his response on the back.
Until third year, James generally forgot that Sirius had another best mate. Except for Holidays (when Sirius would come back full of tales of Evans' exploits) or the occasional letter it was like Sirius had never had a best friend before Hogwarts.
That was until they were halfway through third year and had fuck-all of a plan with how to help their mate Remus through their werewolf transformations.
"I'm telling Evans," Sirius announced one morning at breakfast. "Evans will know what to do"
When the reply came back a week later with a simple
Sirius,
The answer is obvious if you think about it from the right angle. Werewolves don't hurt animals.
I smuggled this from the restricted section. I've marked the chapters you'll need. Hope you've got patience. If any idiots can do it it's probably you and your mates.
Evans
It had taken them the better part of two years to work it out and when they finally successfully transformed in fifth year, Evans' reply had been wonderfully sarcastic.
Snuffles,
That's what I would name a dog version of you, Sirius. You've probably got some other lame nickname picked out though - like wiggly tail or some nonsense.
I thought you figured that out ages ago. This is what happens when you force your best mate to go to another school.
Anyway I've got to go. Only two months until Christmas you know.
-Evans
PS. Do dogs have belly buttons?
PPS. Have the transformations helped Remus? The bloke I'm hoping to intern with this summer is working on a potion that might help. I'll try to teach you how to make it if I do!
As was their custom, Sirius passed the letter to James to read when he was finished.
"We've gotta change your nickname, Sirius. It is rather stupid that all of our nicknames are about our tails," James told him. "I do like Snuffles," he finished and passed the letter back to Sirius laughing.
"Evans is a bloody nightmare I tell you," Sirius said, not meaning a word.
In January, Sirius had written to Evans for dating advice. The response
To my friend who is a cotton headed ninny muggins,
HONESTLY. If you fancy someone just go up to them and say "Oi [fill in the blank] I fancy you".
And then you put your mouth on their mouth
(Its called a kiss- a snog if you're lucky- which I always am)
Works nearly every time.
Good luck,
Evans
PS. I'm sure Remus fancies you too
After this advice proved successful and had gotten Sirius and Remus together, James decided to try to "put his mouth on their mouth" with Yvonne the Hufflepuff.
She was not amused. When James returned to their dormitory covered in pumpkin juice he told Sirius, "Tell Evans 'put your mouth on their mouth' is shit advice" before slamming the door to their bathroom. He could hear Sirius laughing the entire shower.
When Evans' response was
Honestly. Of course "put your mouth on their mouth" is shit advice for birds with the name Yvonne the Hufflepuff. Do you lot ever learn anyone's last name?
Normal Birds like flowers I'm told. And compliments. Not to be accosted with mouths.
I got the internship! Guess Potter is stuck with you until August!
Sorry for the shit advice,
Evans
James felt a little less angry and a little more stupid. He was, however, thrilled with the development that he would have Sirius all to himself for a majority of the summer.
In mid-March they began to panic about taking their O.W.L.S., and, since Evans was "a bit of a swot," Sirius had written for studying tips.
The response was a letter that said
Black,
I am only a swot because there is nothing else to do here! Our O.W.L.S aren't until next year but all my swotty mates have already begun to study at least an hour a night.
I've attached some of our flashcards because I am sure you don't even know what you're being tested on. Honestly.
Evans
Along with the letter were over 200 flashcards (color coded by subject) written in Evans' much improved hand.
"Always saving the day, that Evans," was Sirius' response. "We should send snacks as a thank you."
The flashcards saved their lives. James begrudgingly had to admit that, "Yes, Evans gives good advice…sometimes."
Fifth year ended in a flourish of tests and pranks. James was enjoying his summer with Sirius until August 9th when it was time for Sirius to go back home and learn the "bloody fucking difficult potion to help Remus" with Evans.
Sixth year began with little excitement- James had finally received the captain's badge and had passed every O.W.L. (he made a mental note to send a thank you note to Evans when he got his letter but forgot as soon as the captain's badge hit the floor).
Sirius, too, had been successful in every O.W.L. and they made plans to take the courses required to become aurors. The year was incredibly busy for the Gryffindors and seemed to be for Evans as well. Only two letters arrived in the fall. One congratulating Sirius on successfully brewing the potion for Remus and another that said simply
Sirius,
Of course Potter can come round for the Holidays. You've warned him of my Christmas obsession?
Evans
And so it was official. James would go to stay with Sirius over the holidays and meet Evans. He was unusually nervous about it. What would their group dynamic be like? Would Evans try to out-do him? Would they even be able to converse? Would James feel like a third wheel?
When they arrived at Kings Cross station and crossed the barrier, James realized he had no idea what to look for. He'd never even asked Sirius what Evans looked like. He followed Sirius blindly through the crowd until he heard Sirius yell, "Oi! Evans! Over here!"
Just then James saw a flash of red hair flying towards them as Evans approached he suddenly realized that…..
Evans was a girl?
Evans was a girl!
A girl.
A girl?!
Evans. Sirius' other best mate.
A girl.
Evans hugged Sirius tightly and made some joke that James didn't hear because his heartbeat was too loud and his brain was screaming
EVANS WAS A GIRL. A VERY PRETTY GIRL. EVANS. A GIRL. THE GIRL EVANS. A GIRL NAMED EVANS.
"Hi!" said Evans, the girl, Evans, "I'm Lily!"
And then Evans. The girl. The pretty girl named Lily Evans hugged him.
"Sorry," she (Evans, the girl, Lily Evans) explained pulling back when James didn't return the hug, "I'm a hugger and I feel like I know you."
There was a beat of awkward silence before she continued. "Well come on- the car is parked illegally and I'd rather not get another ticket."
As they walked toward the car and Evans (the GIRL) and Sirius chatted James was able to examine her more closely.
She was dressed in a Christmas jumper and muggle jeans tucked into boots. She had a book sticking out of her purse. She had red hair and green eyes and was gorgeous. He had always admired Evans' sense of humor and creativity in pranks. The thought had never occurred to him that EVANS MIGHT BE A GIRL. A fit girl. With a lovely name. And a lovely laugh. What was she laughing at?
He was fucked. Totally fucked.
When Evans- The girl-The Girl Lily Evans- Dropped them off at Sirius' house James was confronted with Sirius demanding, "What the hell is wrong with you? You didn't say anything the whole drive home."
James exploded "A. GIRL! EVANS IS A GIRL?! YOU NEVER TOLD ME EVANS WAS A GIRL. A fit girl- a redhead- you know I have a thing for redheads!"
Sirius looked puzzled for a minute and said "I…. guess….I never did mention Evans was a girl."
"No! I thought it was a bloke with an embarrassing first name like Nigel or something," James said.
"I WOULD NEVER BE FRIENDS WITH A NIGEL!" Sirius interrupted.
Ignoring this, James continued, "And what sort of girl gives advice like 'put your mouth on their mouth,' or steals an entire dormitory's shoes so everyone has to walk around barefoot or comes up with 12% of our pranks?"
"Evans does," Sirius said. "It's not my fault you believe in gender stereotypes."
"You could've warned a bloke. 'By the way James, Evans is a fit bird and wicked smart,'" James said, exasperated
"Listen, mate, I never thought to mention it. Evans has been my mate for so long and it's not something I thought was important. It's still the same Evans. Her first name is just Lily. Not Nigel. And yes, she is fit, but you've got other mates who also happen to be fit girls. Honestly, you and Evans are probably going to get on so well, you'll forget about me," Sirius explained.
James just muttered something about, "Alright, fine, might've mentioned it..."
"Listen, mate," Sirius said using his lawyer voice, "Are you going to mope about this all break or can we have a good time?"
"I'll stop moping," James said stubbornly.
"Good. Let me show you to your room and you can get settled. Uncle Alphard will be home in a few hours and we'll all go to Evans' for dinner," Sirius said, leading James down the hall.
"Why do you call her Evans and not Lily," James asked.
"I had trouble with the letter L when I met her. Couldn't say it- it came out YeeYeeY and she would just laugh at me. So I called her Evans and it stuck," Sirius explained.
While James was unpacking, there was a knock at the front door. James ignored it and kept setting up the guest room to his liking.
Sirius, however, was pulled onto the front step and whacked over the head by one Lily Evans.
"YOU COULD'VE WARNED ME JAMES POTTER WAS FIT AS FUCK," Lily angrily whisper-yelled at him.
WHACK! She hit him again with the take out menus sent by her mother.
"What are you on about," Sirius asked.
"In your letters! You made him sound like an absolute dork. 'Oh James got new glasses they are even thicker than the last pair' or 'Gotta go- James is trying (and failing) to work out' or you know, 'and then James puts mouth on Yvonne the Hufflepuff's mouth and she dumped an entire jug of pumpkin juice on his head'," each of these statements was followed by a WHACK
Lily continued poking him in the chest. "You could've warned a girl! 'By the way, Evans, James has a jawline that will cut you, make you weak in the knees, and the workouts are working because his arms look beautiful even in a dress shirt, so maybe don't wear a mad Christmas jumper when you pick us up- also his eyes are fucking beautiful, so maybe just be prepared'."
"You think James is fit?" Sirius asked, stupidly.
WHACK! "Yes. We're in a fight, Sirius. Fucking. Black. There are no decent blokes at my school, and you could've warned me that you're best friends with someone so beautiful. You know how I am around quidditch players- and my obsession with messy hair! I know every scar that Remus has from your descriptions, but you've never thought to tell me what James looks like. Honestly."
"Sorry," Sirius asked, fearing another whack.
"Ugh. Anyway. Mum sent me over with these take out menus. Tell me what you'd like and then we'll order. Your uncle can't make it and phoned Mum. She didn't want to cook for 'a bunch of hungry teenagers' so we'll order in and then watch something. Next time, warn a girl."
And she walked across the street and dramatically slammed her front door.
After James got over the initial shock of his best friend's best friend being a beautiful girl, the rest of the holiday was delightful.
James found that he quite liked Lily. He couldn't call her Evans because he was still reconciling the idea that she was A GIRL in his mind. They got along for the most part and even arguing with her was thrilling.
"Puddlemere, Potter? Really what a shit team!" She yelled at him on December 17th.
"At least I'm not a bloody Cannon. The only good person on that team is their seeker," he shot back.
They missed the knowing glances exchanged between Remus (who had arrived the day before) and Sirius.
After Remus arrived, James found himself alone with only Lily for company quite frequently. The four would set out for a day trip somewhere and inevitably the two of them would end up somewhere together talking and laughing.
He found that she loved swearing as much as she loved reading. He learned not to talk to her before she'd had 2.5 cups of coffee. He learned that her favorite breakfast food was also bacon, and that she had tried to be a vegetarian 11 times but failed because of it. Lily had changed his life when she took him to see Star Wars, and he had blown her mind when he took her to tour his father's hair potion factory. She was becoming one of his best mates.
On Christmas Day, James learned that Lily lived for traditions. The day was spent making cookies, opening gifts and reliving some of their favorite childhood memories.
Later, in the evening, he learned that her favorite tradition was one that Sirius hated.
"YOU HAVE TO GO, SIRIUS, IT IS TRADITION," Lily yelled when she came round to pick them up for what Sirius referred to as only, "The Bullshit that Evans drags me to every Christmas."
"I don't want to see that hag," Sirius whined.
Stomping her foot Lily stated calmly, "You say this every bloody year. I threaten you with THE PICTURE, you give in, we go, you love it- you cry and hug 'that hag' and promise to never fight me to attend again."
"FINE! But tonight you have to rip up THE PICTURE," Sirius relented holding out a hand to her.
"Alright, but only after I show it to James," Lily said and shook on it.
"The Bullshit Evans Drags Me To Every Christmas" turned out to be a production of Peter Pan that was put on annually by the primary school that Lily and Sirius had attended before Hogwarts.
When they arrived, Lily and Sirius were immediately greeted by that hag, which turned out to be a sweet old lady that taught music.
"Lily- it's always wonderful to see my favorite Wendy! I'll never forget how magical your performance was- I swear you actually flew for a few seconds," that hag said, and she gave Lily a hug, "And Sirius, I am always surprised at how good looking you've turned out. If you'd lost all that baby fat sooner you would've been a great Peter. But your performance as the crocodile is still legendary."
While Sirius spoke with that hag, James asked Lily quietly, "Baby fat?" and Lily only chuckled and said "Sirius weighed 40 kilos when we were 7 and she has never forgotten it. He lost a lot of weight before we were in the production, but she still saw him as the chubbiest 7 year old to exist. I'll show you THE PICTURE later."
Peter Pan presented by the primary school happened to be the most adorable thing James had ever seen. When Wendy leaned in to kiss Peter, the boy playing Peter said "Ewww" and dropped the acorn button into her hand and ran offstage.
Lily's commentary at this point was "When I was Wendy, the boy playing Peter forgot the acorn, so he just handed me a bit of rubbish from his pockets- a gum wrapper or some nonsense. And I told him 'you idiot, you're supposed to give me an acorn because Peter doesn't know what a kiss is' and the boy ran offstage crying. He was ten and I wais nine and I was so angry. I mean, what sort of boy is that scared of a girl?"
As Sirius "shhh"ed them, Lily winked at James and he was certain he knew exactly the sort of bloke that could be scared of a nine year old Lily Evans leaning in to kiss him on stage. Near the end of the performance, the crocodile entered to scare off Captain Hook. The costume was so large and awkward it got caught on the back curtain and tore the entire thing down. Exclaiming "THAT IS HOW YOU MAKE AN ENTRANCE," Sirius jumped up and gave the child the only standing ovation of the night.
The show ended quickly after the disaster. James watched as Lily congratulated each child individually and had to "take a moment" outside with Sirius when the girl who played Wendy demanded Lily take a picture with her.
Sirius was crying and thanking that hag "for all you you did for me," when Lily declared, "That is enough Sirius- time to go home."
On the walk home, Lily linked arms with both of the boys and remarked, "See Sirius, you always love it."
"That I do, Evans; you're nearly almost always right," Sirius responded earnestly.
"What did you think, James?" she asked turning to him with her eyes twinkling.
"Probably the best stagings of one of my favorite stories," he told her grinning.
"I knew I liked you," Lily exclaimed,"Your taste in Quidditch is shit, but at least I know you can recognize literary greatness."
James had to fight the urge to kiss her right then.
For the rest of their holiday, James only thought about kissing her two minutes a day. But 'Boredbatons' seemed to be an obstacle he would never overcome.
Meanwhile, Sirius was losing his shit. The next week was absolute torture. One afternoon, while watching James and Lily flirt their way through a snowball fight, he asked Remus, "There is no way we were that oblivious- is there?" Remus shrugged and threw a snowball straight into the back of James' head (who had just wrestled Lily to the ground).
On New Year's Eve, Sirius was sure James would finally follow Evans' age old advice "put your mouth on their mouth" when midnight stuck, but James simply kissed Lily on the cheek and asked
"Will you write to me Lily Evans? I've always enjoyed your letters to Sirius, and would much like to have some of my own."
"Only if you'll write me back, Potter. A girl has got her needs," she responded and kissed him on the cheek in kind.
And write to him she did. Every week, Lily Evans would send a letter to James Potter and he would send one back. Occasionally she would send Sirius a note, but her letters to James were always longer.
Every time there was a quidditch match James would receive a terrible poem.
Those Hufflepuffs they really stink
Go and kick them into a sink
Score some points and kick some ass
Don't fall off your broom into the grass!
GO GO Gryffindor!
-Lily
When his parents got ill, Lily sent him words of comfort. When they improved, she told him she knew that they would.
But she was also quick to call him on his shit when he was whining for nothing.
James,
Oh the horror. You didn't get a perfect score on one test. Whatever will you do?!
How will you possibly survive with your vault of gold, pure blood connections, and quidditch skills.
No one will ever hire you because you didn't get a perfect score on one test your sixth year.
Shut up and go be productive.
-Lily
Letters from Evans Days (SIrius called them that- not James) were always James' happiest that spring. If he had a shit day, a letter would miraculously appear and make him feel better. He seemed to have similar timing.
James,
I was about to murder all of my dorm mates but then your letter arrived and I remembered that I could go to jail for that. I cannot believe Sirius actually fell for that. I am so glad to have met you.
-Lily
PS. If you really want to have some fun shrink all of Sirius' pants to make him think he is gaining weight. He's still sensitive about being the fattest crocodile.
In mid-March, when James sent Lily back her flash cards (complete with annotations added by James) and a Christmas jumper with an owl wearing a Santa hat (For good luck! From James the card had said), Sirius finally had had enough.
"Mate. Do you fancy Evans," he asked James later that night.
"What," James answered quickly, "Of course not! She's fit but I think McKinnon is fit and she's just my mate. It's nice to write to someone who is on the outside of Hogwarts- you know?"
"I used to know what it was like - until you stole Evans from me," Sirius muttered.
The rest of the year flew by- Lily loved the "O.W.L Good Luck Package" and sent one in kind to James wishing him luck for the upcoming quidditch match. When he unwrapped the Puddlemere vs. Cannon tickets For the Summer, 3 Lily the card had said, James decided it would be alright to think about kissing Lily Evans four minutes a day instead of two.
When exams were over and they finally boarded the Hogwarts Express, James felt more nervous. He was going home with Sirius for the summer because it was closer to the Ministry. By some miracle, both of them had swung internships in the auror department. Because of this, Lily Evans was picking them up and he was sure he was going to vomit.
"Stop messing with your hair, mate," Sirius told him as they passed through the barrier.
This time, he knew exactly who to look for. When he spotted Lily Evans, the girl, she was already rushing towards them again wearing a Christmas jumper and she threw her arms around Sirius before turning to James and embracing him in turn. She smelt like Christmas and James thought he was probably going to think about kissing her six minutes a day as she pulled away and said, "Alright, Potter," and grinning at him mischievously.
The drive to Sirius' uncle's house was much more enjoyable when James was able to participate in the conversation. They played catch up on what happened between their last letters and now. Sirius could barely get a word in edgewise until he dramatically interrupted them with a "Just drop me off here Evans, I'll walk the rest of the way home. Since it's like I'm not here anyway". Lily reached over and WHACKed Sirius, but made a more conscious effort to include him in the rest of the conversation.
That night they ordered take out, which Sirius tried to veto.
"IT'S TRADITION!" Lily had screamed when Sirius protested.
"WE DID THAT ONCE LILY THAT DOESN'T MAKE A TRADITION," Sirius argued.
WHACKing him, Lily said, "That's how traditions get started you nitwit!"
The next day, the three of them woke up early to depart for their internships. Sirius and James headed across the street for breakfast. Lily's mother insisted they all have breakfast together every morning. Since Lily was headed to St. Mungo's, they had all planned to travel together each day. Lily answered the door in her lime green robes complaining, "Honestly, Sirius, you don't have to ring the doorbell."
"Honestly, Evans, that is a shit color on you." Sirius retorted as he passed her and headed to the kitchen. James thought she looked quite pretty in her uniform. He told himself he had to limit his thoughts of kissing her to seven minutes a day so he didn't get fired on the first day.
As the summer progressed, they all became bogged down in their work. The only time James got to spend with Lily was in the mornings when they had their breakfast and on their morning commute. Sometimes, when Sirius was acting particularly prattish, Lily would hook arms with James and insist they walk ahead of Sirius and ignore him. On those days, James prayed his heart wouldn't explode out of his mouth.
In July, when their school letters arrived, both James and Lily were both stunned to find out they had been made Head Boy and Girl, respectively. Sirius laughed for an entire 30 minutes before telling them that both schools were "royally fucked."
After they received their badges, James and Lily met at least twice a week to try to figure out how to make their jobs not suck and also how to make a difference with their positions. The more time he spent with Lily, the more fucked James began to feel. He was pretty sure he was 87 percent of the way to falling in love with Lily. He was thinking about kissing her at least 8 minutes a day. Sometimes more. Sometimes when she would look at him a certain way, he thought she maybe thought about kissing him, too.
At Boredbatons, Prefects and Heads had to go back a week early for "bonding, training, and a lot of fucking boring shit," Lily said. So on August 25th, Remus, Sirius and James escorted her to where the carriage would pick her up.
James watched as Lily hugged Remus, then Sirius, and said her goodbyes. She was laughing at something Sirius had whispered in her ear as she walked over to him.
"Well, James Potter, I hope you don't destroy your school," she said smiling.
"Well, I don't know. Sure wish I had a Head Girl like you to keep me in line," he responded.
"That's all on Sirius. And that damn cat," Lily said as she pulled him into a hug, "You'll write, won't you? Even when it is busy?"
"Every week," James whispered into her ear.
She pulled back and looked him straight in the eye, "You better. I'll miss you."
And then she had that look in her eyes again. The one that made James think she thought about kissing him too. He was starting to move towards her when-
"OI! EVANS, CARRIAGE IS HERE," Sirius bellowed, oblivious, as he wasn't watching their exchange.
The moment was lost. Lily left their embrace with a salute and said, "I hereby leave Sirius Black in your charge Captain Potter."
She picked up her trunk, boarded the carriage and was gone.
Being Head Boy turned out to be less shitty than anticipated. It helped having a long distance cheerleader.
The first letter from Lily arrived on September 2nd with a chocolate frog and a Gryffindor tie.
It was lucky because he had just spilled tea all over his.
To the illustrious Hogwarts Head Boy James Potter,
I hope this arrives on time. I know it's your first day of classes and I'm sure you're nervous and are going to ruin your tie. Honestly, I've told you how my father tucks his behind his neck at breakfast- you should try it. If you haven't, in fact, ruined your tie just keep this in your bag because I am sure you'll ruin a tie sometime at breakfast. I've put an impervious charm on it that is supposed to last "forever" according to our stupid home economics for witches course. Let me know.
The week of bonding was terrible as predicted. As I feared Head Boy is in fact Prefect Prat the Fifth and a total swot. I say this as someone with incredibly swotty tendencies. He is the worst. But I shall survive.
I know you'll have an amazing first day! I hope loads of talented people turn out for Quidditch tryouts. I know you'll win the cup again.
Best of Luck,
Lily
Putting the letter and frog in his inner pockets, James quickly changed ties. The new Lily tie smelt like Christmas, and the nerves he had had began to dissipate. He hoped that his first day letter (and extra quills, she was always losing them) would arrive while Lily was still eating breakfast.
She had and her Thank You note arrived the next morning.
James,
Thank You. I had already lost my quill by the time your note arrived and interrupted my second cup of coffee. Glad the tie was of use to you!
Lily
While they had only agreed to write once a week, the letters happened more frequently than that. At least every other day, James was treated to a letter from Lily. Sometimes it was a three foot tome about how annoying her partner was, and others it was simply a page she tore from a magazine with a thought you'd find this article interesting.
On October 2nd however, no letter from Lily had come. James was anticipating one because she was always quick to send a thank you note and he was sure he was going to receive one.
At lunch, a singular owl descended and delivered a note, not from Lily Evans but from her roommate- Claire.
It read
Dear Head Prat of Hogwarts,
We have forbidden Lily for thanking you for the package sent October 1. She needs no encouragement in her daft Christmas obsession and we ask that you kindly wait to give her anything festive until Nov 1 at least in the future.
In other news, she has been grinning like a loon every time she receives a letter from you. We told her she could only wear the said items if she didn't write you back about it. But she looked so fucking adorable we just had to send you a picture.
Kindly,
Claire Beaugendre
Inside the letter was a picture of Lily Evans proudly wearing the custom jack-o-lantern and a santa hat jumper James had convinced his mother to knit. Around her head like a crown she wore the tinsel that had been included in the "Happy 84 days until Christmas" package he had sent her.
As he looked at her smiling and laughing in the picture he knew that at least 12 minutes would be spent thinking about kissing Lily Evans. When he turned the picture over he saw Lily had snuck and written
I love it- thank you James 3 Lily
on the back of the picture. He knew the thinking about kissing Lily Evans count would be at least half an hour.
James carried the picture of Lily with him every day.
The first time Sirius caught him looking at it, Sirius said, "Mate, you're pathetic. Next time you see her just put your mouth on her mouth! You know she fancies you back."
For Lily's sake, James just gave Sirius a good WHACK.
The subsequent times, Sirius didn't say a word, but would smile knowingly and shake his head.
The end of the fall term meant holidays for most, but both James and Lily had to stay at their respective schools because they had drawn the short straw for head duties.
"For the best, mate," Sirius explained, "Christmas with Evans is an absolute nightmare and I know you sort of lived through it last year but it might be enough to set you off of her for good."
James doubted it, but he looked forward to when he would finally see Lily again during the Summer Holidays. He was at the point where he couldn't tell if the letters hurt or helped. He was averaging thinking about kissing Lily Evans 16 minutes a day, and he had finally decided the next time he saw her he would in fact tell her, "Oi! Lily Evans, I fancy you" and then put his mouth on her mouth.
The Holidays at Hogwarts were beautiful. James found himself cursing Sirius and "that damn cat" frequently as he spotted happy couples snuggled by the fire and imagined what life would be like with Lily as his Head Girl.
Without classes to take up their time, they wrote to each other daily. Lily would often joke that their owls probably passed each other and should probably just start meeting halfway.
On Christmas Day, James awoke to freshly fallen snow, a pile of presents and a new mission. As he unwrapped everything, he was surprised to find that Lily had sent him a Chudley Cannons scarf. Feeling slightly disappointed he opened the attached note
The second part of your present is something you'll like better but I've got a bet with Sirius. Let him take a picture of you in the scarf to send to me and he'll give you the goods.
Happy Christmas! -Lily
Feeling like he might be walking into a trap (but not necessarily caring) he put the scarf on. It smelt like Lily, Christmas, and he knew he was doomed because the orange in the scarf made him think of Lily's hair.
"Oi! Sirius! Take a picture to send to Lily for me?" James asked, knowing he probably shouldn't mention the bet.
"FUCK JAMES! I told her there was no way you'd wear that even if she sent it to you!" Sirius bellowed, "You've just lost me thirty galleons and this!"
He tossed a heavy box onto James' bed. Curiosity peaked, James opened the box. He wanted to weep and maybe die when he pulled out a quaffle autographed by every member of Puddlemere United and dated June 16th (the match they had attended).
After breakfast, he headed outside to complete his mission. Lily always complained that winters were too mild at her school. No snow. She wrote. It's like Christmas has forgotten us. It's terrible.
So with much care and caution, James created the perfect snowball. When he arrived at the Owlery, he put the snowball into a box and then froze it with an ever freezing charm and sent it to Evans with a note that said
Happy Christmas.
I knew you were up to something at the match this summer. The scarf is surprisingly warm even though the color makes me sick.
The snow misses you (and so do I) - James
Later that night, James received his thank you note for both his present and the snow ball. He read
James,
You sent snow! I can't believe you! It is the most beautiful snowball I have ever seen. I will hate to destroy it when I throw it at your head the next time I see you.
When it arrived it got very dusty all of a sudden and I had to leave the dining hall.
It was also very dusty when I opened the first edition, signed copy of Peter Pan. Honestly, I cannot believe your mother "happened to have one lying around." You are ridiculous.
Thank you again.
I adore it all (and you). 182 days until I see you again.
This is the first time I've ever counted down to something besides Christmas.
Got to go to make the feast (there's pudding!)
Love,
Lily
James thought about kissing her the entire feast.
The last week of break was uneventful. James spent time playing chess with Sirius, tutoring third years and planning pranks.
He was back to a tolerable 12 minutes of thinking about kissing Lily until New Years Eve.
At 11:59 he was sitting in the Shrieking Shack not feeling sorry for himself ("Shutthefuck up Sirius I do not" was a consistent statement that evening) when Lily's owl swept through a broken window.
It was midnight and Sirius and Remus were busy kissing in the New Year, so James went into another room and opened the small piece of parchment and his heart stuttered to a stop. On it was the all too familiar impression of Lily's lips in the all too familiar shade of her berry lipstick he thought about daily. Underneath the kiss was written
Happy New Year James! xx Lily
And on the next line
174 days (can't wait)
James froze. Lily had put her mouth on this paper and kissed it! That meant she probably most likely wanted to put her mouth on his mouth and kiss him! Which meant he better do something fucking right now so she knew he wanted to kiss her back before her bloody impatient owl left. After folding the kiss up delicately and putting it in the pocket he always carried Lily's picture in, he addressed her owl.
"Oi! Buttercup- wait!" James said desperately.
The owl blinked at him as if to say, "Hurry the fuck up I've got shit to do."
And James quickly looked through their pile of assorted party remnants until he found a bottle cap
and quickly transfigured it into an acorn. Hoping that she would get the message, he wrapped it in a spare bit of parchment writing
I cannot wait. Happy New Years, Lily. xx James
PS. I would never run from you on stage.
He attached the letter and acorn to Buttercup and released a big sigh. Then he poured himself a double fire whiskey before he could double guess himself and went back into the living room to harass his mates.
After the kisses exchanged via owl, something shifted in their letters. Although they never brought up the New Year's Eve exchange or talked about their feelings, it seemed like something had been lifted off of both of them and what they'd been tiptoeing around was at least somewhat acknowledged.
Returning to classes felt like a blessing to James, he had less time to think about kissing Lily Evans because he was so fucking busy.
His professors seemed to suddenly realize that they were all about to take their N.E.W.T.S and assigned homework that even made the Ravenclaws openly weep. His quidditch team decided that they were now absolutely fucking terrible and in need of daily training. To top it off, it seemed the prefects had determined that Head Boy also meant he was supposed to give them advice on their fucking love lives and even what color scarf they should wear on Valentine's Day.
On a good day, he could afford an entire four minutes to thinking about kissing Lily Evans.
Lily was in a similar state. Her school had decided to move their exams up an entire month for 7th years, and she was facing similar prefect problems.
On good weeks, they would receive two letters each.
Other weeks, they'd get only one.
In mid-March, Buttercup arrived with a letter that simply said
FUCK! PUNCH ME IN THE FUCKING FACE JAMES POTTER I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING MAKE IT! - Lily
(How the fuck is it still 90-something days)
James sent her a bottle of firewhiskey disguised as pumpkin juice and a dart board.
When, a week later, the bottle was returned empty and with a note inside of it written completely in pirate dialect, James dedicated 15 minutes of his day to thinking about kissing Lily Evans.
Boredbatons was actually the worst in April. Apparently, all seventh years were sent to obscure cabins and not allowed contact with the outside world.
On April 1, James received a letter stating
Dear James,
Since all of this is Sirius' fault for fucking up any chance one Lily Evans had of attending Hogwarts- this will be my last letter until they are done secluding us.
Since I cannot write you for an entire month I have enclosed the 30 most embarrassing Sirius Black childhood stories to entertain you on those cold nights. Please read them aloud to embarrass that fat fuck who has ruined my life.
Know that even though I cannot write you- I am counting down the days (if not minutes) until I see you again.
Talk to you in May,
Lily
PS. I've included a copy of THE PICTURE.
THE PICTURE, which Lily neglected to show him that first Christmas was of the chubbiest 9 year old James had ever seen in a crocodile costume. It took 5 minutes to recognize the child as Sirius. Later, when he gave THE PICTURE to Remus in a frame, Sirius had stormed out of the dorm vowing to "NEVER SPEAK TO THAT RED HEADED HARLOT WHO USED TO BE MY BEST MATE."
While THE PICTURE was gold, the Sirius childhood stories proved to be the most entertaining of all. Stories of pranks and fucktatude sustained James throughout all of April. Sirius would add on to every story and tell James about LIly's involvement in all of them. He thought about kissing her 6 minutes a day.
On the 25th of April, he received a surprise owl that said simply
Charmed (get it haha) my charms examiner and said that this letter was an emergency. Two months.
Lily
This was accompanied by another imprint of those perfect lips in that same berry shade from New Year's Eve. James thought about kissing Lily throughout all of transfiguration and was nearly late to Quidditch practice.
May entered like a lion. Gryffindor was neck and neck for both the house cup and the Quidditch Cup. James and Lily's correspondence was once again closer to every other day. Lily was done with exams and was busy Being paraded like a damn show pony trying to get a job instead of being in classes.
While Lily was busy tutoring students and looking for a job, James was busy trying to whip his team into shape. Sirius had banned him from complaining about his quidditch team, so his letters to Lily consisted solely of ranting about his team.
She was frighteningly good at giving him advice both from a quidditch perspective and from a yelling at people perspective.
James,
Just tell Wood that you're the fucking captain and if he wants to play at all for the cup he will shut the fuck up and guard the damn hoops.
Have I mentioned how fucking annoying first years are.
IT IS FUCKING MAY AND ONE ASKED ME HOW TO GET TO THE POTIONS LAB- WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ALL YEAR?!
SO I️ SAID
"I️ do know little first year- but you'll have to give me one of your eyeballs because I️ need it for a potion before I️ show you"
The little shit burst into tears and ran off before I️ could explain sarcasm and now I️m on probation from my position.
We've only got 4 weeks left. Like I want to be Head Girl anymore. I've taken my fucking exams LET ME GO!.
Which reminds me- 42 days.
Only 11 until your match so go kick some Slytherin arse!
-Lily
One week before the quidditch cup, tragedy struck.
James could not find his favorite and most lucky Quidditch Jersey.
"Sirius," he asked in a mild panic "Have you seen my lucky Jersey?"
"You mean the one from 5th year that has the stain on the left shoulder," was the reply.
"Yes! Where is it," James asked again frantically
"No idea mate, just wear your new one! It's nicer and fits you better," Sirius responded like a mother hen.
The next several days were interspersed with hours of searching. Sirius and Remus seemed unconcerned and even Lily was no damn help.
James,
You don't need some bloody lucky Jersey. It'll turn up or it won't but if you don't remind Jones to wake up on time you'll really be fucked!
36 days
5 until you win the cup!
-Lily
Two days before the match, James still couldn't find his Jersey anywhere. He'd decided that he would somehow survive without it. He was so fucking nervous for this game and had no idea why.
At dinner, a mail order owl arrived with a bottle of calming draught and a typed note
James Potter-
I know you are freaking out. You don't need the damn jersey. Take this tonight so you get at least one night of sleep before the match.
33 days.
2 days until you win the cup.
Lily
After taking the calming draught, James allowed himself to think about kissing Lily Evans until he fell asleep.
The day before the match was tense. James made sure all his players were escorted between classes and he had made sure they were all following the prescribed "avoid the Slytherins paths" throughout the castle.
At breakfast James had received a four leaf clover, a thimble, and a note that said
For good luck.
32 days.
1 day until you win the cup.
X- Lily
Thinking of Wendy's gift to Peter Pan, James pocketed the thimble and grinned like an idiot the rest of the day.
As was his custom, James woke with the sun on match day. He went for his pre-match run around the Great Lake (it was the best time to run because the great squid was most docile then). On his third lap, he saw two figures headed to Hogsmeade, but thought little about it. Then he went for his two hour soak in the tub. He put on his uniform (sighing about the missing jersey only once) and headed to the Great Hall for breakfast.
When he arrived, he was surprised to find Remus alone and a note already at his place in Lily's handwriting.
"Where's Sirius," he asked as he sat down.
"Oh," Remus said, not looking up from the crossword, "detention with Slughorn. He has to help him host some guest today. He'll be at the match though."
"He fucking better be," James muttered as he opened his note.
James,
Today is the day!
You'll win for sure!
Go, go Gryffindor!
xx-Lily
Smiling and feeling suddenly confident, James pocketed the letter where it rested next to the thimble, Lily's New Years kiss and picture. Maybe he didn't need the jersey for luck after all.
As he made his way down to the pitch with the rest of the team, he realized it was the perfect day for quidditch. Good light, strong breeze, and Wood seemed to have his shit together.
When the whistle blew and they kicked off, he had a surge of "this might happen." This lasted all of 30 minutes. When his keeper kept letting the snakes score and his fucking beaters were nowhere to be found and the snitch was missing and they were currently tied but wouldn't be for long if Wood wouldn't stop-
"Oi! Wood," A voice called out across the pitch. "Stop trying to do your captain's job and do yours you fucking-" the voice was stopped by Sirius Black who had suddenly clapped a hand over their mouth but it was too late. James Potter knew that voice anywhere.
Turning around to make sure but he was already positive who was screaming at Wood, but he had to see for himself, so he looked. He was not disappointed.
Lily Evans was sitting in the Gryffindor stands next to his best mate. Wearing his fucking lucky jersey and smiling at him with that look that had been so detrimental to his productivity all year. She gave a tiny wave and James roared, "TIME." As he headed to circle with his team he allowed himself 45 seconds to think about Lily Evans. If they fucking finished this game and won he could actually do it. And a whole month earlier than anticipated.
When he reached his team he started, "Look. Somethings just come up that is much more important to me than this bloody match and this bloody cup. I've got a girl to kiss and I've thought about it entirely too much to be delayed. So Wood, do your damn job or so help me I️ will tell Minnie to never let another one of you play again. Jones, get the snitch, but, you know, after I've made a few impressive goals. And you, Prewetts, just hit the damn ball."
Happy to assist their Captain in his romantic endeavors, the team played the best they've ever had.
When Slytherin was down by 100 points, James was relieved to see that Jones was after the snitch with the Slytherin seeker nowhere to be found.
The final score 310 to 60 was announced and the field was flooded with Hogwarts students.
James thanked God (not for the first time and certainly not for the last) for Lily's red hair. He was able to watch as she manuevered her way through the crowd. Enjoying watching how beautiful she looked as she stopped to congratulate each Gryffindor player and smiling kindly at every student she passed, James decided to just wait for her to come to him. When Lily finally reached him, smiling with the Gryffindor paint on her face, wearing his damn "missing" lucky jersey with the stain on the left shoulder, and his acorn "kiss" around her neck on a chain, James wasted no time. She looked at him with that look he had thought about for thousands of minutes, so he followed her shit advice.
He swept her up into his arms told her, "Oi, Lily Evans I fucking fancy you," and then he finally, finally kissed her.
All of the thousands (probably millions) of minutes he had thought about kissing Lily Evans could not compete with or compare to the actual thing. Ignoring the cheers and, "ABOUT FUCKING TIME," (Sirius) James pulled away, looked her in the eyes and told her, "I've been thinking about doing that an average of 15 minutes a day."
Cocking her head to the side and grinning mischievously, Lily asked, "What, putting your mouth on my mouth?"
Tapping her on the nose, James told her, "You're ruining the moment."
Scoffing, Lily said, "No, I'm not."
And as she put her mouth on his mouth for their second kiss, James decided she wasn't ruining anything.