Even now, when I look out the window. I can see the children playing.

I can hear the cars driving past my house.

and when I lay down and close my eyes, even now . . .

it feels like she's still here.

I couldn't remember anything, just my sister and I lying on the ground.

My next memory we are surrounded by fire

then finally im able to get back up, but she just lies there

Why did I have that dream today?!!

I probably got tired of hitting the snooze button on my alarm,

noticing it lying on the floor opposite end of my room. My mom

didn't want me sleeping in today, sometime in the afternoon she wanted

all of us to visit my sister in the hospital. I got dressed and put my

shoes on, then I just sat on the edge of my bed. The dreams I was having

were always on my mind. not only the day of the crash, but another dream.

I stand in front of a door for what seems to be days. Its pitch black and

I can tell that im standing at the end of a corridor. The door.. seems

like a giant golden gate. A young woman stands holding a baby, but in an

odd way.. she holds the baby away from her. And where the baby is,

the keyhole to the door.

What's behind that door?

I made my way downstairs, I had no plans for today, I figured id just fuck

around until we went to the hospital. I sat down on my chair in front of the

television, picked up the remote and searched through the channels.

Over in the kitchen my mom was doing something...Banging..then id hear the

faucet..then more banging.

"God forbid anyone else does the dishes" she said, sounding too much like a loudspeaker.

Among other things she said...I wasn't really paying attention.

"Jack I need you to go down to Bogart's" she finally yelled after ranting about the dishes.

"Yea sure"..still watching tv

I watched about ten minutes of "Death Mysteries",

"Not next week jack..now!" a little too loud cause she leaned over to talk in my ear.

"Alright..., what do you want?"

"There's something left for me before I checked out, just tell them my name and

they should give it to you" she said still very loud

She kept talking..but at this point I was so annoyed by everybody that I made way for the door.

Didn't even bother to get my jacket. It was cold outside I knew that already,..I just wanted to leave.

I hated Alaska so much it made me sick, the cold air seemed so boring anymore.

And I hated watching the strangers pass me on the street. They never looked at me..

just walked by looking ahead with their hands in their coat pockets. And it was more

than obvious I was looking at them, that made me feel better than them..

bigger(I am six feet five inches)..and on more than one occasion I've already

considered just grabbing one person and stabbing them in the throat. I wanted that so

bad...I wanted their warm blood on my cold hands. I wanted that beautiful red burst

of color for everyone on the street to see. With this..boring..grey..dark sky that

always surrounded me, it was the only color that could set me free.

"Jack Tanner!!!"

I turned around so see who was calling me, it was Greg Klein.

"Hey what's up buddy?!" I said trying to be just as loud.

"I haven't seen you since school, what have you been up to?"

"Just going down to the hotel to pick something up for my mom, are you...doing that ultimate fighter thing yet?" I tried

not to laugh, Greg couldn't have weighed more than 80 pounds and was only a little shorter than me at six feet. He got picked on so bad, now when someone makes the slightest joke about him he threatens to shoot them.

"Nah I've mostly been hanging out at my house" he said staring off.

I tried to look as bored as possible

"Well im gonna go" he said, turning back in the other direction.

"Alright, ill see you later", thank god

I made my way down the street to Bogart's hotel, it got incredibly dark as I walked towards the entrance.

The first thing I noticed was the black grand piano on display to the right. The lobby was incredible,

red soft carpeting, bronze vases,

and..dead bodies.